Gary Kleppe wrote:

Eric Adams Presents
Insignificant Part I - Loss

Gary: We need a joke on this chapter title, guys.

Daisuke: Gee, I can't think of one. You might say I'm at a... loss!

      Ukyou Kuonji sat at the bar and did her best to drown
herself in her drink.

Hiroshi: Which isn't easy, considering relative sizes and all.

It was a big cup?
 

Daisuke: Oh, too bad. You fall in spring of drowned cross-dressing
okonomiyaki chef. Very tragic story.

whole affair she bit her lips to keep from crying and kept
her eyes firmly trained on the floor.
      Shampoo had attended as well, though Cologne and Mousse
were noticeably absent.  Ukyou thought she heard the same
hollowness in Shampoo's voice but kept her thoughts to
herself.  The two of them had exchanged pleasantries and
avoided each other's eyes.  Ukyou had wondered where
Cologne and Mousse were, but before she had a chance to
ask, Ranma asked for a single dance.

Gary: A "single" dance? That kinda rubs it in...

He was being umm... i cant think of the word its to late.
Whatever he was he was being corny trying to tie up loose ends with no
feelings hurt but not really considering his actions.

 

      She had not noticed Akane approaching her from across
the room and was subsequently surprised when the newlywed
touched her shoulder.  Akane had smiled pleasantly and

Gary: If she's doing this now, take out the 'had'

asked her if she was all right.  Ukyou merely nodded and
went back to her silent vigil.
      She had thought to ask Shampoo if she wanted to get
together some night but Shampoo had disappeared shortly
afterwards.  Cologne and Mousse had no idea where the girl
had run off.

Gary: I thought those two were the ones who had gone somewhere.

just for the night of the reception on Shampoo had showed up the other
two had decided not to come.
 

      She sipped some more on the foul tasting concoction

Gary: some more of

      Once in the bathroom Ukyou stood in front of the
mirror and adjusted the ribbon in her hair, straightened
her skirt and made sure she was real.  She applied her best

Hiroshi: What'd she expect? That it was a film of her?

Well there are those special producers
 

makeup and walked back out to the seat next to the handsome
man.  An idea already forming in her head.

Daisuke: A fragment of a sentence.

      The man grinned at her and stylishly slicked back his
hair, "I'm Toshi, it’s a pleasure to meet her."

Gary: Toshi has a problem with his pronouns.

he was confused.  alcohol does funny things you see...
 

      Ukyou danced recklessly, her mind far away. She let
the rhythm of the music carry her body, her eyes closed
most of the time.  She moved sexually her body sometimes

Gary: sexually, her

Hiroshi: You don't suppose...

suppose what?  
 

coming in close contact to his, her breasts brushing
against his chest, her crotch on his knees. He gripped her
waist at times and when her back was turned to him he
pressed his body close against hers till she could feel his
hard sex against her butt.  Ukyou had no problem seducing
the boy.

Daisuke: YES!! The Principal has finally sent us a lemon!!

Gary: Down, boy.

but its just lemony!
 

      Once they arrived at his place, they quickly
retreated upstairs to his apartment where she stripped
naked and laid herself on his bed.
      "You are beautiful," he complimented her.

Gary: I think it's kinda obvious that it was a compliment. Who would be
insulted by that?

someone who didnt care?
oic what you meant.  *ponder*
 

Daisuke: Onna-Ranma, maybe?

      The act of penetration was what she ached and longed
for.  For years she had been saving herself for Ranma, but
his marriage to Akane had removed any hope she had of him
being her first.  Two weeks after the reception she decided
relieve herself of that burden and had masturbated herself
to a climax. Coldly and efficiently she had pierced her own
hymen, ending her virginity.

Hiroshi: Those mini-spatulas are real useful.

OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
 

Gary: <groan>

Daisuke: O.O

      He came suddenly and Ukyou reacted by faking her own
orgasm.  She had to fake because she was no where near

Gary: nowhere

[Hiroshi and Daisuke watch, speechless]

I'm collecting drool... 

 

Gary: No, it's a punctuation correction.

      "I'm alright," she started to make her way up the
stairs, "I'm tired, are you going to sleep now?"
      He nodded and followed her upstairs.  Ukyou wished
him a good night and retired to her own room.  Her legs
hurt and she felt raw between them.
      The single mirror in the room anchored her to
reality.  Tomorrow she would have to get another one or
maybe two more;

Hiroshi: I'm available!!

Daisuke: Me too! She said she wanted two anyway!

Gary: She's talking about MIRRORS, you morons!

  
yes... uhh yes she is.  *whistle*
 

      Thousand of faces surrounded her.  Some she
recognized immediately, others she had to concentrate on to
make out.  Still there were other nameless people who only
pointed and chuckled.  She picked out Ryouga standing to

Hiroshi: Is this one of those "Ukyo and Ryoga" fics?

NO! no no no ... well maybe... but its just a possibility type thing.
 

      Around Ukyou a thousand faces laughed and pointed.
      Ukyou realized she was naked and tried to cover
herself.  Happosai glanced at her and laughed out loud.
Despite her nudity and vulnerability, he made no move
towards her.

Gary: I like this. Nice way to show Ukyo's loss of confidence.

Some said it was harsh!  hell i thought it was harsh.
 

Hiroshi: That's not all that's showing! O.O

[Gary whups Hiroshi upside the head.]

smack him again for me willya.
 

      Ryouga walked up to her first, each night it was some
one different.  Ryouga faced her, a stern look in his eyes.
"Is this the best answer you have?" Ryouga whispered
harshly, "I thought better of you."

Daisuke (Ryoga voice): "I expected you to jump in a cursed spring and
end up becoming Ranma's pet!"

humm now theres an idea... i kinda like that idea... 
 

      "I tried." Ukyou whimpered as Ryouga faded before
her.
      She picked out Shampoo standing apart from the
chuckling crowd.  Shampoo had never before appeared in her
dreams.  The Amazon shook her head at Ukyou and started to
walk away.

Hiroshi: (Shampoo voice) Shampoo not be in this scene! So sorry!

Daisuke: An Ukyo and Shampoo fic? That might be new.

now these two might like that one lemon i saw a while back with shampoo
and akane.
 

      "Look at what you've become," Shampoo stood back, disgust
evident in her eyes, "Look at yourself."
      "I can't", Ukyou breathed and wrapped her arms around
her naked body.
      "Why not?"  Shampoo demanded.
      "I can't see myself."
      "Exactly."

HIroshi: What happened to all those mirrors she had?

Gary: I think that's part of the symbolism here, guys.

      Her heart pounding, Ukyou scanned the room, her eyes
seeking confirmation, they came to rest on the mirror.
When she saw she cast no reflection she started to scream.

Gary: (Bela Lugosi voice) Ukyo is now a vampire! AH! AH! AH!

[bigsnip]

Daisuke: How do you suppose the author knows so much about condoms?

I look longingly at them every so often?
 

Gary: You don't need to know that much. It's just a matter of condom
sense. Actually I think this is probably semi-autobiographical. It just
feels that way.

uhh sorta true, i mean it didnt really intend to be that way, in fact it
was more along the lines of incorporating some other idea of mine, but
it became more auto biographical towards the end when i thought about
who was responisible for whose actions.  The beginning and stuff is more
less autobiograhpical.  But I'm not unfamiliar with how depression acts
on people *shrug*.  I mean per se its not auto biographical except for
the part about the choices we make and whose actually responsible.
 

[super-bigsnip]

good thing its long. 
 

      She had chosen her outfit carefully tonight.  A black
body suit top, and some dark leggings.  It was a good look

Hiroshi: It was the Kodachi look. OHOHOHOHOHO!!!!

actually one the later outfits she wears is taken directly from one of
the OAV's. The one she wears when she hooks up with kentaro on the
second night.
 

for her.  She had made sure to cover up the dark circles
and she even let her smile reach her eyes.
      As he led her onto the dance floor she began move
already to the music.

Gary: That last sentence needs to be fixed.

oh yeah that does sound awkward.
 

 The alcohol removed her inhibitions
and she let the music carry her body.  She liked to dance
and was good at it; her movements were always in synch with
the rhythm, her body moving sexually against her partner.
Before long her and Kentaro had attracted an audience, most
entranced by her.

Daisuke: Kentaro? So that's what he's doing after leaving Ikkoku. "Mom!!
You're embarrassing me!!"

*ponder* this flies right over my head.
 

Hiroshi: Not that Kentaro, idiot. This is the one from the "Thy Outward
Part" series.

ahh yes the series that profoundly disturbs me in ways i cant describe.
 

Daisuke: I thought those were the same characters. No, he's from the
porno lemon version of that, "Thy Private Part."

      Ukyou shrugged, "It's been a long night, do you mind
opening up tomorrow again."

Gary: again?

yeah he opened it that morning cuz she slept in 'member?
she awoke to the sounds of customers downstairs.

 

      "Of course not," Konatsu stood up and brushed the
wrinkles out of his clothes, "You just sleep okay."
      Ukyou smiled sweetly at him and promised herself to
do something nice for him.  "Good night Konatsu."

Hiroshi: Like she did for Toshi and Kentaro?

not quite... 

relief.
      Despite Konatsu's prodding, Ukyou limited herself to

Daisuke: Konatsu's joined the DBTFH.

the what?

Daisuke: Hikaru is another fairly standard Japanese name. I wonder if
the author is using one of those guides that gives you a list of common
names in various languages.

Hiroshi: Cool! Our names are bound to be in a list like that!

Gary: I think the point is that she's doing every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

actually its more like what Daisuke said.  I mean i'm not that well
versed in japanese names and i was struggling pretty hard for some of
the later ones.  The three K's are names on the slayers tapes i just
got.  Producers or something.

      A second time, too horny and aching for penetration
to wait until they arrived to a more private area, she had
allowed Tetsuo to take her in a nearby alley.  Pressed
against the wall, his hands up her shirt and in her bra,
she came the closest to orgasming.  Thinking upon it as she
went home, she felt that it was the risk of being caught
that had made the experience more exciting.
      The third man, Kaneda, she had brought home with her.

Gary: Kaneda? Take off, hoser. Beauty, eh?

yet another joke that flies way over my head.
 
oh wait i just got it, eh?
(that on my read through of this)

      Konatsu sighed as she thrust his hand away again,
"That's not what I mean," he tried to meet her eyes, but
every time she looked at him and noticed his look her eyes
darted away to the mirror above her bed.  "I mean the way
you are living your life.  If you are not careful you are
going to hurt yourself.

Hiroshi: Gee, THERE'S the understatement of the millenium...

Actually i played with the idea of her getting pregnant.
 

      "So go ahead fuck me and get it over with, just be a
little gentle and please use a condom."  She turned her
head into the pillow.  "Just get it over with, quickly.
I've done mean things to you in the past, now is your
chance to get back at me."
      Konatsu looked at her in horror.  Her face turned
into the pillow he tentatively reached his hand out and
stroked her hair.  It was matted with sweat but he enjoyed
the simple feel of it on his hand.  He closed his eyes,
took a deep breath, got up and walked out of the room.
      Ukyou was asleep and didn't hear him leave.

Gary: Score one for Konatsu!

I was afraid i treated him unfairly.
 

Hiroshi: Yeah. If it had been Shampoo, Mousse would've done it.

i mean he did leave her and everything, and its sorta like he gave up on
her when she did need someone.

      She awoke the next morning feeling better.  She was
still weak and her hands shook.  She noted the cold chicken
soup and the flat ginger ale

Hiroshi: What brand? Kaneda dry?

HA!
slap him again please.
 

      "Hey," Kentaro winked at her, "I didn't think I'd be
seeing you anytime soon.  What brings you down here."  He
was with two other men, both smiled at her.
      Ukyou smiled back and turned her attention to
Kentaro.  After she had allowed him to take her, rather
haphazardly, in the back of his car, he hadn't seemed
disappointed by her leaving afterwards.  Perhaps another
night with him would not hurt.  He was handsome enough.
      "Well, I heard about this club from some friends." She
lied, currently she had nobody she could call a friend.
He smiled at her his eyes betraying nothing; "These
are my friends, Koji and Koseii."

Daisuke: We're all part of the 'K' team!

yes well after i finished it i was like hummm kkk... i hope no one takes
offense.
 

Hiroshi: Think it would help if I changed my name to 'Kiroshi'?
Gary: Not really...

//If ever you are feeling tired//
//And all your uphill struggles leave you headed
downhill//
//If you realize your wildest dreams can hurt you//
//And your appetite for pain has drinken its fill//

Hiroshi: This is turning into a musical...

Daisuke: Fast-forward, willya?

*sniff* my retrospective cut out.
 

[ultra-snip]

Insignificant Part III - Redepmtion

Daisuke: (Dramatic voice) The chapter where Ukyo trades in her Green
Stamps for valuable prizes!!

      Ryouga was confused and lost.  Both were not uncommon
states for him to be in but this felt some how different.

Gary: somehow

      She wiped at the tears in her eyes, a dull anger
slowly replacing her despair.  All of her life she had let
him have control.  Decisions that should have been hers to
make were robbed from her at an early age.  In another life
she may never have met him or even fallen in love with him.
In another, better life.
      As the dull anger slowly filled her she realized she
wanted Ranma to come.

Hiroshi: Um...

Gary: Not like that. No.

perhaps different wording humm.
 

Gary: That's two 'demanded' in the same sentence. Maybe he could use a
synonym for one of them.

Hiroshi: It's not easy to write this stuff.

Daisuke: Yes, it's demanding!

hah.  actually i always try to keep from doing what i just did there.
 

      She opened up the restaurant in the morning,
hurriedly serving patrons and shooing them out as soon as
they were done eating.  She charged only half price for her
okonomiyaki and the word quickly spread.  That morning she
did more business than she had done in the past month.

Daisuke: Yes, she had two whole customers!

now if word got out about her recent activities... well she might have
tons... i mean where were you two?
 

      Around noon, she closed down the restaurant, kicking
the last of the patrons out.  She waited downstairs, at the
grill, her head in her hands, a wide grin on her face and
her eyes focused on the door before her.  The quiet sounds
of Nerima and the restaurant filled her with unease and she
went upstairs to contemplate herself on her bed.
      Lying on her bed she stared at the mirror above her
and tried to assuage her fears.  She worried that Ranma
would not come.

Gary: That's not what she means, guys. Really.

really it isnt.
 

 She needed this confrontation, she needed
to face Ranma one last time.    She had convinced herself
that a confrontation with Ranma would allow her to heal.
      A part of her chided that he would not come, that she

Daisuke: Are you SURE it's not what she means? That word is being used
an awful lot right around now...

Hiroshi: It's very Freudian if you ask me.

Gary: I didn't.

i need to find some other word i think.  I mean in light of the story
come might not be the best word or earlier on instead of using come,
when he orgasms perhaps use cum but it sounds so vulgar.

Daisuke: By nine o'clock she realized that Ranma was supposed to be
there at four PM, not AM.

      Downstairs, unheard, there was a tentative knock on
the door.

Hiroshi: Jehova's Witnesses! Open up!

funny you should mention that.  I mean if i did base this off of
something well... btw its Jehovah's Witnesses.  I mean seriously its
really odd you mentioned Jehovah's Witnesses I mean really odd. 
Seriously odd... are you reading my mind?
 

Daisuke: (Ukyo voice) Mirror mirror on the wall...

Ukyou is the fairest of them all.
 

Hiroshi: What, he walks on the water? How does he leave Japan?

i havent a clue but i dont suppose you know the names of those two
volcanoes down in mexico.  but i think one may be popocatepl.

      "But yeah, I've stopped hating Ranma.  You can only
hate for so long, I suppose." He stopped and took another
bite of his sandwich.

Daisuke: (Ryoga voice) Oh, and I'm married to Akari now. Is that a
problem?

is not.

Daisuke: Never trust your love life to fate. If I did that, I'd never
get any dates.

so young and so cynical.

      She smiled at him, letting it reach her eyes.  "Yeah,
maybe."  She took his hand, smiled into his eyes then
turned around and went to face her future.

Hiroshi: (Shampoo voice) Shampoo is spatula girl future? Ai ya!!

not quite.
 

Daisuke: (Dramatic announcer voice) Yes, it's Tales of Shampoo and Ukyo!
Coming soon to a mailing list near you!

humm now that gives me an idea.
 

[fic ends; author's sig rolls as computer screen fades out]

Daisuke: Well, that's it, what did you think?

Gary: I liked it. I've always felt that Ukyo was a character who needs
to be developed a bit to be used in a serious story. Eric gave us a
pretty believable take on her, I think. He gives us a very human Ukyo
with needs and desires all her own.

Hiroshi: Yeah, I'll say!

Gary: Some nice imagery in the fic, too. He needs to work on punctuation
a bit, though.

yes i do.  its one of the hardest problems i have.  so thanks for the
comments on the those.  Hard to believe i was an english major for a
semester.  no wonder i stopped that and switched to television.

Daisuke: Hey, punctuation's not always easy to get right

[A knock is heard at the door.]

Gary: Wonder who that is... (opens it) Hey! It's Ukyo!

no dont show her the fic... she'll kill me!
 

Ukyo: Hi! I'm looking for Ran-chan's classroom. I brought him lunch. Can
you tell me how to get there from here?

Gary: Uh, 'fraid not. This part of the school is like a maze. Every time
any of us has tried to get anywhere, we've always ended up back here.

Ukyo: Oh well, sorry to bother y'all, I'll try to find it myself.

Hiroshi: Ukyo, can we ask you a question?

Ukyo: Sure, why not?

Hiroshi: There've been a lot of fanfics about what you'd do if Ranma
married Akane. What would you really do?

Ukyo: Let's put it this way, sugar. If you were the last male on Earth,
I'd never forget to send you a card every New Years.

she's sweet.. i'm going starry eyed already.
 

Gary: Okay, but what WOULD you do?

Ukyo: Well... all I really want is for Ran-chan to be happy. If it turns
out, which it wouldn't, that he really wants to marry Akane, then I'll
gladly step aside. I'll watch over him and make sure that Akane's going
to treat him right. If she's a good wife, I'll reward her with my very
own okonomiyaki super-special.

Daisuke: Super-special?

Ukyo: It uses a secret blend of sauces which totally covers up the taste
of the rat poison.

uh huh... just like kasumi psychotic to the end.  still i'm all starry
eyed so...
 

Daisuke: You're kidding... right?

Ukyo: Okay, you can taste it a little. What does it matter? Anyway, bye,
y'all!

Gary: I think we're done here. What do you think, your Kahuna-ness?

Principal: You wen' forget to be givin' de author's address!

Daisuke: Oh yeah. The author of this fic is Eric Adams
<eda104@erols.com>. E-mail him if you want a copy -- not the FFML.

Gary: Until next time....

Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics

thanks for the comments i really appreciate them, especially on the
grammar.  Glad you liked the story and you didnt show it to Ukyou.  OF
course those two there, well maybe i'll let them meet Sarah and my
Cubicle, of course theres my computer which Sarah and Cubicle hate cuz
he hums all the time.  

See I am losing my mind... so maybe it was autobiographical.

-- 
"I always hated stories that ended poorly. I
always felt cheated.  But you can't feel cheated
forever.  And then she woke up...
I suppose there are worse endings."
--Rose Walker, Lost Hearts
http://www.erols.com/eda104/