Sarah: Boy that last one was fun, lets do it again what do you think?
Eric: uhhh...
Sarah: *glows green*
Eric: sure why not.
Sarah: *smiling sweetly* So whats next.
Tim Williams wrote:
Ok, here it goes, my first shot at a fan fic, second edition :) I hope
it doesn't cause you too much pain.
Eric: Ouch stupid paper cuts.
Sarah: it practically leapt at you! Its evil...
*******standard disclaimer here, think: This stuff belongs to Rumiko Takahshi
and a teaming horde of lawyers, so please don't sue me, it's not worth > it****
"What if?" A common enough question, but it seems to have so many variations
that it is still quite popular... Well, I have a couple "What if?"s of my
own.
Eric: What if I had never imagined a deranged powercrazed girl named
Sarah Leahy?
Sarah: Excuse me?
What if Genma and Soun had chosen a different cave in which to imprison
Happosai?
Eric: Like say some obscure place in north american that millions of
viewers cant pinpoint?
What if that cave (which was in a slight valley) was then covered with a
nuclear power plant?
Eric: owned by a meglomaniac who has a gay assistant?
What if over all those years, radiation was leaking into Happy's prison?
Of course, the old letch is far too resilient for it to have too much of a
lasting effect on him... though those first few moments after he awakens...
Sarah: its Mr. Burns! oh no.
Eric: oh shut up or i'll release the robotic richard simmons.
Sarah: uhh... ohkay
Oh, one last note, I don't know where I got it from, but in my head (when I
picture him speaking) Happosai's expression of contentment/happiness is
"Sweeto" though I'm totally clueless as to WHY I think that... just bear with
me on that point.
Sarah: Sweeto? Sweeto?
Eric: Sweeto?
Ok, that's enough with the "What if?" let's get on to the fic, already.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sarah: I bet you like the underscores better.
Eric: sure did.
Lawn Mower Productions is proud to present:
Saturday Morning Ryouga
A fanfic based on Takahshi's Ranma �
Chapter 1(?):
Ryouga Hibki crouched on top of a conveniently located (and, even
more conveniently, thick, that boy is heavy!) telephone pole as he vainly
Sarah: and in this corner, weighing in at 300 lbs...
surveyed the darkening horizon one last time for any sign of the tower that
would tell him he was nearing Tokyo, and thus the Tendo Dojo and the warm bed
and bosom of his beloved Akane Tendo.
Eric: I have a headache from wading through that sentence.
Sarah: Humm Ryouga is making an appearance in this one. Boy you think
he might feel some remorse about lying to Akane.
At the thought of Akane's bosom, Ryouga's face took on a strange
expression, ie. not a nose bleed. Which was rather amazing considering that
this was Ryouga and the thought concerned feminine anatomy. In fact, he
didn't feel at all inclined to have any reaction other than a goofy grin.
Sarah: dont you have that same goofy grin when Amber calls you?
Eric: Quiet you!
Actually he just had one thought on the whole thing: "Sweeto!"
Sarah: Sweeto? Sweeto?
Eric: Sweeto?
Wait a minute! Where did that come from?
Eric: how did you read my mind?
Anyway, he was starting to not feel so well. His arm was still
bothering him from where that... THING had gotten a bite out of him.
Sarah: you sort of threw this at us.
Now he was starting to feel faintly dizzy. Maybe he shouldn't have
eaten that batch of berries he found. Maybe he shouldn't have skipped
Sarah: you know the one with the dancing faeries in it.
sleeping last night because he thought he saw Tokyo in the distance (it was
Paris, just don't ask). Maybe he should get down from this perch
Sarah: please can't we ask?
Eric: oh shut up you're disrupting the flow.
Sarah: what are you going to do if i dont? Release the dogs? Or the
bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths that shoot bees when they
bark?
before he
has no choice in the matter..
Sarah: just end with one period.
***
She stood on the street corner cursing her bad luck. Of all things,
letting the time get away from her like that and letting the sun set before
she left work.
Sarah: this sentence sounds odd.
Eric: you might want to rearrange and restructure it somehow. I can't
make any suggestions since i'm not sure what you are trying to get
across.
Now it was starting to get dark, and even in a
moderately
sized city like this, it was hard to find a cab this late, and it was
dangerous to walk the streets alone.
Sarah: unless you can power blast someone. *glows green for emphasis*
Eric: I thought the sun set wouldn't it be dark then?
Unfortunately, that's exactly what she was about to have to do.
Sarah: hard to find a cab (depending on the time of year) before 9pm?
With a final sigh, she set off down the street in the direction of
her tiny apartment, not even noticing the shadow that detached itself from its
brothers to follow her.
Sarah: Mr. Shadow meet your brother Mr. Shadow.
Eric: dont you have something better to do?
Sarah: I could go kill your cubicle again.
***
Ryouga landed lightly beside the pole but wobbled a bit as tried to
walk.
"Damn it, Ryouga, pull yourself together!" he thought. "How are you
ever going to get back into the warm bed... and loving arms... and soft
cleavage... oh, sweeto!"
Eric: Sweeto?
Sarah: Sweeto? Sweeto?
Eric: I see one scratch by Happy and you start to become like him...
unless Ryouga is a bigger pervert then i originally thought.
Ryouga punched himself in the side of the head. "Where is that
coming from?"
Eric: are you sure you're not reading my mind.
Sarah: I am!
Eric: you're in my mind so shut up.
Suddenly, the uncertainty leaves Ryouga's stance and he senses that
he must be somewhere else, soon. He moved off in a seemingly random
direction, but with directness and purpose... In short, not in a Ryouga like
fashion at all.
Sarah: woah wait careful you slipped into present tense there.
Almost as an after thought, he pulled a off bandana and retied
Sarah: drop the almost... bandanna and tied it
it
around his face, the knot just under his nose. There was something soft and
silky out there that was going to need his help.
Eric: mmmmmm.... soft and silky... mmm
Sarah: Snap out of it loser boy *power blasta Eric into a nearby wall*
***
"Come on, lady, hand it over!" the menacing voice demanded.
The poor victim slipped off her watch with shaking hands and held it
out to her assailant. All she could see of him is the knife, which
Sarah: all she could make out was the knife or all she could see of him
was the knife.
glinted
dully in the hazy glow of city lights. Bathed in the shadows of the alley,
the woman prayed that he had all he wanted, her purse, her watch, her
necklace. Prayed quite hard.
Unfortunately... "Get down on the ground! Now!" The knife
Eric: well she did want to pray.
Sarah: oh thats just rude... i should power blast you again for that
one.
wavered,
threateningly, and the woman quickly obeyed, dropping to the filthy ground on
her stomach.
"Heh, heh... *OOOFFFFF*" There was a dull thud and a shape landed
Sarah: you're big on dull.. like a dull thud and dully gleaming knife.
beside the prone woman, who was too frightened to look up.
A minute or two passed before a different voice says, "Umm...
Sarah: a different voice said,
ma'am,
you can get up now."
Warily, the young lady looked up to see that the dark shape beside
her was her former assailant, now unconscious. Further exploration of her
surroundings yielded more information, as well. A young man(?) in a yellow
tunic and black leggings wearing a bulging backpack and an umbrella was
standing at the mouth of the alley. She couldn't be sure if he was,
Eric: stood at the mouth
after
all, a he, because of the cloth that obscured most of his face.
Sarah: she's just guessing?
"What's a pretty young thing like you doing walking alone this late?
Eric: out of the fire?
Where do you live? I had better walk you back to your place... I mean, there
may be more hooligans like this one," the young man continued, gesturing at
the fallen mugger, "waiting to get their hands on your beautiful body."
He helped her to her feet, retrieved her belongings, and followed her
as she began to stumble toward home in a daze.
Sarah: ahh yes i'd trust a guy who is undressing me with his eyes.
especially one who referred to me as a thing and then later commented on
my beatiful body. he probably just wanted to steal my underwear or
seomthing.
Eric: ...
***
Meanwhile, Ryouga was lost in thought, "Man, what's WRONG with me, I
mean just last week I would have been on the ground with blood spurting from
my face at the meer sight of a woman like this... especially one with such
heaving bosoms and whose skirt is way too short and... oh..." Unable
Eric: *faints*
Sarah: hummm... *pokes him* well someone has to act like Ryouga.
to stop
himself, Ryouga broke into gleeful laughter, which, this being Ryouga, still
managed to sound embarrassed.
Sarah: I thought it was gleeful.
The woman turned to look at him, still unsteady on her feet. "What's
wrong?"
Sarah: catch a clue lady! he's wacko!
Ryouga inwardly berated himself, "Uh, nothing..."
Sarah: oh no nothing, i'm just having some seriously deranged thoughts
and wondering where they are coming from.
Eric: *regaining conciousness* Whats been happening.
Sarah: Ryouga's plotting on stealing this womans underwear.
Eric: has he said sweeto lately?
Sarah: Sweeto? Sweeto?
"Oh," was the best reply the woman could think of, her wits having
been stretched a little beyond their end this night.
Soon enough, they arrived at the lower-middle class apartment
Sarah: ahh confirmation of social class and standing.
building where the woman resided and she turned to him. "Thank you for your
help... I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't come along..."
the woman shuddered. "Um... if you would like to come inside for tea or
something, I'd love to have you."
Sarah: oh sure invite some wacko in who takes and laughs for no
particular reason.
Ryouga warred with himself over the invitation of a young...
beautiful... grateful... . but, eventually, his desire for Akane won out.
Eric: wow such devotion to impure thoughts of Akane.
"Um... no, gotta be going... could you just point me in the direction of
Tokyo?"
The woman proceeded to inform him that it was 40 miles due north
and gave him some rough directions (like they would help). That finished,
Ryouga stepped forward, gave the woman a hug and stepped away.
Eric: copping a cheap feel!
"Thanks for the directions, and be more careful in the future!" And
with that he sprang away to the roof tops.
Sarah: damn he didnt steal her underwear!
***
urk, I've got to send it as two messages because Eudora is getting really
wierd on me... oh, well, the next is coming immediately after I send this one
Tim Williams
twillia4@utk.edu rogerl@usit.net
Sarah: not a bad premise but you have to be careful on your tenses you
waver somewhat between them.
Eric: also you have a variety of run on and umm awkward sentences that
dont make that much sense.
Sarah: The girl in the story deserves to be robbed, since she appears to
be a bit clueless unless...
Eric: humm is it one of the main characters? this is an alternate
universe.
Sarah: or was she so unimportant that you didnt give us her name.
Eric: by the way... Sweeto?
Sarah: Sweeto? Sweeto?