Ok, here it goes, my first shot at a fan fic, second edition :) I hope 
it doesn't cause you too much pain.
 
*******standard disclaimer here, think: This stuff belongs to Rumiko Takahshi 
and a teaming horde of lawyers, so please don't sue me, it's not worth it****
 
"What if?" A common enough question, but it seems to have so many variations  
that it is still quite popular... Well, I have a couple "What if?"s of my
own.

What if Genma and Soun had chosen a different cave in which to imprison 
Happosai? 

What if that cave (which was in a slight valley) was then covered with a 
nuclear power plant?

What if over all those years, radiation was leaking into Happy's prison?

Of course, the old letch is far too resilient for it to have too much of a 
lasting effect on him... though those first few moments after he awakens... 

Oh, one last note, I don't know where I got it from, but in my head (when I 
picture him speaking) Happosai's expression of contentment/happiness is 
"Sweeto" though I'm totally clueless as to WHY I think that... just bear with 
me on that point.

Ok, that's enough with the "What if?" let's get on to the fic, already.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
                  Lawn Mower Productions is proud to present:


                            Saturday Morning Ryouga
                       
                      A fanfic based on Takahshi's Ranma «
                    
                                 
Chapter 1(?):

        Ryouga Hibki crouched on top of a conveniently located (and, even 
more conveniently, thick, that boy is heavy!) telephone pole as he vainly 
surveyed the darkening horizon one last time for any sign of the tower that 
would tell him he was nearing Tokyo, and thus the Tendo Dojo and the warm bed 
and bosom of his beloved Akane Tendo.
        At the thought of Akane's bosom, Ryouga's face took on a strange 
expression, ie. not a nose bleed.  Which was rather amazing considering that 
this was Ryouga and the thought concerned feminine anatomy.  In fact, he 
didn't feel at all inclined to have any reaction other than a goofy grin. 
Actually he just had one thought on the whole thing: "Sweeto!"
        Wait a minute! Where did that come from?  
        Anyway, he was starting to not feel so well.  His arm was still 
bothering him from where that... THING had gotten a bite out of him. 
        Now he was starting to feel faintly dizzy.  Maybe he shouldn't have 
eaten that batch of berries he found.  Maybe he shouldn't have skipped 
sleeping last night because he thought he saw Tokyo in the distance (it was 
Paris, just don't ask).  Maybe he should get down from this perch before he 
has no choice in the matter..

                                   ***
 
        She stood on the street corner cursing her bad luck.  Of all things, 
letting the time get away from her like that and letting the sun set before 
she left work.  Now it was starting to get dark, and even in a moderately 
sized city like this, it was hard to find a cab this late, and it was 
dangerous to walk the streets alone.
        Unfortunately,  that's exactly what she was about to have to do.
        With a final sigh, she set off down the street in the direction of 
her tiny apartment, not even noticing the shadow that detached itself from its 
brothers to follow her.

                                   ***
 
        Ryouga landed lightly beside the pole but wobbled a bit as tried to 
walk.
        "Damn it, Ryouga, pull yourself together!" he thought.  "How are you 
ever going to get back into the warm bed... and loving arms... and soft 
cleavage... oh, sweeto!"
        Ryouga punched himself in the side of the head.  "Where is that 
coming from?"
        Suddenly, the uncertainty leaves Ryouga's stance and he senses that 
he must be somewhere else, soon.  He moved off in a seemingly random 
direction, but with directness and purpose... In short, not in a Ryouga like 
fashion at all.
        Almost as an after thought, he pulled a off bandana and retied it 
around his face, the knot just under his nose. There was something soft and 
silky out there that was going to need his help.

                                   ***
 
        "Come on, lady, hand it over!" the menacing voice demanded.
        The poor victim slipped off her watch with shaking hands and held it 
out to her assailant. All she could see of him is the knife, which glinted 
dully in the hazy glow of city lights.  Bathed in the shadows of the alley, 
the woman prayed that he had all he wanted, her purse, her watch, her 
necklace.  Prayed quite hard.
        Unfortunately... "Get down on the ground! Now!" The knife wavered, 
threateningly, and the woman quickly obeyed, dropping to the filthy ground on 
her stomach.
        "Heh, heh... *OOOFFFFF*" There was a dull thud and a shape landed 
beside the prone woman, who was too frightened to look up.        
        A minute or two passed before a different voice says, "Umm... ma'am, 
you can get up now."
        Warily, the young lady looked up to see that the dark shape beside 
her was her former assailant, now unconscious.  Further exploration of her 
surroundings yielded more information, as well.  A young man(?) in a yellow 
tunic and black leggings wearing a bulging backpack and an umbrella was 
standing at the mouth of the alley.  She couldn't be sure if he was, after 
all, a he, because of the cloth that obscured most of his face.           
        "What's a pretty young thing like you doing walking alone this late?  
Where do you live? I had better walk you back to your place... I mean, there 
may be more hooligans like this one," the young man continued, gesturing at 
the fallen mugger, "waiting to get their hands on your beautiful body."
        He helped her to her feet, retrieved her belongings, and followed her 
as she began to stumble toward home in a daze.
 
                                   ***
 
        Meanwhile, Ryouga was lost in thought, "Man, what's WRONG with me, I 
mean just last week I would have been on the ground with blood spurting from 
my face at the meer sight of a woman like this... especially one with such 
heaving bosoms and whose skirt is way too short and... oh..." Unable to stop 
himself, Ryouga broke into gleeful laughter, which, this being Ryouga, still
managed to sound embarrassed.
        The woman turned to look at him, still unsteady on her feet. "What's 
wrong?"
        Ryouga inwardly berated himself, "Uh, nothing..."
        "Oh," was the best reply the woman could think of, her wits having 
been stretched a little beyond their end this night.
        Soon enough, they arrived at the lower-middle class apartment 
building where the woman resided and she turned to him.  "Thank you for your 
help... I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't come along..." 
the woman shuddered.  "Um... if you would like to come inside for tea or 
something, I'd love to have you."
        Ryouga warred with himself over the invitation of a young... 
beautiful... grateful... . but, eventually, his desire for Akane won out.  
"Um... no, gotta be going... could you just point me in the direction of 
Tokyo?"
        The woman proceeded to inform him that it was 40 miles due north 
and gave him some rough directions (like they would help).  That finished, 
Ryouga stepped forward, gave the woman a hug and stepped away.
        "Thanks for the directions, and be more careful in the future!" And 
with that he sprang away to the roof tops. 
 
                                    ***

urk, I've got to send it as two messages because Eudora is getting really 
wierd on me... oh, well, the next is coming immediately after I send this one
Tim Williams

twillia4@utk.edu     rogerl@usit.net