Eric Adams Presents
Insignificant Part III - Redepmtion

	Ryouga was confused and lost.  Both were not uncommon 
states for him to be in but this felt some how different.  
He knew someone being attacked when he saw it and it had 
been his duty as a martial artist to intervene.  However, 
he had never suspected that he might be rescuing Ukyou 
Kuonji. Her reaction to seeing him had not been one of 
gratitude as he might have expected after rescuing her; 
instead it was of horror.
	She had run off, leaving him with no answers.  "Now 
what was that all about?"  He asked of the night.
	"It's a good thing you stepped in when you did, 
otherwise I would have had to have really hurt the guy," 
said a voice from the shadows.  
	Ryouga looked suspiciously at the shadow, "Oh really? 
Is that why you are hidden in the shadows?"
	Koji stepped into view and shrugged, "I was waiting 
for the right time to do something.  Besides I was unsure 
if she wasn't actually into it."
	Koji found himself lifted off the ground by a very 
angry looking fang toothed boy.  "Ulp" he managed to squeak 
out, "you mean you weren't after the same thing?"
	Ryouga dragged him very close to his face, "What do 
you mean by that?"
	Scared to out of his wits by Ryouga, Koji told the 
lost boy everything he knew about Ukyou.

	Ukyou Kuonji ran as fast she could through the 
crowded streets of downtown Tokyo.  Her heart pounding, she 
looked behind her to make sure that Ryouga had not 
followed.  As far as she could tell, he was not behind her, 
but she continued running to make sure.
	When she was far enough away, she stopped and caught 
her breath.  She had run far enough to allow Ryouga's sense 
of direction to lead him astray.
	She sat down on the bench at a nearby bus stop and 
blinked furiously, fighting back the tears that she felt 
threatening to overwhelm her.  She cursed herself for being 
stupid enough to have been caught in such a situation and 
her inability to regain control.  The man, whoever he was, 
should never have been able to manhandle her so easily.  
She had ten years of martial arts training at her disposal.  
She had fought Shampoo to a standstill and had once stood 
her ground against Ryouga.  She was not a weakling.  But in 
that single moment of need and fear her training had failed 
her.
	She understood and accepted failure.  It was expected 
and had often been delivered.  If there was a constant in 
her life that she could rely on without question, it was 
her sense of failure. It was the only thing she accepted 
from herself.
	She flinched as a stranger sat down next to her and 
smiled in her direction, before pulling out a newspaper.  
Ukyou pulled her knees up to her chin and sat trying to 
fight back her tears.
	What made matters worse was that she had been saved 
by Ryouga.  He would be sure to tell someone else and it 
would only be a matter of time before Ranma found out what 
has been happening and try to intervene.
	Suddenly, a window opened in her mind.  If Ranma felt 
it was necessary to protect her he may just allow himself 
to fall in love with her.  It happened in the movies and it 
could happen to her.
	Instantly, another part of her mind shut the thought 
down.  She had been living in his shadow far too long.  She 
had to take a stand against him and not let him control her 
life or make her decisions any longer - she needed to 
regain a measure of control over her own destiny.
	She wiped at the tears in her eyes, a dull anger 
slowly replacing her despair.  All of her life she had let 
him have control.  Decisions that should have been hers to 
make were robbed from her at an early age.  In another life 
she may never have met him or even fallen in love with him.  
In another, better life. 
	As the dull anger slowly filled her she realized she 
wanted Ranma to come. She had to face him and let him know 
that he no longer had control of her life.  

	Ryouga Hibiki wandered the streets of Tokyo trying to 
find the Tendo Dojo.  It was late, but there were still 
people on the street that he could ask for directions.  
Koji's revelations about Ukyou swam in his head.  The story 
Koji spun about her had seemed far-fetched but the look in 
her eyes when she saw Ryouga in part confirmed Koji's 
story.  Also, Koji's two friends had related the same tale.
	Ryouga was unsure of how to proceed.  He did not 
really consider Ukyou that close a friend but he could not 
deny that she was an acquaintance and that it was possible 
she needed help.  However, he had no idea how to help her.  
He hardly knew her. He thought Ranma and Akane might be 
able and more willing to help.
	As usual finding the Tendo Dojo proved a daunting 
task but by morning he stood at the front gates.  For a 
second, he considered jumping over and attacking Ranma - 
just for old time's sake - but considering the weight of 
the news he carried, he opted for knocking at the door.

	Ukyou had a lot to prepare before Ranma appeared.  
She gave him no more than a day.  Ryouga could be very 
persistent when he had his mind set on a goal.  She assumed 
that he had reached the Tendo's by this morning and Ranma 
would be on his way by the afternoon.  That was considering 
that Ryouga had gone to Ranma.  Her coming confrontation 
relied on Ryouga acting the way she expected him to.
	Ukyou contacted Nabiki and told her of her plan and 
Nabiki agreed to do what she could but demanded nearly 
double her usual fee for the secrecy that Ukyou demanded.  
Ukyou had done her best to bargain but Nabiki would not 
budge.  
	"You're asking me to withhold information from my 
brother-in-law." Nabiki had argued.  
	In the end Ukyou ended up paying the outrageous fee 
because she knew Nabiki would be true to her word and get 
her what she needed.  She had used Nabiki as a consultant 
before on various contracts and business dealings and 
understood that Nabiki was amongst the best and well worth 
the money.
	She opened up the restaurant in the morning, 
hurriedly serving patrons and shooing them out as soon as 
they were done eating.  She charged only half price for her 
okonomiyaki and the word quickly spread.  That morning she 
did more business than she had done in the past month.
	Amazingly, Ukyou was in good spirits.  She smiled at 
her customers and her eyes shone with life and spirit.  
Occasionally, she glanced at the mirror she had hung up 
just to confirm she still existed.  She was looking forward 
to the coming confrontation.
	Around noon, she closed down the restaurant, kicking 
the last of the patrons out.  She waited downstairs, at the 
grill, her head in her hands, a wide grin on her face and 
her eyes focused on the door before her.  The quiet sounds 
of Nerima and the restaurant filled her with unease and she 
went upstairs to contemplate herself on her bed.  
	Lying on her bed she stared at the mirror above her 
and tried to assuage her fears.  She worried that Ranma 
would not come.  She needed this confrontation, she needed 
to face Ranma one last time.    She had convinced herself 
that a confrontation with Ranma would allow her to heal.
	A part of her chided that he would not come, that she 
was that unimportant to him and that same part also 
whispered that she was wrong, that she did not need to face 
Ranma or seek his approval.  The choice was up to her and 
all she had to do was make it.  She refused to listen; her 
dull anger and calm surety were in control and she felt 
that her history of failure would end this afternoon.
	As she stared at herself in the mirror she lost track 
of time.  She practiced her smile, alternatively switching 
between letting the smile shine in her eyes and letting her 
eyes remain empty and dispassionate.  Under this close of 
study she could understand how both could be appealing.  
When she let the smile shine in her eyes she was pretty and 
even beautiful.  With her eyes empty and dark she was more 
sexually appealing, an easy toy to be molded and 
controlled.
	By four o'clock she began to feel impatient and 
practiced what she wanted to say to Ranma.  She went over 
the words in her mind and refined them to a cutting edge.  
She imagined his reactions to her anger and then formed her 
responses.  Within two hours she had the whole conversation 
mapped out.
	By six o'clock she began to despair of him arriving.  
She decided that if he failed to show tonight she would go 
out on the town and let as many who wanted have her.   
Maybe if enough men fucked her, Ranma might take her 
seriously.  Inwardly she cringed at the thought, but her 
body began to feel hot at the thought of sex and she ached 
to masturbate.  The thought of Ranma arriving in the middle 
of the act held her back.
	By seven o'clock she decided to move to the mirror at 
her dresser.  She stared closely at herself and debated 
putting on make up. She decided against it, since Ranma had 
commented that her beauty was natural.  She wanted him to 
see her as he found her most desirable.   Finally, she 
decided that she would remove her split ends and proceeded 
to pluck each one out, strand by strand.
	By eight o'clock her despair threatened to overwhelm 
her, her head aching, dried blood on her scalp and face, 
anger and grief took a hold of her and she shattered every 
mirror in her room except for the one over her bed.  She 
cut her hands several times on the broken shards and the 
pain was almost unbearable.  Biting back screams of 
frustration, she glanced at the hundreds of shards around 
her and saw the teary eyed, bleeding visage of the person 
she had grown to hate.  Unable to control her tears any 
longer, she collapsed to her knees, shut her eyes and let 
out a wracking sob.
	Downstairs, unheard, there was a tentative knock on 
the door.

	The sun was setting and it cast long shadows across 
Nerima.  In Ukyou's room the sun fell low enough in the 
horizon to allow itself to shine onto the scattered shards 
on the floor and the broken frames.  Instantly, the mirrors 
flared with white light and for a second the whole room 
erupted in brilliance.
	Caught in the middle of the conflagration, Ukyou was 
nearly blinded.  She screamed and threw her hands up to her 
eyes.  Trying to blot out the bright light before it seared 
her eyes.  Her attempts were futile and the light too 
bright.  
	As quickly as it happened, the light blinked out.  
The sun dipped further towards the horizon.  Within a 
moment the light faded and Ukyou's room was shrouded in 
shadows.  
	Blinking furiously trying to regain her eyesight, 
Ukyou stood up and staggered into the hallway, where she 
heard the soft knocking downstairs.  Half blinded, her hair 
strewn haphazardly about her head, bleeding from cuts on 
her hands and knees, Ukyou went downstairs to face Ranma.

	She opened the door slowly, no longer sure of what 
she wanted to say.  Ranma stood there and behind him - 
Akane. She had not anticipated Akane's presence and it made 
her feel uneasy.  Silently, she stood aside and let the two 
in.
	The two entered the restaurant with out a word, 
blinking rapidly to adjust to the darkness.  The only light 
was from the stairwell and Ukyou stood with her back to it.
	"Ranma," she said simply.  Her heart pounded in her 
chest and she was suddenly ashamed of the way she looked, 
wanting to hide before he noticed.
	"Ucchan-" he began but she cut him off.
	"Call me Ukyou," she said harshly.  She turned and walked 
to stand behind her grill.  In front of her all she could 
make out was a purple blur and the pain in her knees and 
arms was becoming unbearable, making it hard to concentrate.
	Ranma walked up to the counter and sat down on a 
chair, Akane stood behind him. "Ukyou," he began again,  "I 
talked to Ryouga today."
	"Did you?"  Ukyou tried to see past the blur in front 
of her.  "And what did he have to say?"
	Silence filled the room and no one spoke, Ukyou tried 
to focus her eyes.  The harder she blinked the clearer the 
images before her seemed to grow.  As her eyes began to 
grow accustomed to the light she noticed that Akane was 
moving along the wall in search of a light switch.  She 
barely had time to react before the soft white light of the 
restaurant fluorescents sprang to life. 
	Akane gasped when she saw Ukyou; blood on her face, 
cuts on her hands, and her eyes tear stained.  "Ukyou, 
what's happened to you?" she asked.
	"God, Ukyou are you okay?"  Ranma sprung over the 
counter and noticed the cuts on her knees as well.  "We 
have to get you to a hospital or something."
	"No." Ukyou flinched away from his touch, "No, don't 
you touch me.  Don't you ever touch me."  Her eyes flared 
with anger and she jumped away from him causing the pain in 
her knees to erupt.  She caught herself on the counter but 
nearly collapsed anyway.
	"But Ukyou, you're hurt."  He stepped closer and she 
flinched backwards. Fearing that she may do something more 
to hurt herself he stepped back again. 
	"This," she gestured to herself, "is nothing, nothing 
compared to what you've done to me."  She took a step 
towards him.  "Nothing compared to how I feel inside or how 
I hurt.  You promised me, you promised to take care of me 
always.
	"Is this how you keep your promises?"  Her hand 
reached out and grabbed him by his shirt, driving some of 
the shards deeper into her skin.  "I should kill you.  I 
want to kill you; I want you to feel how I feel.  I want 
you to feel dead."  Before he could move or react she had 
one of her mini spatulas by his throat.
	"You gave me hope and then you robbed me of my 
dreams." She liked the look of fear in his eyes and she 
smiled wickedly, "You ruined my childhood, you made me fall 
in love with you and then you left me.  I was there for you 
when you needed me, I stood by you when you needed a friend 
and you left me." Her eyes flashed with anger and she drove 
her spatula deeper, breaking his skin and causing blood to 
start seeping out.
	Akane grabbed gently on to Ukyou's hand, "Please 
stop." She appealed, though she held Ukyou's hand she did 
not place any pressure to make her move it away.
	Ukyou looked up at Akane's pleading eyes, relishing 
in the fear she saw in them.  Her eyes snapped back once 
more to focus on Ranma and she noticed that there was 
uncertainty in them but the fear was no longer present.  Making no 
move to release her hold on Ranma or move the spatulas 
Ukyou sought confirmation from her mirror.
	She saw herself frightened and scared holding the man 
she had often claimed to love at knifepoint.  Blood stained 
her hands and face and her eyes looked wild and unfocused.  
She looked insane and she hated herself; the foolish girl 
who had always been alone.
	That thought locked in her mind; she had always been 
alone, stood alone and survived with no help from anyone 
she might have called a friend.  She had strengths she had 
never considered.  She stared at herself in the mirror, and 
calmness descended on her.  She stood on a precipice she 
could fall or survive and she could rely on no one but 
herself. 
	She gave herself one more glance in the mirror, the looked
back at Ranma and let him go. "Get out," she whispered softly.
	"Ukyou," Ranma started towards her, but Akane grabbed 
his arm and started to pull him out of the restaurant.
	Ukyou stepped closer to Akane and was ashamed to see 
her flinch. "You take good care of him, because if you 
don't then I will" she whispered in Akane's ear.
	"He came here because he was worried about you," 
Akane replied with resentment and anger in her voice.
	"I know, but it doesn't help the pain." Ukyou paused, 
then continued, "But for what its worth, thank you."
	Akane nodded sharply and then she and Ranma were 
gone.
	Ukyou's joints ached in pain as she climbed the 
stairs, sat down in her bathtub and began the painful task 
of removing the shards of glass from her skin.

	Over the next week Ukyou began the thankless job of 
cleaning up the restaurant.  Everyday she had sales and 
sold her Okonomiyaki for half price.  Word had spread 
quickly that Ucchan's was going out of business and 
everyone was rushing in to take advantage of the sale.  
Ukyou stayed open primarily during the lunch hours. 
	As promised, Nabiki had gotten her a more than fair 
offer from a potential buyer and Ukyou, anxious to sell, 
had quickly accepted. 
	Throughout the day Ukyou left the door to her 
restaurant open and often spent many hours sitting on the 
porch step waiting and scanning the passing crowds for a 
familiar face.  She --

	Ukyou stopped and pursed her lips.  She tapped her 
pencil thoughtfully on the tab of paper before her.  Beside 
her was a small stack of her writings; her story.  She 
glanced out the door when she thought she heard someone 
approaching but instead of the one she was waiting for, a 
couple passed by.
	Sighing, she stood up and stretched.  Writing was 
hard for her, she had never tried so hard to put her 
feeling's down in words much less write them out in story 
fashion.  It had proved to be a cathartic and exhausting 
experience.  Her hands and knees were still wrapped in 
gauze and when she had first picked up the pencil two weeks 
ago it had hurt to hold it.  
	The lights in the restaurant were low, and her eyes 
hurt from the strain of writing.  She ran her fingers 
through her hair again and marveled at how much softer it 
felt short.  A week ago, she had gone to the stylist and 
asked to have her hair cut to her shoulders.  The stylist 
had done an excellent job and the short bob haircut she now 
sported looked rather appealing.  At least she thought so, 
but she had not sought anyone else's opinion.
	She sat back down at the table, wincing slightly at 
the pain in her knees, and picked up her pencil. She had 
tonight to finish the story because tomorrow she would be 
leaving hopefully putting Nerima and all its heartache, 
behind her.

	-- she -- I decided to leave Nerima for a variety of 
reasons.  That it hurt to stay here, though, was my primary 
reason.  
	It was not an easy decision I came to, a part of me 
did not truly want to leave.  I still wanted to believe in 
Ranma's love, but when I had held him in my grasp I had 
come to a certain realization.  The choices that I had so 
long blamed on others had ultimately belonged to me.  
	I had let Ranma make those choices for me and I hated 
him for it when the blame rested solely on me.  I choose 
the easy path for so long allowing others to make my 
choices instead of facing the more difficult ones on my 
own.  I first hid behind my anger and my hatred, and then I 
hid behind my love rather than face the consequences of how 
I had decided to live my life.
	I lost someone throughout all this, though. Someone 
who might have helped me hold my head high, someone who 
might have allowed me to see reason.  I had grown to hate 
that person and turned my back without giving her a chance.  
	I don't know where I lost myself, but I think it may 
have been almost ten years ago. Right now I need to accept 
myself and I need to find out who I am.  If I can accept 
these things, if I can someday wake up and look at myself 
in the mirror without hating myself, then maybe I can learn 
to love someone else.

	Ukyou put down the pen.  It wasn't a good ending but 
it was an ending nevertheless.  It was an ending she could 
accept and one rife with possibility.  
	Outside she heard the sounds of the night and 
relaxed.  It was an ending she could live with.  Leaning 
back in her chair she closed her eyes and fell asleep with 
a smile on her face.

	The next morning, she cleaned out the last of her 
personal belongings.  Nabiki had found her a decent storage 
location for the items that were to big for her too carry.  
She would contact Nabiki and have her deliver those items 
when she knew where she would settle down.  
	That morning, she had handed over the keys to the new 
owner, who had a crazy idea of selling Mexican food.  
	Carrying only a slight backpack, she had walked towards the 
park.  She had been waiting a month and Ryouga still had 
not shown up, but she would give him till the end of the 
day before she went on.
	She ate the meal she had prepared for lunch silently, 
listening to the birds and the sounds of summer.  In the 
distance, she thought she saw someone walking along a fence 
but did not have the courage yet to find out if it was who 
she thought.
	Quietly, she finished her meal and started packing up 
her belongings.  Looking up suddenly, she noticed Ryouga 
standing across the park staring at her.  Holding her 
breath, she waved him over.
	He approached tentatively.  
	When he was close she took his hand.  "Ryouga," she 
began, "thanks."  She stood on her toes and kissed him 
lightly on the cheek.
	His nose spurted blood and he promptly fainted.
	"Now there's a reaction I've never had happen." She 
smiled down at his prostate form, "must be my hair."
	She knelt down beside him, wincing at the pain in her 
knees, and waited for him to come to. 
	Within a few minutes his eyes fluttered open and he 
looked up at her shock on his face.  "Ukyou," he started, 
"what happened to your hair?"
	"I got it cut silly." She smiled and fluffed the back 
of it with her hand. "Do you like it?"
	Ryouga nodded, "It makes you look pretty."
	She blushed and turned away.  Reaching into her bag 
she produced another sandwich that she had made just for 
this occasion.  "I thought you might be hungry," she said 
as she handed it to him.  "Anyway, thanks."
	He took it from her, "For what?"
	"For saving me you idiot."  She sighed, her heart 
racing and her thoughts in turmoil.  She was excited that 
fate had brought the two of them together on the day she 
would be leaving Nerima behind.
	"Oh, well it was my duty -"
	"Just shut up and say you're welcome." She slapped 
him playfully on the shoulder.
	"You're welcome," he replied simply and tore into his 
sandwich. 
	She sat silently by his side her eyes focused on the 
horizon.  She took a deep breath.  "Ryouga, do you ever get 
lonely on your trips?"
	"Sometimes, but its amazing what you can see out 
there."  Ryouga gestured with his arm indicating the 
horizon.  "I get to sight see a lot, I've been places that 
so many people here never get to see.   I've seen the Great 
Lakes, and the Lover Volcanoes in Mexico.  I've taken a 
ride in the canals of Venice and walked up the Loire Valley 
in France.  Sometimes I get lonely and sometimes hate 
consumes me, but truthfully, sometimes I would never give 
it up.  Besides, it makes it worthwhile when you run into 
friends."
	This was a side of Ryouga that Ukyou had never 
noticed before, she had never considered that he might have 
appreciation for the things he had witnessed.  "So have you 
given up your vendetta against Ranma?"
	He looked at her curiously, "Yeah, well, after he 
married Akane, it seemed kinda pointless.  I mean I always 
screamed about her wellbeing and stuff, but she did chose 
him and if I respect her at all, I should accept her 
choices."
	Ukyou kept her question about how P-Chan fit into his 
curious notion of respect silent.
	"But yeah, I've stopped hating Ranma.  You can only 
hate for so long, I suppose." He stopped and took another 
bite of his sandwich.
	"Ryouga?  Maybe, if you get lonely and stuff, maybe 
you and me we could -" Ukyou struggled with the words she 
was about to say next.  She had considered this for a 
while.  She wanted to ask him if she could go with him.  
She didn't think he would turn her away and she didn't 
particular want to be alone.  She looked at him eating his 
sandwich and staring at the horizon.  She ached to fall in 
love with him.
	She opened her mouth to speak again and then thought 
better of it.  It was an easy trap to fall into, she could 
replace her ache for Ranma with Ryouga.  But she realized 
he deserved better and more importantly she deserved 
honesty to herself.  Sighing she started again, "Maybe we 
can get together sometime."  There was always hope and 
Ryouga was a very nice guy.  If fate had intended them to 
be together there would be future chances, right now she 
just needed understanding.
	He swallowed hard and looked at her, "Do you mean 
like a date or something?"
	She smiled, "I don't know what I meant.  Lets find 
out if we ever actually see each other again."
	"Won't you be here in Nerima?" he asked.
	"Actually," Ukyou stood up, "I'm leaving today."
	"Where you heading?"
	"That’s the funny thing.  Up until last night I 
didn't really have a plan."  It was a small white lie but 
no sense in revealing her original plan to him.  "I had a 
dream with Shampoo in it, I mean she was just there in 
China, but I think I'm going to try to find her."
	"It seems odd to be chasing a dream.  I myself might 
crash tonight at the Tendo's or -" a pained look crossed 
his face, "Is it the Saotome Dojo now?"
	Ukyou shrugged, "Don't know, sugar, I haven't talked 
to Ranma in a month, and that wasn't a pleasant 
conversation."  She hoisted her backpack onto her 
shoulders.  "Anyway, some dreams are kinda vivid.  Besides 
I kind of miss that purple-haired bimbo.
	"Maybe I'll see you around." She gave Ryouga a quick 
hug.  She smiled when he tensed up and was afraid he might 
pass out.
	Ryouga quickly regained some of his composure, "Yeah, 
maybe some place we'll meet up or something."
	She smiled at him, letting it reach her eyes.  "Yeah, 
maybe."  She took his hand, smiled into his eyes then 
turned around and went to face her future.

-- 
"I always hated stories that ended poorly. I
always felt cheated.  But you can't feel cheated
forever.  And then she woke up...
I suppose there are worse endings."
--Rose Walker, Lost Hearts
http://www.erols.com/eda104/