Right, I'm finally done with the bastard Chapter 2, as well as doing a
little tweeking of Chapter 1. I appologize, but Real Life interviened and
delayed produciton. Enjoy this roast turkey, minna. :D
------------------------------ CUT HERE ------------------------------
wyrm@mail.utexas.edu JEFFERYSTR@rascal.guilford.edu
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
PROLOGUE
NERIMA DISTRICT, 2011 AD
------------------------
It was raining in Nerima. Not an uncommon occurrence, as this place
gets more rainfall in a day than the Amazon Basin does in a week. The
Jyusenkyo cursed stayed inside, not wishing to incur the enchantment's
wrath.
The past twenty years had brought many changes to this town, not
the least of which was the calming of the hottest couple in Nerima, Saotome
Ranma and Tendou Akane. In fact, they had cooled just enough to forge the
link of marriage.
This wasn't to say that their marriage was easy; it wasn't, not by
a long shot. Fights between the spouses erupted every day, sometimes every
hour. They had regular appointments with marriage counselors, but it didn't
seem to get any better. For the first five years, all of the couple's
rivals waited patiently for the eventual breakup which they "knew" would
happen. Ryouga, Ukyou and the Kunous egged them constantly, continually
challenging the marriage just as they had done the engagement.
The fated day never came, and eventually the rivals realized how
hopeless the breakup was. For better or worse, Ranma and Akane were
inexorably bound. How else could they stay together so long? Even Kodachi
realized this (after starting on a course of Prozac), and began her search
for a new love like the others.
One rival had not not participated in this war of love; Shampoo, to
the utter shock of all, had wished the couple the best of luck on their
marriage via letter, shortly after her disappearance.
Cologne closed the Nekohanten and moved back to China. Mousse
vanished about the same time as Shampoo. Everyone assumed they eloped;
Cologne was strangely silent about the details.
The Saotomes now have three children. Their marriage is resonably
stable, dispite many complaints from the neighbors.
Ryouga and Nabiki had also married after a shared experience that
they refuse to talk about. Their union brought forth their twelve-year-old
daughter, a Wunderkind. (Of course, the girl wasn't _born_ twelve. :)
Kunou was nabbed by Mariko; Kunou found her to be quite likable,
especially since she liked repeating some of his pontifications. They are
expecting this summer.
Ukyou fell for a hunk she met at college, and -- surprise,
surprise! -- it turned out to be none other than Gosunkugi Hikaru. After
High School, he started working out, which gave him confidence (and bulk)
when he entered college, making him big man on campus. There he met Ukyou
again for the first time, and the rest was history.
Kasumi's a no-brainer.
Now back to the present, the dark and stormy night. It's a cliche
that's so bad, it's good...and appropriate. Everyone was safely indoors on
this night, save one.
A pair of boots splashed in the rain as their owner scuffled along.
She was dressed head to toe in black leather studded with pins, chains and
patches of many kinds. Her tee said, "JO' MAMA!" which plastered to her
bosom. She stopped before the gate to the Saotome Dojo, pushing a lock of
her very dark (almost black) purple hair out of her face.
The woman stared longingly at the house beyond the gate,
remembering happier times. She shuttered as she remembered that those times
were long over. "Ranma..." the woman whispered, and the rain under her eyes
suddenly turned red for a second before being washed away...
Tj/Wyrm presents
A GAC Production
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
H U N T R E S S
By Thomas R Jefferys
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
With thanks to J. D. Farber
Ranma 1/2 and associated characters created by Takahashi Rumiko.
Vampire: the Masquerade, the World of Darkness and all that jazz created by
White Wolf Game Studios, HOWEVER....
I don't feel compelled to confine myself to a strictly canon World of
Darkness with strictly canon WoD critters. This is MY goddamn fic! Mark?
Phil? If you have a problem with this, bite me! On second thought... ;)
<Just kidding, guys!>
WARNING (SPECIFICALLY TO THE RED-THROATED ONE): Do not expect very much
humor in this. "Vampire: the Masquerade" is all about personal horror.
Being a vampire is not fun, so don't expect any of the usual horseplay of
the series. You'll get plenty of dry humor sold in large bags, though. If
you don't like darkness in your Ranma fanworks, just delete this fuckin'
fic and forget you ever saw it. You have been warned.
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
CHAPTER 1: Room and...
*DINGDONG*
"I'll get it!" came a well-used voice from the interior of the
house. A few footfalls later, a man wearing a white sleeveless Chinese
shirt and black pants combination stepped into the foyer. His black hair
was lightly dusted with the gray of age, but still braided into a pigtail.
"Who could it possibly be at _this_ unseemly hour?" Saotome Ranma mumbled.
The door slid open with a push and a squeak. /*Oil the door,*/ his
mind noted before turning attention to his visitor. "Come on in," he told
the figure. It stepped into the light, revealing itself to be female. She
was dressed in a pseudo-punk style, right down to the dark purple hair. At
least the style was normal; a simple ponytail running down her back. Her
skin was a little pale, he noted. Ranma remembered his manners and said,
"Good evening."
The guest smiled gently and returned the greeting noise, "Hello,
Ranma."
Ranma blinked. That voice seemed eerily familiar. "Do I know you?"
he asked, tentative.
"Yes," she answered simply, unshouldering her blue and ridiculously
damp knapsack. "At least, you should."
/*Uh oh, not another fiancee. That's the third one this month! I'm
gonna kill Pop!*/ He checked that thought as he appraised her, /*Not that I
would mind if I didn't already have Akane; she is kinda cute...purple
hair...cutesy voice...great figure...wait, purple hair?*/ His mind groused
over that particular fact. Then it clicked. "Shampoo?" he hazarded.
The smile cracked into a full grin. "Nihao!" she greeted again in
that perfectly preserved and cheerful voice, and promptly glomped him.
"AHH!!!! Get offa me!" Ranma yelped, squirming in her hug.
A slightly gray woman chose this moment to peek around the corner.
"Ranma, who is i--" Saotome Akane's question stopped dead, was buried, and
was survived by another, more angered question, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!
RANMA NO..." She pulled a well-worn mallet with the elvish runes
"Bakadring: the Fool Hammer" and charged. "...BAKAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"
"*geep!* Shampoo, leggo a' me!" Ranma screeched, not realizing that
he had been soaked enough from Shampoo's damp clothes to trigger his
change. His (now her) eyes bugged out comically as she watched the mallet
descend like bug approaches an oncoming windshield.
Suddenly, Shampoo switched the target of her glomp from Ranma to
Akane. "Nihao to you too!"
This completely interrupted the carnage about to take place. Akane
dropped the mallet...onto Ranma's foot. *MASH* "ITETETE!!!" howled
onna-Ranma, clutching at her wounded extremity, hopping all over the foyer.
Meanwhile, Akane's eyes grew as wide as saucers in shock at this woman
glomping her.
Shampoo drew back from Akane. "It's good to see you again. The
marriage going well?" she asked in coherent Japanese.
Ranma blinked out the tear in her eye, then answered as best she
could with a mashed foot, "As well as our engagement."
"Oh dear!" Shampoo giggled.
Akane shook herself out of her daze and turned to her husband/wife,
a very baffled look on her face. "Ranma, _who_ is this?"
"Forgot me already, Violent Pervert Girl?" Shampoo asked with a
beaming grin, making Akane's eyebrows shoot to the top of her forehead in
recognition.
"Shampoo?! Is that you?" Akane stammered, eyes sweeping up and down
over the Amazon beauty's form. "You're...You're...You're..."
"...using personal pronouns?" suggested Shampoo.
That abruptly interrupted Akane's train of thought, but it got her
out of her rut. "...young! Goodness, you haven't aged a day!" Shampoo
inwardly winced at that, but didn't let it show.
"You, on the other hand..." prodded the Amazon. Akane blushed,
grimacing with indignation. Three births had left her with a little more
fat than in her teens, but Mother Nature had partially compensated by
giving her some extra height. It was enough to almost hide the evidence of
motherhood. Almost. "Don't worry, Akane! It improves your looks!"
"Thanks. I think."
"So what brings you here?" Ranma asked.
"Um..." Shampoo shifted nervously. "I just arrived in town and I
don't have a place to stay. Would you mind...?" Her voice trailed off,
leaving her question unfinished but understood.
Ranma and Akane glanced at each other.
"She can take the guest room," Ranma suggested.
Akane scowled. "Ranma, this IS Shampoo we're talking about," she
said icily. "How can we be sure that she won't take another crack at you?
I'm still not completely convinced by that goodwill letter she sent us."
"That was twenty years ago, you jealous woman!" snipped the "man"
(so to speak) of the house.
"Who are you calling JEALOUS?!" Akane growled back, and drove Ranma
through the floorboards with Bakadring. Shampoo winced in sympathy of the
impact.
Ranma twitched, hands in the Takahashi Position #4. "Ow!" came the
murmur, then the confirmation that she was going to be all right,
"Kawaikune..."
/*And Andrew wonders why I'm tough enough to 'rough it' every
day...*/ Shampoo thought wryly. "Akane-san?"
Akane started at the honorific, and looked surprised at Shampoo
(and thus was distracted from tooling over Ranma again). "Akane-san, you
have my solemn word, as a Joketsuzoku Amazon, that I am not here to break
up your marriage or to steal Ranma-san. I will not attempt such a breakup,
nor will I take advantage of one, should it arise," she pledged, and bowed
to Akane to seal the pact.
Akane's jaw dropped. "You're serious, aren't you!" she blurted,
"You've really given up on Ranma!"
Shampoo returned to her locked and upright position. "My marriage
to Ranma wasn't in the cards." /*Hoboy, was it ever NOT in the cards!*/ "My
letter to you was sincere; I do hope that your marriage continues to be..."
Shampoo cast a sidelong glance at Ranma-chan, only now extracting herself
from the remains of the floor. "...stable."
Akane was impressed by Shampoo's maturity. "I'm impressed by your
maturity, Shampoo!" See? ;) "We'll let you stay on condition that you don't
go after Ranma. If you do, this mallet slams _your_ head. Got it?" Akane
stressed, hefting Bakadring for emphasis.
Shampoo gave her a sloppy salute. "Yes, ma'am!"
Akane sighed and nodded. "Alright...Welcome to our home, and such,"
she relented and shuffled out of the foyer and back into the kitchen.
"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. I didn't plan on having a guest for
dinner, so we might have to split Ranma's portion."
"ahhh, no thanks, Akane! I already...ate on my way over," Shampoo
politely turned down Akane's offer. Not that she would touch Akane's food
under _any_ circumstances.
A blue aura started glowing from the kitchen.
Seeing her error, Shampoo quickly amended, "I knew you weren't
expecting me, so I didn't take any chances in case I missed it." With a
grin, she added, "And, I _know_ how Airen eats!"
Ranma-chan *gack*ed. Akane screeched from the kitchen as the glow
flared and started making heat distortions, "'AIREN'?!"
"Psyche!" Shampoo chortled. "Don't be so gullible, Akane!"
Akane only grumbled in response, something about sixteen-ton
weights. The glow started to dissipate, slowly.
Ranma noticed that Shampoo no longer was speaking in those
'Shampooisms' of hers. "Hey, Shampoo. How the heck did you get so good at
Japanese?" the man/woman asked.
"Silly Ranma! I _have_ had twenty years to practice!"
-=<oo>=-
She ran.
She didn't know where to run to, but she knew she couldn't stay.
Why? Why did this happen to her? Her husband would never have her
now. Who would anyone want _her_ for a wife?
She wanted to have children; now she never will.
She was a danger to him. She might actually KILL him. She couldn't
stay here.
It was all her master's fault. If he didn't do...that to her, she
would never have been a danger to her husband. She would still be fertile,
and desirable.
The thought gave her strength; it gave her resolve. Her master was
as good as dead, like he should have been long ago...
-=<oo>=-
Hot water doused onto Ranma's head, drenching her and triggering
the reversal of the Jyusenkyo curse back to his normal masculine self. Once
he did that, something occurred to him.
"Shampoo, you're cured!"
"uh, yeah..." Shampoo mumbled, "I guess you can say that..."
"That's great! Howdja do it? Did you jump in the Nyanniichuan?"
Akane stuck her head out of the kitchen doorway and snapped at her
husband, "Ranma, she just came in out of a rainstorm, soaked to the bone,
and what's the first thing you do? You ask her how she got cured of her
curse! Let her get settled first; the cure's not going anywhere."
"Uh, right..."
They stepped into the main room. Not much had changed in the past
two decades. Some things merely showed signs of wear. Other items were
completely new. One of them was sitting at the table, waiting patiently for
dinner, a teenaged girl with blue-black hair. It wasn't a hairstyle that
Shampoo had seen before, but it was the hairstyle Akane had when Ranma
first came to the dojo. She turned around and saw their guest. "Oh, hello."
"Shampoo, this is my daughter--"
"Saotome Tashimi, fifteen. Nice ta meecha," said the girl, offering
her hand.
Shampoo took it, then introduced herself, "Hi. I'm Shampoo, one of
Ranma's...old friends."
"So _you're_ Shampoo, eh?" the girl grinned. "Hey, otousan! Wasn't
she the one who had lots of real estate?"
Ranma and Shampoo looked at her oddly. "What are you talking about,
Tashimi-chan?"
"Well, you said she had 'huge tracks of land'."
"He. Said. What?" came a demonic growl from the kitchen, the aura
flaring again. Ranma laughed nervously as Shampoo gave him a wry look.
As if prearranged to interrupt the imminent violence, the thumping
of little feet came down the hall. Suddenly, two black-haired bundles of
energy came bursting into the room. A preteen girl was in hot pursuit of a
carbon-copy of herself, save clothing, hairstyle and degree of dampness,
and she held a green squirtgun. "I'll get you, Maka-chan!!"
The other girl, 'Maka-chan', giggling merrily, hurdled the table
and ducked behind Tashimi. The pursuing girl drew bead on Maka-chan.
Tashimi went sheet white. "Mizaki, don't you--"
*squirt*
"--dare!! Dammit, and this was silk, too!" Tashimi groused. Shampoo
blinked a few times to confirm that she had indeed seen what she thought
she had just seen. Tashimi's hair had seemed to subtly shifted color,
gaining red highlights. Also, her figure seemed to have altered; Shampoo
could have sworn that Tashimi's chest size expanded slightly. Or maybe it
was just because her blouse was damp.
Mizaki rounded the table to confront 'Maka-chan'. 'Maka-chan'
rushed back out of the room, squirting backwards with her own blue
squirtgun, with Mizaki hot on her heels.
Tashimi sat for a moment, staring hard at the portal that her
sisters had fled down. Then she stood up with a grim look on her face.
"Excuse me, I got two sisters to kill..." she said with extreme frankness,
then suddenly tore out of the room after the twins.
Shampoo blinked again. Did she...Yes, she did. Whatever bust size
Tashimi had previously, it was clear that her hair had shifted color. She
turned to Ranma and quipped deadpan, "Jyusenkyo, I presume..." Ranma
shrugged.
"GET BACK HERE!" screamed Tashimi, chasing after the two girls.
Ranma smiled. "The two scamps were our twin daughters, Masako and
Mizaki, aged seven," Ranma introduced the twins, non habeus corpus.
"Nyah-nyah! Can't catch us, Tachi-chan!" teased Mizaki...or was it
Masako? One of them, anyway.
"Don't call me 'Tachi-chan'!" shouted the older sister.
Shampoo watched the children play (or try to kill each other; take
your pick), a sad smile on her face.
"Um...Ranma, I would like to change into something more
comfortable..." Shampoo said abruptly, indicating her drenched clothes.
"Of course. I think we may still have one of your old outfits lying
around. Kami-sama knows you certainly left a lot of 'em here," Ranma said,
leading a giggling Shampoo to the bathroom.
-====||====-
The family were seated around the table for dinner, plus their
guest. Apparently, Akane was now a competent cook, judging from the lack of
choking noises and unusual skin colors and patterns, Shampoo noted.
Ranma was also eating couthly. Probably because of the absence of
his father, or maybe Akane's conditioning with Bakadring.
"Are you sure you won't have some, Shampoo?" Akane asked.
Shampoo waved her off. "I'm completely full. Can't hold any more."
/*Not exactly a lie...*/ thought Shampoo. "It smells delicious, though..."
/*Or would have...*/ she grinned internally, however wry it may have been.
"So, Shampoo..." Ranma asked finally, "...where have you been
hiding yourself for the last two decades?"
Shampoo sighed. "Around. I've been all over the world, and I go
wherever fate takes me. Sorta like ol' Lost Boy without the destination."
"How's Mousse?" Akane asked abruptly.
Shampoo froze. "What?"
"Didn't you cave in to Mousse's wooings and marry him?" Akane
grinned slyly. It very Nabiki-like, making it especially scary.
"What do you mean?"
"Well...he disappeared around the same time you did," Akane
elaborated, grin still on her face, "so everyone assumed that you had
eloped. Cologne wouldn't say for sure...She only told us that she disowned
you."
"She did?"
"She kept telling us, 'Shampoo is dead...'," Akane explained before
stuffing another piece of fish into her mouth. Shampoo shuddered visibly.
"Hey, it's okay...If Cologne had a problem with your marriage, then you
obviously didn't let that stop you, right?" Shampoo fretted at that. "I
mean...you and Mousse _did_ elope...didn't you?"
-=<oo>=-
Mousse's eyes were blank. He lay limp in Shampoo's arms with a
bloodied wound on his neck. Shampoo propped him up in her lap, staring at
his lifeless face. "Mousse...no..." she whispered.
"Mousse, wake up!" Shampoo commanded, shaking him for all she was
worth, "Wake up! Is Shampoo!"
Nothing.
"Mousse, is no funny," baded Shampoo, fear rising within her soul,
"Wake up! Please be alright!"
Mousse had nothing to say.
Her fingers went to the unbloodied side of his neck, trying to find
the telltale throb of his carotid artery. After a few seconds of fruitless
searching, she put her ear to his chest.
Silence.
Shampoo lifted her head from Mousse's still chest, hugging the
corpse to herself. "Mousse..." she choked, feeling tears welling in her
eyes.
She heard a fit of laughter that sent chills up her spine. Shampoo
turned to face its owner, leaning against the wall. He was grinning, his
canines pronounced, almost like...fangs.
-=<oo>=-
"No," Shampoo whispered. "We didn't elope."
Akane's eyes widened with curiosity. "Then what--?" she began.
"Mousse..." Shampoo started to say. She was about to say "is dead",
but remembered the twins. They were so young, so full of vitality, it would
be a pity if they knew of death at such an early age. "...passed on."
Both Ranma and Akane froze. Tashimi tried her best to ignore the
conversation. One of the twins -- Mizaki, Shampoo guessed -- turned to
Ranma and asked, "Otousan, what does 'passed on' mean?"
Ranma shook himself out of his daze. "I'll tell you when you're
older, Mizaki-chan."
Akane sensed a need to change the subject, fast. "So,
Shampoo...you're free of your curse?"
"You saw me soaked head to toe and still *hem* human," she said. No
one noticed the slight cough.
Suddenly curious, Ranma leaned in and asked, "What _is_ the cure?"
Shampoo sighed. Her cure for the Maoniichuan was one of the only
good things about that experience, and there were very few good things
about it. "Believe me, it's NOT worth it. Take it from someone who's been
through it."
That only strengthened Ranma's curiosity. "Why? What is this cure?"
"Let's just say that it cures all that ails you..." Shampoo said in
a low voice, growing slightly annoyed with Ranma. Unfortunately, the cure
has a rather enormous drawback...
Ranma was actually frowning. Shampoo had a cure and she wasn't
willing to share? /*Selfish little--! Stay calm...*/ he thought. "Listen,
Shampoo. You've found a cure, something that Ryouga 'n me never found. If
you tell us, we might be able to find--"
"Will you drop it?!" Shampoo exploded, locking eyes with Ranma and
glaring challengingly at him. "I'm not going to tell you, so just *forget*
it, Ranma!"
And Ranma did.
"Um, you okay, Shampoo-obasan?" Mizaki asked after a stunned pause.
Shampoo deflated when she saw the staring and slightly frightened
faces of the twins. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blown up just then,
but..." Shampoo sighed, "You must understand, I've regretted my cure ever
since I got it. The cure is much, much worse than the curse, Ranma. Trust
me on this."
"Um...okay..." Ranma murmured. "What were we talking about?"
Everyone at the table erupted into giggles, except Ranma, who blinked in
confusion, as he had asked in all seriousness.
A couple of seconds later, Tashimi moved the conversation over to a
less controversial subject. "Well, I had to kick Hentarou's butt again
today," she mumbled.
"Him again..." Ranma grumbled. Hentarou was a lecherous little spaz
in Tashimi's grade. Ranma remembered Parents' Day two years ago during
Toshiro first year in junior high school. The pervert glomped Tashimi right
in the middle of class. His daughter punted him into LEO. Letting out a
sigh, Ranma asked wearily, "What did lecher-boy do this time?"
Tashimi stuffed another morsel in her mouth and chewed angrily.
"Same thing he does every day, otousan, try to cop a feel," she mumbled,
none too happy. Then her frown turned into a self-satisfied smirk. "I
kicked him into orbit, though."
"Good to know you're getting your exercise..." Akane smiled.
Masako winked at Mizaki. "May we be excused, please?" they asked in
perfect synch. Shampoo smiled unconsciously; it was so kawaii.
"Of course. Just remember to wash off your plates, okay?" Akane
instructed.
"Okay!" they replied, still in synch. They stood, then shouted
together, "FIRE ONE!"
*squirt* *squirt*
In the split second after the order to fire, the twins fast-drew
their squirtguns and gave Tashimi a double-barreled squirt in the face. Her
hair turned reddish again. "Why you little...!" she growled, bolting to her
feet.
"SAOTOME SECRET TECHNIQUE!" the twins chanted, and took off with
Tashimi on their tails.
Shampoo collapsed in a fit of laughter. She had almost forgotten
what it felt like to experience a full belly-laugh. It felt good.
-====||====-
Shampoo sat crosslegged on the floor, watching the rain run down
the window. The light of the moon cast shadows of the drops on her face as
they made their way down. She was in the guest room, the space-heater still
drying out her leathers.
"<Why did you do this to me, Calvin?>" Shampoo asked the rain in
Chinese. The rain didn't answer her.
She smiled wryly. "<You never could give me a straight answer.>"
"<Dammit! I had so much to live for!>" she growled. "<I wanted to
marry Ranma! I wanted to have children! I wanted a normal Amazonian life!>"
The Amazon shuttered. "<And you took that away from me.>"
"<At least your soul, if you ever had one, is in hell, you bastard!>"
The rain wept for her...
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
INTERMISSION:
GO GET SOME POPCORN!
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
NERIMA, 2011 AD
---------------
Saotome Nodoka sighed tiredly as she trudged back home. Her wooden
geta clacked a fixed pattern against the sidewalk concrete, and with her
Special Little Package cradled in her arms. Her husband, Genma, had gone
out with his friend Soun to get drunk off their asses. They were very
successful.
/*Too bad it's the few things that they can do right...*/
An hour ago, Nodoka received a call from some man with slurred
speech. It took her a minute to realize that it was Genma. He had overspent
his wallet and needed Nodoka to bring money to cover him and Soun. She
sighed, exasperated. /*Maybe I should start charging them interest,*/ she
thought wryly.
The past nineteen years had been kind to her. The dreaded Takahashi
Syndrome had yet to strike her, if it would strike at all. She had a few
gray hairs and the odd wrinkle or two, but that was it.
She stopped suddenly. For a second, everything was still. Then
Nodoka unwrapped her sword, drawing it out. She no longer accidentally
tossed it away doing this, and was actually a decent swordswoman. It was to
the exercise she got as she trained with the sword that she attributed her
retained youth. "Who's there?" she demanded.
She tried to feel her opponent, but had not yet detected him. She
could've sworn that someone was...
A hand closed around her mouth, while another grabbed her around
her torso, pinning her arms to her sides. Nodoka tried to scream, but the
hand prevented her. She struggled, but the other hand held her fast. She
struggled and let out muffled screams as she was dragged into the waiting
alley...
Tj/Wyrm presents
A GAC Production
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
H U N T R E S S
By Thomas R Jefferys
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
With additional dialouge by J. D. Farber
Ranma 1/2 and associated characters created by....
Ahhh, do you really give a shit anyway?
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
CHAPTER 2: Summer of '91
NERIMA DISTRICT, 2011 AD
------------------------
*bleeeep*
*bleeeep*
*bleee--* *click*
"Moshi-moshi," Ranma said into the reciever, listening to the phone
at the same time that he was playing Monopoly with Mizaki-chan. He listened
for a minute to the person at the other end, his face slowly gaining a
scowl. "Who IS this?!?" he roared. "Kodachi, if that's you, I'll...Oh, it's
you, Pop..."
---/--/---
Genma swayed like reeds in the wind as he held the receiver on his
end to his ear. "Lithen, boy...*hic* I don' havta take any *hic* crap fro'
ya. Jus' geddown to da pub and pay off...pay off...*hic*"
//Are you at the Cha-Cha Maru AGAIN?!// came Ranma's outraged
scream, //POP! How many times have I _told_ you not to get drunk off your
ass all night! Some father YOU are...//
"Weeeellll, Y'know, Ranma...*hic*," Genma drawled, "We're jus'
celebraten' da union of the...*hic* Anythin' Goes... Anythin' Goes...*hic*
you know." He blinked, then remarked into the receiver, "Speakin' of
which..." Hanging up, he headed for the head.
---/--/---
Ranma mumbled dark things as he replaced the receiver back on the
phone cradle. Sighing, he turned to the rest of the family. "I gotta go
pick up my old man and Grandpa Tendou. I'll be back in a bit."
"Drunk again, huh?" Tashimi remarked dryly as she read _Horrible
Forces of the Universe (and How to Use Them)_.*
"As a skunk..." Ranma replied, and left the room to get ready.
Besides, he was losing anyway.
*(2pts to anyone who catches that reference! :)
-====||====-
Ranma strolled out of his home, down the footpath. He didn't notice
the figure in white robes leaning against the tree. This was not
surprising, that he wouldn't be able to see that figure anyway.
<<Being a ghost sucks...>> he remarked 'aloud.' Since he lacked the
material substace necessary to actually vibrate air molecules, Mousse could
only 'path his thoughts. He looked much like when he was alive, save he no
longer wore glasses; he no longer needed them. Arcane sight didn't suffer
from bad optics.
He cast his memory back to just before sunrise...
-=<oo>=-
Shampoo stepped out of the Tendou home. Her eyes casting a wearied
glance at everything. If she was caught doing this, it would be VERY hard
to explain. Her eyes scrutinized the yard, and she chose a spot just behind
one of the trees in the yard.
Grass crunched underneath her chinese shoes. Sourly, she grumbled,
"Leather is a bitch to dry," as she made her way to the base of the tree,
scrutinizing the twisted roots and the earth underneath with a critical
eye, appraising it like a work of art. Shampoo frowned. /*Great. Now you're
acting like a hoity-toity Toreador. Next thing you know, you'll be staring
entranced at a twisted fork.*/
<<Hello, Shampoo.>>
Shampoo started, letting out a small shriek before recovering, then
gave the wraith a hard look. "Mousse, how many times have I told you not to
_do_ that?" she hissed.
<<Sorry. It's not as if I have many real, solid people I can to
talk to...>> Mousse's ghost replied. Apparently, when Mousse died, his
spirit latched onto Shampoo's soul. Shampoo was the only non-ephemeral who
could really interact with Mousse; even necromancers had a hard time
talking to him. Besides her, only spirits and other wraiths could properly
communicate with him. It probably had to do with the intense love that
Mousse had for her...and the way Mousse had died.
"I don't see why you don't just trancend your ghostly ass to the
next level and be done with it; you know as well as I do that my kind don't
become wraiths," Shampoo told him, stating a fact that they both knew.
After all, Mousse originally told her this; such souls are summarily dumped
into Oblivion. "You're not helping me by sticking around, y'know," she
added, "You're just reminding me of that awful night."
Mousse shook his insubstantial head. <<I know, Shampoo. That's why
I'm here,>> he 'said'. <<As I told you when I first appeared to you like
this, I'm not leaving until my job is done.>>
"Go away!" snarled the Amazon.
Mousse grinned like a shark. <<Make me.>>
She let out a hiss and and threw a powerful punch at the spectre's
chin. Shampoo's uppercut hit nothing, passing right through; the wild swing
threw her off balance and brought Shampoo unceremoniously to the ground. A
ghostly laugh issued from Mousse's lips.
Mousse waited for Shampoo to pick herself off the ground, a little
annoyed but much more embarrassed. Shampoo herself remembered that a
Restless Mousse can't be as easily silenced like a living Mousse. <<Now, if
you're through chasing after ghosts, I'll continue. I'm here to keep you
sane; if you keep wallowing in self-pity, it'll destroy you.>>
The annoyed look was rolled over by one of depression. "Let it.
It's more than I deserve."
<<No, I can't...won't let that happen. My soul will never be at
rest until yours is,>> Mousse stated. Mousse reached into his robes and
pulled out a spectral rose. Offering it to Shampoo, he added, <<I still
love you so much.>>
Shampoo scowled at the ephemeral flower offered to her. She passed
a hand through it, disrupting it like a trail of smoke. "That," she
declared without reservation, "is not possible. Not after what I've
done...after what I became." She spun about and strode back toward the tree.
<<After what? After you became a vampire?>>
Shampoo froze.
("Your fangs, Shampoo...")
<<After you killed me?>>
("Your fangs...")
-=<oo>=-
Shampoo lifted her head from Mousse's still chest, hugging the
corpse to herself. "Mousse..." she choked, feeling tears welling in her
eyes.
She heard a fit of laughter that sent chills up her spine. Shampoo
turned to face its owner, leaning against the wall. He was grinning, his
canines pronounced, almost like...fangs.
/*Vampire...*/ her mind realized.
"Congradulations, Shampoo, on your first kill," Calvin said as if a
proud parent.
The bile rose in Shampoo's mouth. At least, she hoped...prayed it
was bile. "Shampoo's...first...kill?" She looked down at the body,
especially at the wound on his neck. She examined the two puncture wounds
on his neck. That and his paleness told her exactly what had killed him.
But that one said that she had killed him.
That would mean...
Almost afraid of what she might find, she reached up and probed her
mouth. All her teeth seemed to be in the right place, and there didn't seem
to be any additional or unusually long teeth, although her canines were a
bit sharper than she remembered. Shampoo felt her anger swell. "YOU LIE!"
she accused, standing. "Vampire kill Mousse! Shampoo only see one vampire
here, and Shampoo no vampire!"
Calvin gave her a toothy grin. "You sure about that?"
Shampoo was taken aback for a second by a mote of doubt before
recovering with a thin smile. "If Shampoo vampire, where Shampoo's fangs,
hmmmm?" she asked smugly.
"Oh, a Kindred's fangs not extended all the time, you know," Calvin
said matter-of-factly. "Otherwise, the Masquerade would be very difficult
to maintain." Calvin took a moment to slash his arm, laying his flesh open
like raw meat.
Shampoo shuddered. For some reason, she didn't feel the blood drain
from her face. "You is crazy vampire!" she declared.
Calvin laughed. "Nah! I'm no Malkavian...but you wouldn't know what
the hell a Malkavian is, do you? Oh well, you'll know soon enough."
As Shampoo tried to figure out what the heck Calvin was talking
about, she smelled something wonderful. Shampoo felt heady just at the
smell, so good that she wanted to drink in all of whatever it was. She
sniffed around, trying to locate the source of that wonderful head.
"Shampoo."
Shampoo interrupted her search to look at Calvin. The vampire
showed her his arm, a dark red liquid slowly seeping out the slash in his
arm. Shampoo's gaze locked onto the vitae, and she wanted nothing more than
to lap it up.
She took a single step toward him and stopped, suddenly realizing
what exactly that was she wanted to drink. /*What am I THINKING?!*/ Shampoo
thought with revulsion...empty revulsion, as the urge to consume it grew
stronger. She stared entranced by the sight of it.
Then she felt something move in her mouth.
Calvin nodded in satisfaction and brought his wounded arm up,
licking at his blood and at the wound. Both disappeared. Shampoo wimpered
pitifully and took another step to him, then stayed herself.
Shampoo remembered that movement in her mouth, the movement of
something extending. She ran her tongue over her teeth and winced as it
caught on something long and sharp where her canine should've been. She
swallowed the savory blood as it healed almost instantly.
Long and sharp?
Her hand went to her mouth again, only this time when she examined
it, she felt two long and pointed teeth, almost like the canines of a wolf.
"Your fangs, Shampoo," Calvin whispered in triumph.
Shampoo recalled the sensation of them extending, remembering how
it was done. Then she just...retracted them, and they obeyed like they were
an arm or leg. She spent a few moments playing with her new body part. The
Amazon beauty looked down at herself, down at her deathly-pale skin, then
started shivering as if someone poured ice water down her back, only she
didn't turn into a cat.
The memory of her first hunt came back to her.
She took a step back.
Then another.
Then she ran.
-=<oo>=-
Shampoo shook herself free of the memory. She had simultaneously
learned of her vampirism and the identity of her first prey. Mousse, her
would-be rescuer, a man whom she had grown up with, a man who loved her.
Shame weighed down on her unbeating heart. The ghost of Mousse was
standing right in front of her, and she could think of only one question.
"How can you possibly love me, Mousse?" she asked in a voice trembling.
"You should _hate_ me! I killed you! With these!" She opened her mouth,
showing her extended fangs. Shuddering, she retracted them and whimpered,
"I-I'm a monster, Mousse..."
Mousse let out a spectral sigh. Almost his entire life had been
devoted to Shampoo, since he was three. That was about thirty four years in
the past, taking up the first fourteen years of that time in blind pursuit
of his love. <<I don't care. My love for you shall never waiver, Shampoo,>>
Mousse replied. /*My love, or my passion; take your pick...*/ he added
silently.
"No! Leave me, Mousse! Forget about me; you owe me nothing! Go now
and never look back!" came her last sorrowful commands as Shampoo bolted
for the tree.
<<SHAMPOO!!>>
Shampoo's body suddenly dropped into the soil as if falling into a
deep pit by the tree. Mousse knew there was no actual hole, though. Rather,
she had used one of her powers to join with the earth in which the tree was
rooted. The earth would protect her from the sun's rays until dusk tonight.
-=<oo>=-
The spectre of Mousse pushed himself off the tree that he was
leaning against. Ranma had taken to the rooftops, going to the bar his
father and father-in-law were stuck at.
Mousse needed no support anymore. Instead, he took to the air and
pursued his former rival. Of course, his rivalry was now moot; not only was
he no longer able to pursue Shampoo or destroy Ranma in any real way,
Shampoo was now DEFINITELY not availible...
-====||====-
NERIMA DISTRICT, 1991 AD
------------------------
Nerima had a norm. The market still opened at five and closed at
nine. Kids still went to and from school and despised homework. People
still cleaned their houses and worked in their gardens. Engineers still
worked in sterile and small cubicles, and their managers still ignore them.
"Dogbert, what's that you doing with that metal detector?"
"Looking for your boss's embezzled cash. I'll use it as evidence
against him."
"You going to give the cash back?"
"Some of it." *wag* *wag* *wag*
The engineers' dogs are still megalomaniacs...
"Konnichiwa, Tofu-sensei."
"Ka-Ka-Ka-Kasumi!"
"Ahhh, Kasumi-dear! Heavens to Betsy, my gout seems to have gotten
much better all of a sudden! Thank you anyway, Doctor. Bye now!" *ZOOOM!!!*
Kasumi still made Dr. Tofu crazy with love.
"...And to elaborate on this important point, officer, it is
imperative that the Tokyo police be more attentive to their duties so that
nobility such as I, the great Kunou Tatewaki, scion of the grand House of
Kunou, may walk these streets without coming into contact with vile
travesties of justice such as these!"
"Listen, Mac. Sweeping up the dog shit is the Department of
Sanitation's job."
Kunou still remained the long-winded moronic jerk he is.
And most importantly...
"Aiyah! Ranma Airen, Nihao!!!" *glomp!* "You take Shampoo on date,
yes?"
"Date...?"
"DATE!!??!! You ungrateful jerk! I was going to cook dinner tonight!"
"*URK!* Jeez, that date's startin' to sound pretty good, Shampoo..."
"Wai! Shampoo so happy!!"
"Why you... RANMA NO BAKA!!!" *BA-KOOOOM!!!*
...Saotome Ranma still had woman troubles...
*SPLASH!*
"Wadja do _that_ for, you kawaikune tomboy!"
"'Tomboy'!?! Look who's talking, 'TOMBOY'!" *WHAM!WHAM!WHAM!*
...in more ways than one.
-====||====-
It is here that this chapter begins.
"Shampoo! Look out!"
"AIYAHHHHHHH!!!"
*SCREECH!*
*CRUNCH!*
"Oh no! Shampoo's bike!"
/*Shit,*/ thought the driver. /*This is not good.*/ Willhelm Kraus
put the car into gear and mashed down on the accelerator. The master would
give him hell for this, to actually run _over_ her bicycle. That was what
Calvin called "A Big Oops." /*Naah, this is bigger than a Big Oops, this is
a Bad Thing.*/ Be that as it may, he couldn't let Shampoo see him,
especially if he wanted to live. The tires squealed and he was off.
"I guess that's what you get for tailing someone on a bike with a
car..."
Dispite his mistake, Willhelm smiled; Shampoo had not identified
him as far as he could tell. That was critical, as her time drew near. Just
get a little ways away, and watch the prey from afar...
"Stupid driver! He crush Shampoo's bike! How Shampoo deliver orders
now?" Shampoo growled, looking at the twisted remains of what had once been
a bicycle. Her bicycle. "If Shampoo ever see stupid bearded man again,
Shampoo smash!"
Her anger fled her when she realized that she had won the coveted
date with Airen. Her scowl turned into a bright, cute smile. She was going
to have such fun tonight. Who knows, she might get lucky.
"Shampoo!"
Shampoo winced. Duck-boy was back.
"Shampoo! I love you!" Mousse yelled as he thundered toward
Shampoo, a big bouquet of flowers in his hands and a billowing cloud of
dust trailing him. "Take this token of my lo--!"
*DONG!*
"Stupid Mousse. That telephone pole!"
Shampoo sighed as Mousse slowly slid down the still quite solid
pole. /*What a dimwit. Some things never change...thank goodness.*/ Her
eyes went to the box contianing her deliveries. /*Might as well deliver
what I can and get back to the Nekohanten,*/ she thought. /*Then, a date
with Ranma.*/ She started jogging in the direction of her next delivery,
the box swinging with each stride...
The delivery went well. Why shouldn't it? It's not like it was a
major task to her and she had no experience. In actuality, it was just
taking boxes to some goddamned place in Tokyo and dropping it off. You had
to be a really dim bulb (or Ryouga) not to accomplish that.
Of course, there was that peculiar chill that accompanied her
during the delivery, but whenever she looked, no one was there. She
dismissed it as a figment of her imagination.
Shampoo returned to the Nekohanten, finished off her shift. Cologne
released her early anyway. After all, she was her great-grandaughter, and
she was about to have a date with the man that would be her son-in-law.
-====||====-
Ranma shed her shoes as Akane continued to bitch at her. "You
boar-buggerin', slop-eating biggot! You'd take Shampoo on a date rather
than stay home and let me cook for you!" Recently, Akane got her hands on a
cheerful little book called _1001 Insults for Your Betrothed_, by Akbar &
Jeff, and her insults have become more creative ever since. Ranma didn't
have that advantage, and Akane reveled in it.
"Ahhh, you stupid tomboy! Doncha realize you can't cook?" Ranma
snapped back. Ranma was always very confused why his/her fiancee never
seemed to realize that she was cullinarily challenged; it wasn't _his_
fault her stuff tasted worse than pig slop.
Akane, on the other hand, never knew why Ranma didn't appreciate
her cooking. He seemed to think making fun of her cooking was the funnest
thing in the world. After all, cooking was simple, wasn't it? Kasumi made
it seem so easy.
This point she made clear to Ranma with her mallet, which Akane
applied to her head. "Owww!" Ranma grunted.
Akane stormed away, growling a mantra: "Ranma no baka! Ranma no
baka! Ranma no baka!..."
Ranma extracted herself from under the mallet, moaning in pain.
"Stupid tomboy..." she snarled softly. "Fine then. I go out with Shampoo
and take her to a love motel if that will make you happy! *urk!*" she
shouted, and a duck-pin labeled "duck-pin" slammed against her skull.
"ow..." she moaned as she picked herself off the floor and trooped to the
bathroom to revert to maleness.
*DING-DONG!*
Kasumi stepped out of the kitchen, declaring cheerfully, "Oh my,
that'll be the new rice cooker..."
(SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: (a la "Ben Hurr") "NEW COOKER SKETCH")
--- O_O -- O_O -- O_O -- O_O -- O_O -- O_O ---
Elsewhere, elsewhen, a cute redhead in a sweatshirt and jeans with
a pair of metal-rimmed glasses on her nose mallets a similarly (but more
masculinely) dressed bespecticled man at a computer.
-====||====-
When Shampoo came down the stairs from the bedrooms, she was
cladded in a vermillion silk chiongsam with gold-threaded flower prints
interwoven within the sheer silk fabric. "Great-Grandmother! You think
Husband like Shampoo's dress?" she asked melodiously, twirling around in
front of her aged ancestor.
Cologne looked up from her evening meal and appraised her young
heir. She nodded approvingly at the way the tight dress hugged Shampoo's
curves. The rectangular-cut ruby earrings matched the dress, forming a
bridge of color between the dress, her pouty cherry lips and purple hair.
"Shampoo," Cologne smiled greatly, "Your husband would have to be
dead not to like it."
"Aiyah! Shampoo glad Great-Grandmother think so!"
As if on cue, a knock came from the side door. From beyond the
wooden portal came a young man's voice speaking sloppy Japanese, "Yo,
Shampoo. I'm here now."
"Your date is here, Great-Granddaughter. Go forth and reel him in!"
Cologne gave Shampoo a conspirational wink, and brought a piece of tofu up
in between her chopsticks. Shampoo beamed so brightly, casting shadows
everywhere, as she bounced to the door; tonight, Ranma _will_ be hers at
last, or she would die in the attempt.
One of Cologne's chopsticks snapped off while putting the morsel in
her mouth. The wooden length made an ominous clatter as it fell onto the
table surface.
*klackity-klack*
Cologne stared at the broken chopstick. /*A bad omen...*/
"Ranma, Aiyah!" Shampoo giggled as she pulled open the door. Ranma
was standing at the door, looking very uncomfortable in an expensive black
tuxedo, and feeling very much like a fried tortilla. He did hold a
bouquette of roses in his hand, freshly cut and wafting the sweet fragrance
of the flower of love to the couple's noses.
Anyway, Ranma had to take a step back as he took in the beauty that
stood before him. He felt a sweat-drop form on his head as he reevaluated
the wisdom of a date with Shampoo. This evaluation turned out unchanged
when he took Akane's dinner into account. /*She's better than a kick in the
head.*/ "Er, uh... You-you look... uh, great... um, er, Shampoo..." he
managed to stammer out as he forgot all the remaining grammar rules he
knew, finding his mouth uncooperative as he had to retrieve it from the
ground.
"Husband really think so?" Shampoo asked, edging closer to her date
and gave him a carefully-calculated glimmering-eye look.
Ranma nodded vigorously. He didn't dare open his mouth again, lest
his jaw become disjointed.
"Is good! Shampoo like what Ranma wearing, too!" Shampoo returned
the compliment. /*Though I'd much rather see you out of it,*/ she giggled
inwardly and evilly as the perverse thought snapped through her mind.
Ranma offered his arm to Shampoo. "Shall we go?" he asked, managing
to keep his tongue under control. Shampoo giggled cutely and they started
walking to the Ma Maison for the date.
"That womanizer Ranma!" Mouse growled, rushing through the
Nekohanten at full tilt. "How dare you go out with my love. Saotome!
DIEEEE--!"
*DOK*
Cologne returned her staff to her side and opened a package of new
chopsticks. "Mousse, go fetch your toothbrush and utilize it to clean out
the ovens," she told the floored but recovering Mousse.
-====||====-
The evening was clear and above the city of Tokyo, the
jewel-encrusted sky casting its brilliance upon Ranma and Shampoo. Ranma
had enjoyed himself, dispite his misgivings about going on a date, and the
intense feeling of being watched.
Shampoo felt it too, and it unnerved her more than it did Ranma.
/*That had better not be that spatula-girl or the no-good psycho-girl,*/
thought the Amazon bitterly. She half smirked at the thought of her
bonborii hidden on her person.
-====||====-
"*HAA-CHOO!!* *HAA-CHOO!!* gurrr," Ukyou moaned as she lay in bed
feeling absolutely terrible. "Man, I hade de flu. *snuuurk*" She snuffed up
the phlem from her running nose. Running, hell, it was sprinting! She
ripped out a tissue and cleared her nose. Letting out a pained groan from
sore muscles protesting the movement, she flopped back down on her futon
and pulled the comforter over herself again.
Ukyou curled up and dozed off.
-====||====-
Kodachi was peacefully sleeping on the floor of her laboratory. The
remains of waxed paper lay next to her, and a trail of fine powder was
dusted over her form.
-=<oo>=-
Rewind to a few minutes earlier. Kodachi was wide awake and in her
usual crafty mood. "Careful now..." she reminded herself softly. "...one
tap at a time..."
After several taps, her powdery concoction lay within a crease on
the wax paper. Kodachi smiled to herself. "My strongest concoction yet,"
she purred, gazing at her powder. "My new sleeping powder... Thirteen
thousand times more potent... Just the thing for that purple-haired Chinese
hussy going after my Ranma-sama." She felt a giggle forming within her
throat. "*snicker* HOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO--Ah..Ah..*ATCHOO!*"
Her whole body jerked with the sneeze, sending the powder up in a
thin cloud of the drug. Unfortunately for Kodachi, she had just finished
sneezing, and thus was automatically breathing in a breath of air...and her
New and Improved Kurobara (tm) Sleeping Powder along with it.
Very quickly, she realized what had happened, and she was already
beginning to feel drowsy. "My love, I'm afraid I'll... be a bit...
tardy..." she got out, and then promptly collapsed into a blissful snooze
on the laboratory floor.
-====||====-
After eating dinner, Ranma and Shampoo walked back to the
Nekohanten. Shampoo was feeling mighty miffed. All of her feminine wiles
and playing footsies with Ranma had turned out ineffective. /*Well, I guess
it's time to put away the subtlety and go straight to the seduction.*/
She then felt a pair of eyes on her, the unseen gaze's icy chill
carressing her spine. She shuddered, whipping her head around to locate it
source.
"Hold, knaive!" came a voice that Ranma had been hoping not to hear
for a long time. Not that he expected not to hear it for some time, just
hoped he didn't. It was Kunou the Wonder Baka. The Kendoist was about to
dumb off again, "How dare you insult the noble Akane by dating with this
Chinese barbarianess!"
"Listen, Kunou... I--"
Shampoo snarled. /*He...will...die.*/ She pulled the scimitar out
from under the fold of her dress (don't ask me how she hid it under there;
you don't wanna know. :) and lopped the deranged Kendoist's pointed stick
off near the hilt.
"Shampoo and husband go out on date," Shampoo ground out, her eyes
flashing with anger. "Stupid stick-boy interupt us; stick-boy now get used
as Shampoo's Lorraine Bobbit Maneuver practice dummy!"
Kunou made a sharp, nervous swallow as Ranma's eyes bugged out and
dangled his hands protectively over a certain part of his body. Kunou
screwed up his insurmountable courage and confronted the Amazon, "You would
not dare to threaten the mightly Kunou Tatewaki with castra--*eep!*"
He paused squeeking as he suddenly felt something cold and metalic
on his unit. Kunou looked down to see it was Shampoo's scimitar that gave
him that particular sensation. Unfortunately for Kunou, it was edge-up. A
flick from Shampoo's wrist, and he'd be singing soprano again.
The scion of the House Kunou looked back at the woman who was
holding his family jewels hostage. Shampoo smiled evilly, a look that
answered his unfinished question, "Wouldn't I?" and gave the scimitar a
slight nudge up. Kunou let out another squeek and went on the tiptoes and
with a very nervous look on his face.
"You go now to home and be with you's loony sister. Straight home,
is okay?" Shampoo asked, still smiling. Kunou nodded. Shampoo lowered her
wrist a little, allowing Kunou to step back and run for it. Normally, Kunou
would use this opportunity to step back and shoot off at the mouth again,
but a more disused part of his brain, the intellect, told him it would be
wise to just get the heck out of Dodge, and so he did.
Shampoo disappeared the scimitar to wherever the heck she pulled it
from and turned to resume her date with Ranma. Except that Ranma was
nowhere to be found. "Now, Ranma, we go...huh?" she got out before noticing
his rather obvious lacking.
In truth he had bugged out back to the Dojo. Ranma *eep*ed, his
hair standing straight up and his eyes bugging out to the size of
serving-plates. /*Warp speed now, Mr. Sulu...*/ he thought and disappeared,
leaving a Ranma-shaped cloud behind that dissippated. One does not f***
with a sword-wielding Bobbit-wannabe.
"Ranma?" the Amazon tentitively asked. She sighed in
dissappointment. /*So close!*/ she thought irately. She raised her hand and
held her index finger and thumb a centimeter apart and finished the
thought, /*I was THIS close to getting him in the sack!*/ With nothing
better to do, she reluctantly trudged back toward the Nekohanten.
She felt a tap on her shoulder. She froze, then beamed as she
thought that Ranma had come back. This could go right yet! "RANMA!" Shampoo
squealed. She wheeled to face him...
...except that it WASN'T Ranma at all. It was a tall man with
orange hair and a dirty mac standing more than two feet over her. Shampoo
didn't know his name, but she certainly knew his face.
"YOU!!" Shampoo snarled, whipping out her two bonborii. "You smash
Shampoo's bike! Shampoo smash you! KUROSU!!!"
"The master wants you unharmed," Willhelm said matter-of-factly,
and popped a bag-balloon in front of her. A dusty cloud of powder puffed
out of the tattered paper, right into the girl's face, causing her to
inhale the powder, and was sent into a hacking fit.
Shampoo felt her purple-haired head start to spin like a top.
Dizzy, she swayed drunkenly. "Shampoo...no...feel...good... drugged..." the
purple-haired bombshell managed to get out before she slumped in an
involuntary nap into Willhelm's arms...
Head still doing the multiple three-sixties, Shampoo regained
conscious-ness. Shifting a little, she let out a small moan, fighting the
grogginess and a headache. She remembered encountering a man with a beard,
the same man that smashed her bike this afternoon!
Shampoo bolted up straight, but was immediately rewarded with what
felt like the stab of an icepick through her head. She returned to her
back, and this time lifted herself slowly to the upright position. This
time, she only had the dull pain of her aggravated headache.
"Uhhh, Shampoo feel have little man with spear in head," she groaned.
"Ah, finally awake," said someone. Shampoo looked to that someone,
and saw a blond-haired man with longish, ill-kept hair, leather jacket with
chains, buttons and other assortments of riff-raff. It made him look like
he belonged in a heavy metal band.
"Who you?! What you want with Shampoo?!" the Amazon snarled at him.
"I, m'dear, am Calvin Nostradamus Hobbes," he stated. Bowing, he
smiled at his 'guest', "As to what I want with you? Well, I've been
watching you for quite some time now, and I deem you worthy."
"Worthy?" Shampoo echoed quizzically. "What Shampoo worthy for?"
Something about his manner of saying that particular word made her neck
hairs stand on end.
"You'll know soon enough..." Calvin intoned mysteriously. Suddenly,
he rushed Shampoo. Shampoo pulled out her bonborii to defend herself.
-====||====-
Mousse finally finished his slave labor for the night, an amazing
feat in itself. Now he was out to pursue his love. Walking off the soreness
in his muscles from having to clean the ovens with his own toothbrush, he
decided to take care of buying himself a new toothbrush.
Slipping the new plastic oral care aid into his substantial
pockets, he decided to start searching for his love...
-====||====-
Those eyes! The man's eyes were headlights and Shampoo was a deer
caught in their glare. Try as she would, she could not move...could not
break away from that unnatural gaze.
"*Drop them,*" the man (or was it a man?) commanded softly. Shampoo
heard a thump, and she realized that it was the sound of her bonborii
hitting the floor. The man grinned in satisfaction. "Shamps, let's be
frank. I've been watching ya for some time now," he told her in a low
voice. "As a Progeny, you're excellent."
Shampoo could manage only the slightest of gasps when the man
revealed himself to be anything but. His canines were now fangs, marking
this so-called 'man' a vampire.
The vampire stepped up to her, still holding Shampoo with his eyes.
One hand went to gently touch her face, nudging her cheek and forcing the
Amazon to bear her neck to him. The vampire took one last look at Shampoo's
lovely brown eyes before he would commence.
"Prepare yourself for the Dark Side, Shamps!"
With a blur of movement, the vampire lunged. There was a brief
moment when his eyes broke contact with hers, but it was nowhere near long
enough for her to do anything about it. Not before the vampire's fangs
pierced her throat.
The sharpness of vampiric fangs stung her, causing her to jerk with
the pain. But the pain was quickly washed away with the most potent
pleasure she had ever felt. It was distilled enjoyment, concentrated
orgasm, and more! It was better than chocolate. Better than Ranma. Better
than a poke in the eye. Better than certain private activities best left in
a lemon. :)~ It...it was better than Christmas! Shampoo sighed drunkenly,
wrapping her arms around the vampire's torso and silently begged him to
continue.
Minutes stretched into eternity as the pleasure flowed into her as
if to replace the blood stolen. It could not last, however, and eventually
her head started spinning. Shampoo gasped for air, short of breath, and her
entire body felt as if it was lead. And the pleasure kept coming, yet could
not aerate her.
Shampoo's muscles ached, giving out as she went limp, her head
rolling back, too heavy to support. Held up only by the vampire's embrace,
her vision dimmed and eventually went dark. Her last effort was letting out
a final sigh of farewell and closing her eyes. The cold hand of death
enveloped her...
/*Bie Liao... Ranma... great-grandmother... mou......*/
The cold hand became a searing flame consuming her to ash and
branding her soul. Vorpal claws rended her flesh a thousand times a moment.
Hypnotic lights became a dazzling performance plunging her into madness.
She tried to scream, scream for all she was worth and never stop,
but it was for naught. A spined bed rocketed her back through the depths
that she had fell in death. Miles of nerves flared to life, announcing
their existances in a way that could not be ignored. She tried to throw
herself off the bed of spines, but they have impaled every square
centimeter of her skin straight through to it's opposing side.
Her soul sent through the torturous experience of the Becoming...
-=<oo>=-
Shampoo awoke with a start. That memory had not resurfaced in a
long, long time. Her Embrace, the moment she became Kindred. The moment
after which she would never be the same. Undead.
Undeath...death arrested with the power of the Blood. It was the
state of being between true life and true death. Dead, but not dead. A
paradox in terms. Indeed, there was a well known paradox among the Kindred:
It is often said that one never appreciated life until after their Embrace.
Not able to enjoy life until they died.
The Kindred's life was paradox. Strugling to maintain Humanity by
feeding their Beasts. Giving themselves over to stay in control. To be
kings and queens of the world, yet unknown to their subjects. The Kindred
are human born, yet were not.
The mantra summarizing everything that it meant to be Kindred,
their biggest paradox, was the one that Shampoo's mind returned to more
often than she cared to, /*'Monsters we are, lest monsters we become...'*/
Shampoo decided to cut the reminicence shit and get out of the
goddamn dirt.
-====||====-
*bleeeep*
*bleeeep*
*bleee--* *click*
"Moshi-moshi," Ranma said into the reciever, sounding a little
tired. After a second, he frowned and grumbled, "What is it this time, Pop?"
---/--/---
"Ranma-kun, you wouldn't happen to know where your mother is, do
you?" Genma asked, trying to put as much concern into his voice as he
could. /*After all, I haven't had dinner yet, and I'm hungry,*/ he thought,
but did not say, trying to keep _some_ illusion of genuine concern.
//No, I don't. When's the last time you saw or heard from her?//
Ranma asked over the phone.
"I haven't heard from her since I called home this morning," Genma
replied.
//....//
"Ranma?"
//YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU WERE EXPECTING MOM TO PAY OFF YOUR
BAR TAB??!!? AND SHE DIDN'T ARRIVE?!?!!!// came the booming voice from the
earpiece. Genma shook out his head and continued to listen as best he
could. //POP! HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THIS SOONER!!?!!//
Genma swallowed. "eheh. Son, I'll just take a looksee around the
house and find her..."
//POP! DON'T YOU DARE HA--// *click*
---/--/---
"BASTARD!!" barked a very irate martial artist, as he stared
balefully at the phone. He never thought that he could do any real damage
to his father from over here, but there was always hope.
It was then that Akane stepped in from the kitchen. "Was that my
no-good father-in-law on the phone?" she asked.
"Who else?" Ranma replaced the phone back onto its hook. "It turns
out that Mom was _supposed_ to fetch those two last night but she never
showed up." Ranma sighed. "It's only NOW that Pops told me."
Akane closed her eyes and groaned in disbelieving resignation.
"That's Saotome-ojisan for you..."
"I'm going to call around and find out if anyone has seen her."
Ranma turned back to the phone and started his quest.
Shampoo removed her ear from the thin partition between sections of
the house. Her eyebrows creased with worry. Because she was in the know,
Shampoo had a good guess to what had happened to Ranma's mother. Whatever
the Sabbat had done to Saotome Nodoka, it was going to be very evil.
"So," she finally whispered to herself, "The hunt begins..."
<<o-<o>-================-<o>-o>>
---------------------
## ## ## ## ####### ## ## AKA Tom Jefferys, Time Lord for Hire
## ## # # ## ## ### ### "Have TARDIS; Will Travel."
## # ## ### ##### ## # ## Wielder of ANVIL and SPAM! Breaking
### ### # ## ## ## ## the Rules of Fanfiction!
## ## ### ### ## ## ## of UT <wyrm@mail.utexas.edu>
Save the Bit Trees -- Conserve SPAM! When in Rome...BURN IT!!!
Darwin was wrong: Man is still an ape!