I'm baaaack! (Lack of sleep does this to me.) I didn't get a lot of
sleep this weekend because 1)I got a new Ranma 1/2 tape and 2)my cat,
Shampoo (I swear this is her real name), kept waking me up with urgent
matters such as she had an urge to walk on my head. This gave me plenty
of time to write the second entry to my fanfic before I temporarily lost
all sanity and/or consciousness. So enjoy the new entry in my fanfic.
I'll have the last part of the story out as soon as I assess any brain
damage I might have suffered from passing out on my keyboard.
-The Emperor
Legal stuff no one ever reads: If you don't know this stuff yet it means
that you've probably spent your time doing something more important such
as actually reading the story.
Ranma 1/2: The Fiancee He Never Had.
By Stephen Schlueter
Chapter Two: With Enemies Like These Who Needs Friends?
Buddy? I was beginning to think Ryoga had lost his mind. Though so far
it seemed like everyone had lost their minds.
"Ryoga!" began Nabiki "I'm so glad you're here. I'm afraid I haven't
been able to find anyone who knows how to get to that new store
downtown..."
"You're asking him for directions?" I asked sounding fairly sarcastic.
"Of course" said Nabiki "Ryoga has an excellent sense of direction."
This was getting really stupid. Ryoga doesn't even have a sense of
direction as far as I'm concerned. Though right about now anything
seemed possible. What could possibly outdo this for strangeness?
"Well, you're looking better." I knew that voice. It belonged to that
old freak.
I turned around and sure enough there was the little old weirdo smoking
his pipe.
"Now, master.." began Mr. Tendo "how many times to I have to tell you
not to smoke in the house."
"Oh" began Happosai "I'm sorry, Soun. You know I'd never do anything to
offend you."
He went over to the window and emptied the pipe.
"Have you already finished your rounds?" asked Akane.
Obviously the old freak was still the same. Stealing underwear as
always.
"Yup." said Happosai "I managed to get to every church in the city in
record time."
Churches?
"You really shouldn't give your money away like that, master." said pop.
The old freak? Giving away money? To churches? This was becoming like
one of those game shows where you hear the voice of someone from your
life and you have to guess who it is. In this case the voice usually
matched but somehow the person had gotten a personality transplant.
"Perhaps it would be best if we didn't crowd Ranma so." Another voice!
Perfect but I didn't recognize this one. Though I recognized who it
belonged to. It was Shampoo.
To those who have never met Shampoo I'll explain something to you. She
speaks in a really broken dialect which consists almost entirely of the
word "is". Secondly, she talks like she's got a cloud of helium
permanently lodged in her throat or something.
This Shampoo spoke like a scholar and with a normal pitch. With her was
Mousse. He wasn't wearing his glasses. But I figured that, considering
what had happened so far he probably had twenty-twenty vision or
something.
"Ranma!" he said sounding glad to see me. The fact that he could see me
was shock enough.
"So tell us.." said Mousse "How'd it happen? I don't know of anyone who
would want to knock you out like that."
"All right!!" I shouted. "What's the joke here?!!"
"Joke?" began Ryoga. "What joke?"
"This whole 'act the opposite' thing you've got goin' here!" I shouted.
"Oh dear" said Akane "I think he's lost his memory."
"I have not!!!" I yelled "And if I had it would probably be your fault!"
Akane was looking very concerned now but not at all insulted which was
really weird since all it usually took to make her mad was to tell her
her cooking was awful even though it always was. Or some other minor
comment such as: "Hi, Akane!"
"What do you mean?" said Akane.
"Oh, please.." I grumbled "You know what I mean. That psycho habit
you've got with hitting me with tables and stuff."
This was a serious understatement. But for the first time Akane looked
hurt. I started to think that she was gonna start crying or something.
Just then I realized where I was. I was in Akane's room. But it didn't
look much like Akane's room. There seemed to be a lot of my stuff
around. I walked out into the hallway and checked the door. I remembered
that Akane had a small nameplate on the door. The nameplate was still
there with Akane's name, but.. and I'm still not sure of this.. under
Akane's name was my name.
At this point most normal people would question their sanity. I just
stumbled backwards and fell down the stairs. Shocks like that can affect
a guy's sense of balance.
What was going on around here?
TO BE CONTINUED....
I know this one is a lot shorter than my last entry but I figured I
should get it out in chapters. The reason the last one was longer was
because I put the prologue in there too.
But my next entry will be the last chapters which should be out in the
next couple of days.
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Emperor Stephen "The Mega Man" Schlueter
Leader Of The Crimson Empire
"It's not like I start the fights or anything.She just overreacts to
every little thing!" -Ranma Saotome
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