I woke up with this story in my head this morning, and wrote as much
down as I could in the span of a single day (gotta juggle work and 
home life as well, after all).  It�s obviously unedited, and really, 
really rough, so C&C would be nice, as always.  I�ll get back to the 
Ill-Timed Cure when I�m good and ready.  Until then, here�s my *own* 
story (VERY loosely based on a RL friend of mine)


My Dying Wish
a Ranma1/2 fanfiction by Ukyou Kuonji

uh.. I don�t know whether to call this a lemon or not, but the story
does revolve around sex and marriage and yes, death.  So you�ve been
warned.


  Everyone has left the hospice room where I have been lying for the
past two weeks.  They�ve said their final goodbyes, and departed.

  Everyone, that is, except my husband, Ranma.

  �Ucchan.. can you feel anything?�  I nod, and smile weakly.  I wish 
I could respond more to him, instead of simply lying here, feeling 
him thrust into me one last time.  Still, I consider myself fortunate 
at this point to be able to merely feel him.  Hell, I consider myself 
fortunate to even *have* him here.  I may be dying, but I am a lucky 
woman nonetheless.

***

  I don�t think I had been to see a doctor since I was born.  My 
family was too poor when I was a child, even before my dowry was 
stolen.  Good doctors were few and far between in Kansai Prefecture,
anyway.  But business was good at the Ucchan those days, and I 
figured I could afford to get myself checked out.  Besides, I 
hadn�t been feeling my best, lately.  Sure, I could sling my 
spatula with the best of �em; why, I could still beat Shampoo 
in a fair fight (emphasis on �fair� -- the little hussy).  But 
something told me I ought to get myself looked at.  Maybe it was 
women�s intuition.

  Maybe I�d gone too long denying that intuition. 

***

  I thought it might take a couple of hours, and I�d be back at the
restaurant.  Konatsu was getting to be a pretty good cook, but he 
still needed help as far as the business side of the operation was 
concerned.
  But they kept me there nearly all day.  Finally, one of the doctors 
came out.

  �Well, Miss Kuonji.. we have some of the results of your lab work. 
We�d like you to come back in a couple of days.  We�re going to have 
to do a biopsy.�
  �A biopsy?  What�s the matter?�
  �Well..�  I didn�t like the sound of that pause.  �Your mammogram 
showed several abnormalities in both of your breasts.  We�re not sure 
if there�s a tumor in either, and if so, whether it�s malignant or 
benign..�

***

  Malignancy.
  Cancer.
  For ten years I had denied the fact that I was even a woman, and 
now here I had breast cancer.

  My life had been misery all the time I was seeking after Ranma and 
Genma Saotome.  My heart could hold nothing but hatred.  Hatred for 
the two men who had stolen my dowry and abandoned me by the side of 
the road.  Hatred for my gullible father, who gave the yatai away 
*before* Ran-chan and I were married, and yet threw me out of the 
house when I tried to return home -- as if it had been *my* fault.
Hatred for my female form, which left me too weak to fight or chase 
the Saotomes, and left me a third-class citizen: a dowerless female 
is among the lowest of the low.  I channelled this energy into my 
craft, my okonomi-yaki, and eventually was able to surpass my father 
in skill.  Not that he would ever be aware of it.
  Then, after ten years, I caught up with the Saotomes.  And I 
discovered Ran-chan was unaware of the bargain his father had 
reneged on.  He even liked me!  Thought I was pretty (well, �cute,�
anyway)!  How could I possibly hate him?  I even had a pretty good 
chance at snaring him, now.  His then-fiancee, Akane Tendo was a 
nice enough girl by herself, but with Ranma around, the two of them 
were like oil and water.  So I set up shop in the Nerima district 
where they lived, and decided to bide my time until he was ready to 
commit to me instead of her.

  And now, Fate had decided to play its cruelest joke of all.  I 
would never have the time to make him mine.

  Or wouldn�t I?  Maybe this would work to my advantage.  I hurried 
to the Tendo dojo.

***

  �You want to WHAT?!�  Akane was indignant at my suggestion, as I 
expected.
  �I want to marry Ran-chan.  I�d just be borrowing him, Akane-chan..�
  She had her hands on her hips, with a �this-better-be-good� 
expression on her face.  ��Borrowing� him,� she stated, archly.
  �Look, Akane-chan.  You�re not ready to marry Ran-chan..�
  �READY TO... I�m NEVER marrying that pervert!�
  �My point exactly.  But I imagine that someday you�ll change that 
tune of yours.  For myself, I certainly want to marry him.  Right 
away.  I don�t have any time to waste.  Please, Akane-chan, can I 
have your permission?  It won�t be for more than a year..�
  �What makes me think I�ll get him back from you?� she demanded. 
Poor girl, she never understood how much she loved him.  Jealousy 
wasn�t the best expression of love I could think of, but it certainly 
made lie of all her protestations that she hated him.  �How do I 
know you won�t just spirit him away from here the moment you get 
the chance?!�
  �Have I ever tried that?  I�m sure if I wanted to, I could.  And 
would have, already.  He�s still here, right?  So, you know I�m not
about to take him away from you for good.  Besides I need to stay 
here in Nerima now.�
  �Yeah?  Well, what�s marriage, if not taking him away for good? 
And why do you *have* to stay, anyway?�
  �Akane-chan, does the word �widower� mean anything to you?�
  Now she quit yelling.  �Hunh?�  
  �Akane-chan, I�m dying.�  That stopped her cold.

  �Ukyou... I- I�m sorry.�

  I nodded.  �Yeah, they�re giving me six months, a year at best. 
So, you�ll have him back soon, I can assure you.  And hey -- this 
way, old man Saotome can fulfill *both* engagements.  Isn�t that 
cool?�
  She looked at me, quizzically.  �How can you be so cheerful about
this, Ukyou?�
  I stared down at the table and tried to think of an answer to that.
�I don�t know.  I guess I�ve jumped to the acceptance stage faster 
than most people do.  The thought of making Ran-chan my husband 
helps sweeten it, too.�
  She shuddered at my calling Ran-chan �husband.�  She wasn�t quite 
ready to accept that.  �Well, what makes you think he�ll say �yes�, 
Ukyou?�
  �Well.. I�m his friend.�
  �Yeah -- but that�s not enough.�
  �No?  Don�t you think a husband and wife should really be the best 
of friends?  I would think that�s an excellent formula for a happy 
marriage.  What do you remember about your parents, Akane-chan?�
  �Well, yeah.. but I mean, he only sees you as a friend.  Not a 
marriage partner.�
  I smiled gently.  �Akane-chan, of the four of us chasing him..� 
she held up her hand,  �..or otherwise engaged to him, do you think 
he sees a marriage partner in any of us?  Would he want to marry you,
at this time?  You�ve already said you don�t want to marry him -- 
yet.�
  �Whaddya mean, �yet�?�  I just smiled.

***

  �Ran-chan?�
  He was sitting across the grill from me, as I turned over another
special okonomi-yaki for him to replace the one he was downing like 
a man possessed.  He looked up, mouth full.
  �Mmphg?�  Oh, Ranma honey...
  �Don�t talk with your mouth full.  Swallow, and I�ll ask you..�  
An audible gulp.
  �Okay, what is it, Ucchan?�
  �Ran-chan... what do you think of me?�
  �What kinda question is that?  You�re my best friend, you�re a 
great cook, you�re always there to listen to me when I needja...�
  �Uh-huh, uh-huh.  But would you be willing to marry me?�
  �Erk?!�  Nice going, girl.  *Reeeeal* subtle.
  �I mean... for a little while?�
  �A... little while?  Whaddya mean, Ucchan?�
  �Ranma, hear me out, okay?  This may be difficult...�


  It *was* difficult for Ran-chan to grasp.  It seemed that it 
hadn�t occurred to him that there might come a time when I wouldn�t 
be there anymore for him.
  �...so, I thought maybe we can get married.  So we can take 
advantage of the time we have together.  How about it, Ran-chan?
Whaddya say?�
  He just stared at me, slack-jawed.  I waved my hand in front of 
him.  �Ran-chan?�
  �I- you- you mean, you�re...�
  �Terminal.  Uh-huh.  It�s gone too far to operate; the docs said 
I should try and get the most out of the time I had left.�
  �Which is...?
  �Six months, a year, tops.  I�ve told Akane, and she�s giving me 
her blessing, believe it or not.  I told her I�d give you back at the 
end.  Assuming...� I winked, �you�ll take her after you�ve had me.�
  �Uh, well... this is kinda sudden...�
  �Tell me about it.  And I still gotta teach Konatsu the ropes 
before I hand the place over to him.�
  �Can I get back to you on this?�
  �Take your time, sugar, but give me an answer by tomorrow.�

***

  It was a simple affair, and quick.  As understanding as the Tendos 
and the Saotomes were about this, they weren�t going to take their 
chances on the Kunos or Shampoo and her great-grandmother finding 
out.  A Western ceremony, in the dojo (Thanks again, Mr. Tendo).  
Akane at my side as maid of honor.  
  As Ranma walked in, she elbowed me in the ribs.  �I hope you know
what you�re doing to me, leaving me with used goods,� she teased. 
I think she was starting to be envious of me rather than jealous 
of him.  A good sign for the future I wouldn�t see.
  I figured I might as well play it straight.  �Not at all.  One 
sign of a good marriage; the one left behind wants to get married 
all over again.  You better hope Ran-chan enjoys being married to 
me, so that he�ll be rarin� to go for you once I�m gone.�
  Her eyes were welling up.  Could it be that she was gonna miss 
me?  �Oh, Ucchan!�  What�s a bride to do when her maid of honor 
is crying on her sleeve?
  �Hey, Akane-chan.  Take it easy.  You�re supposed to be *my* moral 
support here.�
  The rest of the ceremony was a bit of a blur, although I remember 
Mr. Tendo crying at the minister�s line about �as long as you both 
shall live.�  It�s amazing; once everyone knows you�re terminal, so 
much is forgiven, even the fact that I�m stealing his daughters� 
promised fiance.

***

  Of course, the word I had used before was �borrowing�, not 
�stealing�, and it was starting to hit home.  The first few weeks 
were absolutely wonderful, as we moved his stuff from the dojo to 
my apartment over the Ucchan.  As a lover, he was pretty tentative
(but hey, aren�t we all at first?) -- I had to bop him with my 
spatula once or twice to get him to stop treating me like I was 
some kinda china doll -- but he soon warmed up to the task.  Akane,
I thought, you�re gonna be in for a real treat someday.
  It didn�t last, though.  After only a couple of months, it got to 
be very difficult (and very painful) to even get up in the mornings.
And usually, by the time I was up and about, Ranma had left for 
school.  I knew he was probably spending more time with Akane than 
me on some days, but I couldn�t resent it.  After all, I had taken 
him from her.  Besides, I hadn�t the strength.  It was all I could 
do to drag myself downstairs and help Konatsu with the cooking:
  �Just try following the receipe, Konatsu-chan, and everything 
will turn out fine.�
  �But Ukyou-sama, you always improvise, and your okonomi-yaki 
always comes out so much better.�
  �It�s <cough> not improvisation, Konatsu-chan.  I�ve got a lot 
of experience under my belt.  I know which spices go better with 
pork, and which with beef.  Fifteen years of <koff-koff> trial and 
error will get you to that point.  We don�t have that kind of time.
Now, here�s a list of what works with what...�

  As for the business end, Nabiki was helping out there.  Even 
helping to teach Konatsu the value of a yen.  Of course, that meant 
he eventually started demanding higher wages.
  �Geez, thanks a lot, Nabiki.  Even if it is more expensive to run 
the place now, it�s nice to know it�ll still be running.  What do 
I owe ya?�
  �No charge,� she�d told me.  �Just remember me in your will.�
  �All right, how�s this: �To Nabiki Tendo, who was always hinting 
about being remembered in my will: Hi there.��
  �Very funny.�
  �Hey, <cough> *I* thought it was.�

***

  Ten months had passed since my death warrant had been signed.  
Nine since the wedding.  And now, it had come to this.  Lying in 
a hospice bed, just waiting for it all to be over...
  I must look like a skeleton.  I hadn�t even been able to eat 
an okonomi-yaki for three weeks.  They taste okay, I just can�t 
keep them down.
  I had decided that enough was enough.  If one could will oneself 
to stay alive for a few more days until some special event, I 
figured I could also will myself to shut down.  And today was 
the day.  Everyone was there, friend and enemy alike.  So this 
is what it�s like to attend your own funeral, I was thinking.  
Personally, I�d take the wedding bed over the funeral bier anytime.
But I had to wait for everyone to say their goodbyes.  At least I 
gave myself time for that.

  Kuno Tatewake steps forward first.  He kisses my hand.  A gallant
to the end, even if he *is* full of himself.  �My lady, we have 
known thee so long, and yet not nearly long enough.  Nay, an 
eternity is what you deserve...�
  I cut him off. �Eternity is where I�m going, Kuno.  Thank you.
Give my best to your sister.�  He steps back and nods.
  A high-pitched voice pipes up.  �Even not-nice spatula girl 
deserve better.�
  �That�s gotta be Shampoo.  Don�t worry about me, girl.  I�ve had
the best year of my life with Ran-chan...�  I can hear steam rising
from the Chinese girl�s head.  �Mousse!� I call out. �Take care of
her, willya?  I don�t want her corrupting Ran-chan or nothin�! 
<cough-cough>�
  I can�t see him, but I hear him: �Don�t worry, Ukyou.  I�ll take
good care of Shampoo.�
  There is the �whack� of a staff, and a crotchety old voice snaps
�I am *not* Ukyou, and you are *not* taking care of Shampoo.  Ranma
will be free to marry Shampoo by tomorrow.�  General mayhem breaks
out, as everyone starts clamoring for their piece of Ran-chan.
  �Hey, hey <cough> Hey!  Will you all just SHUT UP!  I�m not dead 
*yet*.�  I gasp out.  Oh man, that was too much effort.  �Somebody
get those three out of here!  I won�t let them ruin my last moments
on earth, all right?�  Mr. Tendo, Mr. Saotome and Kuno bundle them
off.
  �Hey, girls...?�  The Tendo sister approach.  �I don�t know how to
thank you all for your support these past few months.  Especially
you, Akane-chan.  You�ll do all right for him, you know.�
  �I- I- �
  �Oh, Akane-chan.  Just open your heart for him.  He�s a fine 
husband, and I think he�ll do pretty well to have you, too.�
  Mother-in-law steps forward.  �I think that�s enough, girls.  Ukyou
needs her rest.�
  �Thank you Nodoka.  Goodbye.�
  �We�ll have a shrine built for you in the morning, Ucchan.  You�ve
been wonderful to Ranma.�
  �And he�s been wonderful right back.�  I can practically hear him
blush.  �A shrine�s not necessary, though...�
  �Well, who else would build one for you?�
  I hadn�t thought of that.  Konatsu, maybe?

  A few tears, and a number of hugs, and the Saotome and Tendo clans
rise to leave.  Including Ran-chan.
  �Ran-chan... don�t go.� He looks over his shoulder at me, then 
calls out the door at the others.
  �Uh... Pop?  Mom?  Mr. Tendo?  Yeah, I�m gonna be a while yet.
Okay, sure.  I�ll catch you all later.�  He walked back over to 
my bedside, and took my hand.
  �Y�know, Kuno�s right.  We all knew this was coming, and I�m still
not ready for it.�
  I try to smile.  �So you were just gonna walk away, because you 
didn�t know what else to do?�
  �Hey!�  Defensively, then softer: �Am I really that insensitive?�
  

  �Ran-chan... could you do me a favor?�
  �Uh.. sure.  Anything you want, Ucchan.�
  �Ran-chan... Could you.. make love to me?  One last time?�  He 
dropped my hand, abruptly.
  �I.. I couldn�t do that, Ucchan.�
  �And why not? <cough, cough>�
  �Well..� he fidgets nervously, �you�re dying.�
  �I�m dying.. ha.  Ran-chan, that�s why we got married in the first
place.  I don�t know if you said �yes� out of pity or real love, but
I took what I could get.  And I wanna thank you for it.  But don�t 
leave me here.  I don�t wanna die alone.
  �I don�t know who said it, but I once heard that making love was 
�like kicking death in the ass while singing.�  And after having you,
I believe it.  And I love it.  So if I�m going to die, I don�t want 
to go gently.  I want to go kicking and singing.  And I want to do 
it with you.  Please.  I know the exertion�ll probably kill me, but 
it�s the only way I could imagine going.�
  He blinks a couple of times.  �Is this what you really want, Ucchan?�
  I nod.  �You are.�

  This is it.  My final impression of my husband, and his of me.  I�m
sure I have the better view.  Naked came I into the world, and naked
shall I leave it.  I just wish I could leave a better-looking corpse.
At least for his sake.  He looks like a god, standing there.

  And now... he enters.
  Even with the painkillers, it hurts, and I can�t keep myself from 
crying.  Ran-chan, the darling, can�t help but notice.  He pauses.
  �Are you okay, Ucchan?�
  What a question.  I laugh, even through the pain, even through 
the shortness of breath.  �No, of course I�m not, Ran-chan.  But 
I love you, and I love it.  Please, don�t stop now.�
  �All right.  Hold on, Ucchan!  Ungh!�

***

  He can�t hold on much longer -- I can feel it.  Neither can I. 
Both my strength and resistance are ebbing away.  Please, let me 
hold on long enough for him to --
  �Come on - ugh! - Ran-chan.  Let - oh! - let it go.  Let muh-muh-
meee gooooo!!�  Oh, Lord.  Here it comes.  The light is getting 
brighter; it�s like a halo around him.  With a convulsive effort,
I force my arms up, and wrap them around him.  The feel of my hands 
on his back spurs him on.
  �UCCHAN!!�  he cries out, and I know he�s gone over the edge.  
His warm life force pours into me, even as mine is draining away. 
I can barely see him now for the light shining from behind him.
  �Thank you Ran-chan,�  I sigh.  I�m on my way, now.  Good-bye, 
my darling.  Take care of Akane-chan for me.  �Thank you for ev --�

***

Gone beyond the gate / that we must all pass someday
You took a part of me / a broken heart left here to play
this sad, sweet music.
The air that I breathe.. fills me with longing
I thought that I saw.. your face in the crowd
But that couldn�t be.. �cause you walk beyond the stars

One more time.. / I�d love to see you, my friend
One more time.. / Wish I could hold your hand
One more time.. / I�d look into your eyes
Tell you �I love you� / One more time..

Here, inside a dream / I see you, standing on a hill
You smile, and turn away / Now I must go / The air is filled
with sad, sweet music.
I open my eyes.. and I feel the longing
I thought that I heard.. your voice call my name
But that couldn�t be.. �cause you walk beyond the stars

One more time.. / I�d love to see you, my friend
One more time.. / Wish I could hold your hand
One more time.. / I�d look into your eyes
Tell you �I love you� / One more time.. 

�One More Time� by Terry Scott Taylor
from _Knowledge_&_Innocence_ (c1986 Shadow Records)

Dedicated to Petra Weiss  (in pace requiescat)