On Sat, 20 Sep 1997, Jeanne Hedge wrote:
A couple typos, but a pretty good opening. Of course, I've a few other
comments ^_^
Now, the last survivor of the Russian royal family was on his
train. A young girl named Anastasia Romanov, and her uncle, Sergei.
I think we've had this conversation before, but I don't remember the outcome.
Wasn't the family name Romanoff, or was that an Anglicazation? And if it's
Romanov, being female, wouldn't she be Romanova?
Romanoff and Romanov are the same name, depending on the Anglicization you
use, like Tendo and Tendou :)
The name is actually spelled with one of Cyrillic's funkier characters.
And you only change the ov to ova with a true patronymic rather than a
family name, I think. (If it is meaning daughter of so and so, rather
than a patronymic turned into a long term family name). But my knowlege
of russian linguistics being highly fuzzy...
(Yes, I know... this would tip your hand about Nene's ancestors a bit too
early?)
That too.
Or perhaps it began a hundred years later, somewhere in Japan.
<snip>
Dr. Stingray parked his car in the garage and unloaded a very large
crate. He could barely move it on his own. His daughter, Celia, helped
his son, Macky, get out of the car. Celia was twelve and Macky was six
Just have to be different, huh? ^_^ 99% of the world calls them Sylia and
Mackie (thank you, AnimEigo <g>)
The name Sylia ANNOYS me, tremendously. I much prefer Celia. As to why,
I couldn't say.
Are you being literal with that 100 years, btw? If so, Sylia would be 8
(born 2010), and Mackie somewhere between 1 and 3 (conflicting material on
his year of birth, either 2015 or 2017)
Almost literal. I think this is 2020 in my timeline.
But we shall begin here, in Mega-Tokyo, in the year 2034...
Er... does/has Crash happen(ed) in this universe? (an important question
Crash doesn't happen because I can't remember it clearly enough and I was
annoyed that Largo returned from the dead :)
I don't despise it, but it contained nothing I wanted and lots that I
didn't want. So I'm ignoring it :0
suddenly jolt, yawn, and sit up. Where am I?, she thought, then rather
I don't think you need both the '?' and the ',' in unquoted material such as
thoughts. IMO, the question mark by itself is fine
Nod.
She turned on the small TV in her office. The 'Live Action News
Crew' of Channel 52's newscopter was broadcasting live footage of what
rather distinctly looked like a middle-aged woman in a hospital gown
<snip>
"Three boomers trying to kill some boomer that looks like an old woman and
fires energy beams. She's already killed two boomers. That we know of."
Is she 'old' or 'middle-aged'?
middle-aged. The authorial voice is objective (In this case :)), the
quote is in the speaker's opinion.
The ADPolice squads crashed into the mall through the east entrance
as the Boomers chased the woman into Victoria's Secret's newest store in
Japan. Soon, bits of underwear were flying everywhere.
Less competition for Sylia ^_^
Heh. Maybe she planned it...naaah :)
The need to get the civilians out of the way slowed down the ADPolice
squads. By the time they got everyone out of the way, the boomers and
I might have worded this differently, so as not to have 'out of the way'
used in consecutive sentences
Right. I'll fix 'dat.
high grade models, 56-C, designed for Polar Combat conditions. While they
Is this a typo? The basic blue boomer in BGC was the 55C
This is the next model? :)
Pretty much, I always forget model #, so I tend to make them up as I go
along.
"This place is a maze", Linna said over her radio.
Who cares about a maze. Blow the racks over!
Heh.
The Sabres zoomed about through S-mart. After a few minutes, Daley
<snip>
Meylia stared at herself in the mall bathroom mirror. What's
It never occurred to anyone to look in the ladies room?
She circled out of the store and around to a bathroom. Good point,
though.
Macky nodded. "I'd really like to be able to talk to her...she's
been in the coma since I was really tiny."
Well, since you were 6 anyway. Or 4. ; )
I'll have to check my timeline...I think I have him born in 2016,
splitting the difference...:)
John Walter Biles : MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu
rhea@tass.org http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/
It sought to scour him to ash, but he would not burn. It tried to
crush him, but he would not be broken. It tried to blow him away, but he
would not move. He locked his mind around it and struck back with his
anger, binding it with the power within himself. He had gone beyond
rage, into the calm at the heart of the hurricane of his anger. By
turning his anger outward, he mastered it, and now he did the same for
the power.
--from 'Power', the first third of my
unfinished story, 'Parallel Lives'.