First off, I'm sorry if there are any spellin' or grammar errors.
You may consider this akin to a lemon, but it really isn't. It depends how YOU
interpret the dialog ;P

The humor in here is a bit....crude....like that 'A bathroom experience' I
recently posted. If you liked that, ya might like this....if ya didn't, then
this is nothing like it so read it anyway ;)

Enough rantings. Here's the story. Comments are welcomed. 
Enjoy ^_^



Jeffrey "OneShot" Wong

Ranma 1/2: Total misunderstandings



(Ranma is in Ranma's room. Ranma's trying to get into a tuxedo for his 
high school dance. At that moment, a pebble hits his window. Ranma walks 
over to it and opens the window and looks out. Ukyo is standing outside, 
below his window)

Ranma:Hiya, Ucchan.(Notices she's dressed nicely)I see you're dressed 
for the dance also.
 
Ukyo:(Hops up and enters room from window)Of course, Ranchan. I wouldn't 
want to miss this dance for the world. Of course, you're going to save 
me a dance, right?

Ranma:Um.of course.

Ukyo:(Notices Ranma is only in his shorts and shirt)How come you're not 
dressed?

Ranma:I can't get into my tux. I'm having trouble.

(Akane is in her room, almost finished getting dress)

Akane:(Looks in mirror)Wow, this dress looks beautiful. I can't wait 
till the dance.

(Back in Ranma's room)

Ukyo:How can you have trouble putting a tux on? It's so easy. Just be 
careful.

Ranma:Well, now that you're here. Give me a hand here. Can ya get me my 
shoes?

Ukyo:(Hands him shoes)Here ya go.

Ranma:(Tries to put it on)Ugh. Ugh.

(Akane, finally dressed for the dance, exits from her room and is about 
to knock on Ranma's door but stops when she hears what sounds like 
moaning)

Akane:(Thinkin)What's going on in there?(Puts ear to door and listens)

(Inside Ranma's room, Ranma is trying to get one shoe on his foot while 
Ukyo is trying to put the other foot.)

Ranma:Damn, this is hard. It won't fit.

Ukyo:(Holds shoe)Just push harder.

Ranma:Okay. I'm just scared of breaking it.

Ukyo:All you have to do is loosen it. That's all.(Taps Ranma's foot)Then 
it'll be easier to get it in.

Ranma:(Tries to put shoe on again)Ugh. It still won't fit.

Ukyo:(Jokes)Maybe we oughta rub some oil on it so it'll slide in easier.

Ranma:Ha ha. Real funny. C'mon, we have to hurry up. Akane'll be ready 
any minute.

Ukyo:What do you want me to do?

Ranma:You push. I'll just keep myself stiff and it should be easier. All 
this moving around is making it harder.

Ukyo:No. You push. I'll try and keep still. I'll just hold it.(Holds 
shoe tightly)

(Outside, Akane's hands are clenched into fists)

Akane:.....

(Inside Ranma's room, Ranma finally gets his shoes on. Now he's trying 
to put on his tie)

Ranma:Ugh.(Struggles to get tie on right)Ugh.

Ukyo:(Shakes head)Here, lettme try it.

Ranma:Watch it. If you you're gonna pull it off.

Ukyo:Sorry. I thought you like it to be tight.

Ranma:Nah. Loose is okay. I don't mind.

Ukyo:Well, I'm not used to this. I've never really done this before. 
Man, this is hard.

Ranma:Of course it's hard. What do you expect?(Tries to fix tie 
again)You think I'll ever get used to this?

Ukyo:Yeah. Practice makes perfect.(Notices Ranma's tense shoulders and 
places a hand on his shoulder)Man, you're tense. Will ya just loosen up 
already?(Tries to fix tie)

Ranma:Me loosen up?(Pretending to be choking on tie) You loosen 
up.(Smiles)

Ukyo:Fine. I'll loosen it up.(Loosens tie)How's that?

Ranma:Much better.

Ukyo:You're still tense, ya know.

Ranma:(Shrugs his shoulders)I'm not used to it that's all. Well, at 
least I'm not as tense when I try doin' this by myself.

(Outside, Akane is still listening)

Akane:(To herself)H-he-he ma-mastur..

(Inside the room)

Ukyo:You've done this by yourself?

Ranma:Of course. If there's no one here to help, I hafta do this by 
myself. And I've done this many many times.(Thinking)So how come I STILL 
can't put a tuxedo on right?

Ukyo:Well, if you've done this many many times, you should be a natural.

Ranma:.....

Ukyo(Chucks him his jacket)Here. Put this on.

Ranma:I don't wanna put this on.

Ukyo:Why not?

Ranma:I don't like it. It'll also looks weird on me.

Ukyo:Just put it on. 

Ranma:(Sighs)Fine(Quickly puts it out and extends arm out)This is very 
constricting. Heck, it even restricts blood flow. Well, how do I look?

Ukyo:(Laughs)You look nice. Even though you don't really like wearing 
it. I would prefer seeing you wearing it than not. That's all.

Ranma:(Notices wrinkles)Damn, it's wrinkled.

Ukyo:Of course it's wrinkled. What did you expect? You haven't worn this 
in, what, over a year.

Ranma:.....Well, that's why I don't wanna wear it.

Ukyo:(Glares)Well don't take it off. Keep it on.

Ranma: (Shrugs his shoulders)Shrugs his shoulders.(Yawns)

Ukyo:You look tired.

Ranma:That's because I am.

Ukyo:(Reaches into purse and produces a bottle of pills)Take these.

Ranma:(Looks at bottle)What're these?

Ukyo:Pills.

Ranma:I know. What are they for?

Ukyo:It'll help keep you up.

Ranma:Really? Well, I shouldn't really use these. Can't you get addicted 
to them?

Ukyo:Only if you use them constantly. Just use it this once. It'll be 
all right.

Ranma:Okay.

(Ranma opens bottle and takes a pill)

Ranma:(Sarcastically)Wow, I can feel myself on the up and up already.

Ukyo:(Smirk)Very funny. Just wait a few moment. It'll kick in soon 
enough.

Ranma:Well, now what?

(Ukyo shows him the cummerbund. Ranma shrugs his shoulders and extends 
his arms out so Ukyo could wrap it around his waist)

(Akane, still listening, is now fuming)

Ranma:(Chuckles)Hey, that tickles.

Ukyo:Hold still. Quit squirming.

Ranma:I'm squirming because of your hands.

Ukyo:Whatever. 

(Ukyo smiles as she flicks Ranma's tie into his face)

Ranma:Hey. Don't do that.

Ukyo:You mean this(Flicks tie into Ranma's face again)

Ranma:Hey, quit it.(Straightens tie)Hey quit playing with this. It's 
gonna sag if you keep flicking it like that.

Ukyo:(Chuckles)I can't help it.(Feels fabric of tie in hands)I like the 
way this feels in my hand. 

Ranma:Yeah. So?

Ukyo:It feels like silk. I love the way silk feels. It's so soft.

Ranma:(Smiles)If you like it so much, why not go out and buy one 
yourself?

Ukyo:I don't want to. I like yours. I want yours.

Ranma:(Feels fabric)Wow, it really is soft.

Ukyo:Told you.

Ranma:It does feel nice.(Inspects tie more intently)I never really 
looked at this carefully but it really is nice.

Ukyo:I've bought a few.

Ranma:(Points to his tie)You mean bought a few like this?

Ukyo:Well, not like yours. They're not all that great.

Ranma:Oh?

Ukyo:(Straightens Ranma's tie)Well, I only use `em occasionally.

Ranma:Did you like those? I only have one, as you can see.

Ukyo:Yeah. I have a whole bunch of them. Large, small, skinny, and long 
ones. I like yours the best. It's the perfect size. 

Ranma:(Shrugs his shoulders)Well, you're welcome to use it anytime ya 
like if that'll make you happy.

Ukyo:(Hugs Ranma)Thanks.

(At that moment, Akane has heard enough)

Akane:That's it. I heard enough.(Produces a mallet out of nowhere and 
breaks the door open)Ranma!!!

(Inside, she's Ukyo and Ranma hugging each other. Actually, it was only 
Ukyo hugging Ranma but rage kept her from seeing clearly)

Ranma:I-It's not what you think, Akane.

Akane:It's not what I think?!! I heard you and Ukyo talk!!!! BAKA!!!!!

(Camera fades to black as we see Akane mallet Ranma into orbit)


<End for now>



     Well, there's yet another fanfic. I hold you liked reading this. I 
hope this was humorous enough to merit a response. Anyway, I'd like to 
thank Rumiko Takahashi for creating Ranma, and that I would never 
infringe on her works. I know. I know. The story itself it rather crude 
and very lemony in tones, but you can't actually call this a lemon 
simply because this story had nothing to do with sex ;) Also, I'd like 
to apologize for any spelling or grammar errors.


				Jeffrey "OneShot" Wong


<Bye>


What didja think? I'm pretty sure I can add a bit more to it....

-OneShot
Jeffrey Keith Wong: jeffwong@li.net
http://www.rit.edu/~jkw7063/fanfic/index.htm
http://www.li.net/~jeffwong/index.htm
The latter site has been updated on Sept19th.