Subject: [Ranma/Xanth] Wild Horse Chase part 1
From: Sariah DeGidio
Date: 9/18/1997, 12:34 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

Wild Horse Chase 
part 1

By Sariah D. Gidio
A S.P.A.M. Production


     Ryouga Hibiki was angry.  Not only was he lost once again but he
was stuck as P-chan.  He hated being stuck as P-chan.  People either
tried to cuddle him or eat him.  Now, he really did not mind being lost
any more, that he was used to.  It was just the area he was in was
really weird.  The bugs were weird, the animals were weird and he was
sure that a tree had tried to grab him.  <Curse you Ranma!> he
squealed.  Ryouga was not quite sure how this was Ranma's fault but, he
knew, that some how it was.
     <What's the matter friend pig?> came a voice from the nearby bush. 
At first he saw nothing and then a strange pig-like creature appeared
out of nowhere.  Its body and head had a pyramid-like shape and its face
and all the features on it were triangles.  
     Ryouga looked at it strangely and asked, <What in the heck are
you?>
     <Why I'm a por-sine and I'm trying to get an angle on your
problem.>
     <How the heck did you appear out of nowhere?>
     <I was in a see-cant, though if a friend had been with you, it
would be a co-see-can't.> 
     Ryouga looked at him confused.  <Right.  Okay.  Well, my problem
right now is I can't find my way.  I never can.  I get lost everywhere,>
said Ryouga exasperated.  Normally he would not complain to a complete
stranger like this (probably since he had never seen a stranger as
strange as this) but he was highly exasperated.
     <Why don't you go to Good Magician Humphry?  He can Answer any
Question.  If you ask him how to find your Way, he'll tell you,> the
por-sine said like everyone should know this information.
     <How do I find this guy?>
     The por-sine looked at Ryouga like he had just asked the most
obvious question on the earth.  <You go to his castle in southern Xanth
and if you get in you are eligible for an answer.>
        <Thank you,> said Ryouga as he began walking north.
        <What a strange looking creature,> mumbled the por-sine as he
retreated to his see-cant.  <Maybe he's related to an arc-varc and likes
to take the round about way.>

        Ryouga never made it to Humphry's.  But, he did make it back to
Nerima (which had been his goal initially).  Once there, he found his
way to the Nekohanten and asked Cologne about Humphry.  Of course she
knew about him (Cologne knows about everything, right?) and knew how to
get there.  While she was talking to Ryouga about this, Mousse and
Shampoo were listening in (covertly, of course).  At this same time
Akane, Ranma, and Ukyou just happened to be coming to the restaurant to
inquire about some _spiced_ ramen that had mysteriously appeared at the
Tendo Dojo.  Consequently, they all heard about Xanth and Good Magician
Humphry.  Each had thoughts cross their minds at the same time.
        'I could ask him how to make Shampoo love me!' Mousse's glasses
fogged up like Dr. Tofu's.
        'He can tell Shampoo how to catch Ranma!'  Shampoo developed a
predatory glint in her eyes.
     'I could learn to cook!'  Akane began a fantasy of a certain
pigtailed fiancee eating her food, and liking it.
        'Never gonna be a girl again.  Never gonna be a girl again...' 
Ranma almost reached the dancing part of this routine.
        'Ranchan could be mine!'  Ukyou clapped her hands under her chin
and became starry-eyed.
        Each came out of their private fantasies at the same time and
burst into announcing, "We're coming too!" thusly knocking Ryouga off
his chair and causing Cologne to raise an eyebrow at them.
        "Are you sure you all want to come?  This land called Xanth is
nothing like anything any of you have experienced.  Not much of it makes
sense and there is much powerful magic there.  It is a very dangerous
place."
          Various cries of bravado were heard from the various
individuals intending to embark on this journey as Cologne rolled her
eyes. 'They have no idea what they are getting into.'  Then she spoke. 
"If it is your intention to journey to Xanth, meet here at 7:00 tomorrow
morning.  We must first travel by train to the southern tip of Honshu. 
Be ready on time or we will leave without you."
          This agreed, they split up and went to their respective
homes.  Mousse and Shampoo went upstairs.  Ukyou headed in the direction
of her shop.  Akane, despite Ranma's grumbling, invited Ryouga to stay
at her house for the night so he would not get lost.  Ryouga just
blushed and began following her home.  Familiar cries of "Baka!" and
"Tomboy!" could be heard as this group headed to the dojo.
          Cologne sighed and began to prepare for the procedures she
would have to preform the next day.

          In Xanth, Beauregaurd appeared in Humphry's study.  Humphry
sniffed and looked up saying, "To what do I owe this honor,
Beauregaurd?"
          The addressee of this question responded, "You are going to
have some mundane visitors soon and they need guides through Xanth."
          "One year of service in advance."
          "I'm under direct orders from the Demon X(A/N)th.  Neither of
us wants to anger him."
          Humphry 'humphed' and looked in his Book of Answers under
"Guides."  Snuffling some more, he wrote two notes and selected three
vials and one bottle, carefully labeling the vials. "Deliver these to
Bink, Chameleon, and Grundy Golem.  Give each person the vial with their
name on it and the bottle to Bink and Chameleon.  They will know what to
do."  With that, he turned back to his tome and preceded to ignore
Beauregaurd.

          The notes and vials were delivered.  The vials contained one
programmed teleport spell each.  The bottle contained something else.

     Grundy Golem read the note addressed to him and grimaced.  'Be a
guide to a group of Mundanes!  That shriveled up old gnome!  He knows
that Rapunzel and I are waiting for the stork to deliver!  What if he
delivers while I'm not there?  I better be getting something good out of
this.'
     With those thoughts, he waited until the appointed time, bid
Rapunzel a "See you later," and forced the vial open.

     Bink and Chameleon read their letter and smiled.  
     Bink glanced at his wife and commented, "I guess we get one last
adventure before we fade out."
     Chameleon just smiled and said, "And Humphry even gave us a way to
enjoy it like ones we had when we were younger."  Her response would
have been more intelligent yesterday but she was heading into her
pretty/stupid phase.  
     Bink divided the liquid in the bottle into two equal parts and
handed one container to his wife. They splashed themselves with the
water.  Bink picked up his sword and looked at his newly youthened wife
and responded, "It was nice of him to provide the Youth Elixir."
     They waited until the appointed time and opened their vials.

     The next morning in Nerima the entire group of sleepy-eyed
travelers gathered at the Nekohanten and departed for the southern tip
of Honshu.


End Part 1