Tuxedo Mars
by Mark Doherty(mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au)

Shortfic? Sillyfic? Prelude to a 20 chapter opus?

Don't ask. Just don't ask. I honestly wish I'd been drunk or suffering from
lack of sleep or something when I wrote this, but I have no such excuse.
The saddest thing is, it wouldn't surprise me if someone else has already
done this one. If someone has already done it, then they're a sad, strange
little person. ^_^

And another Sailor Moon fic. Oh well, whatever works, I guess. C&C welcome.

Sailor Moon and associated characters/background were created by
Naoko Takeuchi. No disrespect is intended in their use. No, really,
I mean that. Don't look at me that way.

++++++++++++++++

The gods give, the gods take away. Their gifts are mighty, and mortal
minds were not meant to examine their munificence. Their divine will
empowers us all, they can do no wrong. For are they not...

Oh, let's face it. Sometimes the gods just screw up.

++++++++++++++++

In heaven, specifically the department of Gifts From the Gods, two dieties
bumped into each other, accidentally spilling the contents of their
folders all over the floor. After a bit of apologising, and a promise to
meet later for drinks and a bit of smiting, the two gods cleaned up the
mess of papers as best they could, putting them back into the folders they
thought were the right ones.

A few mixups occured with the gifts from the gods.

A letch from Tomobiki was born with the ability to see through anything,
instead of the ability to survive shocking amounts of damage. Sure, he
lived a far shorter life because of it, but at least he died smiling.

A martial artist who eventually lived in Nerima was born with a whole bag
of extra gifts, including a romantic backbone, an ability to think before
speaking, extraordinary intelligence, and humility. He still couldn't solve
his fiance troubles.

And in Juuban...

++++++++++++++++

"Naru-chan? She's in danger!"

"You are now Sailor Moon, Usagi-chan! Go help her!"

++++++++++++++++

The temple maiden screwed her eyes shut. There was something calling to
her, tearing at her, demanding she do something. Somebody needed her help.

She gritted her teeth. The feeling just wouldn't go away, she had to do
something. She reached into her robes, pulling out the rose she had picked
from the temple gardens that morning.

++++++++++++++++

"Who is that?" The youma looked at the tuxedo-clad figure, wary of the
new foe. First this Sailor Moon person, and now another one?

"I am Tuxedo Mars. Stop being such a crybaby, Sailor Moon. Whining to
the youma isn't going to help."

"Wha? Why are you picking on me!? I didn't even want to be Sailor Moon!
Waaaahhhhhhhh!"

Tuxedo Mars and Luna sweatdropped.

"Use your tiara, Sailor Moon!" Luna cried out. "Say 'Moon Tiara Action',
and then throw it!"

"Why do I have to that?" Sailor Moon asked the cat. At the same time,
Tuxedo Mars was sneaking up on the youma, cane ready to strike in one hand,
a spirit ward in the other.

"Just do it!" Luna cut off further argument from her new charge.

Sailor Moon gave in to the cat, throwing the tiara at the youma with a
cry of "Moon Tiara Action!" The youma was hit by the glowing disc, and
crumbled into dust.

Tuxedo Mars blinked, before lowering the cane. "Not bad, Sailor Moon.
Maybe you're not a complete ditz after all." The masked figure waved,
before flying through a nearby open window.

"Yes, good job, Sailor Moon." Luna added.

Sailor Moon sighed. "What a man..."

"Ummm..." Luna fidgeted, not an easy thing for a cat. "Are you sure that
was a man? I mean, he was wearing a man's suit, but he sure looked a bit
padded in certain areas, if you know what I mean..."

++++++++++++++++

In an apartment a few streets away, a nineteen year old college student
sat staring at a red pen in his hand.

"Perhaps this thing holds the key to unlocking my memories." he mused.
"It did just appear from nowhere one day, after all."

"It's strange. Whenever I hold it, I feel words in my head, just waiting
to be said." He thought about it, before he decided. "Why not? What's the
worst that can happen?"

He stood, held the pen up, and shouted "Mars power make up!"

Light exploded, and a new super hero was born.

"Such a feeling of power... Say, why is it so drafty in here all of a
sudden? And why does it feel like I'm wearing high heels?"

There was a slight pause, as realisation set in. And then, the screaming
started.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

What do people think? Should this travesty be continued, or should I
slink back to I'm Here to Help, and actually finish off that %&$^!^$
100% Woman (Writers block sucks, do you know that? Especially when you've
only got it for one storyline.)



************  
Mark Doherty  -  mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au
The Weekly FFML Synopses Lists are at:
http://www.uq.edu.au/~zzhdoher

My fanfics will be back on the web sooner or later.

"Time grows short, but I remain tall."