Okay, it is (in my timezone, at least) no longer my birthday ...
I had entertained vague hopes of getting this released before the day
passed.  Ah well.  Such are the vagaries of fate.

	A while ago, White Wolf asked a variety of FFML authors to submit
a short parody of their work, using the set up of RpM's "The SurReal
World" as a starting point.  Unfortunately, nothing seems to have come of
this -- White Wolf said he'd be releasing the compiled parodies on
September 1, and he hasn't replied to my mail on the subject.

	It is to be remembered that the most recent draft of "The SurReal
World" has Nuku Nuku kissing Urd to see what it's like.  As is
appropriate, I blew this out of proportion in my fic.

---------

	Washu stretched as she stepped out of the portal from the house
in Tokyo to the Masaki household.  As fun as it was to observe the antics
of her housemates, she felt a definite need to come back and give her
errant daughter some motherly affection.

	And do some tests ...

	She wandered down to the kitchen, noticing as she did that
everything seemed unusually peaceful.  There was actually a strange aura
of calm about the place.  It was surprising, considering the notorious bad
tempers of two of its usual inhabitants ...

	Washu was even more surprised when she saw Tenchi hard at work in
the kitchen.  He was chopping up carrots and humming a nice tune.

	"Tenchi-dono?" she asked, blinking.

	"Ah!  Washu-chan!" he said, turning and smiling warmly.  "How are
you enjoying Tokyo?  We've all been watching your show, it's very
entertaining!"

	"Uh, fine, thank you ... Tenchi-dono, are you *cooking*?"

	Tenchi nodded enthusiastically.  "Sasami-chan is ... well, I
thought she was working a little too hard, so I decided to help out."

	Washu smiled.  He was *such* a nice guy.  It was really no
surprise that all the girls who called this place home -- and a certain
pair who lived in town -- had fallen helplessly for him.  Including, Washu
thought with a certain amount of regret, herself.

	But that thought led inevitably to another.  "Tenchi-dono, where
are Aeka and Ryoko?"

	Tenchi thought for a moment.  "Hm.  I think they're probably off
taking a walk in the woods together."

	"Together?" Washu asked, startled.

	Tenchi nodded ... and then a look of understanding dawned on his
face.  "Oh, that's right.  You weren't here when they finally admitted
that they were in love with each other."

	Washu's jaw dropped.  "Wha ... wha ..."  It had been several
millenia since she'd been this surprised.

	"Yes, Aeka finally admitted that the real reason she said that she
thought Ryoko was ugly was because she couldn't deal with how beautiful
she actually found her, and Ryoko admitted that she only thought of me as
a little brother ... it was very moving."

	"Well.  Well, that's ... nice," Washu said.  "Anything else
interesting happen while I was away?"

	"Well, Mihoshi and Kiyone came by to tell us that they were
getting married."

	This *was* surprising, though not nearly surprising as the other
news had been.  "Really?  I thought Kiyone hated Mihoshi ..."

	"Oh no!  She was just annoyed that someone she loved so much kept
pretending to be so stupid and inept.  Mihoshi's real self is a lot
brighter and competent.  She actually reminds me of you, Washu-chan!"

	Washuu blinked.  Now there was a phrase that she'd never expected 
to hear.  

	"Oh ... there is one other thing."  Tenchi blushed.  "I found
someone to love too."

	"Oh?" asked Washu as she felt her heart shatter into billions of
pieces.

	"Yeah!  I'm sure that you'll *love* him!  He's great!"  Turning to
the corridor, he called out.  "Makoto-chan!  There's someone I want you to
meet!"

	"Hai!" came a very definitely male voice.

	Washu reeled.  This was unbelievable.  She'd come home to find out
that everything had changed completely ... everything but ...

	She heard a step behind her.

	Washu turned around slowly.

	Sasami was barefoot, dressed only in a sleeveless tabard belted
around her waist, showing off a lot of leg ... and staring up at her with
naked desire in her eyes.  "Washu-oneesama ..." she breathed softly.

	"Agh!" Washu cried as she awoke.  She made a silent oath to never,
EVER eat flarn before taking a nap again ... especially not after watching
Urd and Nuku-Nuku make out ...

Coming Soon:  THE (Sur)REAL WORLD:  LESBIAN EPISODES!

	That day, Mamoru showed up for breakfast with a haunted
expression.  "Hey, what's wrong Tux Boy?" Urd asked while crunching on
some Cereal Crispies.

	Mamoru didn't even bother rising to the taunt.  "Oh, nothing.
Nothing at all."  He paused.  "Unless you think that my girl friend
admitting that she's in love with someone else is a sign of trouble in our
relationship."

	"What?" Ataru said.  "Your girl's cheating on you with another
guy?"

	Mamoru fixed the Sukebe from Tomobiki with a glare.  "Actually,
no.  She's in love with one of her best friends ... another girl.  I
suppose it's my own fault for leaving her alone so long ..."

	Reactions to this news varied.

	Ranma immediately felt ill.  His homophobic tendencies were very
strong, and the fact that he still felt attracted to -- uh, girls other
than a certain uncute unsexy macho tomboy when he was female only added
to them, rather than destroying them.  The thought that a certain uncute
unsexy macho tomboy might try to find comfort in the arms of another woman
caused a brief stabbing pain in his stomach, but it was relieved shortly
by the realization that if no *man* could possibly want someone as uncute
unsexy and macho as she was, what *woman* would either?

	Ataru immediately thought of Lum doing things with Shinobu,
Ryuunosuke, Benten, Oyuki, Lan, and a number of other girls -- for some
reason, Noa Izumi from the anime Mobile Police Patlabor was among them --
and collapsed drooling.

	Kyosuke immediately thought of Ayukawa and Hikaru-chan together
... and calmed himself.  It was a ridiculous idea.  They were JUST best
friends.  There was no reason to think otherwise.  On the other hand,
presumably, Mamoru had thought the same thing about *his* girl friend and
*her* best friend ... and for some reason, Mamoru reminded Kyosuke of
himself ...

	Washuu immediately thought of her nightmare from last night, and
shuddered, while looking at Ataru and wondering how in the world he'd been
able to dehydrate himself that swiftly.

	Nuku-Nuku immediately blinked.  "Oh!  Tux Boy's girlfriend was
doing the same things we were doing last night, Urd-sempai!" she said
aloud.

	Urd immediately gulped.  "Kids say the darnedest things, don't
they?"

AND LATER ON, MEET THE NEWEST RESIDENT!

	"Good day, my name is Daitokuji Biko, and -- good Lord, who is
*that* gorgeous creature?!"

	"Um ... Nuku-Nuku desu!"

	"SHE WILL BE MINE!"

--------

Chris Davies, Advocate for Darkness, Part-Time Champion of Light.
"Damn it all, how am I supposed to sit here and wallow in self-pity and
disgust with all this racket going on?" -- Yuusaku Godai, Maison Ikkoku.
http://www.ualberta.ca/~cdavies/hmpage.html