This is based on the Count Cain Series by Kaori Yuki (published hana to
yume) It's a very depressing angsty manga series, but I like it ^_^

Oh, and a bit of a yaoi situation...

Silk for a Birthday: By Monica Shin

	"Leif! Leif! Happy birthday!" Merriwether came running to the table,
upsetting a cup of coffee so that it fell onto the ground. She stopped and
looked down guiltily at the shards of ceramic on the ground and bent to
pick up the pieces, when Leif stopped her with a light hand to her shoulder.

	"Merriwether-sama, please let me do that. Your breakfast is getting 
cold, and I don't want you to get hurt." Leif smiled down at her, his silvery
hair glinting in the sunlight coming from the glass windows near the table.

	Merriwether looked up at him and nodded with a hint of guilt. "I'm 
sorry, Leif. Making you do this on your birthday..." She sighed and looked up
at him through the fall of her honey colored hair, remorse showing in her 
blue eyes.

	Leif gave her a gentle smile and replied, "Don't worry yourself,
Merriwether-sama. Truly, it doesn't matter very much to me. After all, a
birthday is just another day."

	Cain looked at his valet in surprise as he stepped into the dining 
room, having overheard this little conversation. "Leif, it's your birthday? 
Why didn't you tell me?" 

	Merriwether jumped out of her chair and flung herself at her brother.
"Cain-oniisama! Let's give Leif a party! Please? Just for the three of us?"
Her blue eyes met his hazel ones, and for a moment the sunlight made the
golden flecks within his sparkle. 

	Smiling down at Merriwether, Cain shrugged and replied, "Why not?" He
gave Leif a mock-stern look, and added, "Of course, that means that Leif is 
not allowed to do any more work. Right?" Merriwether nodded vigorously, and 
ran to pull Leif from his task on the ground. Leif looked like he was about 
to object for a moment, but then smiled and let Merriwether take him firmly 
in hand. 

	"Now... hmm. What does one need for a birthday party?" Cain mused a 
little as he looked around the room and at the sunlight outside. 

	Merriwether jumped up and answered, "Cake! You need cake, and food, 
and presents!" 

	Cain laughed, and said, "Well then, I'm going to bake a delicious 
cake, and Merri, you'll have to take care of the present, won't you?"

	Merriwether pursed her lips, and replied, "That's cheating, 
Cain-oniisama! You have to give him a present too! You better, or I'll bet 
Leif will get mad at you!" 

	Cain chuckled and gave Leif a teasing look, his eyes peeking out from
the sun-streaked chocolate curtain of his hair. "Would you be terribly angry 
if I didn't give you something?" 

	Leif didn't get to reply as Merriwether retorted, "Of course he'll be
angry! Come on, Leif! You're going with me so I can pick out the best
present for you!" Leif gave Cain a desperate look, to which Cain shrugged,
amusement shining out of his eyes. Merriwether ran out of the door, looking
for all the things she would need to go out, leaving Leif behind for the
moment.

	Looking out the door that Merriwether had just left through, Leif let
out a small breath, and asked, "Cain-sama... I hope that you weren't serious
about-" 

	Cain raised and eyebrow, and replied, "Baking a cake? How hard could 
it be?" Leif gazed at him for a moment, before closing his eyes. 

	"I do hope that you will let the servants assist you- and that 
you'll let them make the dinner..." 

	Cain grinned, enjoying the somewhat helpless aura that Leif was 
projecting at the moment. "Don't worry about it- I'll take care of 
everything, so have fun shopping with Merri." 

	As Leif looked as if he were going to say something, Merriwether 
burst into the room. "Leif! Come on!" Leif took control of himself, visibly
steeling himself before following Merriwether out the door. Cain couldn't
help laughing at the resigned air that Leif was projecting, and then called
for a maid.

---

	"Leif! Don't you think this would look nice on you?" 

	Leif looked at the rather delicate white silk shirt that Merriwether
was pointing to, and replied, "Ah. Well..." 

	Merriwether glanced at him slyly, and then added in a casual voice,
"Or perhaps on Cain-oniisama..."

	Leif nodded almost to himself, and mused out loud, "That really is 
more of Cain-sama's style... perhaps I should see if-" 

	Merriwether went on in an admiring tone, "Wow... amazing. You're 
still thinking about Cain-oniisama now? You really 'like' him, don't you?"
She put special emphasis on the word, wondering what he would say...

	Looking at the shirt, Leif replied with a distracted air. "Of course
I 'like' him..." He didn't seem to realize what he'd said, or how he'd said
it, as he glanced around at some of the other items on display in the shop
window. Merriwether smiled, satisfied, and nodded. 

	"Hmm... Okay, Leif. Why don't we go into-" Merriwether's energy 
seemed almost supernatural as she dragged Leif from store to store, finally
stopping at that men's clothing store from the beginning. With a lingering
glance inside, Merriwether declared, "This is what I'm getting you!
Something different to wear than what you always have on!" She laughed, 
apparently not hearing the weak protests Leif was making as she pulled him 
into the store...

---

	"Cain-sama..." 

	Cain looked up from what had been causing him intense concentration,
and asked, "Yes?" 

	The cook gave him a slightly uneasy look, and asked in a doubting
voice, "My lord... you are truly going to attempt to bake?" 

	Cain gave the woman a stern look, and replied in a self-assured, 
almost arrogant voice, "Of course! I did promise Merri."

	"Ah... then... sir, you may want to take the egg shells out of the 
bowl before you start to beat the eggs..." 

	Cain looked into the container he held in his hand, and pointed to 
the halves he had dropped into the mix. "Ahh. Those... you don't want them
in this?" 

	The cook gave him a truly stunned look, and said in a very patient
voice, "No, Cain-sama... you don't. Why don't you take them out?"

	As Cain occupied himself at that, the cook called her assistant 
over, and whispered, "Make sure he doesn't hurt himself... or make 
something that could poison everyone unintentionally." Her assistant nodded,
and then gazed at the young lord with a dubious look. 

	"Ah... Cain-sama. My assistant will help you prepare your cake, while
I prepare the dinner for- three, I believe?" 

	Cain nodded as he picked out the last few pieces of shell out of the 
bowl. "It's Leif’s birthday, and Merri wants to give him a little party... 
and don't worry. I won't make anything that's intentionally poisoned..." 
Cain smiled at the two women with a light smile that held the undercurrent
of darkness, making both want to step away for a moment.

	That is, until Cain asked in a slightly lost tone, "So, now what?
I'm assuming some kind of sugar or flour is going to be put in now..." The 
cook shook her head, while the assistant squared her shoulders, and went to
Cain's side. Taking the bowl from him gently, she started him something a
bit less challenging...

---

	"Cain-oniisama! We're home!" Merriwether's voice rang out through 
the house as she burst in, looking for her brother. Leif walked in behind 
her with arms full of boxes, looking just a touch bewildered. As he put the
packages onto a nearby table, Merriwether asked the maid who had opened the
door where Cain was.

	"The young master is still in the kitchen..." The young girl's voice
trailed off as she attempted to stifle the giggle that threatened to escape
her lips. After a bit of struggle, her composure won out and said with an
admirable poker face, "Attempting to bake a cake... for the last five
hours..."

	Merriwether's started to giggle, which set off the maid. Both of them
laughed for a moment, before Merriwether took a breath, and said, "I'll be
down there in a minute..." The maid nodded, and left to fulfill her other
duties. Merriwether looked at Leif, who had been watching the whole
exchange with a amused expression, and a mischievous smile crept up on her
face.

	"Leif, why don't you go put my present on? I'll make sure that I'll
have the party ready in about fifteen minutes... Cook should have already 
made dinner, so..." Leif nodded, and took the boxes to his room- having 
learned that keeping quiet when Merriwether was in one of her dictatorial 
moods was the best thing to do... 

	As Merriwether went into the kitchen, she found herself confronted 
by the sight of her floured, sugared and seasoned brother sitting at one 
end of the room. He was staring at the oven with the hopeful eyes of a 
child about to receive their Christmas gift, and his whole bearing was 
one of tense anticipation. Sneaking over to the cook, Merriwether asked, 
"How did Cain-oniisama do?" 

	The cook just closed her eyes, and replied, "Please don't do this 
to us again..." Merriwether stifled a giggle as she turned away from the 
older woman's rather haggard expression in order to pounce on her brother, 
who had still not noticed her.

	"Cain-oniisama! You don't have to watch it bake, you know. Don't you 
want to get cleaned up before we eat?" Cain started as he finally noticed
his sister, standing right next to him. She looked as if she was about to 
hug him, but seemed to decide against it for some reason... She smiled at 
him instead, and held out her hand. 

	Taking it, Cain stood up and let Merriwether tow him out of the 
kitchen, trusting that the kitchen staff would set up the table as he got 
ready. "Merri, did you have fun shopping?" 

	Merriwether laughed, and nodded. "A whole lot of fun, oniisama... 
Go take your bath! I'll make sure everything is all ready." Cain smiled a 
bit at Merriwether's eagerness, and then went to take his bath.

	About half an hour later, Cain had taken a quick bath and gotten 
himself dressed as if for a rather important society function. He had a 
feeling anything less would get him in trouble with Merri... He ran his 
hand through his hair and deciding that it being half wet was better than
nothing, went out the door.

	"Cain-oniisama! You're late!" Cain came down the stairs into the 
dining room, noticing that Leif and Merriwether were both seated at the 
table already. Merriwether had on her favorite sky-blue dress, while Leif 
had on the formal-wear which he wore on important occasions. 

	Merriwether pouted a little at Cain as he came down the stairs, and 
stood up with a fierce expression on her face. Cain bowed extravagantly 
before her and apologized, "My dear lady, I am dreadfully sorry to have 
come to your dinner affair in such a rude manner." 

	Merriwether smiled, and then tapped him on the head with a nearby 
spoon. "You're forgiven by me, but shouldn't you say sorry to Leif too?" 

	Cain smiled at Leif, who had been watching the rather silly scene 
with a smile from the food-laden table. The windows behind him were letting 
in the last moments of the sunset, washing Leif in a red-golden aura. 
The gentle expression through the shadows cast on his face made it so 
that somehow, Cain could not look away...

	"Cain-sama? Are you all right?" 

	Cain started as Leif stood from that perfect position, becoming 
merely his body servant again. "I'm fine... the light was just shining 
in my eyes for a moment." Shaking his head, Cain sat down and resolved to 
forget that strangely mystical being that had captured his mind for that 
brief moment...

	"Oniisama!" Merriwether's half-teasing, half-serious voice made him
remember what he had been supposed to do. 

	"Ah... right. Leif, do forgive my terrible rudeness in being tardy 
to your party." Leif smile grew a little wider as he saw Merriwether nod 
in satisfaction, and showed his acknowledgment in the laughing twinkle 
of his eyes.

	Cain noticed Merriwether eyeing the food rather hungrily, and 
laughed quietly. "Leif, do tell us that we may eat, or else I fear that 
my little sister may faint away at the table..." 

	Leif coughed slightly, hiding his smile, and replied, "Oh, please 
do." Merriwether giggled and stuck her tongue out at her brother before 
starting to eat.

	As the three had done some fairly strenuous things during the day,
the food was gone in a relatively short amount of time. During that dinner,
pleasant conversation was made, and it was the same as almost any other
dinner- that is, except that Leif was obviously not serving... The two
smiled indulgently and let Merriwether fill the room with her laughing
chatter, while they ate in basic quiet, contributing a few words here and
there.

	Finally, it was time for dessert. A maid came in to clear the dishes
away, before bringing in the cake that had been the fruit of a whole day's 
work. Merriwether looked at it rather dubiously, and then noted, "Well, it 
looks fine..." 

	Cain looked a little a as admitted, "Well, I didn't actually put the
frosting or the decorations it... but I did bake the cake."

	Merriwether, remembering the cook's expression, said with an almost 
forced smile, "Well, come on, Cain-oniisama! Cut us a piece!" Cain nodded, 
and then cut a slice each for all three of them. Cain and Merriwether looked
at their pieces rather suspiciously, both wondering if it was truly safe to 
eat. 

	Leif, noting the looks, smiled gently again. Unnoticed by the other 
two, he carefully ate a small piece of the cake. As he did so, Leif’s 
expression changed a little, becoming a bit more cautious as he gazed upon 
the remainder of his slice. Finally, the two looked up from their slices to
see Leif eating his with no signs of ill effect.

	"Ah... Leif, how is it?" Cain's voice held a peculiar mix of dread 
and curiosity as he watched Leif’s expression. Leif stayed quiet for a long
moment, making Cain's expression fall. "I see- well, I am sorry-" 

	Leif put his hand over Cain's and replied with a soft smile, "It's 
very good, Cain-sama. I'm surprised that it's this tasty from your first
attempt..."

	Merriwether looked at Leif with an expression of total disbelief, and
then tentatively tried her own piece. She chewed on it for a moment, and 
said, "Well... it kinda tastes normal..." She grinned impishly, and added, 
"But I'm positive that this can't be Cain-oniisama's first try. Right?"

	Cain grinned somewhat sheepishly, and said, "Tenth..." Merriwether
giggled, while Leif hid his smile behind a piece of cake. Cain took a bite
of his handiwork, chewing thoroughly as Merriwether had done. "You're
right, Merri... not bad, but not great..." 

	Glancing over at Leif, who had finished his piece, Cain said with a
touch of asperity, "You don't have to exaggerate quite that much, Leif. It's
not that good..." 

	Merriwether smiled and replied, "Well, a person who 'likes' someone
else always wants to say nice things about what that someone has done, 
right?"

	Cain blinked for a moment, and then said in a slightly distant 
voice, "I suppose..." Cain gazed at Leif with a faintly troubled expression 
on his face, while Leif avoided looking at Cain entirely, directing his 
vision toward the now-empty plate. 

	The silence stretched out for a minute, before Merriwether asked 
cheerily, "Leif, why aren't you wearing my present?"

	Cain seized at what Merriwether had said like a lifeline, and 
inquired in an all-too obviously forced voice, "Yes, Merri- what did you get
for Leif, anyway?" 

	Merriwether grinned at her brother, and replied, "Well, I actually 
wanted to get him a shirt, but he thought it was too-" She stopped and 
glanced at Leif, who looked away from her mischievous expression.

	"What? Too expensive?" 

	Merriwether looked back at her brother with a rather sly, almost
too-knowing look. "Too skimpy, actually..." Cain's eyes widened a little as
he looked incredulously at his grinning sister, remembering that she had
been living on the street before coming here...  Cain looked around
uncomfortably, and his gaze locked with Leif's over Merriwether's head.
Both of them looked away immediately, and started to blush very faintly. 

	Again, the oppressive silence enveloped the room until Merriwether 
said in an almost desperate voice, "So, anyway, I got him these really nice
silk pajamas... He thought that they were too fancy, but I thought that 
they would look really nice on him..."

	Cain replied, "Very nice, Merri. I'm sure Leif liked your gift very 
much." 

	Leif nodded, and told Merriwether, "Thank you very much for your
too-generous gift, Merriwether-sama. However, you can understand why I did
not wish to wear your present to dinner..."

	Merriwether grinned and replied, "Don't worry. I wasn't really 
expecting you to... but I wonder what Cain-oniisama would have said..." She 
glanced at her brother, and saw that he wasn't really listening to her. 
Sighing to herself, Merriwether looked at Leif and saw that he wasn't paying 
much attention anymore, either. With another sigh, she stood up from the 
table."Cain-oniisama, Leif, I'm going to bed now... Good night!" 

	Cain stood and gave her a hug, telling her, "Sleep well, Merri..." 

	Leif stood as well, and bowed to Merriwether. "Merriwether-sama, 
I thank you for your wonderful present and your kind wish to celebrate my 
birthday..."

	Cain nodded, and then asked in a puzzled voice, "Merri... how did you 
know about Leif's birthday?" 

	Merriwether gave him a haughty look, and stood herself tall. For a 
moment, she looked older than she was as she answered in a dark, mysterious 
voice, "You know what my powers are... do you think concealing anything from
me is possible?" 

	Cain grinned at her, and ruffled her hair, making it rather difficult
for her to project any kind of mystical presence. "Somehow, I think it was
probably due to you being in a room you shouldn't have been in..." 

	Merriwether blushed and stuck her tongue out at her brother before 
running up the stairs to her room. Cain shook his head, and then turned to 
face Leif. "Leif, you should go to sleep also. Don't worry- I can undress 
by myself, after all, and you deserve a day off." 

	Leif looked as if he was about protest, but then nodded and bowed. 
Leif ascended the stairs quietly, and Cain couldn't following Leif's form 
with his as Leif went up. For some reason...

	Cain shook his head and looked at the table. He knew that it would be
cleared after he left, with the net result of having the rest of his cake 
suitably disposed of...  Looking at the cake, Cain smiled wistfully as he
took a piece and popped it into his mouth. "It really isn't that good..." As
he said that, Cain could hear the words that Merriwether had said before.

	"Person he 'likes'..." For a moment, Cain stared at the candle 
flickering at the center of the table, lost in what that could mean. As he 
looked on, the light started to get fainter, until it finally went out. The 
thin wisp of smoke floated into the darkness that now surrounded him, 
disappearing into the night. With an almost sad smile, Cain left the rest 
of the cake and went up to find his own bed. 

	As Cain tried to fall asleep, he felt the faintest tugging of unease 
at his heart. Something had changed... but he just couldn't feel what. He 
made a note to himself to ask Merriwether if she could tell him anything, 
and closed his eyes. Staring up at the darkness behind his eyelids, he tried 
to put the feeling of strangeness acquired at Leif's party aside. 

	Drifting into the depths of sleep, Cain felt the sharp bite of cold
terror. He could feel another one of _those_ dreams coming, but he was too
far into the darkness to climb back out... *Why now? Why- Leif? Leif...
where are you?* As he searched in the blackness for a way out, Cain could
feel himself sinking in deeper, until-

---

	/Mother? Is that-/

	Flash of memory, of terror. Looking around wildly in a child's body, 
lying in a shadowed niche of a manicured garden. Gazing up, frozen in terror 
as a child's first terror came at him with mad eyes and sharp blade- 

	/Mother.../

	Cain shuddered as the tears came. Snatched from the warm garden to 
a dark room, he knew where he was instantly. The darkness taunted him, but
gave him comfort because when the light came, _he_ would be there- the 
creak of a door opening, the tread of boots on floor and carpet...

	/No... not this-/

	Bare chest against velvet, bracing himself for the coming pain. The
anticipation of the first strike, and the fulfillment of that promise- the
whistle of the whip in the air, and the biting impact tearing through skin,
through his self-imposed silence...

	/Please. Father, don't.../

	Crying out in pain and terror, Cain felt the tears streaming down 
his face. The whip came down again and again, until the blood-sated look 
was in his father's eyes. The madness mixed with the satisfaction made Cain
tremble again, and when he reached down for him-

	/No!/

	Flash again, and a moment of rest. Darkness welcome until the 
light came back, a candle held by a face he knew so well. Leif... Running 
into the welcome brightness, disregarding tears still streaming down his 
face. Knowing once he reached that warmth, there would be safety-

	/Leif?/

	Cain stared in disbelief when he saw the expression on Leif's face.
The same face as the one his father had worn, dark and cruel, filled with 
contempt and disgust... He was used to it, now... After all, he had been 
born amongst feathers, and carried the mark of incest and rape. His hazel 
eyes with golden flecks in them- proclaiming to the world his father's 
sin... 

	He was cursed to be the killer of all the people he loved. Fated 
to love only to have that love die, leaving him alone again and again... 
Only Merriwether had managed to escape that- for now. And Leif. Except 
Leif was just his servant. only that. But... Something cried out in him 
that it was wrong on Leif's face, that look of hatred. That look of
uncaring...

	Reaching out for Leif, for the light to show him the way out of the 
darkness, his hand stilled in dismay as Leif's hand moved to snuff out the 
candle. Somehow, Cain knew that when that candle went out, he would be left 
in the night by himself, forever-

	"No! Leif! LEIF!"

---

	Leif sighed as he looked at Merriwether's present. "It's somewhat
ridiculous, buying someone like me silk pajamas..." Still, he couldn't help
smiling as he remembered the effort Merriwether had gone into picking just
the right thing for him. "For Merriwether-sama, I suppose I should wear 
this."

	Shedding the rather restrictive formal clothes he had worn to the
celebration, he put the new night-wear on. Leif closed his eyes for just a
minute at the feel of the fabric, and then opened them again to gaze at
himself in the mirror. Smiling, he climbed into bed, snuffing out the candle
on the night stand.

	Staring up at the ceiling, Leif tried to sleep, but just couldn't 
manage it. Letting out a breath, he spoke out loud the reason why. 
"Cain-sama..." He closed his eyes, trying to lose himself in the depths of 
sleep that fled from him. But Leif just couldn't let go of tonight, or the 
sound of  Cain's sweetly hesitant voice had he offered the cake that he had 
tried so hard on...

	*That cake could have been made of wood and I would have been 
happy...* Leif felt the bitter-sad smile appear on his face again, and 
forced himself to relax. Forced himself to forget that Cain would never see 
what was in front of his face, and- *What's wrong with me today? I should 
hope he never sees... or else-*

	Leif couldn't get himself to finish that particular statement, and 
put his hand over his eyes. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly, and 
made himself relax enough so that the tugging of sleep began to win. As he 
fell slowly into unconsciousness, Leif wondered if this kind of strangeness 
happened on everyone's birthday- 

	"Leif! LEIF!"

	Leif threw himself out of the bed when he heard the panicked yell 
coming from Cain's bedroom, and ran to where Cain was. Everyone else knew 
better than to interfere in one of their lord's nightmares, knowing that 
only Leif could calm him in such a state... Running into the room, he saw 
that Cain was clutching at his blankets as if grabbing for something.

	Sitting himself down at Cain's side, Leif gently whispered, 
"Cain-sama..." Leif had learned that waking Cain up gently was usually the 
best way to prevent bodily harm on either of them... "Cain-sama... I'm right 
here- Shh." Spying a candle on the table near the bed, Leif lit it and let 
the gentle light illuminate the room.

	Leif felt Cain grope about blindly, his eyes open but unseeing. 
Letting Cain take hold of him, he put his arms around gently around Cain, 
careful not to make him feel trapped or captured. Rocking gently back 
and forth, he continued to murmur low syllables of comfort, hoping that the 
nightmare would wind down gently...

	Cain saw the dream-Leif laugh darkly as he reached to put out the 
candle, except there was no more darkness, and the candle didn't matter 
anymore. Staring out at the dream, all he could see was pure white softness 
as warmth enveloped him in a gentle embrace. He felt the dream fall away 
and grasped for consciousness gratefully.

	"Leif..?" Cain's voice was soft and raw from the screams he had let 
loose earlier, and played roughly on Leif's ear. 

	Looking down at his lord in concern, Leif whispered, "Cain-sama, are
you all right?" 

	Cain nodded once and turned up his face, opening his eyes. For a 
moment, he seemed utterly lost as he gazed upon Leif. Filling Cain's eyes 
with brightness, Leif looked as if he were made of light. Dressed in white 
silk, Leif's silver hair was rimmed by a golden halo as he sat with the 
gentle candlelight at his back. Looking at him, all Cain could think was 
of angels...

	Leif looked at him with compassionate eyes, and let Cain clutch at 
him as Cain dealt with the aftermath of the nightmare. Sobbing helplessly 
as the dream played in his head again and again, Cain's tears stained the 
pure white silk with his marks of sorrow. After staying in Leif's embrace 
for endless long moments, Cain realized what he was doing and wiped his 
eyes with the back of his right hand. 

	Leif stayed still, letting Cain calm himself down, and then 
gently disengaged himself from Cain's embrace. "Cain-sama..." At Leif's 
concerned whisper, Cain wiped the last of his tears away from his face 
almost angrily and let out a shaky breath. 

	Starting to laugh almost helplessly, Cain covered his face with 
his hands and lay on the bed. "I'm all right, Leif. Just fine." Getting 
off of the covers, Cain started to shed his sweat-soaked pajamas, leaving 
the clothes for Leif to pick up.

	Cain stared out into the mirror for a long, quiet moment as he 
pushed his hair out of his face. After a time, Cain started and looked at 
Leif with a trace of guilt. "Leif- I'm sorry... I told you that you should 
take a rest for today-" 

	Leif shook his head quietly, and held out a robe for Cain to put on.
"Cain-sama, would you like me to heat up a bath?"

	Nodding quietly, Cain turned to Leif with a desperate kind of 
expression on his face. With his hands clutching at Leif's shirt, Cain 
touched his forehead to Leif's chest and stayed in that position for a 
minute. The quiet stretched out until Cain let out a shuddering breath, and 
whispered, "Thank you... thank you for not being..." He didn't say any 
more, and just breathed deeply, controlling himself.

	Leif stared down at Cain, and his hands let go of the pajamas that 
he had just picked up from the ground. For a moment, it seemed as if Leif 
was about reciprocate the hold, but then clenched his fists and pushed Cain
away gently. Leif bowed, and then picked up the clothes he had dropped
before leaving to prepare the bath.

	Cain stared at the open door for a moment before he flung himself 
on the bed. The quiet seemed to almost ring in the empty room as he stared 
up at the canopy, trying to make sense of what he had just realized... 
His mind kept going back to his sister's one innocent statement. "Person he 
'likes'..."

	What he had just discovered... Cain closed his eyes, wondering how
he had managed to ignore how Leif had come to mean more and more to
him as the years had passed by. As he had grown up, Lief had become more 
than a protector, or servant. Even more than a friend. Gazing up at that
whiteness above him, at the guttering shadows that the candlelight cast, he
couldn't help whispering bitterly, "Why did it hurt more inside that you
were about to hurt me than when my father was about to?" 

	That had been the only reason he had been able to distinguish what he
had just experienced as a dream- because Leif would _never_ do that to him.
Never. That was the one incontrovertible fact in his life right now- that
Leif would never betray him. But when he had seen that dream-Leif... The
whip had been nothing compared to that tightening around his heart...

	"God... Please..." Half plea, half accusation- after all, why would 
God ever listen to one such as him? Staring out into nothing at all, Cain 
began to laugh again, soft broken chuckles. Finally, he sat up from the bed,
and rubbed at his eyes wearily. Perhaps if he took that bath, he would be 
able to fall asleep again... Oblivion sounded nice right about now.

	Pushing himself off of the bed, he went down to the bathing room, and
saw that the bath had been prepared. Looking around, he noticed that Leif was
nowhere to be seen, having only left the candle behind... Cain shrugged and
took off his bathrobe, easing himself into the hot water. He sighed quietly
as the heat started to penetrate his whole body, and then closed his eyes,
resting his head against the tub. 

	After a few minutes, Cain felt totally relaxed, loosed into a world
of soft edges and shadows. Sighing, he stretched and luxuriated in the feel 
of the warmth reaching all the way to his bones. He could feel himself
drifting off into the fuzziness of half-sleep, when the door to the bathing
room opened.

	"Cain-sama..." Leif walked in with towels in hand, and seemed to 
think he was asleep. Peeking out from half-closed eyelids, he could see Leif
rolling up the sleeves to the pajamas he was still wearing as he walked to 
the tub. About to reach down to carry Cain back to his room, Leif stopped 
suddenly. A secret smile appeared on his face as he reached down gently, and
brushed his hand against Cain's cheek. 

	Cain shivered as that light touch awoke feelings that he had never
allowed himself to feel before, and couldn't help himself from opening his 
eyes a little bit wider. Looking at the half-blurry world, he couldn't 
mistake the longing on Leif's face for anything else. Before he could think 
about what he was about to do, Cain reached out and captured Leif's hand at 
his cheek. "Leif..." 

	Leif's eyes widened as he saw that Cain was awake, and then tried 
to pull away. "Cain-sama... I didn't realize that-" A slow flush traveled 
up his fair face, and he looked away for a moment. "I hadn't realized that 
you were awake... I-" Cain ignored Leif's words, concentrating only on 
Leif's face and voice. What he saw...

	Taking Leif's captive hand, Cain laid his lip to the back of it, 
letting his breath tickle against the skin. He turned that hand over- the 
hand that had protected him and kept him safe for so long- and laid another 
kiss to the palm. After doing so, he looked up at Leif, wondering if-

	Leif looked down at Cain's wide strange eyes, and he felt that flash 
of pleasure-pain that always ran through him when he was too close.
"Cain-sama... please. You don't know-" All his other words were lost as
Cain's eyes turned downward, and his too-warm lips traveled up to the
hollow of his wrist. Leif could feel his legs weaken as Cain's even warmer
tongue flicked out and traced the scar left there by that old attempt.

	Cain looked up at him with those strangely glowing eyes, beseeching,
asking. Quietly, almost plaintively, he asked, "Leif... you're not going to
leave me, are you? Promise me that you'll never leave me..." His expression
demanded an answer as his grip grew even tighter on Leif's wrist.

	Leif closed his eyes and let a small tear fall, making a water-track
on his cheek. Surrendering to that need... "Cain-sama. I will never, ever 
leave you. I swear on my life." It felt right to kneel, and so he did- 
forgetting that it would leave him face to face with the younger man... 

	Cain weighed those words, and then nodded once. Quietly, he 
whispered, "Then don't leave me here alone..." Cain stared up at Leif with
eyes darkened by such terrible fear and loneliness- echoes of the nightmare,
terror that Leif would leave him too...

	Leif brushed out Cain's wet hair from his eyes, and then smiled 
quietly, his heart finally allowed to unguard his deepest secret. "I will 
never leave you. Never." Reaching out with his hands, he took Cain's 
unresisting body into his hands and wrapped him in a large towel. With a 
gentle touch, Leif carried him into his bedroom. 

	Leaving Cain standing in front of the mirror, Leif toweled him down
carefully, gently. Standing in front of Cain, Leif was running soft fabric
down Cain's stomach when Cain's hand stopped him. Leif nodded and let the
towel fall to the floor before reaching to tilt up Cain's chin.

	Leif could feel Cain's heart beating at a pace to match his own,
altogether too fast for safety... smiling into Cain's eyes, he received a
reciprocal expression of happiness as he lowered his lips to Cain's. Warm
shock of contact as they were swept away by the sensations of velvet mouth
to mouth, silk to skin.

	After endless moments of dwelling in the kiss, Leif broke it off with 
a quiet sigh. His lips started to move down Cain's face, leaving a trail of
kisses which stopped at the rapid pulse of Cain's collarbone. There, Leif
lifted his mouth, and moved both of them to the bed. 

	Cain smiled at Leif as they both sat in his bed. With fierce, 
possessive eyes, Cain reached out and put one hand over Leif's chest. Quiet
and unrushed, Cain started to unfasten the white silken pajamas. As Cain 
undid each button, he laid one kiss where each button had been. By the 
time the last button was undone, Cain's lips were tickling at Leif's navel, 
and Leif's breaths were irregular and hurried.

	Leif reached for Cain, and then smiled as he turned Cain's body so 
that his back was to Leif. Softly, he traced the scars that the whip had 
left on tender skin so long ago with light fingers, and then with tongue 
and kisses. Leif heard Cain cry out softly, and shudder as he traced out 
each mark to its end, taking them into himself. 

	He was making those scars a true part of him, as these were a vital 
part of Cain. But as he did so, he felt as if he were burning out with heat 
of mouth and heart all of the marks that Alexiel had left on Cain's soul... 
Returning what Cain had done to him with that kiss to his wrist, and 
magnifying it a hundred-fold.

	Leif could feel Cain shaking as tears came unbidden at each touch. 
After Leif had traced every single scar, he whispered, "Cain-sama...", 
wondering if it had been too much, too soon. Leif turned Cain around so 
that the younger was nestled in his embrace, and wiped away the tears. 
"If you want me to stop-"

	Leif didn't get to finish his sentence as Cain's hungry mouth took 
his lips captive, not letting them go of the kiss until both were gasping 
for air. Cain embraced him fiercely, arms trapping waist and legs 
interweaving so that the only things Leif could see or feel was Cain...

	"Do that until you drive all the darkness away... I want you to be 
my light. Please-" Cain looked up with eyes wide and strange, with the golden
flecks dancing in the darkness. He drew down Leif's face to his again, and
gave him a softer kiss. "Please... don't stop. Don't leave..."

	Leif held him in a tight embrace, a more intimate version of all of 
the comfort-giving hugs that Cain had received in the years that they had 
been together, and nodded. "Believe me. I will never leave you..." Then, 
Leif's smile widened as he pulled himself away from the embrace, letting Cain
lie in the bed while he sat above. As he moved his hands to explore the pale
skin, Leif added, "And I wasn't planning on stopping, Cain-sama."

	Cain frowned and put his finger to Leif's lips. "I'm Cain- just Cain."

	Softly, Leif nodded. As he moved his mouth down to where his hands 
were, he smiled. "Yes, Cain. My heart's lord..."

---

	Merriwether smiled as she saw the tarot card on the table. It had 
been coming up in Cain's readings more and more often, until she had know for
sure that the day was coming... Maybe her brother would have some happiness 
now, and Leif too. Laughing to herself at the memory of both of their 
stubborness, she snuffed out the candle beside her bed and went to sleep.

	The Lovers...

	Moonlight shined in through the window, and the card seemed to glow 
with a pearly light of its own. It was a simple tarot card from a oft-used 
deck, but this particular card had given more happiness than grief to the 
people involved. Unusual, really, considering the amount of pain predicted
by these cards...

	As the wind blew in from a cracked-open window, another card flipped
over from the deck to cover the first on the table. 

	The Tower, covering the Lovers. 

---Finis---

-----
Monica/Akira-chan/Heero/Hayama/Naga/Kircheis no Miko- Proud TABBE! Member
monica@pipeline.com - http://www.pipeline.com/~monica/- Up! Yay! ^_^
Loves- CLAMP, LoGH, MB, RKen, Z/B, Gundam, EVA, KoDoCha, RoV, Subby, Seig
"Tell Annerose-sama that Sieg kept his promise..." - Kircheis-sama
"Watashi no Andre?" Oscar Francois de Jarjeyes