It was autumn in Fanficland.
        The lush green of summer was now transforming into the multicolored
glory
of Fall as the leaves turned, detached themselves from the trees and blew
around the mesa. There was a crisp bite to the air now, and the thoughts of
many turned to the Fall semester, classes and a renewal of the endless battle
of time between homework and fanfic writing.
        High up in the deep blue sky, a tiny dot appeared. The peasants on the
ground looked up from the drudgery of their daily fanfic grind at the
high-pitched, subsonic sound of it's Tesla antigravity drive. Slowly the dot
grew into a speck, then a ball, then a medicine ball and finally revealed
itself
to be a huge sphere over a kilometer in diameter. It hovered over the gathered
masses on the mesa below like the very Wrath Of The Goddess herself.
        The crowd fell silent at the awe-inspiring sight. In furtive whispers
they speculated among themselves. Dare they hope. . ? Can it truly be, at long
last. . ?
        Suddenly, on it's ebony surface appeared two 3-D holograpic images
of the
primary Deities: Kodachi-sama and Ryoko-sama.
        Instantly everybody on the ground fell flat on their faces in an
ecstasy of
fear and worship. It is!
        From within the huge ball a figure appeared, hovering in mid-air
via her PAGU
(Personal AntiGravity Unit). It was an anthropomorphic cat, about two
meters tall,
with great green eyes, lush ebony fur and a long tail which undulated in
the wind.
She was dressed in the blue/black uniform of a colonel in the Knights Of
The Black
Rose. Her whiskers twitched as she surveyed the crowd below.
        From her tunic, she removed a scroll. Unfurling it, she began to
read in a
voice like distant thunder:

        "Greetings, fellow sentients! I announce to thee the great news:
The fanfic
Emperor Jugurtha I, also known as Paul Herring, The Allmighty Maximum
Leader One,
The Rythem Antenna and That Bloody Great Lunatic, has returned!"

        A great moan of terror ran through the crowd, punctuated by the
occasional
"AAAAK!!" as one or two people dispacted themselves with their swords.

        "After a long working vacation on the Minbari homeworld," continued
the cat,
"during which they gaciously upgraded Our Fearless Leader's main computer
system
with a new internal battery, a new 1-megabyte cache and loads more memory,
remarking all the while on how very advanced He is to be using a Macintosh
rather
then those relativley primative Wintel PC's, He is back to regale thee with
more
fanfic tales of joy and terror! Arriving with rather less warning then
Pearl Harbor
is the revised version of "Abort, Retry, Escape," Part One of which comes
forthwith;
two new fic's featuring the Goddess Kodachi--"

        At this the audience shouted simultaniously, "HAIL TO THEE,
KODACHI, GREAT
DARK MOTHER OF THE COMING MILLENIUM!!"

        "--images of the Goddess and fanfic illustrations to be posted to the
appropriate Usenet newsgroups, and some other nasty surprises for which
thee will
have no advance notice until it is too late!" She threw her head back and
laughed
maniaclly before going on. In the crowd, yet more people offed themselves.
        "So, my little mice, hie thee to the Temples forthwith to sacrifice
a Barney
doll to our great Deities, give praise and thanks for thy puny lives and beg
Ryoko's nonexistant mercy! OH, HO HO HO HO HO HO!!"
        She dissappeared once more inside the giant vessel. The Sphere Of
Doom slowly
arose again into the bleak fall sky, raining black rose petals, as the crowd
dispersed in all directions.