The Sailor Senshi saw the evil lurking over the horizon.  "This is it.  
Our final battle.  If we fail, I shudder to think of what will happen." 
 And with those words, Sailor Moon launched her team into battle.

And a minute later, they were lying on the floor, defeated.

"It's no use." said Mars.  "It's too powerful..."

"Wait!  Maybe my old boyfriend can help..." Sailor Jupiter shouted as 
she pulled a cellphone from her trans-dimensional pocket.

*****

A phone rang in Nerima.  "Hello, Tendo residence.  Ranma Saotome 
speaking... Huh?  Mako-chan?  What's happening?  ...  Okay, I'll be 
right down."  Ranma hung up the phone and ran over to where Akane was 
cuddling P-chan.  "Sorry, Akane, but I need P-chan for a moment."  
Before Akane could protest, Ranma yanked the pig from her arms, and ran 
into the bathroom, throwing Ryoga into the bath.

"RANMA!!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!  PREPARE TO -"

"No time for that.  You have to come with me to Jyuban."

"Oh, okay."  And Ryoga and Ranma left, picking up Taro, Herb, Saffron, 
Mint, Lime, Cologne, and all the rest of the Ranma cast.

It took them five minutes to get to Jyuban.  It took them a minute and a 
half to be defeated.

"Here, Mako-chan, let me borrow that cellphone...  Hey, Tenchi?  Ya 
gotta get down here quick, cousin.  And bring that demon with you.  And 
anybody else with any fighting skills...

*****

And so it went for a better part of a day.  The evil would advance, a 
new team would show up, only to be defeated in a matter of minutes.  
When Tenchi fell after a minute forty five, he called his classmate 
Yakumo, who actually lasted four and a half hours, but only because he 
kept on regenerating.  When Yakumo collapsed from exhaustion, he called 
his old friend Keiichi, who brought along the three goddesses.  They 
managed to last all of four seconds.  Skuld opened a portal and brought 
the Knight Sabres in, and they lasted for almost three minutes.

Finally, Ryoko played her trump.  She called in an old favor that she 
had with a prince from a distant planet.  She called Vegita, and had 
him bring Goku, Gohan, Goten, Trunks, Mirai Trunks, Pan, Bra, and all 
the rest of the Z Warriors.  All the Saiyajins powered up to Super 
Saiyajin level 24, and blasted the evil with their mighty ki blasts.

There was no effect.

For the first time, the evil spoke.  The fallen battlers all prepared 
themselves for its evil gloating.

"Did you know the human head weighs eight pounds?"

Thusly did they all facefault.

The End

This is entitled "Anime vs. Jonathon Lipnicki"
-- 
JD
Paladin of the Holy Pair
Verbena Mage
No-Brand Hero

Kiss me, Wind, kiss me... 
Hold me, Sky, hold me tight... 
And protect us, always, 
until we overcome and break down the walls, 
until we touch down and seize our dreams, 
because we were born 
to be happy. 

-Asu e Touchdown