On Fri, 12 Sep 1997 23:58:04 +0800, "Nikholas F. Toledo Zu"
<niftol@i-manila.com.ph> wrote:

	"Why?!"  the grief-stricken mother shouted at the balding father.  
"He's no more than an infant!"
	The father covered his bald spot.  "For the sake of our family's 
heritage, we must go on this... training trip."  

You mention his bald spot twice when once would do.

	The mother was in tears, arms reaching for the father and son.  
"He's too young."  She harriedly tugged at the fabric of her kimono, 
revealing a breast.  "He hasn't even stopped breast-feeding yet."
	The man's eyes bulged out.

The baby's not the only one, apparently... :)

	The mother's tear-soaked eyes grew in focus.  "... man among 
men..."
	A jerk stopped the two males' surreptitious departure.  She turned 
him to face her.

Er... that's a rather unfortunate combination of sentences. You're
saying that Mom's a real jerk?

	The father looked down, and "Erk!"ed.
	The mother, with her nose suckled by her son, said, "when you get 
back, get him some prescription glasses, will you?"

Ha ha! These aren't who we think!

	"Winner up!"
	The man smiled.  At this rate, he'll be able to leave with a 

At this rate, he would be able to

	He looked at his revised hand:  the queen was now a six of spades.  
He gave glances across the table to his opponents;  none of them had 
noticed the altercation.  He glanced down:  the toddler looked up at him 

alteration. An altercation is a fight.

	Nothing a doting old man in a casino could do?  he asked himself, 
with some concern.  Nothing was what it appeared to be, especially in a 
casino.  He almost walked on, if it wasn't for a very familiar card.

I think 'He would've walked on, ...' is closer to what you want to say
here.

	"Greetings, wise mother."  The blonde-haired foreigner bowed before 
her, giving her the sight of a toddler sleeping on his back.  "We are 
foreigners who wish to reside in the confines of your great village."
	"Greetings, traveler."  It isn't often that one gets visitors from 

It wasn't often that one got

	Mousse had since owed the Joketsuzuko Amazons much:  his name, 
which was the only one he had ever known;  his training in the arts of 
hidden weapons, which the old woman had seen to since almost the day his 
father left him;  and, his heritage, as he was treated as one of their 
own.  However, as equal as law was, he was not to recieve all that he 

receive

	The man, as Ranma informed him his friend was, nodded.  "Our 
contact in Tokyo has confirmed the accomodations."  Two airline tickets 

accommodations

Sorry, Gary, I didn't really think that it was normal...

Huh? Actually it's pretty normal for one of YOUR fics... :-P I still
have no idea where all this is going, though.

Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, Home page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe
My fanfics and the FFML map are on my comics/manga page,
       http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics