Ranma 1/2 is owned by Rumiko Takahashi
Tribe of One is owned by TSR
"hahaha... So, where have you been, boy? It's been at least 3 months since
I've seen you." Genma nervously said as he tried to dodge Ryoga's attacks.
"Never mind where I've been Old Man! I've seen hell because of you. You and
your stupid training methods!" Ryoga yelled back as he hit Genma over the
head with a bamboo umbrella.
"Uh... Excuse me?" Ranma said mildly, trying to break up the fight.
"HA! I trained you when no one else would! It didn't bother _me_ that you
got lost for days at a time... What other sensei could have taught you under
those circumstances?" Genma retorted, rubbing his head.
"Shut up and die like the Old fool that you are!"
<Watcher> *Someone else is coming!*
Ryoga was about to take another swing at Genma, but another section of the back
fence exploded and a female voice called out, "Ryoga-samaaaaaaa!"
Ryoga froze in mid-swing and jerked his head towards the voice.
"Akari! " he said, his voice filled with fear. "How did she find me?"
"Who's that?" Ranma asked.
"Oh... That's just Akari-chan; Ryoga's fiancee." Genma calmly replied.
"SHE IS NOT MY FIANCEE!" Ryoga screamed, glaring at Genma, then at Ranma.
Ryoga turned back towards Genma and said, "We'll settle this later, Old man!"
Akari, as it turned out, was a riding a large... pig. Her mount bounded after
Ryoga who ran out of the backyard, making yet another whole in the already
diminishing fence.
"Hi Saotome-san... Bye Saotome-san!" Akari called out as she passed Genma.
As the dust cleared and the two uninvited guests were almost out of sight, Akari's
voice could heard in the distance, "Ryoga-samaaaaaaaa!"
Ranma just stared at his father, his face full of curiosity.
<Ranma> *I honestly don't know what to say...*
<Bitter> *Mind if I try?*
<Ranma> *Be my guest.*
Ranma ducked under and Bitter took control.
Ranma/Bitter cleared his throat and said, "Otosan... WHAT the HELL was THAT all about?"
<Lyric> *Real smooth smart guy...*
*****************************************
* *
* Raoh the Conquorer presents *
* *
* A Story of Ranma 1/2 *
* *
* A Stained Glass Mind part 8 *
* *
*****************************************
Nodoka walked out to the backyard just in time to see Ryoga and Akari leave. She
gave Genma a frosty look and said, "Something you haven't told me about, dear?"
"Uh... well... maybe." Genma replied lamely as he sat down on the back porch.
"Let's see... where to begin?" Genma sighed.
"You can by with telling us who that umbrella-wielding nut and his porcine-riding side-kick
were." Ranma/Bitter said.
"Ranma, you are the heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts... but
you are not the School's only student."
<Play> *You mean there are OTHERS out there who are like HIM?*
"So that guy... Ryoga, was a student of yours?" Ranma/Bitter asked.
"Yes. You see, no one else would train him and since I wanted, no, needed someone
to train, I decided to let him be my student."
<Guardian> *How kind.*
"Why wouldn't anyone else train him?" Ranma/Bitter asked.
"Everyone thought that the boy had no drive, no ambition, that he did not take
the art seriously. Ryoga would miss classes and sparring sessions for weeks at
a time. It really isn't his fault though. He has the worst sense of direction
imaginable. His whole family suffers from the same malady." Genma said.
<Ranma> *What?*
"Bad sense of direction? I'm kinda lost here... what does that have to do
with the Art and him being your student?" Ranma/Bitter asked.
"Ranma, he missed classes because he could never FIND the Training Halls. His sense
of direction is THAT bad. He usually gets somewhere purely by accident or luck."
<Play> *What a loser!*
"Okaaaay.... Where do you come in?"
"Well, I was constantly traveling, and I ran into him several times. So I started
teaching him the Art. One day, a few months back, we found Jusenkyou together and-"
Ranma, livid with anger, quickly took control and yelled, "You mean YOU KNEW ABOUT
THAT PLACE AND TOOK ME THERE ANYWAY???"
<Guardian> *He's hopeless.*
"Ranma calm down... hehehe... I honestly didn't know about the curses! Ryoga fell
into one of the pools and when he didn't get out, I assumed he just got lost."
"How can anyone get lost in one of thoses small pools?" Ranma demanded.
"You don't know Ryoga... he can get lost ANYWHERE."
Ranma sighed and said, "So he's cursed too and blames you for the whole thing... great."
"Well, he's gone now. It'll probably take him a few weeks to get back here... HAHAHAHA!"
"Otosan. Who is Akari, then?" Ranma asked.
"Like I said, she's Ryoga's fiancee." Genma replied.
"He didn't seem to think so..." Ranma pointed out.
"Yes, well I engaged him to her a few years back and-" Genma began.
"Wait a minute! YOU engaged him to her? What gave YOU the right to do that?" Ranma asked
"As it turns out, I spent more time with Ryoga than his family did. I did meet his
parents a few times and they trusted my judgement in such matters. I happened to
meet Akari and Ryoga's parents with-in a few days of each other. I told them my
idea and they readily agreed. They trusted my judgement." Genma finished proudly.
<Play> *Then THEY were losers too!*
<Ranma> *Guardian, there's something he's not telling us...*
<Guardian> *Do you want me to check it out?*
<Ranma> *Hmmmm... no, I'll handle it.*
"So, what did you get out of all this, Otosan?" Ranma asked.
"What do you mean, Ranma? I was just happy to see my only student engaged to
such a lovely girl." Genma replied innocently.
"Otosan..."
"Ok, Ok... Her grandfather gave me a couple of pigs." Genma admitted.
"PIGS? You traded your student's future for PIGS?" Ranma asked incredulously.
<Bitter> *Next chance we get, we're going to a temple and give our thanks to
Kami-sama that we were not raised by this idiot!*
"They weren't ordinary pigs!" Genma replied in an injured tone.
"They big and plump and I had enough bacon, pork chops, and cured ham to last weeks!"
Ranma put his head in his ands and sighed.
"Otosan, what are we going to do about this?" he asked.
"Yes husband. How DO you plan on dealing with this situation?" Nodoka also asked,
finally breaking her silence.
Genma flinched under his wife's cool, steady gaze.
Since it was becoming obvious there wasn't going to be any sparring session that
morning, Ranma left Genma to deal with Nodoka and got ready for school. After
getting dressed, and eating, (his parents were STILL in the backyard), he walked
to the Tendo Dojo.
<Play> *Why are we coming back HERE? Let's go straight to school!*
<Bitter> *So eager to get to class, Play?*
<Play> *Don't be an idiot. I just wanna see Kuno-chan!*
<Ranma> *Well, we get to see Akane instead...*
<Bitter> *And Nabiki.*
<Ranma> *Right...*
<Play> *Well, ok... Akane is kinda cute...*
<Bitter> *To you, EVERYONE is cute.*
<Play> *Hmph... Everyone except for YOU!*
<Lyric> *Ha Ha! Bitter's uncute! Bitter's uncute!*
<Guardian> *Settle down, 'children'*
<Lyric> *YES MOMMY! HAHAHAHA...*
<Ranma> *sigh*
Ranma met the Tendo girls as they were walking out of their front gate.
"Uh... hi." Ranma said shyly.
Akane and Nabiki both smiled.
"Hi Ranma-kun. How did things go with Kuno-chan yesterday?" Nabiki asked.
"Uh... Not too bad." Ranma said quickly turning towards Furinken and quickening his pace.
Nabiki and Akane exchanged concerned glances and caught up with Ranma.
"Are you all right? Did you beat him?" Akane asked.
"Well... not exactly..." Ranma managed.
"So he beat you? It's not a big deal Ranma, he's really good." Akane replied.
"Well... not exactly..."
"Ranma-kun! What EXACTLY did happen?" Nabiki asked.
<Ranma> *Oh man...*
<Bitter> *Oh please! Want me to handle this?*
<Ranma> *Would you?*
Ranma ducked under and Bitter once again took control.
He turned and smirked at Nabiki, "That fool is a bigger idiot than I thought he was!"
"What do you mean?" Nabiki asked, a smile coming to her lips in expectation.
<Bitter> *Now THAT is a beautiful smile.*
<Guardian> *Bitter... Not you TOO!*
"Kuno didn't want to fight me. He walked out in front of the setting sun, like some
hero from a movie and threw a bouquet of roses at me. Then he told me that he loved
me and walked away." Ranma/Bitter replied.
Akane and Nabiki stopped walked.
"He said-"
"that he loved you?!"
"Hahahaha... Yep. It was so funny... at least at the time. I really don't know what
to do about it now. Guess I'll just tell him that I'm not interested."
<Ranma> *It wasn't FUNNY at all!*
<Bitter> *Oh calm down! Your whole problem was Akane and Nabiki teasing you, right?
Well, you have no reason to be embarrassed anymore. You HAVE to learn to laugh at
yourself Ranma... There is too much going on for you NOT to.*
<Ranma> *Whatever...*
"That might not work with Kuno." Akane pointed out.
Nabiki immediately ignored the conversation. She had a speculative gleam in her
eyes and was considering the various income possibilities that Kuno could provide
her through Ranma.
*Hmmm... This is going to be profitable AND fun!* she thought to herself.
<Ranma> *OK, we're almost here! Let me out.*
<Guardian> *You want to interfere in Akane's fight again, don't you?*
<Ranma> *I just wanna help her... what's wrong with that?*
<Guardian> *She doesn't NEED our help.*
<Bitter> *Besides, if you get involved she'll only get mad and we'll be late
for class again. Just shut up and let me lead for a while... You don't like classes
anyway. Go to sleep, or something. I'll wake you up during lunch, OK?*
<Ranma> *Oh... OK.*
The trio reached the front gates of the high school and Nabiki quickly got to class
while Akane fought her battle. Ranma/Bitter tried to follow Nabiki, but he wasn't
agile enough, as he had no experience in fighting. On top of this, the students
who were fighting Akane turned on him because of his supposed 'engagement' to Akane.
<Ranma> *Now you wanna let me out? Looks like Kuno-itis is catching.*
<Bitter> *uh... that might not be such A BAD IDEA!*
Bitter promptly fled as a baseball player swung a bat at him. Ranma took control
just in time to grab hold of the wooden bat before it implanted itself on his head.
Ranma pulled the bat out of the player's hand and starting swinging it around him as
he ran towards the school building. Those students who did not get out of Ranma's path
were painfully smacked with the wooden bat, which was now moving too fast for the
eye to see. Within seconds Ranma had entered the school building and tossed the bat
on the ground. Akane followed in after him, breathing heavily.
"I TOLD you that I didn't need your HELP!" she yelled at Ranma.
"Geez Akane, they were attacking me too! What was I supposed to do?" Ranma replied.
"I don't need a... a... BOY to defend me!" Akane said as she stomped off to class.
<Guardian> *Well THAT went well...*
<Ranma> *Oh, shut up!*
<Bitter> *Is it safe to come out now?*
<Ranma> *Yeah... we'd better get to class.*
<Play> *I didn't see Kuno-chan today...*
<Bitter> *Thank God for small favors, maybe we got lucky today.*
*************************************
"So, Kuno-chan... I hear you have a new love interest." Nabiki said as she sat
down at her desk.
Kuno snapped his head towards Nabiki and said, "What do you know, woman? Tell me,
do you have any information on my red-headed goddess?"
"She has a pig-tail and wears Chinese-style clothes, right?"
"Nabiki Tendo! How do you know her?" Kuno demanded.
Nabiki took a set of photographs out of her pocket and spread them on Kuno's desk.
"I figured you might be interested in these..."
Kuno stared at the pictures with intense pleasure.
"Ah, so you DO know her! She is magnificent, is she not?" Kuno beamed.
"Yeah, right.... 1000 yen each. After all, she is 'magnificent'."
"1000 yen?! The Gods themselves weep at such a price!" Kuno protested.
"Hey! These were not easy to come by! 1000 yen. Take it or leave it."
Kuno stared once more at the photos and sighed lustily. He handed Nabiki a
5000 yen bill. As he handed her the cash, his face took on a more speculative
look. This surprised Nabiki since Kuno NEVER looked like that before. *He actually
looks like he's.... thinking!*
"Nabiki Tendo... perhaps there is another service you can render for me." Kuno said.
"Oh?"
Kuno reached into a baf that was sitting by his desk and pulled out a stuffed doll.
He placed it on the desk and smiled proudly at Nabiki.
"Uh... What is that, Kuno-chan?" Nabiki asked.
"It's a gift." Kuno said.
"Thanks, but I'm not interested."
"It's NOT FOR YOU! It's for my goddess in pigtails."
*Th-that's for Ranma?!* Nabiki thought then burst out laughing.
"Ok Kuno, if you really want to give that to the pig-tailed girl, I _might_ be able
to help... Oh, I have some _other_ pictures you might be interested in..."
**********************************
Ranma yawned and stretched his arms wide as he exited the school building.
"Did answering all those questions tired you out Ranma?" Akane asked from behind him.
"Uh... yeah." He replied lamely.
<Bitter> *Tired out? Is she TRYING to be insulting? These classes are a joke.*
<Guardian> *Maybe to you, but remember, Ranma just woke up.*
Ranma had decided to follow Bitter's advice and had gone to sleep during class. Bitter
was only too happy to take over and prove to everyone just how smart he was. He tried
hard not to be smug when he answered or questioned the teacher, he didn't want to
make too many enemies, after all.
"I guess high school in China is a bit more advanced than it is here, but where did
you learn that advanced Calculus?" Akane asked, a bit impressed.
"Uh... one of my Aunt's friends is a math professor! Yeah! That's it! hahahaha..."
<Ranma> *Calculus! Bitter, what were you doing? You just HAD to show off didn't
you? What the hell is Calculus anyway?*
<Bitter> *The teacher asked me to solve the problem, he didn't say HOW. I figured
calc. would be better than simple algebra.*
<Guardian> *I have never failed to be impressed by just HOW much you can
pontificate... Turning that simple math problem in a calculus equation was
impressive.. bravo.*
<Bitter> *HEY! You guys have fun your way, and I'll have fun mine!*
<Play> * 'Fun' he says!*
"Right Ranma... Anyway, I have to go talk to Yuki for a bit, I'll see you tomorrow?"
"Uh... I could wait? That is, if you WANT me too, no big deal or nothing..." Ranma
replied nervously.
<Guardian> *Ranma...*
Akane smiled faintly and said, "Uh... sure. I'll meet you down by the water fountain
in about 20 minutes, OK?"
"I'll see ya then." Ranma said as he jogged off.
Akane sighed, then turned away to look for her friend.
Ranma jogged by the school building, heading towards the fountain. He really didn't
have anything better to do so decided to just wait for Akane. As he was about to round
the corner of the building, he collided with Kuno.
<Play> *Kuno-chan! Let me out! pleasepleaseplease*
"Hey Kuno." Ranma said warily.
"You will address me as Sempai." Kuno declared.
"Uh, yeah. See ya later!" Ranma said as he tried to walk around Kuno.
"Wait one moment Ranma Saotome..."
"What?" Ranma asked, a bit irritated.
"I want to know WHY Saotome. WHY must I give this to YOU?" Kuno demanded, thrusting
the doll in front of Ranma's face.
"What IS this?" Ranma asked.
"It's a cute little dolly." Kuno replied.
"I CAN SEE THAT! Why are you giving it to me?"
"That is what I would like to know as well. Quoth Nabiki Tendo, 'If you want to give
this gift to the pig-tailed girl, then give it to Ranma, he'll make sure she get's it.' "
<Ranma> *Oh man...*
<Bitter> *Nabiki's a sharp one...*
<Guardian> *This is NOT the time to be impressed!*
"Forget about her Kuno, she doesn't want ANYTHING to do with you!" Ranma said as
he forcefully walked past the Kendoist.
This time, Ranma managed to clear the corner of the building and nearly walked into
Nabiki.
"Nabiki! What are YOU doing here?" Ranma asked, suspicion beginning to form in
his mind.
Nabiki stepped back and said, "Oh nothing... Just wanted to see how things went with
you and Kuno."
All of a sudden a splash of cold water fell on Ranma from the top of the building.
"Sorry down there!" A student yelled.
<Watcher> *Kuno's-*
Ranma-chan turned around, stared up at the student, and was about yell when Kuno
suddenly filled her vision.
"Pig-tailed Girl! Oh, how I have longed to see you once more!" Kuno exclaimed
<Ranma> *Sigh... I forgot about him.*
Ranma-chan decked Kuno in the face and scowled at him. Kuno shrugged off the punch
and hugged Ranma-chan tightly to his chest. Nabiki giggled and pulled a thermos
out of her school bag. *You can pay me later, Ranma-kun.* She thought as she opened
the thermos and dumped the contents on Ranma-chan's head.
"Oh my darling..." Kuno said lovingly just before Ranma kicked him in the face.
"Are ya done hugging me yet?" Ranma asked sarcastically.
"Saotome?" Kuno said bewildered.
"So you know my secret now. Later." Ranma said in a flat voice as he headed towards
the fountain.
"You evil Sorcerer! Enslaver of Women! What have to DONE to the Pig-tail Girl?"
Ranma facefaulted while the others of the tribe laughed.
<Play> *I'm here Kuno-chan! Save me! Save me!*
<Bitter> *hahaha... that wasn't... hahaha.... funny, Play...*
<Guardian> *I don't think that he gets it.*
"Hmmm... Maybe I'd better explain." Nabiki said as she walked up to Kuno.
"Ah... Kuno-chan? You see, that pigtailed girl that you love belongs to Ranma...
body and soul..."
<Guardian> *I.... don't think that she's helping.*
"BODY...AND...SOUL?" Kuno ground out.
He jumped towards Ranma his sword held high.
"You ARE a demon, aren't you?"
"What are you talking about? If you can't even understand what you see before
you then I can't help you!" Ranma shouted back.
"Silence cur! As heaven's knight, I SHALL rescue the pigtailed one!" Kuno proclaimed.
<Ranma> *That's it. I've had enough.*
"Oh yeah, Kuno? Rescue THIS!" Ranma said, launching himself at Kuno, feet first.
Ranma's kick caught Kuno squarely on the chest and all the pictures that Kuno had
bought flew out of his kimono. Surprised at the sudden flurry of paper, Ranma started
plucking the pictures out of the air and looked at them.
"What are these?" He asked aloud.
<Bitter> *Looks like we found out what Nabiki did with those pictures... heh, what a gal.*
<Play> *Ohhhhh... Some of these are of Akane too!*
"You ignore me! In the middle of Combat?" Kuno exclaimed, angry beyond words, (and
for him, that's say A LOT.)
<Watcher> *LOOK OUT!!!!!*
Ranma looked up at Kuno just in time to get solidly hit by the Kendoist' bokken. Ranma
clutched his ribs and flipped back out of Kuno's range. Ranma turned his head from
side to side, glancing around and getting his bearings straight. He saw Akane standing
by the fountain, looking worriedly in his direction.
<Ranma> *Looks like she's early.*
<Guardian> *You don't have the time to be mooning over her now. Let Shade out!*
Ranma snapped his head back towards Kuno.
<Ranma> *NO! This is MY fight!*
<Guardian> *Ranma...*
<Ranma> *Don't worry, I can handle it. You know I can.*
"This shall end NOW Saotome! And then, I will force you to free my beloved!" Kuno proclaimed.
<Bitter> *Doesn't he EVER get tired of listening to the sound of his own voice?*
Kuno took a deep breath, took a step towards Ranma and starting striking at him with his
bokken. Faster and faster, Kuno moved, and soon neither Nabiki nor Akane could see
the bokken; it was moving in a wall-like blur, straight towards Ranma. Ranma was able to
dodge each strike, but Kuno was forcing him to give up ground. Soon, Ranma knew, he would
end up in the fountain and THAT would be bad.
<Guardian> *NOW would be a good time to do something.*
Ranma smiled , crouched down and swung his leg in a seeming arc that traveled the
length of Kuno's body. Suddenly Kuno stopped and Ranma stood up, facing away from
him.
Akane and Nabiki looked on expectantly as Ranma said, "Heh. It's all over."
He then turned towards Kuno just as the Kendoist fell flat on his face, the bokken
still clutched in his hands. Akane and Nabiki cautiously walked up to Kuno and
stared at his prone body.
"What happened?" Akane asked.
Nabiki knelt down and gently turned Kuno over and Akane gasped when she saw the bruises
and foot marks all over the front of Kuno's body.
"Each blow hit a vital point!" Akane exclaimed.
"You mean you _kicked_ him? I didn't even see you touch him." Nabiki said, obviously
impressed.
"Ah, he was nothin' " Ranma said nonchalantly.
<Bitter> *ya right.*
"Oh 'nothing', eh?" Akane said, voicing Bitter's sentiment.
"What about the hit you took? It was somewhere... around HERE!" Akane said poking Ranma
in the ribs.
Ranma screamed and nearly collapsed in pain. It took a great deal of effort to keep
Shade down.
"That was stupid Ranma! What distracted you during the fight anyway?"
Ranma glared at Akane and handed over some of the photos he had caught.
Akane looked at the pictures and started to turn red. A vein in her neck
was starting to bulge and she scream, "WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH THESE PICTURES OF ME!"
"Hey! KUNO had the pictures, not ME!" Ranma yelled back.
"Besides, he had some pictures of ME too..." he continued.
Akane turned towards her sister, "NABIKI!" she admonished.
"Can't blame a girl for trying to make a little cash!" She said sweetly.
<Bitter> *Speaking of which... Let me out for a few Ranma.*
<Ranma> *Be my guest. Careful, Bitter... My ribs REALLY hurt.*
<Bitter> *Sigh... OK.*
Ranma ducked under and Bitter took control, wincing as he felt the pain from
Kuno's blow.
<Bitter> *I'm going to make this quick. I HATE pain.*
<Ranma> *It's no party for me either.*
"Nabiki? Exactly HOW much money did you make off those pictures of me?" Ranma/Bitter asked.
Nabiki frowned and said, "5000 yen, 1000 per photo, why do you ask?"
Ranma/Bitter smiled and held out his hand.
"I'll take my 3000 yen now, please." He said.
Nabiki's eyes narrowed and she said, "What are you talking about? WHAT 3000 yen?!"
"Don't tell me you forgot our verbal agreement _already_ Nabiki. Remember? I get
a 60% cut on all proceeds from those pictures. I suggest that we... talk and
renegotiate that contract before you sell any more."
Nabiki glared at Ranma then sullenly handed over 3000 yen.
"Nice move Saotome, let's hope that you can keep up with me." She said in a flat voice.
<Bitter> *Well, that's it for me. I'm out of here!*
<Ranma> *Aw man, what did ya do THAT for?*
<Bitter> *It was fun. Besides, I want to see how she retaliates.*
<Ranma> *Well I DON'T!*
<Bitter> *Ranma, you handle the physical challenges and I'll handle the mental ones.*
Bitter ducked down but Play took control before Ranma could.
"Don't be too mad about the pictures, Akane." Ranma/Play coyly said.
Akane gave Ranma a withering glare and was about to reply but Ranma/Play
continued, "Besides, you look sooooo cute in them!"
Ranma/Play giggled then ran towards home leaving a blushing Akane behind.
Nabiki glanced at Akane then said, "Maybe we should have daddy re-instate that
engagement, eh Akane?"
"What are you talking about? I DON'T want to marry HIM!" Akane said and then she too ran off home.
*I might not have been talking about _you_, sis...* Nabiki thought to herself
as she slowly followed after Akane.
*****************************
The End - part 8
*****************************
I was going add a bit more about Ryoga and Akari
at the end here, but decided to hold off for a while.
Things are still going relatively well for Ranma, but
the other members of the tribe keep getting him into
trouble...
Next Up:
Saotome (which one?) vs. Hibiki!
Akane gets a hair-cut!
The return of everyone's favorite purple-haired Amazon!
and....
"C-C-C-C-Cats!!!!!!"
(Note: I am skipping over the Golden Pair, just didn't like them too much, although
Play would NOT have been adverse to a kiss from Mikado.)