Ranma 1/2 - "All mixed up" part 2
-By Harper-

Disclaimer: The extremely funny and unique characters belong and are
copyrighted to the talanted and humourous Rumiko Takahashi, Viz
Communications, Shogakukan Inc. and other such clever companies who know
something good when they see it (ie, Ranma 1/2).

(XXX) = actions/description
~XXX~ = sound effects
[XXX] = signs (mostly Genma-panda but not always)


Chapter 2: School daze...

Ranma: (to Nabiki in her room) Y-you're (looks at the newly decorated room)
_nice_! (the room is all pink and full of fluffy animals and posters for
charity organisations) (Nabiki is wearing a long, white dress with flowers on
it and a daisy chain in her hair) 
Nabiki: (stands up and grins at him, handing him an envelope) for you!! 
Ranma: that's more like i - (thinks) what does she want to blackmail me into
this time? 
Nabiki: - it's all the money my old self took off you! I don't know if it's
the right amount, I'm quite ditzy with numbers you see? (giggles) I'm giving
all the money I have to charitable causes!! 
Ranma: (holding thousands of yen) Nabiki? Charitable? (jumps for joy) There
is a Kami-sama!! (leaves and pauses past Akane's room)
Akane: why did you refuse my kiss, Kuno baby? You hurt me! Waaaaaahhhhhh!!! 
Ranma: (rushes in) are you OK, Akane?
Akane: oh, it's the ugly, weak guy! Ewwwww! Sush a sissy also! I need a real,
strong man, like dear Tatewaki! If only he didn't hurt me....
Ranma: (clenches fist) he hurt Akane?! I'll kill 'im!! (runs out the fromt
door in a couple of milliseconds)
Akane: ...by rejecting my love, oh dear Tatewaki!! (sighs)

(Ranma zooms towards the school, blind rage covering his vision. The streets
are nearly dry and the sun is smiling again.)

~Wham!~

Boy: (having knocked over Ranma, helps him up) excuse me, could you tell me
the way to - Ranma! It's you!!!
Ranma: hey Ryoga! You feeling fine? No sudden bouts of happiness, p-chan?
Ryoga: (swipes him with umbrella) why you...! How dare you mock my life!
Ranma: (grabs hold of umbrella) I _never_ thought I'd say this... but you
seem to be the only normal person 'round here! 
Ryoga: what are you going on about? Just because I haven't been able to find
the bathroom for the last three days gives you no right to joke about my
cruel and harsh suffering!
Ranma: ooh, poor piggy. The thing is, everyone's acting really strange
because of some cursed rain or somethin'. (thinks) Three days? I don't want
to even think about that...
Ryoga: and...?
Ranma: I'm serious! Kasumi's a rebel and can't cook... Kasumi!! Nabiki's even
being _nice_! And Akane's upset because Kuno hurt her! My dad might even be
an honorable and truthful person who regrets his past and has a conscience.
(shakes head) It doesn't bear thinking of...
Ryoga: (angry) I shall destroy Kuno's happiness for hurting my dear, sweet
Akane!!
Ranma: so, we agree on something? Things _are_ going warped around here!
C'mon Ryoga! Let's go beat Kuno to a pulp! (starts to run when he realises
something) Hey Ryoga! Furinkan High's this away! 
Ryoga: don't you insult me, Ranma! (runs)
Ranma: I said this way!

~boot!~

Ranma: (drags an unconscious Ryoga along) well, he might be useful against
Kuno. As something to throw at the thick-headed... wait! I didn't take that
into account! Kuno's probably intelligent now, he might even be a match!
(pause) naaaaahhh...! 

(Ranma and an unconscious Ryoga make their way to the school gates, it is now
lunchtime and evryone seems to be sitting outside, eating lunch. He looks
around for any weird behaviour.)

Ranma: nothing out of the ordinary, yet. (trips over two people, sitting on
the bank of the school fields.) Sorry! Jeez, studying?! At
lunchtime?!...Nerds...
Nerd #1: we are trying to work here, please do not be so clumsy.
Ranma: (recognises them) Hiroshi?! Daisuke?! What has this rain done to you?
Hiroshi: (ignores Ranma) we have to finish this assignment if we want to make
it for band practise.
Daisuke: don't forget chess club after school. We shouldn't have taken the
morning off to look around the Nerima ward.
Hiroshi: will never do that again! Or think of the opposite sex in such a
perverted manner! Girls deserve respect for their minds. 
Daisuke: so immature were we... (shakes head at memory disapprovingly)
Ranma: if I were 20 years older, I would have had a couple of heart attacks
by now! It isn't the rain, it's aliens come to take over the world,
bodysnatchers, yeah!
Ryoga: are you sure the rain hasn't given you brain damage... scrub that,
you're always like this.
Ranma: when did you wake up?
Ryoga: you don't think that a little kick from you could keep me down for
long?
Ranma: you're right.
Ryoga: (disbelief) what?!
Ranma: with a head as thick as yours, who could kick you hard enough?
Ryoga: why you..! (they start fighting) (crowds look on, surprised for a
second, then disinterested)

(A few minutes later...Ranma and Ryoga still fighting)

Voice: hey, chill out, dudes!
Ranma & Ryoga: (look to the voice) huh? 
Ranma: The principal? No it's.... Kuno!!! No way!
Kuno: (wearing moccasins, long, baggy flares, a tye-dye shirt and shades)
way, brother!
Ranma: this is some sort of dream, isn't it?
Kuno: my whole life's been a dream up to now, man! Now I've seen the true
way, through peace and love!! 
Ranma: where's your bokken?
Kuno: there's no need for violence, world peace is all we need!
Ranma: (to Ryoga) still some of the old Kuno left in him, he still speaks a
load of cr -
Kuno: - see you later, brothers.
Ranma: hang on a sec, what did you to to Akane? She said you hurt her?!
Kuno: who, man?
Ranma & Ryoga: who?!
Ranma: about a year younger than you, short-haired uncute tomboy? 
Ryoga: (hits him over head) hey, don't speak about Akane like that, you cad!
Kuno: (thinks for a few minutes) oh _her_! Uncute, yes.  She needs to catch a
few more positive vibes till I hang with her. She is one dull chick!
Ranma: (testing) what about "the pigtailed goddess"?
Kuno: Ranma, you're an OK sorta guy but you're totally no goddess!
Ranma: you know? 
Kuno: what kinda fazed-out idiot would I be if I didn't know?
Ranma & Ryoga: ....
Kuno: gotta go spread some happenin' vibes, check you later, cool dudes!
Sayuri: (chases after him) wait for me, Tatewaki!
Yuka: (glazed eyes) me too, Kuni-wuni!!!
Ranma: (wide-eyed) Akane's friends....
Ryoga: what can we do to get rid of this nightmare?
Ranma: but Kuno _is_ leaving me alone and Nabiki won't make me broke anymore!
We could just leave things...
Ryoga: (hits him hard) think of Akane, jerk!
Ranma: (recalls Akane's crush on Kuno) (shivers) you, for once, have a point
there.

(Something attatches itself to Ranma's leg.)

Ranma: Happosai, get offa me! (removes him violently)
Happosai: but I'm so scared; nasty girls are after me! I'm just an old man!
Ranma: (narrows eyes) oh right!
Ryoga: haven't you noticed something Ranma?
Ranma: what?
Ryoga: Happosai hasn't tried to splash and glomp you yet!
Ranma: he's probably trying to hide from some girl mob....
Happosai: you're so right, so clever, oh great one!
Ranma: see?

~rumble~

Ranma: here they come! (picks him up) Here he is!
Girl mob: ooh, thank you, thank you!
Happosai: noooooo!!!!
Girl #1: hey, I wanna hold him first! He's so _cute_!
Girl #2: no, me!
Girl #3: hey, I bags to cuddle him!
Happosai: why is fate so cruel?! I just want a quiet life.
Ranma: this is strange...
Ryoga: too strange...
Ranma: cute girls want him...
Ryoga: and he doesn't want to be near them...
Ranma: we should just cure everyone but Kuno, Happosai and Nabiki. The world
would be a better place.  
Ryoga: remember, we have to find a cure first!
Ranma: but where first? ...The old ghoul!
Ryoga: ?
Ranma: Cologne, dummy! Now, let's hope she's unaffected. C'mon, jerk!
Ryoga: what did you call me?! (chases after Ranma)
Ranma: pig-headed jerk!! (thinks) One way to ensure that we get were we're
going!

(A few minutes later... they reach the Cat Cafe)

Ryoga: Raaanmmmaaa...!!!
Ranma: shut up, we're here now! You care for Akane don't you?
Ryoga: uh... yes of course I do. Well, let's go inside then! 

(They open the door, unprepared for the sight they see.)

Ranma: what the -? (rubs eyes) No, it's true!
Ryoga: is that Shampoo?!
Shampoo: (wearing a long, baggy dress and cardigan) Oh Mousse, you know I'm
desperately in love with you! My soul yearns for yours! (tries to hug Mousse)
Oh, marry me! I'm so sorry for the way I've so _despicably_ treated you! 
Mousse: (in jeans and t-shirt) Get off Mousse! Shampoo leave me alone! I no
want you so submissive! I prefer fiesty women! You odd and ugly! (throws her
across the room, she starts to cry)
Ranma: hey! You don't treat girls like that!!
Mousse: who...? Ah, it my good friends, Ranma and Ryoga! How you both doing?
Ramen on the house!
Ranma: (to Ryoga) this doesn't look too good for the old ghoul!
Voice: (behind them) it's so nice to see the groom has still retained his
manners.  
Ranma & Ryoga: huh? (turn round) Cologne!
Cologne: (on staff) I see the rain didn't get you, future grandson-in-law.
Mousse: (interrupts) dear elder, may I interrupt?
Cologne: what is it, Mousse?  
Mousse: I have finished cleaning up. May I take break now?
Cologne: I suppose so. Be back to work in fifteen minutes _sharp_.
Mousse: (bows) anything you say, respectful elder of Amazon tribe. (leaves
with Shampoo following)
Ryoga: how did Shampoo and Mousse avoid it and not you?
Cologne: they were out on delivery rounds at the time and I was inside,
working. 
Ranma: What is it? Is there a cure? How can we get it? What are these weird
pills I was given?
Cologne: slow down, groom, slow down. Sit at this table and I'll explain as
much as I can. 

End of chapter 2....

Well? Any good?
If liked, next chapter should involve Nodoka and (possibly) Ryoga's
transformation. (and who knows what else...?)