Subject: Re: [FFML] [Ranma][Eva] ReGenesis: Half Impact, Prologue/Chapter 1
From: Captain Jack
Date: 9/9/1997, 3:26 PM
To: Robert Morrison
CC: fanfic@fanfic.com

Please don't post your fic as an attachment.  If it hadn't been an Eva
fic, I'd have deleted it.  Make it apart of your e-mail message, you'll
get more readers that way

.ReGenesis: Half Impact
A crossover of Neon Genesis Evangelion and Ranma 1/2 by The Eternal
Lost Lurker

A Ranma, Eva crossover?  I didn't think they were compatable, but I'll
see....

       The towering golem known as Evangelion Unit-01 tumbled errantly
through the upper layers >of Earth's rapidly decaying atmosphere. The
great construct vainly struggled to shed an unwanted >skin it had picked
up: the tattered remnants of that which had almost been the final form
of the >eighteenth Angel.

decaying atmosphere?  Unit-01 almost an Angel?  when did that ever
happen?

       The wisp of an Angel was determined that with this great beast,
the events which occurred on >Earth would be able to happen somewhere
else where a civilization was prepared to evolve to its >next stage.

I read this paragraph 4 times.  Still don't understand it.

       Neither being was prepared for the sudden opening, like a great
chaotic maw, of a >dimensional vortex in the upper limits of Earth's
gravity well. Before Angel or Eva could react, the >gaping portal
swallowed them up into its depths, and closed, as far below, the Earth
began to calm >from the forces of an extraordinary birth.

How conveinient...

       Eva Unit-01 was, miraculously, still conscious as it plummeted
towards the rocky spires. It >was aware of a number of things: it was
falling extremely fast, it had no AT Field, and its structural
integrity had been severely weakened by the stress of its journey
through Earth's gravity well and >the oppressive energies of dimensional
travel.

Is it the pilot or the Eva that is conscious?  The Eva is conscious as
long as it has power...

The shredded Angel was thrown a great distance by the force of the
collision, and found itself >plunging into one of a hundred or so
springs in a valley nestled deep within the mountains. Some >strange
magical force within the water set to work on the bedraggled, incomplete
creature.

How does something that large fall into a Jyusenkyou spring?

       The two travelers shucked off their packs and took in the sight
before them: a mist-shrouded >valley, dotted with dozens of clear,
unpolluted springs, most with bamboo poles jutting from their >depths.
"Man, this place don't look dangerous," the boy said.

Wouldn't the Eva have at the very least knocked down several of these
poles and and buried many of these pools from the crash?

        The albino girl blinked at that, but said nothing. After a few
minutes, the Guide removed the kettle from the stove, and poured some
water over the panda. The girl watched impassively as the panda shifted,
shrank, and became a stocky, bald man. The man grasped her by the
shoulders worriedly. "Ranma? Are you okay, boy?"

Rei piloted Unit-01?  When?  May want to say Unit-00 in beginning.

        Where once sat an expressionless albino girl, now sat an
expressionless albino boy, taller, broad-shouldered, well-muscled. His
skin was still chalk-white, his eyes were the same crystalline grey, and
his hair was tinged only the faintest shade of blue.

hrm...Kawrou(sp?)  this is getting confusing...

       Gendou

      No, that's Genma. Saotome Genma...

       Ikari Gendou

Don't see the resemblance...

       Recovering from the one-sided battle, the boy once again
resumed his expressionless >demeanor, and said, "I'm leaving. Do
whatever you want with this." With that, he went into the >cottage, and
moments later, emerged with one of the traveling packs, which seemed a
bit fuller.

I don't believe Kawrou was that hell-bent on Gendou...

       I was once known by a name

       What was it?

       Ayanami Rei

Rei III?  Angry, but not vengeful.

Overall Impression:

Well, there are quite a few confusing passages, and things that should
be explained more.  It is strange even for Evangelion standards.  I'm
curious as to where the male form's soul is and where the Eva ended
up...

Captain Jack