Obviously she has NOT ever read The Monkies Paw! Other then that, not
bad at all. In fact, the prose flowed well, and for all it's shortness,
it felt complete. Akane's POV was relatively well done, only a few slips
of the author's personal views marring her thoughts <Kasumi and Nabiki
the most prominient>.

I'll admit Nabiki, but I think Akane probably does view Kasumi 
as something of an idiot, if a sweet one.  I'm not saying Kasumi 
is; but Akane's not especially perceptive and she is quick to jump 
to conclusions.  Also, Akane probably harbors some resentment towards 
her, both because of the Tofu thing and because Kasumi is so good at 
the feminine things that Akane finds herself incapable of.  Akane has
probably spent time searching for something bad in Kasumi, if 
only subconsciously, and  Kasumi never shows intelligence outwardly.  
Akane might make a statement like that. 

This fic has so much naivety, so much innocense,
it IS like the wish of a young girl, and is very fitting for the subject
at hand.

	I think a lot of people tend to forget that almost all the regulars 
in Ranma really are children.  Even those who had difficult 
childhoods, like Ranma, Ukyou, and probably Ryouga are innocents, and 
none of the adventures they go through seem to change that.  

 No 
time is wasted with too much thought on wish repurcussions,
which is good as you would have killed the ending with too much
character thought. Simple, sweet, and oh so KAWAII!, I liked it. ^_^ 

Great!

	You COULD continue with what Akane's life was like now, with her
mother, but for now, I'd DEFINATLY let it rest. Sort of like the ending
to Lonely Hearts and Furry Faces, for now, let's leave her in her
mothers arms, happy.

I think there's certainly another story to be written here, and I 
may do it eventually, but this fic is complete in itself and I have 
no plans to write a sequel right now.


Thomas Schmidt
TSchmidt@trader.com>