RANMA 1/2:- A LITTLE T.L.C. parts 7 & 8
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-By Harper-
Key:
*xyz* means they're speaking in English. **xyz** is in Chinese. All other
times it's in Japanese.
(actions/description) <sounds> [genma sign] {authors notes} Ranma-chan
is when Ranma is female. P-chan refers to Ryoga when he's a pig
(literally). Mousse-duck is Mousse as a cute duck!
{{{Disclaimer: the make-you-laugh-out-loud Ranma 1/2 characters are not
mine and are copyrighted and owned by Rumiko Takahashi, a very funny and
imaginative lady; Viz Communications; Kitty; Shougakukan Inc.; and
possibly other companies who were clever enough to buy into this great
piece of manga and anime.}}}
{{{The beautiful Oh My Goddess! comics were created by the talanted
Kosuke Fujishima and the manga is distributed by Dark Horse Comics. I own
neither Urd or the wonderful Belldandy!}}}
{{{PS, no offence intented to Californians and please don't take this too
seriously.}}}
{{{I'm not too sure about the layout of the Tendo's place, so please
forgive me - or correct me - for any mistakes I make.}}}
CHAPTER 7: YOU'RE GORGEOUS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(It's now 8.00am, at the Tendo's... Ranma is practising in the back
garden, with his father. Everyone is up and dressed and Tom and Akane are
eating their breakfast silently.)
<PUNCH!>
<SPLASH!>
Ranma: old man, I can beat you anyday! (thinks) I'm gonna win this
competition so easily!
Genma-panda: grroowwll!
Ranma: you wanna spar for the Everything Goes International Young Martial
Artist Competition, Tom? Akane? (pause) Confident, I see. (looks at
watch) Well, I'm ready so c'mon you two, we gotta go!
(Ranma, Akane and Tom dash out of the house... Akane notices that Tom is
lagging behind and slows down to talk to him, Ranma turns round,
suspicious.)
Ranma: (thinks) so, she prefers his company to mine, fine, be like that!
Akane: I'm sure she's well, Tom.
Tom: I not know that but... (Smiles at Akane) ..thanks Akane...
Ranma: (sees the smile, angry) Hurry up, you two, we'll be late!
(Twenty minutes later, they arrive at the the Stadium where the
competition is taking place, on the outskirts of Tokyo.)
Tom: It is huge!
Ranma: (lying) seen bigger.
(Imagine an Olympic sized stadium, imagine bigger. You could probably fit
the distict of Nerima in it. The inside was pretty cool too, with one
main arena in the middle surrounded by a massive audience area, protected
from the martial artists antics -- or the martial artists protected from
audiences 'enthuisiasm' and 'friendly rivalry' -- by a large glass
barrier. On the arena were many different platforms, swinging ropes,
weapons lain across the floor, there was probably a trap door, as well,
leading to another floor. There was also a deep pool, which made Ranma
just a little nervous. The stadium had no roof, and it was a lovely,
sunny day. I wonder if rain's coming, hmm?
(.....In the boys changing room Tom was whistling as he tried to lighten
his dark mood. Ranma noticed this and misunderstood it, as people in
Nerima usually do.)
Ranma: (suspicious) what do you think of Akane?
Tom: (puzzled) she a very nice and pretty girl, why?
Ranma: well, she's my fiancée so leave her alone!
Tom: ?
Ranma: (stands real close, with a real threatening glare) I've seen you
look at her, how you act around her, been getting awful close lately,
haven't you?
Tom: ?....I'm not interested in her that way. Definitely not!
Ranma: oh good..... (glares) why not?
Tom: she's a friend, she has been real nice when I worry about Lisa, I
think Lisa is in danger.
Ranma: sorry... I didn't know.
Tom: the only thing you be sorry about is that you have not told Akane
how you really feel.
Ranma: (defensively) But I...! I... (relaxes position) ...I guess you're
right. (looks around) Thankfully Happosai or Kuno aren't around.
Tom: that is odd, I heard Kuno tell Nabiki that he was entering this.
Ranma: Ryoga's not here either and he always has a knack of turning up at
just the wrong moments...
Tom: their non-appearances are not good.
(Both stand there silently for a moment. The girl's changing room is a
bit more lively at the moment...)
Shampoo: Shampoo no find bonbori, Akane... (looks at her) Akane steal
bonbori, nasty girl!
Akane: (in gi) what would I want with your weapon?!
Kodachi: (enters crowded room and spots Akane and Shampoo) Girls! (takes
out bunch of roses) I shall defeat you and have Ranma's heart! (Kodachi
prepares to paralyse the two combatants when a something slashes through
the roses, causing them to fall to the ground.)
Ukyo: (dives for Kodachi) If anyone's getting Ran-chan, it'll be me! I
was his fiancée first and I'm his best friend!
Kodachi: (whips ribbon at Ukyo) I think not! (As the ribbon slashes
through Ukyo's clothes, she pins Kodachi to a locker with her exhaustive
supply of sharpened spatulas.)
Akane: stop this! Some of us are trying to get ready!
Shampoo: (to Akane) give me bonbori!
Akane: (hits Shampoo) why would I want your stupid weapon??!!! (fire
seems to rise behind both of them)
Shampoo: Hiyaaahh!! (kicks Akane, who flies into some other girls,
knocking them down)
Akane: you! (tries to hammer Shampoo but Shampoo dodges easily, causing
Akane to wreck the seats, some of the wall, quite a few lockers and some
of the other female martial artists)
<KRUNCH!>
Akane: (hammers someone into the ground, several feet under) got you now
Shampoo!
Shampoo: (behind her) who Akane got?
Ukyo: (rises from under the hammer, taking out a few more spatulas)
Akane..! I didn't want to hurt you... really... but... now you're for it!
(throws spatulas at Akane, who dodges them and knocks over Kodachi.)
Shampoo: spatula girl, I fight violent girl, not you!
Ukyo: I'll injure who I want to injure! (all four dive for each other,
creating a cloud of smoke as they start the competition early.)
Conditioner: (walks into room) (sees scuffle) did I miss something?
(Later on, in the arena...)
Commentator: (through a microphone, just behind the glass wall) Ladies
and gentleman...!!! I welcome you to the event of the year!!!! The
Everything Goes International Young Martial Arts Competitionnn!!!!!!
Massive audience: YYYAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
(The commentator rolls off the list of countries, with the countries
combatants walking in to loud applause from their fans, everyone standing
in a long line around the edge of the arena.)
Commentator: Penultimately... entrants from the United Kingdom..!!! (the
Brits come from one of the entrance to the arena.) Last years champion...
Kosuke Ballentine!!!
Girls #1: *Eeeeeeeee!!! Kooosssuukeeee, weeee looooove yooouuuu!!!* (a
very beautiful - not handsome - young man with long flowing hair, slight
Japanese desent, and a diamond studded gi, enjoying the attention.)
Commentator: ...Tom DeLucas!!!!
Girls #2: *Yeeeee!!!!! Tooommmmmmmmmyyyy!!!!!! Gooorrrgeeeoouussss!!!!!!*
(Tom enters, looking quite embarrassed)
Commentator: ...Mercedes DeLucas!!!
Boys #1: *Meerrceedeesss!!! Yoouu'rrre sooo grreeeaaatt!!! Aaaannd
reeaalll cuuuuute tooo booooot!!!* (a slightly shorter and younger
competitor enters, grinning nervously, her short black hair curving round
her round, pale face, she is cute, in an innocent sort of way)
Tom: (to his sister, who stands beside him) *what are you doing here??!!*
Mercedes: *Hello to you too, Tommy! I am 16 and one month you know, old
enough to enter!*
Tom: *but all alone in a strange city, my little sister! You should have
come and stayed with me and the Tendo's!*
Mercedes: *stop with that overprotective brother routine, I stayed with
my Japanese penfriends! Wouldn't want to disturb you and Lisa, hmmm?*
Tom: <pink!> *What do you mean?! Nothing's going on between us!! We're
just friends..*
Mercedes: *you can't see it, can you? You're as dumb as ever, bro!*
Tom: *see what?*
Mercedes: (giggles) *nothing!*
Commentator: ...and now the entrants of the host country, Japan!!!
Audience: YYYAAAAYYYY!!!!
Commentator: firstly... Tatewaki Kuno...!!!!
Girls #3: yay, Kuno!!! You're sooo fine!! I want you to be mine!!!
EEEEEEE!!
Furankin Guy #1: did you hear that? Ignorance is bliss.
Furankin Guy #2: more like stupidity.
Tom: *Kuno's here! He looks a little sad and bruised. I wonder if he
knows what has happened..?*
Mercedes: *what are you talking about?*
Kuno: (thinks) where did my waif and that commoner go to? I know they
wanted to make an entrance but without me, it is impossible!!
Commentator: ...his sister Kodachii Kunooo!!!
Bacchus High girls: Koodaaachiiiii!!! Gooooo Kooodaaaachiiiii!!
Kodachi: the girls are so loyal!
Commentator: ...Ukyo Kuonjiii!!
Commentator's seat: (dives for Ukyo) Ukyyooo!!!!
Ukyo: (bats the seat away) Tsubasa!! Get away from me!
Commentator: (standing) ...and of the Chinese Amazons... Shampooo and
Conditionerrr!!!
All the boys: ooohhh!!!! Theeeyy'rrre sooo hhhhoooootttttt!!!!
Ssssshhaaaammmpooooo!!!!! Coondiitiioonneerr!!!
Shampoo & Conditioner: nihao!
Commentator: ...Mouussse!!!
All girls: (see him without his glasses) He's so hot!
Tom: *hang on, aren't Mousse, Shampoo, and Conditioner, Chinese...?*
Commentator: Akanee Tendooo!
Boys #2: Akaannnneeee dooonnnn't maaaarrrryyyy Raaannnmmmaaa, maaarrryy
meeee!!!!
Akane: I thought they'd let it go?
Commentator: Ranmaa Saotomee!!
Nodoka: (in audience) (whispers to person beside her) (proudly) that's my
son!
Girls #4: Raaanmmaaa, yoouu'rre sooo goood-looookiinng!!!
Ranma: heh! My charm works infinite wonders!
Akane: (elbows him) arrogant jerk!
Ranma: macho dweeb!
<WHAM!>
{Go on, guess what happened, I dare you! Yes, it does involve a
hyper-dimensional hammer...}
Mercedes: *that's the guy you're staying with? He is sooo gorgeous!*
Tom: *with three fiancees, one crazed gymnast and a sword-wielding wacko
chasing after him, not to mention many psychotic mortal enemies with a
disturbingly - and unhappily legal - high level of martial arts skill.*
Mercedes: *darn!!! I wonder if he wants a _fourth_ fiancee..?*
Tom: *no way, sis! Not gonna happen any time soon!*
Commentator: and now! The rules! Last boy and last girl standing win!
Murder and maiming prohibited. No method is too bizarre! No technique too
obscure! Cuteness, obligitary!! The match will end when there are winners
of each sex so I hope you have brought your sleeping bags! One, two,
three ...BEEEGIINN!!!!
(Akane is about to jump in when Shampoo holds her back.)
Shampoo: Shampoo make deal with you, I challenge you violent girl ...if I
beat you, I have Ranma.
Akane: what?!
Ukyo: count me in!
Kodachi: I will defeat you all!
Conditioner: **I'll help you, twin sister!**
Shampoo: **I don't need help! ...But you're welcome anyway.**
Akane: I accept your challenges!! (jumps to Shampoo, who kicks her away
and Ukyo rips through Kodachi's ribbon with her spatulas)
Kodachi: fool!! You think that is all I possess? (Whirls clubs through
the air, one rips open Ukyo's top, leaving her bandaged chest exposed)
(prepares to strike Ukyo with a spiked club...)
<WHONG!!>
(Kodachi and Shampoo's bonbori land in the pool, splashing Mousse.)
Mousse-duck: quack.
Shampoo: (to Kodachi) no murder allowed! (thinks) Though I wish I had
time to give you kiss of death, psycho girl!!
Ranma: (dodging every sword swipe by Kuno, who invariably hits many
others instead) Kuno, look! The pigtailed girl's's over there!
Kuno: where? Where? (kicks Kuno several times, causing each blow to hit a
sensitive spot, Kuno collapses)
(Ranma is too busy gloating over his victory that he doesn't notice
Kosuke come from behind, ready to strike with a large laptop.)
Kosuke: (to himself) I got you now! Huh, what's that noise from above the
stadium?
Voice: (far up) eeeeyyyaaahhh!!!! Not from this high up, Urrrd!!!
(everyone watches as a figure plummets into the stadium)
Kosuke: *I'll get him while he's distrac --*
<KRUSH!>
<THUNP!!>
(As the clouds dissipate we see Lisa is lying, rather ungraciously, on
top of Kosuke's broken body.)
Lisa: Yow! Why diamonds, sharp diamonds?! On a gi?!!
Tom: *Lisaa! (lifts her up) You're OK? Thank god!!*
Lisa: (looking rather wet and bedraggled) At least I got here in time!!
That's what matters! (thinks) He was worried... about me?
Tom: *what happened?*
Lisa: *long story, no time.* (starts to get ready to fight when she seems
to remember something) Ryoga! Where is he?
Kosuke: (manages to stand up, very faint) *can't let a woman beat me,
must fight Saotome!* (runs slowly towards Ranma, who seems more than
ready, when..)
Voice from sky: yaaaaaaaahhh!!!!!! (another figure descends to the arena,
this time holding an umbrella)
Kosuke: *not again!*
<WHUM!>
Kosuke: (slurred and lying on the ground) *again...* (falls unconscious)
(Ryoga steps off Kosuke, clutching his umbrella tightly.)
Lisa: took your time! And you know that that umbrella of yours ain't
exactly lightweight, don't try and use it as some sort of parachute!
Ryoga: how'd I get up there?
Lisa: I have some... uh... friends in high places, _very_ high places,
who gave us a... lift, now let's fight!
Shampoo: (runs towards Akane, knocking down any martial artisit in her
path) Shampoo get Akane! (Shampoo jumps up and prepares to kick Akane
into another dimension when a crutch hits her into the pool, causing a
big splash.)
Ryoga: ! (jumps away as the cold water comes a little too close, Akane
can only stare on in bemusement at Ryoga's strange reaction towards cold
water. Ukyo notices too)
Lisa: that'll teach that Amazon bimbo. Akane, what was that all about ?
Akane: she, Ukyo and Kodachi want to fight me for Ranma.
Lisa: and you agreed?! No offence, like, Akane but you're not as good a
martial artist as any of 'em. I'll help ya'.
Akane: (offended but pleased by the offer of help) if you want to.
Ranma: hey, pig boy, water get a little too close, huh?
Ryoga: I shall kill you!! (lunges for Ranma, Ranma dodges and trips Ryoga
over, causing him to go flying. Ryoga turns round and with amazing speed
manages to strike Ranma.)
Ranma: uh.. (wobbles a little and puts a hand to his shoulder)
Akane: (worried) Ranma...
Kodachi: DIE!! (jumps from a high platform towards Akane, twirling her
deadly ribbon through the air causing the air to crackle with great
tension.)
Akane: !!!
Lisa: watch out! (snags the ribbon, pulls Kodachi to the ground with a
thud, pulls Kodachi up to her feet, wraps the ribbon round her, then
pulls Kodachi into the air, smashing her against the wall, who then falls
to the ground babbling Ranma's name.)
(The fight between Ryoga and Ranma has gotten more violent and then Ryoga
grabs Ranma's hands with his bandannas and flips him over, causing him to
crash into Kuno.)
Kuno: you cretinous fool! Do you think you can defeat the mighty Blue
Thunder?! No evil shall dare undo the power of the good, the just and the
divine!!
(By the time Kuno had finished, Ranma had untangled himself and was now
back to fighting Ryoga.
Ryoga tried to kick and punch Ranma, he missed every time, but his misses
were far too close for Ranma to bear.)
Ranma: (gets closer to Ryoga and whispers in his ear) Yo P-chan, what's
the beef or should I say what's the pork? Who's going to bring home the
bacon, Ryoga?
Ryoga: (getting a red aura) I know you're just trying to make me angry,
it won't work! Breaking Point! (trips up Ranma and pushes him towards the
floor.)
Akane: Ranma, you fool! What are you doing??!! (gets attacked by a newly
human Shampoo and goes off, fighting her.)
(In the meanwhile Ranma dodges Ryoga's breaking point, causing him to hit
the floor exploding the sheeny ground. Ranma grabs hold of Ryoga while
they fly through the air twisting his body round so that Ryoga is the one
to feel the full impact of the blast. He then hits Ryoga several hundred
times in the same place. As they fall back to the ground Ryoga suddenly
swings his umbrella at Ranma, knocking him to the side and towards the
crater in the floor.)
Shampoo: Ranma! Shampoo save you!
<WHAM!>
(Akane manages to get a hit in with her hammer, knocking Shampoo
unconscious. Ranma slams down hard on the cratered floor, it collapses
inwards and a new floor is revealed below it. A few minutes before, while
Shampoo was fighting Akane, Ukyo dashed forward, hoping to get them while
they were distracted, only to be hit on the head with a chest containing
bestselling records of the sixties)
Ukyo: (falls over and then turns round) (to Lisa) you are a rescourceful
little one, aren't you? (Attempts to pin Lisa to the wall with her
spatulas but misses everytime, managing instead to fell the American
team) Helping Akane, are we? Why?
Lisa: because she's a friend (dodge) and also you (dodge) lot are the
best fighters here (dodge) and if I can beat you, (dodge) I get the cash
prize!
Ukyo: is that all you're interested in, the money?
Lisa: (gets angry) I am not money-addicted, you obsessional
cross-dressing saddo!
Ukyo: (begins to build a battle aura around herself)why you..! (Throws
all her spatulas at Lisa madly, Lisa dodging them easily and even
knocking them onto other people with a frisbee as a shield.)
Lisa: you really aren't that good, are you? Not only are you a willing
love slave and doormat to a half-guy, half-girl with two other fiancees
-- who by the way have a much cooler dress sense and don't think of
themselves as boys -- but you can't even cook a decent okonomiyaki!
(Ukyo's battle aura is glowing madly, Ukyo, unfortunately, hasn't learned
to control it properly and blows herself up.)
Lisa: (looks at an unconscious Ukyo) fell for the oldest one in the
book!! Well, _my_ book...
Conditioner: (lunges towards Lisa) DIIIEEE!!!!
<THWACK!>
Lisa: (thinks) Conditioner's here? She didn't follow me to Japan did she?
Easier than last time when I'd had to beat her in a match, she must have
been tired out. There's a bad vibe hanging around...
<RRUUMMBBLLEE!!>
Lisa: WHAT?! Oh no!! *There is a another floor below it!!*
(Everyone looks down to the floor -- including Mousse who was fighting
Kuno, thinking it was Ranma and Tom and Mercedes, who were flooring the
Canadians. Suddenly there is no floor, apart from one fifty feet below.
While the arena subsides the audience area doesn't.)
Lisa: (looks towards the unconscious Ukyo and picks her up as they fall
to the rubble below) I'm no killer -- not like my family totally were!
I'm not gonna let anyone die!
(As the rubble falls, Akane grabs hold of Shampoo just as her unconscious
body threatens to land on a protruding sharp steel pole. The dust
settles, and the extent of Ryoga's actions can be seen. Most of the above
floor -- the original arena -- is gone, apart from the pool and it's
foundations -- which are threatening to give way. There are clearings
amid the mountains of rubble -- bits of the above floor (ie concrete,
stabilizing rods and all the other stuff found there), weapons, the
platforms -- it's a bit like an inside rubbish tip. Lisa is standing in
one of the clearings holding an unconscious Ukyo, Akane is in another
clearing, placing Shampoo's unconscious body on the floor, dangerously
near to the foundations of the very deep swimming pool from the above
floor.
Mousse and Kuno have continued their fight on the opposite side and Tom
is finishing off the distraught Canadians and is starting on the French,
who are much tougher. Mercedes is trying to scramble up the wall out of
there... Kodachi and Kosuke have managed to be lifted up by fans by
clinging to holes in the wall, when the arena had fallen through .)
Commentator: (from above, leaning over) It seems, for the girls, that
there is a tie between two -- Akane Tendo and Lisa Lawless.
Akane: that second name sounds familiar..?
Ryoga: (standing on top of one of these mountains, beside the clearing
where Lisa is) where did he go? (looks around but can see no sign of
Ranma)
Lisa: (puts Ukyo down on her back) (gravely) I think he might have got
caught in the collapse and is probably (shivers) buried alive under one
of these mountains. Jeesh, what a way to go!
Ryoga: That means I win our man-to-man fight, finally! (thinks) But at
what cost? I never really wanted to kill Ranma... just hospitalise him
for few months while I wooed Akane from his grasp...
Lisa: but at what cost? (thinks) If only I knew where he is, I might be
able to help...
Ryoga: aaah! (a hand from the rubble grabs Ryoga's leg and throws him
down the mountain heap.)
Ranma: (starts to emerge from the rubble) your sympathy touches me,
Ryoga.
Lisa: I never realised how tenacious you were!
Ranma: (poses on top of the heap) heh, I guess brute strength just comes
naturally to me.
Lisa: (rolls her eyes) the same could be said for your arrogance...
(A few moments before...)
Ryoga: (falling down the mountain) eeeeyaaahh!
<FLUMP!>
Ryoga: (face down on top of something) a soft landing, good. (looks to
see what he's landed on) ohhh!!! (his body paralysed with shock)
Ukyo: (begins to open her eyes) that hurt... (looks at what's on top of
her) R-R-Ry.. (Ryoga is lying face down on top of her, their eyes lock
for a second, Ryoga unable to move, when Ukyo comes to her senses)
JACKASS PERVERT!
<WHACK!> <CRASH!>
(Ryoga ends up piling into one of the mountains, causing it to fall over
on top of the Russians, the last team -- apart from the Japanese (inc.
Shampoo and Conditioner) and some of the Brits -- left.)
Ryoga: (scrambling out of the mess) This is not a good day. (unconscious
now)
Shampoo: (begins to waken up when she sees Akane) violent girl! (throws
bonbori at Akane)
Akane: ha! (dodge) miss --
<RUMBLE> <RUMBLE>
Akane: what? (looks round and sees that Shampoo's bonbori has hit the
side of the swimming pool and is causing an ever increasing crack to be
formed) oh, oh no! (locked to spot with fear while Shampoo scrambles
away)
Lisa: (thinks) Here I go! (jumps towards the breaking wall )
Ranma: Akane, watch!! (dashes for Akane)
Akane: !
CHAPTER 8: JUST A GIRL
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(The wall is cracking up but Lisa puts her left palm to it and seems to
be concentrating deeply.)
Ranma: Akane! Take my hand! (Akane accepts his offer)
Lisa: (Her hand emanates some sort of wierd pastel glow which seeps
through
the cracks stops the
wall from cracking further, the Chinese and Japanese sections of the
audience seem to be oohing and aahing with a sense of relief and a
feeling of horror.) Get out! (Lisa seems to be sweating as everyone
stares amazedly) Get out!!
Tom: *what's going on?! What are you doing?! I'm not leaving you here!!*
<WHOCK!>
Cologne: (starts to drag an unconscious Tom away with help from Mousse)
**Hello again... Laixa...**
Lisa: **nice to see you... Cologne. Would love to chat 'bout ol' times
but I'm a little busy.** (Lisa's hands begin to go all red and it is
obvious she is weakening. Everyone scrambles throught the back door,
Ranma, a little reluctantly, but persuaded to leave by Akane.)
<CLICK!>
(The door closes. Lisa takes her hand away from the wall and backs away
slowly, then she steps on Shampoo's bonbori.)
<CRRACK!>
Lisa: oh no... (starts to sweat)
(The wall lets the water go and Lisa watches in horror as it tumbles
monsterously towards her, destroying what's left of the lower arena. Lisa
jumps at the last second, just as the water touches her feet. She jumps
up 50 feet in the air, twirls mid-air and grabs onto the top of the glass
barrier. She leaps into the shocked audience and jumps over their heads.
That is until she hears a crack and another rumble.)
Commentator: the stadium's collapsing! Everyone, out! (people scramble
for the door, crushing each other.)
Lisa: !! (stands there just as the last leave. She sees that there is
no-one left) (thinks) all the destuction and the heavy crowds must have
weakened the structure! (she puts one of her hands to one of the walls of
the stadium and a stronger bright light comes out but the walls keep
cracking) I haven't completely mastered it! I'm so too weak!! A shame to
my wretched family!! (Lets go of the wall and makes a dash for the exit.)
Nearly there!! Glad I didn't get stuck in a dilemma or I would've been
totally caught between a rock and a hard place!
<KAW-WHAMMY!>
Lisa: (now trapped under a large piece of rock) let me revise that last
statement. (on edge of consciousness) Look, the flying elephants are
back! Yaaaay! (her eyes go blank)
Tom: *LISA! (dashes towards her as bits of the building rock and roll
around him) I won't let you die! (manages to lift the boulder from on top
of Lisa, breaking his pain barrier into unchartered territory, picks her
up and dashes outside, collapsing with Lisa in his arms as he just gets
out of the stadiums mammoth reach into the stunned crowds) my back...!
Lisa, are you conscious?*
Lisa: (stirring) *not for long... get me out of here.*
Tom: *why?*
Person #1: **is she the one who saved us with that ancient technique?**
Tom: **yes, she saved you all. You better be grateful.**
Person #2: (realisation dawns on their face) **then she must be...
descended from the... the... Yoretsu's'! Only those who can do what she
just did are part of that bloodline!**
Person #3: **but she's far too pretty to be part of such a hideous and
cruel clan!**
Person #1: **what she demonstrated was the Yoretsu's' once-secret
technique of the Ultimate Control of Things! Holding together or
destroying something with only your spiritual energy!**
Tom: **you can say that without a hint of irony?!**
Person #1: **the Yoretsu's' were an ancient 3'000 year-old family who
travelled over Asia and came from Europe! They took advantage of
villagers with their amazing martial arts skill, strength, intelligence
and... <ah-hem> psychic powers which made them capable of telepathy and
the ability to bend others to their will, often taking control of their
bodies!! They used these skills to destroy villages, terrorise emperors
and declare war on anyone who came in their way, especially ninjas, and
they often paired up with the Chinese Amazon tribes! Some even said that
they had links with the deities! The family was supposed to have been
wiped out over 40 years ago when ambushed by ninjas but... but... she is
proof they haven't!**
Tom: you don't expect me to buy that! Even if it's true, Lisa can't be a
Yoretsu, she doesn't even look Chinese! She looks um....
international....
Person #1: **exactly. Their background is mixed from many countries, even
though they were said to be descended from a kind and well-mannered,
European race. But then something happened and they changed irrevocably.
**
Tom: **say... did they have psychotic tempers and dramatic mood swings?**
Person #2: **no, they were the strong, silent types who thought things
through.**.
Tom: **well, Lisa definitely cannot be one of them, she's a psycho chick!
And I've never heard of them!**
Person #2: and when did they start teaching Chinese history in a Western
school?**
Tom: **they do History classes at school?! Wow! I never did take too much
notice...**
Person #3: ** sooo... when they were doling out the brains, you were back
in the queue for looks, getting extra?**
Tom: (pleased) **I'm not that bad-looking, am I?**
(Person #3 rolls their eyes)
Person # 4: enough of this! My great-grandfather was tortured by her
people and she must be tortured too!
Tom: you do great in a TV movie, your over-acting is really polished!
Person #1: **getting back to the matter at hand, she is from the
Yoretsu's and so she must die!**
Crowd: (a mixture of Chinese and Japanese and English) she must pay for
the injustices her family did to all of ours, she must suffer for her
family's tyrannous cruelty!
Tom: (laughs) *good one!*
<BAM!>
Tom: (bruised eye) *you're not joking! Moody or what?! Well, I'm not
going to hold back! (Suddenly hundreds of people surround them) C'mon
Lis! Let's get 'em! Lisa? Lisa?! Wake up!*
Lisa: (rambling) stupid people... save lives... try kill me... bad
people... stupid family...
Tom: *looks like I'll have to jump up to escape.* (picks up Lisa)
Man #1: (very tall) you're not going anywhere! Hand her over!
Tom: what is she, a toy?!
Man #1: she's a Yoretsu's, that's enough. (clenches fists)
Tom: *ungrateful pigs!*
Voice: stop! Leave those kids alone, cowards!
Tom: *who is that?*
Lisa: (groggy) *it's Cologne!**
Cologne: (hops through the crowd to the centre) **you're safe now,
Laixa!**
Tom: **Laixa! Who's that?**
Cologne: **you're holding her.**
Tom: **Lisa is Laixa!!**
Cologne: (to Lisa) **he's a quick one, isn't he?**
Lisa: (fighting sleep) **tell me about it.**
Man #1: hey! We ain't finished with her, old lady.
Cologne: the blissful stupidity of youth -- empty heads with empty fists!
Man #1: get them all! (the whole crowd swarms in, circling the three.)
<WHACK!> <WHICK!> <WHOCK!>
(The cloud of dust settles and everyone except Lisa, Tom and Cologne are
unconscious. Cologne is holding her
'walking stick' with a 'what-a-bore-this-happens-all-the-time' look.)
Tom: **you're one of those Amazon people aren't you? I remember you,
you're Conditioner's great-grandmother!!**
Cologne: **I'll soon be your great-grandmother in law...**
Tom: **not if I have anything to do with it!**
Cologne: **who said you did? Come with me, I think it's time our little
Laixa found out a little more about her heritage...**
Tom: **don't you think she's heard everything she needs to know?**
Cologne: **half-truths hide the real picture...**
Tom: **why do you care? Even if her family were good friends with you
Chinese Amazons, it's not like you two are related or anything --**
Cologne: **oh but we are, (to Lisa) isn't that right?**
Lisa: (half awake) **whatever you say... great aunt.**
Tom: **wha..?! A Chinese Amazon! That's where Lisa gets her bad temper
from!*
Lisa: grrrrr.... (jumps out of his arms with new vigour)
<WHA-BAMP!>
Cologne: **awake now, dear?**
Lisa: (dragging along Tom's unconscious body) **yes, thanks.**
(Ten minutes beforehand.... Ranma and co. look over to where the crowd is
gathering, themselves recovering from the 'incident'.)
Ranma: man, what did she do?! I think I recognise that technique.
Akane: what is she? I've never seen a technique that powerful. (Both of
them suddenly realise that they've been holding hands, blush and part
hands, looking at the ground awkwardly.)
Cologne: she's something special. It's not my place to tell, I'll leave
that to Lisa.
Shampoo: she very strong and powerful, is she a Yore --?
Cologne: -- leave it to her to tell everyone, great-granddaughter.
(whispers) **Yes, she is one, but is harmless as she is only a half-breed
and didn't inherit any of the hereditary personality.**
Shampoo: (whispers) **half-breed?! What does that mean?**
Ranma: this whole thing makes no sense. Everyone's acting so weird.
(Seems to remember something) Akane, are you OK? You look a little pale.
(A concerned look crosses his face)
Akane: I'm fine. (looks at him with a smile on her face) Thanks for
trying to save me.
Ranma: <ba-bump> uh... yeah... sure... um...
Ryoga: (sad) Akane...
Shampoo: (sees the two locked in each other's gaze) girl no get Ranma! I
save husband! (Dashes towards the two)
Mousse: wait, Shampoo!!
Conditioner: twin sister, stop! You're causing too much panic!
Kuno: (to Akane) my love!
Ukyo: You leave Ran-chan alone, Shampoo! Akane!
<SPLLASSSSHHH!!> <SPLLAASSH!!>
(That stops everyone as they watch the unusual but usual
transformations.)
Ryoga: (with a couple of buckets and an umbrella) Leave Akane alone!!
She's had a hard time!
Akane: (thinks) Ryoga...? Does he care..?
Mousse-duck: quack.
Shampoo-cat: meow.
Ranma: c-c-c-cat! EEEYAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!! (runs around madly)
Conditioner: (all wet) **Shampoo... is cat?! Cat... is Shampoo?!**
Akane: (to Ranma, who missed the water) wait! Stop!
Kuno: (clothes all soaking wet, too) (to Akane) my love!
<PAM!>
Mercedes: leave them alone, pervert!
Kuno: I shall let you date me.
Mercedes: who wants to date you? And where did all these shapeshifters
come from? Neat! (To Ryoga) I bet you're glad you're not one of them, at
least you're all man! (Ryoga nearly chokes on this last comment, Ukyo
takes note) (thinks) He's so cute! And my age! ...I wonder if he's
taken..?
Commentator: (shouts through a rolled up piece of paper) The competition
has been declared a draw! The prize money will be split between the
remaining contestants!! (looks around) Wherever they are....
Girl #1: oh, look at that cute duck! It's giving that siamese cat roses!
Girl #2: (beside her) look, the cat's spurning the duck!
Girl #1: (starts to cry) ooh, what a tragedy!
Akane: (turns Shampoo human again and, much to the disappointment of the
men onlookers, Akane quickly puts a big shirt over the naked Shampoo)
(Sees Ranma is still in a standing coma) Wake up dolt! We have to get
home for lunch! I'll leave you here if you don't wake up! (slaps him
several times)
(Yet for all Akane's compassion and patience, Ranma does not wake up.)
Akane: (to everyone else) go home! I'll deal with this idiot.
Mercedes: maybe see you later.
Akane: nice to see someone else beat up Kuno for a change, Mercedes. Feel
free to drop by, it'll be nice to have someone sane in our house. (waves
goodbye)
(Conditioner chases after Shampoo, who is trying to strangle
Mousse-duck, just for being Mousse. Kuno starts to fight with his sister
in the distance. Cologne has disappeared. Meanwhile Ukyo tries to lead
Ryoga towards Ucchan's for something to eat.)
(...Ukyo, at her shop, offers Ryoga a cold drink, which he refuses
nervously. Getting suspicious, she tries to distract him...)
Ukyo: look, there's Ranma! (thinks) Is he cursed? I wonder what he turns
into...? Maybe that's what he's got a grudge Ran-chan for? Does he turn
into a girl, too?
Ryoga: where?!
<SPLISH!>
Ukyo: (sees that there's no-one opposite the counter from her and comes
to the conclusion that he is cursed) Ryoga!! Where are you? Don't hide!
It's OK! (looks over the counter and sees that there's a something trying
to sneak out, she grabs it and holds it up) P-chan? Where did you come
from? Never mind, you're cold, let's give you a hot bath. (The pig madly
shakes his head in disagreement.) I thought you'd agree! (P-chan
scrambles to get loose) OK, OK I'm going as fast as I can! (runs into the
bathroom) Stop scrambling! (about to throw him in) You are a feisty
little pig aren't you, sugar? Here goes...
<SLAP!> <FIIIISSSSH!>
(A few moments later...)
Ukyo: Y-you're...!!!!
Ryoga: (sitting in the bath, looking very embarrassed) hi....Ukyo....
Ukyo: YYOOUUU PIIIG!!!
(A few minutes later Ryoga is sitting at the side of the baths, dressed
but with a swollen eye. Ukyo is sitting a few feet away, pretty shaken,
then she starts laughing.)
Ryoga: what's so funny?
Ukyo: you're P-chan, Akane's cute li'l black piggy! That's why Ranma was
always so angry at "widdle P-chan"! (laughs)
Ryoga: hey, it's not my fault I've got this wretched curse!! (thinks)
"cute" huh?
Ukyo: course not porky!
Ryoga: hey, I'm not fat!!
Ukyo: of course not! You have a very nice bod -- (claps hand over mouth)
(blushes)
Ryoga: (proudly) you think so..?
Ukyo: yes, you're... cute, I guess...
Ryoga: y-you're not too bad yourself... (They look at each other for a
moment or two, Ukyo snaps herself out of it)
Ukyo: Um.. so who's fault was it, the curse that is?
Ryoga: ...it all started when Ranma didn't turn up for our fight at our
old school...
(A few minutes later, sitting across a table from each other...)
Ukyo: so, not only is the girl you love not know what you are or that you
love her but...
Ryoga: (resting his chin on his hand) but... I think she's in love
with... Ranma and I know he loves her, it's so obvious. The way they
looked at each other today, I just can't see anything else.
Ukyo: can't be...! (to herself) He's obviously mistaken, isn't he? Why
would he lie?
Ryoga: I knew all along... I heard her talk about him in her sleep,
even.. but that thought was too hard to deal with so I pushed it away but
it kept coming back, (looks to the floor) when I was travelling all I
could think of was my dear Akane. And he... he has just kept teasing me
about it, my curse, when he was the cause of it. And the terrible way he
treated Akane, I just wanted to kill him!
Ukyo: but you didn't kill him?
Ryoga: I could never kill him, I-I just couldn't.
Ukyo: there's nothing wrong with that Ryoga, I think that with all you've
been through it was the best thing any guy could have done, I'm proud of
you. I never knew Ran-chan had hurt you so much...
Ryoga: now, he's got Akane (sees Ukyo's look) and I have to stop living
in denial... I have nowhere to go, I can't go back to the Tendo's, I just
can't. Looking at her face is too much. It's so hard being -- feeling --
so alone. You know what I mean?
Ukyo: (sadly) I do know. You've just described my life. (thinks) Almost
all of my life, so alone, apart from Ran-chan. I won't let my Ranma slip
out of my life now.
Ryoga: yeah, sorry, I guess you do... I'd better get going now. (gets up)
Ukyo: wait! You don't have a place to go, do you? (pause) I thought not,
you could stay at my place until you find somewhere more suitable.
Ryoga: I-I c-couldn't!
Ukyo: I would appreciate the company, someone to talk to...
Ryoga: (smiles nervously) just a few nights...
Ukyo: just a few... Let's go and watch some TV.... Ryoga!! You're going
the wrong way! This is the way to the sitting room!
Ryoga: oh right! Coming.
Ukyo: no! This way! Why are you going that way?!
<FSSSSHH!>
P-chan: bwee!
Ukyo: (puts down hose) you'll be easier to take now... (picks him up)
(Half an hour before, just as everyone was leaving on Akane's orders,
outside the stadium....)
Akane: (to a comatose Ranma) Wake up! I'm getting hungry!
A little voice inside of Akane's head: so, why don't you just go? What's
keeping you?
Akane: (to the voice) because I can't leave him here... like this....
something might happen... I don't want anything to happen to him...
<sigh> ever... (to Ranma, gently) I hate your father for doing this to
you, Ranma, for getting you that curse, for getting you engaged against
your will twice... We could've got along much better without those things
in our way, you might have even like me... loved me.... (looks into his
eyes and smiles) I think it's cute to have a weakness, even if it's
against little pet cats... What am I doing?! I never talk to myself! It's
obvious that you don't want to marry me, so...
Ranma: (waking up, while standing) marry... marriage? What? (looks
around) What happened? Where is everyone?
Akane: Shampoo turned into a cat. Is further explanation needed? Let's go
home, I'm hungry.
Ranma: sure! Akane, are you OK? You've been acting funny for the past few
days...
Akane: nothing's wrong, idiot! Are you coming or not? (walks off, Ranma
starts to follow)
Ranma: wait up! (thinks) So she thinks my weakness is cute, eh? (puts
hand through hair and poses)
{Ranma picks out the important things in a conversation doesn't he?}
(Lisa is walking to the Tendo's with Tom and Cologne, who had been
telling Lisa about the Yoretsu's' connections with the Chinese Amazons,
managing to have a rather restrained conversation....)
Lisa: idiot.
Tom: *zero sex appeal.*
Lisa: jerkface.
Tom: *macho.*
Lisa: thick as a brick.
Cologne: you two act like you're married....
Tom & Lisa: What?! No! Hey, stop repeating what I'm saying!
Cologne: (with a subtley devilish grin on face)..it's a pity Tom's
already engaged...
Lisa: What?! You pervert!! (about to kick him into the fifth dimension
when...)
Cologne: ...to Conditioner...
Lisa: CONDITIONER?!! YOU'RE MARRYING THAT AIRHEAD?!
Tom: *no..no! That's n --*
Cologne: (to Lisa) don't speak about your cousin like that!
Lisa: *I can't believe this and I thought.... I thought... *
Tom: *thought what?*
Lisa: *thought... (looks away) ..nothing!*
Cologne: (thinks) it worked. Conditioner has no claim on him, not after
Cufflinks anyway...
Tom: *are you jealous...?*
Lisa: *you really are an arrogant idiot! Why would I --*
Akane: (from the front door) Hi Lisa! Hi Tom! Come in and have something
to eat!
Lisa: as long as you aren't cooki --
Akane: -- Cologne! What do you want? Grrrr.... (clenches fist)
Cologne: don't even think about it, little girl, I'm a hundred years
ahead of you!
Akane: someone was looking for you, Lisa.
Lisa: who?
Akane: didn't say. Oh, everyone's here! We all want to know what's going
on!
Tom: *are you going to be OK with this?*
Lisa: *course I am! If I can deal with you, I can deal with anything!*
Tom: *klutz.*
Lisa: pervert.
Tom: *psycho.*
{It goes on like this for a while..}
Lisa: (enters back porch) arrogant jeuuhh??! (sees a huge crowd of people
in the back garden, all chatting and having a drink, as if it were a
party, with a long banner up saying "Lisa's judgement day - Historic
moment -200 yen to watch, no discounts available") Nabiki!!!(sees Nabiki
letting people through a back entrance for a small charge)
Nabiki: just making some money! (counts up her few thousand yen... so
far)
Tom: (smugly) *don't worry, if you can deal with me you can deal with
anything, right? Like a few hundred people paying to watch you reveal
deep, dark secrets you've kept hidden in your soul, per say?*
Lisa: *yeah, sure I can!* (in Japanese) Now clear off everyone and leave
me alone!
Kasumi: now be nice to our guests, Lisa.
Lisa: sorry Kasumi...Alright already, everyone, if you ain't gonna leave,
stop sponging off Kasumi's good nature and listen up! You're hear to find
out my past, right?! (the audience turns to face her.) Here goes.... I'm
half Yoretsu and half Chinese Amazon, my mother, Migelli Yoretsu, was a
little girl and ran away when the ninjas ambushed my family and brutally
killed them all, she was taken in by the Amazons and married Makeover,
Shampoo's uncle, she had me but was forced to give me up because the
ninjas were back and after her and so gave me to some friends in England
but I left them when I felt old enough to. Yes I do know all the
Yoretsu's' techniques, I met Makeover on a trip to China and he taught me
all of 'em. I'm also pretty psychic too and can read all your minds if I
want to! Yadda yadda yadda... Now the boring things are done with let's
-- (loudly) (shocked) oh my, Ranma! Really! You shouldn't be thinking
such thoughts, even if she is your fiancée!
Mousse: how dare you think of my Shampoo like that?! (jumps towards
Ranma, for once)
Shampoo: who's yours?! (hits Mousse)
Akane: what?! Ranma, you pervert, well you can have Shampoo that much if
you want to! (picks up a spare boulder and prepares to smash him with it)
Ranma: wait! I don't know what --
Lisa: -- to do? Of course, asking Akane to marry you must be difficult.
Ranma: what?!
Akane: Ranma do you want to m-marry m-me?!!
Ranma: a macho chick like you! No way!
Akane: grrr...
<SPAAAP!>
Lisa: Akane!! That is not the way to ask the guy you fancy, out!
Ranma: !
Akane: <pink!> I don't know what she's talking about!!
Lisa: yes, you poor thing, you're worried that confessing your love will
distance you from him and so are in constant denial of your feelings...
Ranma: !!
Akane: (to Lisa) hey! What are you talking about?! That pervert?! I don't
think so!
Nodoka: well, it's good to see those two admit their feelings for each
other.
Kodachi: I shall get you, Akane, for daring to think of My Ranma darling!
Ryoga: (to Ranma) you brute! Hurting Akane's feelings like that like
that! (dives for him)
Ranma: what?!
Lisa: Ryoga... like, really! Keep your mind on your fight, not, like, on
Ukyo!!
Ranma: Ukyo?! You and Uk --
Ryoga: <pink!> it's a lie!! I would never like Ukyo in that way!!
Ukyo: oh....why not??!! Think I'm ugly?! Not good enough for you, ne?!!
(goes for Ryoga)
Ryoga: I didn't mean that!
Lisa: (pretend horror) Well, am I shocked by some of those horrible
thoughts in all you young people! But none of them compare to yours,
Nabiki! I never realised what kind of mind you had! And all about Kuno
too! I thought that you didn't even like him, now it seems that you want
to share more than photographs with him!!
Nabiki: she's lying!
Kuno: Nabiki, my dear blackmailer, never would I have guessed that you --
Nabiki: Kuno, it's not like that!!
Akane: (boots him into the sky) leave my sister alone!
Kuno: (falling fast back down to earth) oh dear Akane, never would I have
thought that you would have shown your jealousy so openly, never mind I
shall have you all and we shall all liv --
<KUW-WHUMP!!>
(Kuno has just bonded deeply with the ground.)
Lisa: and Mr Saotome...
Genma-panda: (bigsweats) [what could she have on me?] (thinks) What
couldn't she have on me?
Lisa: ...how much money did you cheat out of Mr. Tendo in that shogi game
last week?! You really should have played fair!!
Soun: Genma! My friend! How could you?! (starts crying)
Genma-panda: (sweating) [wait! Wait! She's lying!]
Lisa: ..and as for Kasumi... (everyone who isn't fighting looks towards
Lisa in silence)
Kasumi: (smiles innocently) yes?
Lisa: (breaks under Kasumi's near flawless personality) ...uh, nice
cookies! (everyone relaxes)
Kasumi: thank you!
Lisa: now... unless you all leave now, I'll do the same to you...!
Man #1: you'll compliment our cooking?
Lisa: no, space cadet! I'll totally read your minds and expose your
thoughts to the world!!! Unless of course you want me to..? How 'bout I
tell that woman at your work how you really feel about her? How you think
she's really --
Man #1: (nervous) -- er... no (dashes off and soon, everyone else does
likewise, apart from the feuders, who have just caused Nerima's property
prices to fold even more)
Lisa: (walks back into the house) *that was a blast!*
Tom: *did you really read their minds?!*
Lisa: *no, I'm on an off-day.*
Tom: *so they weren't really thinking that?*
Lisa: *I dunno! Do y'really think I would say "oh my!" and be freaked out
by such totally pathetic thoughts! By the way, singing that song in your
silly little head is useless, if I really wanted to read your mind I'd
have done it already!*
Tom: *like I have anything to hide!*
Lisa: *you expect me to believe that, what about forgetting to mention Co
--?*
Voice: **Toommmm!!! I miss you!**
<GLOMP!>
Conditioner: (wrapped round Tom so tightly he can't breathe) **I've
missed you, it's been hours since I saw you last! What is she (Lisa)
doing here? **
Tom: (struggling to breathe) **Conditioner... I... <gasp> ..I..**
Conditioner: **you're so overcome to see me, you're lost for words!**
(hugs him tighter)
Tom: **I... need... <gasp> ....need..**
Lisa: **well, don't let me interfere with your needs!!!!** (starts to
get real mad) I'm off!!
Tom: *Lisa... please...*
Conditioner: **leave me and Tom alone, violent cousin!** (grips on to Tom
even more fiercely, suddenly he does that fainting-while-standing-up
thing) (he then keels over onto his back)
Lisa: (kicks Conditoner through roof but still Tom doesn't awake) Tom!!
Wake up you fool! Tom!! (checks to see if he's breathing, he's not)
(rushes out to the back for help, no-one is there and the back garden is
totally trashed, with some of the wall missing) (Lisa runs back,
panicking) Oh my god, what am I going to do?! The hospitals are no where
near here! This is so not a decent vibe!
Conditioner: **I'll give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation...**
Lisa: **you are _so_ not getting to do that!!** (pushes Conditioner
aside)
Conditioner: **are you going to give him mouth-to-mouth? (Lisa stops in
her tracks) Thought not!**
<WHAM!> <KRACK!!>
(Conditioner has formed a quick relationship with the roof and is now
taking a free economy-class flight round Nerima.)
Conditioner: (flying) **ooh, what a lovely view!**
Lisa: I can totally do this!! (puts her face up to Tom's to check his
breathing, there is none) (to herself) C'mon Lisa! If you can get through
this... Tom will be OK... oh... errr... Why am I so nervous? It's just
payback for him saving my life! (takes in air and puts her lips to his,
blowing oxygen through his lungs) (Unfortunately Tom decides to wake up
at this precise moment.)
Tom: (stands up and backs away) *Lisa?! What were you doing?!!*
Lisa: (flushed) *I was... uh... giving you mouth-to-mouth... you had
fainted and had stopped breathing! Don't go gettin' any perverted ideas
or anything like that!*
Tom: *like I'd want to kiss you, of all people, anyway! There's no-one I
want to kiss less!!*
Lisa: *you don't have the guts to! You're all talk!*
Tom: *oh yeah? Wanna bet?*
Lisa: *go on, then! Coward!*
Tom: *fine!*
Lisa: *fine!*
Tom: (moves closer) *here goes..* (moving closer) (holds her head in his
hands and kisses her) (she puts her hands round his neck and the kiss
deepens)
Conditioner: **Tom don't do that!**
<P-KOW!>
Conditioner: (dragging an unconscious Tom away) (tear in eye) **Don't do
that...**
Lisa: (eyes glazed over) ...word on that! Dope! A ten definitely! Oh, yes
indeedy... a _ten_.
Nabiki: (walks in, a minute later) what's up?
Lisa: (still dazed) uh?
Nabiki: you look a little out of it.
Lisa: mmm-hmm! (starts whistling 'Hawaii-Five-O' theme tune)
Nabiki: say Lisa, is it OK if I sell pictures of you to Kuno and any
other interested parties?
Lisa: (singing) whatever you want....
Nabiki: I'm taping this conversation.
Lisa: Fine... fine... fine.
Nabiki: bye now! (leaves)
Lisa: Byeee!!! <sigh>
<SPLUSH!>
Akane: (carrying bucket) oh, sorry Lisa, that water was meant for Ranma.
Ranma: (suddenly at Akane's back) that was for me? You need to be faster
than that if you want to catch me!
<SHWAMM!>
Akane: (holding table) that better? Well? Say something, you idiot!
Lisa: I think he's unconscious.
Akane: that's no excuse!
~~~~~~~~~
End of chapters 7 & 8....
As usual C & C wanted desperately. Still one more part to go and then...
who knows how I'll finish it?
eve.harper@usa.net
eve@cheerful.com