Please note that I am not the author of this piece. Greg Thompson is,
and he's not currently on the FFML. So send any comments directly to him at
oni@mindspring.com
Ranma 1/2: Enter Perfume
Chapter One:
Pictures this: Nerima, Japan...1996 (Or whenever the series took
place...)
Ranma stood in the training hall of the Tendo Dojo. Sweat beads
had
already formed on his brow and he hadn't even started practicing yet. He
had come to the hall to practice, but no, some people had another idea in
mind. Before him stood Soun, Genma, Ryoga, Kuno, Mousse, Cologne, Akane,
Ukyo, Shampoo and Kodachi.
They were forcing him to make his decision about his fiancee, here,
now and forever. He had to choose and there was no way around it. If he
didn't they would all pummel him. But the way Ranma saw it, he'd be
pummeled no matter who he chose. The worst part was, he didn't want to
choose...not necessarily because he didn't care, either.
A single bead of sweat rolled down his cheek. He looked at Akane.
If he chose her, Soun and his father would be certainly happy. Akane,
well,
who knows. But he'd surely get his butt kicked by everyone else in the
room
except maybe for Mousse.
He fixed his gaze on Ukyo. His father wouldn't dare hit him for
choosing her, since his being engaged to her was all Genma's fault to begin
with. But, surely, Soun, Akane, Shampoo, Cologne and Kodachi would without
hesitation, he surmised.
He turned to Shampoo. Hmm...he'd have to face Mousse, the Tendos,
his father and Kodachi for this one. Kodachi...No...definitely not her.
He never had any real interest in her from the beginning, no matter what
anyone else had to say about that.
Ranma's hair was soaking with sweat now. His shirt stuck to his
body, drenched as well. Ranma kept moving his eyes from girl to girl, then
to the crowd off to the side, all welding their respective, typical
weapons.
There was only one way out of this, he thought. And that would have to be
a
miracle.
"Ranma, be a man and take them all!" Happosai suggested, as the
old
man entered the hall.
"Come on, boy. We're waiting..." Genma huffed.
"Oh, Ranma! If only you'd married my Akane when you first met,
then
this would never have happened," Soun bawled.
"Saotome," Kuno started. "The vengence of heaven is sure, but
true.
If you do not chose who you are to love, verily, you will be considered an
enemy to women as well as your fellow men." Everyone else muttered or
thought along those same lines, or about what they'd do to Ranma if he
didn't choose correctly, etc.
Ranma sighed, closed his eyes, raised his arm up, stuck out his
index
finger and began to lower his arm. "I...uhh...want..." Before his arm
lowered, and before he could finish, the door to the hall slammed open with
such force the door fell out of the track and landed on the floor.
The outside light blinded the entire crowd in the room. As they
turned to see who it was, a shadowed, shapely female figure stood there.
"How
dare you even think of marrying anyone else!?!" she bellowed. "I know you
better than anyone else here in this room, and yet you dare try to marry
someone else?" Her voice eerily familiar.
"WHO?" everyone said in unison. As their eyes adjusted to the
light,
everyone gasped seeing who it was. There she stood. Red-haired and pig-
tailed, Ranma's female form. Ranma fell to the floor. "WHA!?! HOW!?!"
Ranma-chan stormed in and grabbed Ranma-kun by the shirt collar.
"And to think that...that we even slept together..." she sobbed,
gazing into Ranma-kun's eyes, tears flowing freely. His jaw, like everyone
else's in the room, was on the floor...umm...make that *through* the floor.
"B-b...WHAT ARE YOU TALKING AB--!!" Before he could finish, Ranma-
chan kissed Ranma-kun passionately on the lips.
* * *
Ranma snapped awake, and sat up. His breath was fast and raspy.
His
bed roll, like his clothes were drenched in sweat. Ranma caught his breath
and reflected on his dream for a moment.
"Wha-what was that all about?" he wondered out loud. He stood up,
rolled up his bed and grabbed his bathing pan. As he entered the bathroom,
he looked in the mirror. He looked as if he hadn't slept for a week.
Ranma
sighed, removed his clothes and stepped into the bathtub.
* * *
Akane entered the dining room, carrying P-chan and yawning. Ranma
sat at the table, staring off into space. Genma was eating his and Ranma's
food, while everyone else ate their's, respectively.
"Good morning, Akane," Kasumi piped, happily.
"Good morning, everyone," she replied, sounding a little fatigued,
sitting down next to Ranma. She looked at him, his eyes were rather glazed
over and he was definitely out of it. "Ranma, are you okay?" No response.
She waved her hand in front of his face.
"He's been like that all morning," Nabiki commented, reaching for
some more rice. P-chan grinned evilly, walked over to Ranma and bit his
leg.
No response. P-chan's went wide and he backed away slowly, this was weird,
even for Ranma, he thought.
After breakfast, Akane grabbed her books and returned to the dining
room. "Come on, Ranma, we're going to be late." Still no response.
"HEY! RANMA!" she cried. Akane sighed, and booted Ranma into the pond.
"What'd you do that for, you un-cute tom-boy!!" Ranma-chan cried,
as
she emerged from the water, only to be shoved back in, by the force of her
book satchel, courtesy of one irate Akane.
"EXCUSE ME FOR WORRYING ABOUT YOU!!" she screamed as she dashed off
for school. Ranma-chan crawled out of the pond muttering something about
how un-cute Akane was. She walked into the kitchen, grabbed the hot water
off the stove and poured it on herself.
A few minutes later, Ranma caught up with Akane. "Yo, Akane!"
"What do you want?" she demanded, trying not to sound hurt.
"Look...I just wanted to say I'm sorry and thanks for being
concerned
about me," he said, hoping he sounded sincere enough. Akane stopped and
looked up at him.
"What's wrong with you, this morning?" she asked. Ranma jumped off
the fence, stood next to Akane, and began to walk toward to school.
"I...I guess I'll tell you as we go," he stuttered. As they
walked,
Ranma explained the weird dream he had, and that it had really upset him,
but
the worst part was that he couldn't understand why. Akane listened, and
for
once didn't call him a pervert for even thinking it. She suggested that
all
this fiancee thing and his curse was finally getting to him
psychologically.
"I don't know. It seemed like so much more than that. Almost as
if...it were an omen," he said.
"An omen? I never thought you the superstitious-type, Ranma,"
Akane
joked.
"That's just it...I'm not..."
As Akane and Ranma walked on, a Chinese cat, purplish-white, with
darker purple markings on its legs, ears and tail watched. She sat there,
mewed quietly to herself and walked on. As she did, a young girl with
with purple hair rode her bike past her. The young girl stopped at a house
to make a delivery. As she waited on the porch her eyes fell upon the cat
she had passed by earlier.
_That cat look familiar,_ Shampoo thought. Just then, the door
opened. "Nihao! Ramen delivery!" she piped, happily as her customer
paid her and took the ramen. Shampoo jumped on her bike and headed back to
Neko-hanten. To everyone, it seemed just a normal day, in a "normal"
Nerima, Japan.
End Chapter Oni...err...One :P
Ranma 1/2: Enter Perfume
Chapter 2: Here's Perfume!
Mousse rode his bike down Main Street. He was making a delivery.
Not too uncommon, but he was glad to be out of Neko-hanten and away from
that
dried up old monkey. Neither of them had seen Shampoo since she had left
to
give that fool Saotome some lunch. That was about two hours ago.
Mousse was worried, but Cologne didn't seem to mind, knowing full
well that her great-granddaughter could very well take care of herself.
Mousse stopped at three houses before he finally came to the right one. He
stepped back over to his bike and sat down on it. He counted his change,
lowered his glasses and pedaled off. As he rode on, he thought of his
favorite topic...Shampoo.
As if a sign from a divine entity, he saw Neko-chan crossing the
street. As she did, a car skidded, heading straight for her. Mousse's jaw
dropped. He had to do something and quick. He leapt from his bike,
launching himself at the oncoming car and Neko-chan.
"SHAMPOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" he cried, grabbing the hapless cat as he
flew by. Mousse rolled himself into a ball and tucked Neko-chan in his
arms.
He hit the ground and rolled. Other than his robe being tattered and
frayed,
he and the cat were fine. Mousse stood up and lowered his glasses to look
at Neko-chan. She was purring up against his chest.
"Sh-Shampoo?" he stammered. He took his glasses off, cleaned them,
then looked at the cat he held in his arms. "IT'S TRUE!!! YOU REALLY DO
LOVE ME!!" he cried. He tucked the still-purring Neko-chan into his robe,
dashed over to his bike and rode off back to Neko-hanten, petting her as he
went.
Mousse put his bike on the side of the building and entered it.
He removed Neko-chan from his robe and set her on the table. He walked
back
into the kitchen. Cologne eyed Mousse, evilly as he entered.
"I need some hot water. Shampoo is..." he started, until he felt
Neko-chan rubbing herself against his legs. Cologne looked at the cat
being friendly with Mousse.
"Shampoo?" Cologne said, completely stunned. "That can't be
Shampoo,
Mousse. You know as well as I do, she isn't at all that friendly to you."
"But I saved her life!"
"Really..." Cologne said, in disbelief. "Hmmm..." Cologne took
the
hot water kettle off of the stove and poured it on Neko-chan. The cat
sputtered and meowed at the old woman. "That's not Shampoo, Mousse." she
said, flatly. "Neko-chan" shook the wetness from her fur.
"Huh? Wha!?!" Mousse started, not believing this. "It can't be!"
"It is, now get back to work," Cologne said, coldly, shoving an
order
of hot ramen at him. "Table 12." Mousse grabbed the bowl and stormed out
of the kitchen. "Neko-chan" meowed at Cologne some more. "What do you
want,
now?" she asked, thinking herself silly. "As if you're going to understand
me." Cologne went over to the refrigerator and poured some milk into a
saucer. She set it on the floor and went back to cooking.
"Neko-chan" sniffed at the milk and began to lap it up. She
stopped
when she heard some commotion outside. Cologne sighed knowing that Mousse
had spilled hot ramen on the customer at Table 12. Mousse re-entered the
kitchen with the now empty bowl on his head.
"Need another order for Table 12," he said. Mousse looked down at
"Neko-chan" and sighed. "What're you keeping the cat for?"
"As a reminder of your stupidity. Now here," she said, handing him
another bowl of ramen. "And if you drop this one, you're out of here."
Mousse grabbed the bowl and stormed back out of the kitchen. "Old
ghoul. I'm not her slave, who does she think she is..." he muttered as he
went.
Mousse came back into the kitchen, still mumbling about how mis-
treated he felt he was. Cologne sighed and threw some water behind her to
shut him up.
"QUACK!!" Mu-Mu cried, trying to gain his balance as he started to
fall to the floor. Mu-Mu smacked his head against the counter and fell to
the floor, unconscious. Beside him, where the would be Neko-chan was, sat
a
young, pert and very naked red-haired, blue-eyed girl. Her hair was
shoulder
length. She looked at the duck lying beside her and mewed. Realizing that
she was a human now, the young girl stood up and left Neko-hanten by the
back
door. When Cologne turned around, all she saw was an empty bowl of milk,
an unconscious duck and wet human foot prints leading out the back door.
* * *
"Ran-chan!" Ukyo cried as she ran over to Ranma carrying a large
plate of okonomiyaki. She set it down in front of Ranma, knocking the
plate
of something that could not have been recognized even if it had dental
records (a lunch Akane had obviously attempted to make) onto the floor.
Akane growled at Ukyo. Ranma blinked for a second. "Uh...thanks,
Ukyo," he said.
"I made it just for you," Ukyo beamed.
"Big deal, so you can cook okonomiyaki!" Akane hissed, standing up
and walking away. _Grrr...Ranma is such a jerk!_ she thought, leaving the
cafeteria. Akane passed some lockers and put her fist through one of them.
It didn't really make her feel any better, but she knew she just
had
to hit something. "He didn't even try it..." Akane sighed to herself and
decided to go for a short walk around the school grounds. Especially since
she heard, Shampoo's typical entrace...*Crash!* "Nihao, Ranma! Dutiful
wife, make husband too-too delicious lunch!" Followed by the typical
arguements between her and Ukyo about who's lunch Ranma would eat. Which
was followed by the typical Ranma eating both lunches, plus Kasumi's.
Elsewhere...
Tatewaki Kuno looked about the Kendo club's training room. He held
his wooden sword idly and lowered his eyes to his opponent. His opponent
stood before him, wearing similar clothing to that of Kuno's. A single
bead
of sweat ran down his head. He took his stance and charged Kuno.
Kuno took the offensive, swinging his sword at lightning speed.
When he stopped, the whole room stood silent. Kuno's opponent stood there,
staring blankly. Within the second after that, he flew back, landing on
the practice mat, staring unconsciously at the ceiling. He was covered
from
head to toe in bruises, each at a vital point.
"Hmph," Kuno muttered. "And to think that you dare to challenge
Furikan High's rising star, the Blue Thunder of the Kendo club? Such a
foolish act can never be justified by any sane mind." Kuno sighed. He
looked out the window of the training hall, watching the wind blow some
cherry blossom leaves. "You may all continue your practice," he said
indifferently.
As Kuno left the club's training hall, he caught wind of something.
He decided to investigate. As he rounded the corner, he felt something
rubbing against his pant leg. He looked down only to see the pig-tailed
girl, only her hair was no longer in a pig-tail, nor was she in any
clothes,
rubbing herself against his legs, purring.
"OH! The pig-tailed girl! Sans the pig-tail...sans clothes for
that
matter..." Kuno blinked, then smiled gratuitously. "OH, PIG-TAILED GIRL!!
YOU DO LOVE ME! As I knew you did! Come, let me take you in my arms and
to
my humble abode where we can consummate your openness to be with me, the
great Tatewaki Kuno!" he cried, glomping "the pig-tailed girl, sans the
pig-
tail".
She growled and hissed at Kuno, and with blinding fury, she
shredded
him as if he were a cat's scratching post. Kuno stood completely stunned
as
the red-haired girl ran off. Kuno fell to the ground, his clothes in
tatters, his hair a mess and light claw marks on his face, arms and chest.
Akane thought she heard something. As she came around the corner,
she saw Kuno lying on the ground. "Kuno!" she yelled, running over to him.
"Who did this to you? What happened?"
"With such fierceness of a tiger, it was the pig-tailed one. Oh,
Akane Tendo! You do care for me!" he cried, glomping her as well. The
next thing he knew he was being hurled through the sky, courtesy of Akane's
fist. She lowered her hand down, remembering Kuno's words. She looked up
only to see what looked like a naked female Ranma dashing over the school
fence, much like he would have if he would have if he were in his cat-fist
phase.
"Ranma?..." she said, just staring.
End Chapter Two...
Ranma 1/2: Enter Perfume
Chapter 3: The secret is out...
Shampoo rode her bike, heading back to Neko-hanten. She was angry.
"Stupid, STUPID, spatula girl!" she muttered. She and Ukyo had gotten into
yet another fight. She wished Ranma would just admit his feelings for her.
She knew he loved her more than either of the other two.
As she rounded the corner, her mood picked up. She saw Ranma. In
his female form, but still it was Ranma. "Aiya! Ranma!" she cried,
leaping
from her bike towards the naked..._Naked?_ she thought..."Ranma-chan".
Shampoo tackled "Ranma-chan", knocking them both into an alley and into a
puddle of water.
Shampoo, now Neko-chan, sputtered and shook the wetness from her
fur.
"Ranma-chan" could only stare. She just sat there, staring wide eyed at
Neko-chan. Neko-chan meowed her concern.
_Odd, why Ranma not run when Shampoo like this now?_ she wondered.
"Ranma-chan" mewed at Neko-chan. She stood up, not taking her eyes
from the cat and picked up the Chinese-style dress. She eyed it oddly,
shook them out and put the dress on. She then bent down and picked up
Neko-chan. She purred against her chest. "Ranma-chan" blushed and mewed
back at her. Neko-chan just looked up at "Ranma-chan" and blinked.
"Ranma-chan" walked off, still carrying Neko-chan, and walked her home.
* * *
Akane sat back down at her desk. She sighed as the classroom
started to fill back in. Her jaw dropped as she watched Ranma and Ukyo
walk
in. She jumped up and ran over to Ranma.
"R-Ranma! You're okay!" she said.
"Of course I am, what're you talking about?" he replied, with Akane
just staring at Ranma. _That's right, he doesn't remember anything after
the cat-fist._ she thought.
"You were in cat-fist mode, a few minutes ago!" she whispered to
him,
pulling him closer to her, so that he would be the only one to hear it.
"Huh? What're you talking about? I was in the cafeteria during
the
entire lunch break. Ask Ukyo," he said.
"But Kuno said...and then I saw you..."
"Akane..." Ranma interrupted, sounding sincere. "Did you eat your
own cooking again?" Akane stopped and stared at Ranma. A sudden and quite
fierce-looking blue glow appeared around her.
"DIE RANMA!!!" she screamed, pummeling him on the spot. She
stormed
back to her seat and plunked herself into it. Ranma lay brutally twisted
on the ground. Ukyo whipped out her spatula, picked Ranma up and plopped
him into his seat.
"There ya go again, Ran-chan," she started.
Akane couldn't help but keep looking back at Ranma for the rest of
the school day. _I saw you with my own eyes. And I don't think there are
too many others with the cat-fist. Plus, Kuno even said it was you,_ she
thought.
"Miss Tendo..." Miss Hinako started. "Are you with us?" Akane
snapped around, almost throwing her neck out as she did.
"Yes, Miss Hinako," she stammered.
"Good, then answer question ten on page twelve."
"Ermmm...." Akane wound up standing in the hallway.
* * *
"Ranma-chan" stood outside of Neko-hanten. She entered the
restaurant
and set Neko-chan on the floor. Cologne came out from kitchen and served
a customer. She looked at who had just entered.
"Son-in-law," she said, somewhat stunned. Neko-chan purred at
Cologne and padded into the kitchen. A short time later, Shampoo emerged
from the kitchen, wearing a similar dress to the one that "Ranma-chan" had
taken. In her hand she was carrying two bowls of ramen.
"Shampoo make Ranma special ramen," Shampoo said, setting one of
the bowls in front of her. "Ranma-chan" sniffed at Shampoo and smiled.
She then looked down at the bowl in front of her and sniffed it.
"Fish?" she said.
"Hai, there is fish sausage in it," Shampoo replied, looking at
"Ranma-chan" oddly. "Ranma-chan" stared at the food. Shampoo blinked
at her.
"Shampoo, why don't you get Ranma some hot water?" Cologne
suggested.
"Okay, Great-grandmother," Shampoo piped and dashed off into the
kitchen. Cologne looked at "Ranma-chan". "Ranma-chan" leaned forward and
slowly began to lap up the ramen from the bowl. This shocked Cologne.
"What are you doing, son-in-law?" she asked. "Ranma-chan" looked
up from the bowl, a little bit of broth on her chin.
"Is good," she replied, smiling.
"You're not Ranma, are you?" "Ranma-chan" blinked.
"Who this...Ranma?" she asked, looking quizzically at the old
woman.
Cologne stood back a moment.
"Come," she said, walking to the kitchen. "Ranma-chan" stood up
and
followed her. Shampoo stood by the kitchen door, holding the kettle of hot
water in her hand. "Shampoo, close the door and hand me that."
Shampoo did as she was asked. Cologne stood on the counter,
looking
at "Ranma-chan". She only blinked, unsure of what was going on. Cologne
poured the hot water onto "Ranma-chan". When the steam cleared,
"Ranma-chan"
was no more. Instead, on the floor, was the cat that Mousse had saved
earlier that day. Shampoo's eyes went wide.
"AIYA!!!" she screamed, jumping back. "Shampoo saw that cat this
morning on delivery!"
Cologne nodded. "Mousse saved her this morning, thinking it was
you." Shampoo blushed, but could easily see why Mousse had thought so.
Aside from the lack of the decorative balls in her fur, she looked exactly
like Shampoo did in her cat-form. Cologne poured some cold water on the
cat and "Neko-chan" resumed her "Ranma-chan" form. Aside from her hair not
being in a pony-tail and being a shoulder-length, she looked identical to
Ranma.
"What we have here, is a cat that fell into the Spring of Drowned
Girl," Cologne said. "Oddly enough, she can speak. What is your name,
dear?"
"Ranma-chan" looked at Cologne as Shampoo put the Chinese-style
dress back on her. "Purrrr..." she replied. With a sour look, she thought
something and shook her head. She pointed to herself and replied properly,
"Perfume."
Cologne looked at her great-granddaughter, then to Perfume.
_Hmmm..._ she thought. _That may just work._ She smiled to herself.
"Shampoo, put her hair up. In a ponytail," she instructed.
Shampoo did as she was told. Cologne smiled. "Look at her." Shampoo
blinked.
"Aiya! She look like Ranma now!"
"Exactly."
"Nani?" Shampoo replied, looking at Cologne oddly. Perfume looked
at the two. She had no idea what they were talking about, but yet she
understood a little.
"Shampoo. I have a plan. Perfume will be an essential part to it.
It must be followed in detail, by you and by her. I will explain it once
to you and then to Perfume, until she understands it."
"And what is this plan, great-grandmother?"
"The plan is to get the groom's other two fiancee's so angry at
him,
that they will forsake him. Now listen carefully, this is how..."
End Chapter 3...
********************************************************
* Kent Magami and David Outram (kmagami@hsonline.net) *
* Second Deacon of Ryoga, Tracker of the Wandering One *
* Co-founder and High Priest of the Holy Order of A-ko *
* Motto: You can *never* have enough C-kos! *
********************************************************
* One month after B-ko hypnotized C-ko... *
* *
* C-ko: Hi, B-ko! What're we gonna do tonight? *
* B-ko: The same thing we do every night, C-ko-- *
* try to destroy A-ko! *
* C-ko: Waiwai!!!! *
* *
* o/~ One of them's an airhead; the other one's *
* insane! It's C-ko and the Brain! o/~ *
********************************************************