As a comment about all of this:
It's harder to play a different persona than you might think! (Especially
of the opposite sex...that was kinda what this Chris guy/girl was doing.)
I can do it, and undoubtedly others can as well, but it takes a good deal
of effort.
I have done it before, actually, under the name of <deleted>. (Can't say
who...might bring back my alter-ego for some kicks someday. :) It's a
great deal of fun at times; if you're bored, hop into the newsgroups under
a new handle, don't tell anyone it's you, and you get to goof around and
pretend you're a newbie! ;)
*sigh*
<sigh> is right. This is a twisted, disgusting, and just sort of generally
wierd letter. Belongs on the big screen. ;)
I suppose this had to come out sooner or later, but I have been
reluctant to post this to the list until now. For a while there has been no
word from Hitomi Ichinohei on the FF mailing list, for good reason. So,
people inquiring about Hitomi harken to my words, and be afraid, be very
afraid.
From all the evidence gathered--there IS no Hitomi Ichinohei.
Gee, that might explain why the letter I wrote to her received no response. :P
Shocked? Disappointed? So was I.
Startled, if nothing else. And maybe a little revolted...
Here, let me start at the beginning.
Sounds like the *perfect* place to start!
A while ago, when I discovered 'Hitomi' was located in Winnipeg,
Canada like me, I was quite happy to be so close to another fanfic writer. I
was impressed by her discriptions of her 'job' and workplace. Not being the
suspicious sort and having no reason to investigate I accepted her word.
Bert(SkyKnight) was also quite involved in e-mail with Hitomi and accepted
her at face value as well. After all, she wrote great stories: why should we
be suspicious?
'Hitomi' *did* write great stories, and even if she doesn't exist and only
is a reality in the mind of some weird transsexual, her stories still rule,
and that's the important thing...right? Right?
Okay, maybe not, but I think it counts for something. :P
In hindsight, perhaps a mistake.
Especially when she first suggested we(Bert, Hitomi, and I) try to
create a book(not a story) to sell for money. That attempt died rather
quickly as Bert and I lost interest in the idea. There was silence on that
topic until the author wars started and she claimed to have 'contacts' with
ani-mayhem to write a book that we could write. Again, it sounded plausible,
even though we(Bert and I) never got e-mail or a phone call from anyone but
Hitomi. However, that died too. (I wonder if our subconscious minds
suspected something here)
Okay, I assume that these phone calls you got from Hitomi were really this
Chris...um, well I suppose Chris would be physically a woman, so here on
out I'll refer to Chris as a 'she,' okay?
Until this point, I had never seen physical evidence of Hitomi.
Enter Chris Hill.
How to describe Chris... Well, though it was fairly obvious, and was
confirmed later, she was once male but had a sex-change operation.
(Considering everyone who met she/he at first thought 'man', including me, a
rather poor one.) Dressed somewhat poorly, she/he has a slight lisp and must
weigh somewhere around 180 pounds at 5' 7".
The Nyanniichuan effect. Shudder as you see it in reality.
Just out of curiousity (no I'm not weird - not like that, anyway - but I've
wondered about this on some occasions, like those times I see 'masculine
women' walking by in the malls and stuff...), how do sex-change operations
work? Pardon my ignorance, because I know it *is* possible, but it seems
kinda...impossible.
What do they do, pump the guy full of estrogen and suck out the
testosterone? Can transsexuals have babies? (YUCK ALERT)
Oh yeah, would someone do me a favor and answer one REALLY important
question for me?
Transsexuals are never actually PRETTY, are they? I don't know, but I
think it would freak me out if I had a crush on some hot babe and then I
found out it was some geek who had a sex change.
The outcome? Maybe Ranma 1/2 screws up your mind. Chris Hill obviously
watched Ranma get splashed too many times and thought it would be fun to
try it himself. After he found out that Jusenkyo didn't exist (or does it?
there was rumor on the Ranma ML that there was a place called Jusenkyo in
China), he then decided to... <gasp> <rest of story deleted>
Not that I cared as she/he claimed to be a good friend of Hitomi's.
I mean, hey, an actual person who KNEW Hitomi! To make a very long story
short here is a brief summary of what Chris told me. (And I'm quite
embarassed to say I bought into this... Hm, maybe just 'accepted it' and
didn't give it much thought is more accurate )
Hey, if I bought into it, I'd be embarrassed too! ;) Just kiddin.
Actually, this story you're telling now sounds kinda whacked, too.
My reactions below:
Chris was Oneeko's lesbian wife.
"So how's lesbian sex compare to normal sex between a man and a woman, Chris?"
Oneeko and Hitomi were super-geniuses and had gotten many degrees on
merit alone from the University of Manitoba.
"Heh...sounds real likely."
Dynanex was some big-time corporation in Japan and the two sisters
were major partners.
"Then how come I've never heard of it? Show me a catalogue or something,
BAKA!"
Chris had been in the Army(trust me, this should have been the first
clue)
"Hm...well, I suppose when you were a man, you were straight, so..."
The three lived in a penthouse in the downtown region.
"Cool. Did they get there from making lesbian sex skits?"
Oneeko died in some military exerise in Japan and Hitomi was not
given details about it. (Huh?????)
"But you said the three LIVED in the downtown region, BAKA!"
Oneeko left Chris her shares but Chris was still essentially broke.
"I thought it was a BIG company, BAKA!"
Chris and Hitomi came to a meeting that no one showed up for because
it was cancelled.
"Sounds really likely, BAKA!"
Hitomi was sent to Japan because of a stunt she pulled.
"Um...wow. Pretty neat. Incredible."
As you can tell, I like the word 'baka.' ;)
Etc, etc, etc... I'm guessing some readers(or most) will have had
warning lights flashing in their heads at these facts listed like this.
Trust me, Chris is a very smooth talker in person.
I would probably have thought that Chris was playing a joke on me. Though
if you list the events in *anyone's* life like this, they can appear pretty
damned odd. Even my own, which is why I'm not listing them here. :)
It was when Chris came to me with yet another money-making idea that
Hitomi 'helped' with that things began to come to a head. This was because
my friends got involved, and one of them had gotten burned with business
dealings before.
Ow.
The idea seemed sound, and I won't bother you with the details, but
there was one freaking large hole in it that someone like Hitomi should NOT
have missed. To me, that clinched things as it was totally out of character,
but the facts my friends and I found out cemented it rather firmly.
Just out of curiousity (lots of things seem to be like that, ne?), what was
the hole?
<various facts deleted>
Hm...sounds like you had quite a fun time figuring this all out. Making me
wish I lived in Canada here. :)
By the way, anyone on this list live in or near Atlanta?
The funny thing was, she openly invited us to investigate him/her.
Then she/he got ticked when we did. *snort*
Must've been that time of the month. ;) Say, do transsexuals have 'that
time of the month?'
During this time, Chris once tried to turn the distrust on her/him
on ME! This episode did Not. Make. Me. Happy.
Chris seems to be something of a baka.
In the end, my friend and I met Chris and discussed some of these
things, though I was resigned to the fact that Hitomi existed only in Chris'
mind. She/he was quite upset, and threated my friend(and myself I think)
with "you don't know the power of the Ichinohei and <name> families" in a
low growl. Ack! Boy, I was shaking. Not. Needless to say, that was the last
time I saw Chris Hill except once when I peeked into the U of M Mac lab.
(You can telnet to her ISP from there with no charge for dialup.)
I bet you were REAL sad about discontinuing deals with this girl.
(Remember what I said: Chris is physically a woman, so all the 'female'
words go with her. Him. Whatever.)
BTW, how's 'Ichinohei' pronounced?
YOURSELF. If I am wrong, (uh huh, right), then I will be very happy to
hear so.
You ever heard of spoofers? I had one that was impersonating me once,
though luckily for me, the idiot was just out for laughs and wasn't being
malicious in any way. (He'd pull stunts like showing up places with me,
making fun of me, and having people wonder why I was mocking myself. The
baka got over it, though, and we're friends now...)
Point is, Chris's 'imaginary friend' may not be a real person, but Hitomi
Ichinohei might exist, and is just absent currently for some reason. I'd
like to think this, anyway, because if 'Hitomi' shuts up for good, then so
do her stories, and they, unquestionably, kick ass! :)
Still, I am a little bitter about this, as are the people who
devulged personal stuff to 'Hitomi'. A handle is fine, but to not admit
it--is not a very nice thing to do. ESPECIALLY considering what happened a
year or so ago with the April Fool's Joke Hitomi Incident!! That makes me
smolder a little.
I think it's pretty good 'roleplaying in real life' for lack of a better
term. It's a bit malicious, though...
I once asked Grimreaper(another friend) what he thought I was like,
and one of those characteristics was 'innocent'. I was skeptical about that,
but Chris Hill certainly makes me think about the truth of that claim. I
certainly got royally suckered by someone who wrote good stories, but
perhaps lives in them as well.
And, I am sorry to say, so did a lot of others.
Well, why not: "What do you people think I'm like?" Heh heh...do your
worst. :)
Hunter Kid
http://www.serve.com/guilds/ranma/
guilds@mail.serve.com