On Fri, 29 Aug 1997 16:03:43 +0200, Ronny Hedin <thark@hem2.passagen.se>
wrote:

                        ------------------
                       | A TRAIL OF BLOOD |
                        ------------------

                        a Ranma 1/2 fanfic
                   by Tharkon (aka Ronny Hedin)
                        <tharkon@fan.net>
                            UIN 181261
        http://home1.swipnet.se/~w-10956/creative/fanfic/
 all C&C deeply appreciated, no matter how umimportant it may seem

OK, how about this: It's "unimportant". :-P

 Soun held the postcard up shakingly, and read aloud.

I'm not sure if "shakingly" is a word. How about: Soun was shaking as he
held the postcard up and read aloud.

 "Today's tuesday," Genma said and smiled. "It's a full week until
she comes. We'll have lot's of time to think of something."

lots of time. (What's wrong with the standard "Ranko and Mr. Panda"
routine?)

 The truck driver whistled along to the tune on the radio. This hot
day, his attention was only half-fixed on the road. He didn't notice
the middle-aged man crossing the road. Not before it was too late.

Lots of people will be sending him thank-you notes. :-P

                                ***

 The brakes screamed in vain as the front of the truck hit Genma.
All around, people turned to stare. It was as if the world had
temporarily stopped. The driver watched, paralizyed, as a few drops

paralyzed

of blood flew soundlessly from the badly deformed body.

 The effect was broken when it hit the ground a couple of yards
away, jerking a few times and then collapsing. A final thought passed
through Genma's head, and then he was enveloped by unconciousness.

unconsciousness

 "Yes, er, but, you see, it was late. In fact, it just arrived!" He
kept up his smiled - that wasn't even a lie!

his smile

 "Well, I'll wait here for a while. At least I'll get a chance to
see his fianc‚e."

fiancee

 The river of tears that once again starting flowing was all the
answer he needed.

Um, no, he'd have reacted like that either way. :p

 A few seconds of stillness passed before she could bring herself to
speak. "Oh, Ranma ... I'm so gald to see you ... I only wish it could

glad

have been under happier circumstances." She sobbed silently.

 "Ranma," Soun said to the boy. "Genma ... you're father ... he's

your father


Interesting concept. There's been lots of fics where a character has
died and the others have had to deal with it. But what do they do when
the one who died was one they didn't like all that much? That's a
question worth exploring, and this may be the first fic to do so. Genma
is a good choice for this, I doubt if anyone is as disliked. Please
continue!


Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, Home page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe
My fanfics and the FFML map are on my comics/manga page,
       http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics