On Fri, 29 Aug 1997 17:30:55 -0400, Emily Siazon
<emily9@bellatlantic.net> wrote:

    "So, who are you going to partner up with?" Ranma asked as he
looked up at the quickly darkening sky nerviously.

nervously

    Before she could make a decision, Shinnosuke suddenly stopped,
almost running into frustrated looking black piglet standing next to a

into a frustrated

    "Will you guys stop it?" Akane asked as she hugged it closer to
her. "I'd say it wasn't the pig who has a dirty mind."

Heh!

    "Quit it," Shinnosuke yelled as he led it to the bathroom,
careful not to put his hand anywhere near it's mouth. He walked up to

its mouth. (It's = it is)

stool and poured cold water over the animal before dunking it into the  

the stool, or a stool

    "W-who are you and what happened to the pig?!" he asked when he
found his voice a couple of minutes later.

You use 'a couple of... later' twice in succession here. Unless this is
deliberate repetition, you might want to rephrase one of these.

    The boy nervously scratched his head. "Er, I'm Ryoga Hibiki. The
piglet happens to be another form of mine."

He's being pretty open about this, though I guess he has no choice. (Of
course, he could just wait for Shin-chan to forget who he is, but he
doesn't know that.)

    "Oh, I couldn't. I've taken to much of your time already. I'll
see my way out."

    He walked away and smiled before closing the door behind him.

    "Uh, Ryoga? That's the closet," Akane helpfully informed him.

Heh. Saw that one coming! :)

    Ranma impatiently looked at wall clock as he waited for Akane to

the wall clock

come downstairs. He was sitting in her living room with Shinnosuke who
was asking him his name as he played a beautiful tune on the piano
that he didn't recognize.

Ordinarily I'd assume the last 'he' referred to Ranma, but in this
case... :)

    "Hey Akane, you look like hell," he commented as he stood up and 
headed towards the door.

He's as tactful as ever... :)

    "I see," he answered, turning around so that she would be unable
to see his dissapointment. Deep down he had known that she wasn't

disappointment

    He was about to try yet another step when he felt a foot bounce
of his back, making him lose his balance. His face met the ice again,

off his back, (how come he always falls face-first?)

    "That was low, Asuza!" Akane said as she glared at the younger

Azusa

    Mikado sighed as he let Akane down, smiling and posing at the
same time for the sake of his fans. "What a shame that we have been
interrupted yet again. But after me and my partner win the match, I
promise that you will be able to to kiss these lips of mine."

Take out one "to".

    "*sigh* This is so romantic. A girl jelous because her skating

jealous

    "Hey! That's not..."

Ha!

    #LET THE MATCH BEGIN!# the impatient anouncer exclaimed while

announcer

    #I DON'T BELIEVE IT. MIKAD0 SANZENIN HAD JUST TRIED HIS KISS
ATTACK ON A GIRL WHO'S NO LONGER COMPETING AGAINST HIM. TALK ABOUT
UNEXPECTED TURN OF EVENTS.#

AN UNEXPECTED TURN, or UNEXPECTED TURNS

    The two martial artist didn't look any better as they also

artists

slammed against a wall. Despite the pain, the two were grinning wildly  
as they listened to the announcer declare them the winner.

    #WITH ONE MOVE, THE SUBSTITUTE PAIR FROM FURINKAN MANAGED TO
KNOCK OUT MIKADO SANZENIN, MAKING THIS THE FIRST LOST OF THE GOLDEN
PAIR.#

What happened to Azusa?

    Shinnosuke, seated next to the still shocked Akane, shook his 
head in disbelief. "Unbelievable."

#FURINKAN'S PAIR WILL NOW GO ON TO FACE YAMAGUCHI IN THE FINALS!#

AUTHORS NOTES: Well, finally got this done in between reading SM fics,
especially the Haruka and Michiru stories. Sorry it took so long, but
I've been feeling lazy ^_^  

Just make sure the next one gets here more quickly! :-) (What? The next
chapter of *my* series, you ask? It's... uh... it's coming!:))


Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, Home page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe
My fanfics and the FFML map are on my comics/manga page,
       http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics