(ff)(r1/2)life's a *itch, and then some

this is a fic that I thought about.  I'm trying a new way to send these 
things so if the first one dosen't go through then I'll use the old way.
					john trombley

This is an old sick thought that went through my mind a couple months back. What caused it to resurface? Well I came across The Revenge fic stuff while going through the Internet, I mean it seemed to me for poor excuses for revenge. Well why not give someone a reason for it then? If you had read my Circus of the Damn fic then you know what kind of mind I have. Ha! That's not even the tip of the iceberg. Oh sure I tried comedy fics but got burned from the CC. It seems to me that people only like my more serious ones best, so I decided to try a different flavor but still the same. I still can not write lemons for some reason. I guess my mind isn't that graphic, weird since all my fics have been off the top of my head with no planning what so ever, it all depended on my mood. That's why I couldn't finish the Family Business, or continue on with Ranma Babies because I haven't seen anything to put me into those kinds of moods. So this fic will start out as any normal Ranma fic (Hey I know more about Ranma than any of other the anime tittles, it was also what dragged me into this strange new life style.) But will change as I go along. As far as I know there will only be one part, but you never know.

The Ranma universe is owned by a lot of different people and one lady in general, one Rumiko Takahashi, please forgive my slander of you work.

The Cat Cafe. Cologne is going over another attempt at get Son-in-Law and Shampoo to wed. Of the past year that she returned with Shampoo to win her arrant husband some things have stayed the same. One, Ranma is still indecisive over which of his fiancees to wed. Two, every one seems intent to prolong that stalemate as long as one of the other girls is not chosen. For a matriarch of the Amazon tribe a whole year to accomplish this looked badly on her. She knew that if this took too much longer she would loose credit with the council. She sighs, she was really too old to worry about such things. To live over three hundred years lets you put your priorities in order. Namely that her name live on long after she has left this world. That means for her line to continue, which also means that Shampoo as the last member of that line had better get hopping. Cologne didn't want Shampoo dying an old maid waiting on Ranma to come around and she wanted to see that the next generation was well looked after. As would any mother-type person, she also wanted her great-granddaughter to be happy.

It seems that any attempt to get Ranma and Shampoo together always backfired or something. It could be understood if Shampoo had many suitors since it didn't matter how many husbands one had. But for a male to have multiple wives? The old Japanese proverb entered through her thoughts. 'Never have two woman under the same roof' or some such nonsense that their always going off about. Shampoo has tried to drug Ranma so many times that everyone including him and Ryouga expect it every time Shampoo comes calling with food, considering how dense those two are that's saying a lot. It finally seemed that Son-in-Law was learning about the minds of the opposite sex. Well not complete opposite in his case. ***Warning Evil thought just occurred to writer Warning, Heh ,Heh*** In fact she has come to admire Ranma's will to win. There are not many like him in a life time, he was the best of the breeding stock and her Granddaughter deserved the best. Well if he couldn't be won with trickery or outright sexual advancements, then they would have to work on the thing that is most important to him, his honor.

Hmm, again unfortunately there are already two connections to his honor, namely Akane Tendo and Ukyou Kuonji. He was already promised to both of them, of course Cologne knew that wasn't the real reason for Son-in-Laws indecision. The main reason that all could agree with is that baka of a father he has. He very much neglected Ranma's education when it came to woman, added to the fact that Ranma was insecure about his own masculinity because of his curse, only doubled the trauma and hardships in making his choice. For he did not want to hurt any of the girls let alone all of them, even that fruitcake Kodachi. By themselves all four were prime bridal candidates, even Akane. Shampoo was strong, one of the best fighters of her generation, could cook, was very beautiful, as well as very affectionate. Ukyou was already running her own thriving business as well as attending school, also an excellent fighter, and great cook if only she would try her hand at something other than that infernal Okinomiyaki, as well as very beautiful and very affectionate. Kodachi, (well she wasn't a problem, Ranma was more afraid of her than liked her) was very wealthy, could cook (if you liked being poisoned), a moderately good fighter, as well as beautiful. Now Akane Tendo, well she was strong, and a good fighter (not in the same class as most of those around here but better than most), verrry emotional, and was very attractive in her own right. The main thing going for her was that she and Ranma both studied the same school of Martial Arts, lived together, had almost the same personality, and that their parents as well as many others have been trying to push them to together. (Its as if some strange force was behind it.) Together however, as a group it made it too close to tell which one would be picked.

It was now time to bring out the big guns. How to get Ranma to marry Shampoo over the other three prospects? Killing the rivals would only push Ranma away and in fact make him a deadly enemy. That also ruled out threatening him, it's been tried again and again. It just was that Ranma has gotten too powerful since she first came here, he was that good of a student, what with that lech Happosai and herself as instructors for him. Not that he wanted either, but he got them anyway. A guilt trip always has a nice affect on him. When he thought Akane was turned into a duck permanently, Soun Tendo almost got him to marry it. If Akane wasn't a little bit slower getting home, lets just say it would have been interesting. How would she get Ranma guilty enough to marry Shampoo? Cologne decided to go up to the roof and meditate on it.

Half the city away a lone figure sat on a roof top, a large almost three times his size bag sitting next to him. It was strange, usually after a raid like that he would be full a good cheer and energy, something was missing. It seemed that since he came back to Nerima that there was only one thing that would get his good cheer up and that was playing with his dear Ranma-chan. Oh the memories of the time spent between master and student all the bonding that they had accomplished. Suddenly the figure sits up straight, that's it, that's what he's been missing. The challenge and the feeling of being with his best student. The problem was that it has been getting harder and harder to spent time with her now a days, the remedy to that problem? Oh, it was simple he would just get new playmates. With that the figure picked up his precious bag and took off running laughing happily.

A few hours later Cologne went down to tell Shampoo that she would be away for a while and to mind the store. She also made sure Mousse stayed so that Shampoo would not be overwhelmed. That taken care of she left for Europe. Over her long life she had witnessed many things and corresponded with many individuals, that had the same interests as herself. Magic was not limited to Asia, neither was martial arts, or many of the other things associated to the region. For the world is a magical place, you just had to look for it in the right places to get what you wanted. What she wanted right now was a means to accomplish her ends, and the place she needed to look for was in Europe, more specifically Greece. There was a family of collectors there that had an object of power that she wanted. Of course she would not steal it, that was beneath her. Of course she would have to barter for it, but that was alright for she had plenty of things that would interest them.

So it was that the two of the most powerful martial artists is the world left upon their separate quests to find happiness in their lives. One for personal happiness and the other for the happiness that comes from knowing that your loved ones would be cared for after you were gone.

Again The Cat Cafe. It had took some bargaining as well as some good natured gossip, but Cologne had managed to get what she was after. It was now time to set the trap that would force Ranma to marry Shampoo and after they had moved back to the amazon village away from the others he could finally show his true love for her Great-granddaughter. After making sure that Mousse was occupied else were she called for Shampoo.

"Hiya! How we do that great-grandmother? Husband be very stubborn and very stupid about it." Shampoo replied respectfully, glints of light flashed in her eyes. She was very excited if it was a plan that took great-grandmother two months to prepare than it should be a good one.

"I have finally figured out how to get Son-in-law to come to you of his own free will. If you were to have a child by him, then he would realize the love that he has in his heart for you." Cologne told her, making it sound like the most beautiful and easiest thing in the world.

"But how Great-grandmother? Every time Shampoo try to get close to husband stupid Spatula-Girl and Violent-Girl always get in way."

"With this." and with that Cologne pulls out a large stone about the size of an large bird egg. Other than that except for the strange rune on it, the rock was unimpressive. "The Satyr Stone."

"The S-Satyr Stone?" Shampoo carefully spoke out the foreign words. "Shampoo never hear of Satyr Stone in village. Never heard of it any where. What it do?"

With a slight smile on her face Cologne proceeded to tell the tail of the Stone. "I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it, in fact if anyone knew about it at all, then I would be shocked. For you see Shampoo this stone comes from the West, and is a stone of great power." Shampoo's eyes widen at that using Western magic? Great-grandmother has never tried that before.

"Over three thousand years ago, on a island in the Mediterranean Sea there lived another group of Amazon woman. Unlike our own they did not allow males onto the island at all, instead of making them second-class citizens like in our village. Well to continue their line they lured ships to the island on the fullest of the three nights of the full moon. They would carefully maneuver the men to a clearing in the woods. It the middle of the clearing sat this stone, the Satyr Stone, it was a gift to them by their patron Goddess Artemis, to help them survive. Once the men saw the light that had reflected off the stone they no longer had any will of their own, only base lust. It was then that the chosen of the Amazon tribe would come forward and they too would be caught by the stone's magic. It is then that the two groups would get together to create the next generation. After the love making, all would fall into a deep sleep, worn out with the activities of the night. After the moon had gone down the rest of the Tribe would come upon the sleeping outsiders, bear them away to be placed on their ship, and cast them adrift to awaken to pleasant memories of a passionate night. No matter how many times they coupled all that the group needed was once. Once is all they needed, that was all that was required to impregnate those Amazons." With that understanding came upon Shampoo and a small smile of content appeared on her face as she shared a knowing glance with her Great-grandmother.

A week later at the Tendo Dojo. A letter was waiting for the house hold to awaken to make it's presence known. Of course being that Kasumi is always the first to awaken, she was the one who found it. It was labeled to be for Ranma Saotome. So she began preparing breakfast as she waited for him to awaken. The house hold awakened as it usually did, first with Kasumi, then Akane, who would go on her morning run. Ranma and his father would awaken next and begin their morning workout, followed by a refreshing dip in the Koi pond. It was usually by that time that Nabiki and her father would be up and breakfast would be about ready to be served. As usual Ranma-chan and Panda-papa would fight over each others food, as everyone else tried to ignore them.

"Oh, Ranma-chan, there was a letter waiting for you this morning." Kasumi stated brightly, for that was the only way she could state something. That caused everyone to stop what they were doing . Anything that was for Ranma always meant trouble for the rest of the house hold.

"Um, uh thanks Kasumi." Ranma mumbled as she took the letter. Kasumi smile in reply.

They letter read: [Saotome Ranma be at this place at this time, and come alone. If you are not alone someone that you care for deeply would be grievously hurt. Tell no one.] The rest of the letter gave a time and place for were the challenge was to be held.

"What? Oh uh it's nothing." with that she stuffed the letter in her pocket and then pored hot water over her head and took off. To the shock of everyone there, he hadn't even finished his breakfast. Which Genma quickly inhaled incase his son changed his mind.

"Well aren't you going to follow him?" she shot back in that Nabiki tone of wonder.

"How do you know that the letter wasn't for a secret rendevous with one of his other fiancees. For that matter someone entirely new." She asked with an arched eye-brow and a slight smirk.

"Why would I care who that Baka hangs out with?" Akane replied angerly. "For all I care he can go and run off with someone for all I care." And with that she stomped off. Everyone at the table noticed it was in the direction that Ranma took off on and looked knowingly at each other.

Their departure was not gone unnoticed. Three shadow figures went off in separate directions. It must be important indeed for those two to be in a rush.

It was near after sunset that night when Ranma appeared in the clearing. The moon had just started its assent over the horizon. In the clearing he sees a lone figure wearing a long cloak, and that's all the he could notice in the pale moonlight.

"Alright! Who are you and what's the deal about hurting someone I cared about." Ranma challenge the figure across the clearing.

The figure slowly approached him, he could tell he was a martial artist by the way he- no she walked over to him. That walk, the slow grace of movement was familiar to him in some way. Where had he seen that walk before? Then it struck him like a sledge hammer between the eyes. "S-Shampoo?" Just then the figure removed the cloak from covering her face and long purple hair cascaded down her back as the Chinese woman walk sultry over to him a look of hunger in her eyes. "Is not obvious? Shampoo wanted time alone with husband. Was only way to make sure husband came alone." Unfortunately for Shampoo a small hand spatula imbedded itself into the ground between them.

"Oh no you don't you hussy." From out of the tree line came Ukyou and Akane. Ukyou turns to Akane and says, "It's a good thing you came to me when you did sugar, there's no telling what this bimbo was trying to do to Rancan." With that cast a dirty glance at Shampoo.

A piecing laugh soon echos through the forest. "Ahahahahahahaha!" a feeling of dread comes over the whole party as black rose petals blow in the wind. "It seems that Sasuke was correct. You harlots trying to keep Ranma-sama all to your selves. You wretched, wretched girls."

"Hiya? What you three doing here?" She looked quickly up to the night sky the moon was just coming out from behind some clouds. Looking quickly to over to the rock in the center of the clearing. "Oh no!" Was all she got out before her eyes glazed over and a look of pure lust replaced her look of horror.

The other four glanced to what had caused the Amazon anguish. Their eyes too glazed over in a look of lust. This lust was in turn looked upon to the member of the opposite sex. The four girls who saw Ranma only saw a male, while Ranma only saw females when he looked upon the girls. All they saw were members of the opposite sex to couple with. The clothing on their flesh was confining and were quickly removed. The lust burning through their veins, as they came together.***author alert: as I said I don't do lemons so that's graphic as I get.***

It was many hours until the last of the woman had passed out from the love making. Usually the male would also have passed out from the exertion one the first try also, but this is Ranma we're talking about and his endurance level is much higher than even Olympic athletes. Just then a light rain fell from the sky, it was shot, but it was enough to create the change in Ranma. There Ranma-chan sat, looking at the large full moon when a figure came into the clearing.

"Curse Sasuke and his directions.... Ah my Pigtailed Goddess!" Was all Kuno could say before he too was taken over by the stone. This was distraction enough to get Ranma-chan's attention, all there were now was a male and a female, her need was great and he would be happy to comply to her. If they were both conscious of what they were doing Kuno would rejoice at his dreams coming true.

A figure came into the clearing after hearing the sounds of struggling, hoping to find someone who could tell him how to get to Nerima. It was fortunate that the light of the stone caught his eye before seeing the couple wrestling in passion. For if he had seen that first he surely would have passed out. Ryouga's mind went blank. All he saw was a female coupling with a male. They were soon finished as the male came away gasping for breath. The female was barely breathing hard when her eyes fell on that of another male. She motioned for him to come forward, he readily replied. So the other male that was Kuno watched as another male took the woman that he had just previously finished. No matter how much Ranma-chan's endurance was it was no where near that of Ryouga's and passed out as soon as the two finished.

Ryouga and Kuno just sat there looking up at the large full-moon, only glancing sparingly as a figure came running into the clearing noticing it was male returned their looks to the moon.

Mousse came running into the clearing yelling, "Shampoo! Where are you?" with that he ran over to the fallen figure of Akane and dropped down to her side. "Shampoo what has that dog Saotome down to you?" Even Mousse's near blindness could not save him from the power of the stone, seeing no awake females, he went and sat down next to Kuno and Ryouga to stare at the pale light of the moon.

Midnight: the trio still watched the full moon when a old voice shouts out loud and water is splashed onto the trio. A voice crows "found you, found you, now lets play!! Huh?" with that Happosai stared as the trio got up and started walking over to him. Not aggressively as he expected, but sultrily. The splash of water did not have the effect that he thought it would. Oh sure that water was what you thought it was, from Nyannichan or spring of drowned girl. Seeing on how two of those already had Jusenkyo curses only made it more interesting. A Chinese woman with bottle glasses and long flowing white-feathery hair down to her butt, with pure white wings coming out of her back, and a light coating of white down layered exotically over her body. A Japanese woman with sow ears sticking up through her dark black hair, her feet ending in dainty hooves a cute little pig's snout for a noise and not a hair on her body, looking at her rear was a cute little curled pigtail, the fangs only made her more exotic looking. The third girl looked a little like one of the ones already lying on the ground with the exception of being taller and shorter black hair. All the three saw was a male.

Happosai was too powerful for the stone to effect him completely, it did not cloud his mind with lust. Instead of clouding his mind with lust it did something that has not happened to the old man in almost all his three hundred years. He got hard. Something that he lost the ability to do by crossing one too many woman and gaining an ancient and powerful curse in the process. The stone's power destroyed the curse and three hundred years of pent up uh, pressure, was released. It didn't take long for Mousse and Kuno of pass out from the exertion each receiving his long denied seed. Ryouga how ever can go for a week with out sleep running full out, so was not as easy, so it was almost moon down before she passed out. Happosai just lay there on the earth with a huge smile on his face as the moon finally descended toward the horizon. His body was found the next morning a grin still plastered over his dead body.

The group of young females awoke at noon the next day, the nights events clear in their minds. Some off them broke down and cried after hearing what Shampoo told them about the stone. Mousse and Kuno beat the still body of Happosai until you could never tell who's body it ever was. Ryouga used her BAKUSAI TENKETSU technique to destroy the stone. It soon became apparent later on the day when the four girls tried to change back using hot water hoping to stay off their pregnancy. Another fact soon became apparent to them hot water wouldn't work to change them back.***thanks to Christopher Angle on that thought.*** It seems that while pregnant their curse is permanent until they gave birth to their children.

Dr. Tofu's clinic. It is very crowded as eight mothers came to term. It was a ruff year, what with trying to stop Ryouga and Kuno from killing themselves over their dishonor. It was also very bad for Mousse and Ryouga seeing how they were no longer completely human, the Japanese people are not the most forgiving people when it comes to appearances given their animal mixtures they did not sit well with the community. But over the months the people of Nerima accepted them, at least partially. No one could really demand that Ranma marry them over their dishonor but chose instead to live under the same roof for each loved her and they all became fast friends. All our Nerima group moved to the Kuno compound were they lived together until they were term. There may have been times when their bloods ran hot but all refrained from doing violence onto one and other due to the fact that the all held a life in side them. Sasuke was so hard pressed when they got cravings that he had to call in his whole clan to take care of the estate.

Back to the clinic. Dr. Tofu, Kasumi, Nodoka Saotome, Cologne, and a couple old woman were hard pressed when the group went into labor. For hours and miles around the screams of pain could be heard as each woman gave birth to a child. Afterward; the count going in was eight, while the count coming out was seventeen. Mousse, Shampoo, Ryouga, Kuno, and Akane all had girls. While Kodachi, Ukyou, and Ranma had boys. You may wonder if each had a child how the count came out to seventeen. Well you see Ranma was taken by both Kuno and Ryouga so it was that she had twins, not identical mind you but twins all the same. As for their children, well that's a tale I'll probably never tell.