In Mind and Body
------------------------

by Florencio B. de la Merced, Jr. (fmerced@pworld.net.ph)

A fanfic inspired by the Anime Ranma 1/2 created and copyrighted by Rumiko
Takahashi
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Prologue

[The dojo training hall exploded in a billow of splintered wood and saw
dust]

Ranma: Damn it! Ryoga! You didn't have to do that!

Ryoga: [breathing hard] Ranma! I'll get you for messing with me!

[Another hole erupted through a wall on the dojo]

Ranma: <I've got to stop him or he'll destroy everything.> KACHU TENSHIN
AMAGURIKEN!!!

Ryoga: Ranma! Aaahhh! [slumps on the floor after receiving a flurry of
punches]

Ranma: [breathing hard] Whew! [A mallet hits his head] Oww!

Akane: Ranma! How dare you destroy the dojo! [bops Ranma's head again]

Ranma: Oww! Akane! Oww! It wasn't me. Oww! Will you stop it!

Akane: [blinks] Ryouga?

Ranma: Hai! [gets bopped on the head again] Hey!

Akane: It's probably your fault anyway!

[Ranma and Akane continue to fight even during the repairing of the dojo]

[In the yard, standing over the pond]

Happousai: [pouring some sort of liquid on the pond] Now, this will have to
do. [throws away the bottle and pours a kettle of hot water] <Hot water
activates the potion.> [throws away the kettle] Now to get Cologne and then
Ranko. Sweeto!

[Inside the dojo]

Ranma: Will you stop that!

Akane: And exactly what do you want me to stop?

Ranma: [looks at his hand that's been receiving Akane's mallet strikes]...

Akane: If you just stop moving your hand, I'll be able to hammer that board
properly! [strikes away and smashes Ranma's hand again]

Ranma: Oww! Why do you let me have that hammer!

Akane: Oh, no! It's my hammer!

Ranma: Then, find someone else to hold the nail for you!

Akane: Ryoga hands are already sore! Now hold still!

[In another side of the room]

Ryoga: I wonder how Ranma can stand Akane?

Nabiki: Yeah, it's so pitiful to even look at them go at it sometimes.

Ryoga: I'm happy that I've gotten over her. Though I still love her.

Nabiki: Oh, by the way. How is Kounji-san?

Ryoga: [blinks] Damn it! That's right, I forgot all about our date tonight.
[finishes nailing a board]

Nabiki: You have a date?

Ryoga: Hai. [start towards the doorway] Please excuse me to the two of them.
[turns his back]

[At the other side of the room]

Ranma: Let me have that!

Akane: BAKA!

Ranma: Kawaiikune! [the mallet hits him and he is sent flying across The
room and towards the outside]

Akane: Ranma no BAKA!

[Ranma slams into Ryoga and both of them land on the pond outside]

Ranma: [scratches his head] Oww! That tomboy will get it! [rises to
confronts Akane]

Ryoga: [rises up] Damn it! Ranma! I'll get you for this later. Now I better
change clothes before I meet Ucchan. [walks off]

Ranma: [steps into the dojo] Akane!

Akane: [blinks] What is it Ryoga?

Nabiki: [blinks] I thought you had a date with Ucchan?

Ranma: [blinks][looks around] What are you talking about?

Akane: [Walks out of the dojo and looks for Ranma] Ranma? Come on out and
let's finish this.

Ranma: Hey, I'm over here.

Akane: [a bit irritated] Don't be foolish Ryoga. Now where did that BAKA go
to now?

Ranma: Akane! Are you blind? I'm over here.

Nabiki: Are you all right Hibiki-san?

Ranma: [blinks] Hibiki-san? Nabiki I'm not Ryoga, I'm Ranma.

Akane: Will you shut up Ryoga. If you don't hurry up you'll never get to the
Uutchan on time.

Ranma: What are you two talking about?

[Near the Uutchan]

Ukyou: [looks at her watch] Well, he's late again.

Ryoga: Ucchan!

Ukyou: [blinks] Huh? Ran-chan?

Ryoga: [hugs Ukyou] I was afraid you left already?

Ukyou: Eh, Ran-chan. What are you doing here?

Ryoga: [blinks] Ran-chan? Ucchan. It's me, Ryoga.

Ukyou: Ryoga? Ran-chan, what are you trying to pull here?

Ryoga: I'm not Ranma. Why do you keep calling me Ran-chan?

Ukyou: <Hmm...Ranma is up to something, but what?> Um, I know you probably
don't approve of me and Ryoga. But please leave us alone Ranma.

Ryoga: [a bit irritated] Ucchan, this is not funny anymore.

[Back at the Tendo dojo]

Akane: Ranma! Where the hell are you?

Ranma: What is wrong with you people? I said I'm over here!

Akane: Listen, Ryoga if you don't stop this...foolishness or I'll...[brings
out her mallet and hits Ranma]

Ranma: Oww! You'll pay for that kawaiikune tomboy!

Akane: [blinks] Ranma?

Ranma: [blinks] Yes! That's what I've been trying to tell you!

Nabiki: If that's you, Ranma. Then what the hell are you doing in Ryoga's
body?

Ranma: Ryoga's what? [runs inside the house to look in front of the mirror]

[A huge scream echoes throughout the dojo, and was quickly followed by a
very similar scream near the okonomiyaki shop]



End of Prologue
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Chapter 1
---------

[Ranma is standing in front of a full length mirror and is motionless]

Akane: Are you buying any of this, onee-chan?

Nabiki: [waves her hand in front of Ranma] I just don't know.

Ranma: What...[still looking straight at the mirror] What happened to me?
Why do I look like...Ryoga?

Akane: Ryoga...snap out of it already.

Ranma: [glares at Akane] Shut up! I'm Ranma! How many times do I have to
tell you!

Nabiki: Jeez, don't get angry with us Ryoga.

Ranma: Aarrggghhh! [gets angry and punches the mirror causing it to explode
in a million pieces]

Akane: [glares at Ranma] Hey! That's my mirror you just destroyed! [brings
out her mallet and was about to hit Ranma]

Ranma: [grabs the mallet of Akane's hand] You want proof! [grabs Akane with
one hand] I don't think Ryoga has ever done this...[passionately kisses
Akane]

Nabiki: [grins] Well, I have to admit...only Ranma could be so bold.

Akane: [enjoying the kiss]<Hmm...Ranma? Wait...> [relaxes a bit] <Oh,
defintely him>

Ranma: [smiles at Akane] Satisfied? [Akane only blushes]

Nabiki: [giggling] Is she ever.

Akane: Ran..Ranma, what happened to you? And, why do you have Ryoga's body?

[Just then the door swings open revealing Ryoga in Ranma's body, followed by
Ukyou and Kasumi]

Ryoga: Ranma! What have you done with me? [rushes in to strike]

Ukyou: What are you doing here Ryoga? We were supposed to have a date,
remember?

Ryoga: [glares back at Ukyou] Will you stop that. I'm Ryoga...and... [stares
at Ranma] and... [pauses] you're me? [blinks] What?

Ranma: [blinks upon seeing Ryoga in his body] You're...me, but, how?

Akane: [steps in between Ranma and Ryoga] Wait a sec... [points to Ranma]
You're Ranma...[Ranma only nods] but you look like Ryoga. [points to Ryoga]
And you're Ryoga...[Ryoga confirms] but you look like Ranma. What the hell
happened?

Kasumi: [smiling] It looks like they’ve exchange bodies.

[Everybody stares at Kasumi for a moment]

Kasumi: Did I say something wrong?

Nabiki: That makes sense. Somehow, Ranma and Ryoga must have switched
bodies.

Ranma: That's ridiculous.

Ryoga: Ryoga's right. No wait...I mean Ranma's right. <This is getting
confusing>

Akane: Well that explains why Ranma looks like Ryoga, and vice versa.

Ukyou: But, how? This is such a freak accident or something.

[Everybody pauses a bit to think]

Everyone: Happousai!

[In the Nekohanten]

Cologne: Get away from me Happy!

Happousai: But I made something special for you!

Cologne: I don't want anything from you...you hentai! [whacks Happousai with
her staff]

Happousai: [massages his head] Oww! I'll have you, whether you like
it...[brings out some fine powder] or not. [blows it towards Cologne]

[Cologne jumps away from the cloud of dust but lands in front of the doorway
leading into the kitchen. At that same moment, Shampoo came out of the
kitchen and knocks her great-grandmother straight into the mist]

Shampoo: What is commotion? [sees Happousai dragging her great-grandmother
outside the restaurant] Great-grandmother?

Mousse: [sees Shampoo leaving the Nekohaten]<Where is she going?>

Shampoo: [hops on her bicycle and follows her great-grandmother] Wait!

[At the Tendo dojo, Ryoga and Ranma storms into Happousai's room]

Ranma: Where the hell are you? Come out you freak!

Ryoga: Happousai! I'll kill you for doing this to me!

[The room is empty, so they storm down the stairs]

Ranma: Where could that pervert be?

Ryoga: No doubt he's up to some panty raid again.

Ukyou: Well, what did he say?

Ryoga: We don't know.

Akane: You don't know?

Ranma: He wasn't in his room.

Both girls: Oh.

[Just then the gates swing open and Happousai enters carrying the
unconscious Cologne]

Happousai: Tadaima! Now, where is Ranko?

Nabiki: There he is?

Ranma: [grabs Happousai] Spill it, old ghoul! What did you do to me?

Happousai: [slaps Ranma to get himself free] Ryoga! What are you talking
about? [sees Ryoga] Ah, my Ranko. [drags Ryoga towards the yard]

Ryoga: Hey! What the...[cold water is poured on him by Happousai]
hell...[blinks] What's this...[checks his body] <Yikes, I'm a girl!>

Ranma: [blinks] Ryoga turned into a girl.

Akane: Of course he turned into a girl, he is in your body!

Ranma: <In my body? Then that means...I'll turn into a pig if I get drenched
in cold water.> [grimacing] <This is not good>

Nabiki: What's wrong, Ranma? Don't you enjoy having a body that doesn't have
a curse?

Ranma: Yeah, right. It's not mine, Nabiki.

Ukyou: Hey guys. What is that troll doing with Ran-chan? Wait...I mean with
Ryoga?

Kasumi: [smiles again] It looks like they're going to take a bath.

[On the yard Happousai drags Ryoga and Cologne towards the pond]

Happousai: I'll first have to wake Cologne. [pulls out some smelling salts
and tries to wake Cologne] Now...I'll just...[throws Cologne and Ryoga into
the pond] throw them in. <The pond should be cold by now. Perfect>

Ryoga: [rises up and glares at Happousai] Why you freak! I'll get you
for...[Happousai jumpes up to Ryoga's new breast] What?

Happousai: [drooling] Oh, my love. I've finally fulfilled my dream. [gets a
whack from behind which forces him down towards the ground] Oww!

Cologne: [whacks Happousai till he was almost unconscious] You Hentai! I've
never been so insulted in all of my life!

Happousai: What? Oww! Cologne? Why are you still in you're old and wrinkled
body? Oww!

Cologne: Who are you calling...old? [hits him again and again]

Happousai: Oww! What happened to my potion? It was suppose to put you in my
Ranko's body. Arrggh! [gets a punch from Ryoga]

Ryoga: So it was you who did this to me! You'll pay! [is kicked out of the
dojo by Ryoga]

Cologne: Thank you, son-in-law.

Ryoga: [still in rage] I'm not you're son-in-law! [tries to punch Cologgne]

Cologne: [bops Ryoga on the head] What are you talking about son-in-law?

Ryoga: I said...BAKUSAI TENKETSU! [The earth beneath the two explodes]

Cologne: [jumping out of the way] How did you learn that son-in-law? I only
taught that technique to Ryoga Hibiki.

Ranma: That's because he is Ryoga Hibiki.

Ryoga: Thank you!

Ranma: Don't mention it, Ranko. [grins]

Ryoga: [blinks] What? <Damn it. That's right. I'm a girl!>

Cologne: Then [pointing at Ranma] you are...son-in-law?

Ranma: That's right.

Akane: Ranma!!! [brings out her mallet]

Ranma: Huh? Wait...I didn't mean it that way. Akane, wait!

Ukyou: [helps Ryoga out of the small crater he just created][grins] Not
bad...for a girl. [giggles]

Ryoga: That's not funny!

Ukyou: Oh, lighten up! Just think...you'll never turn into...[makes sure
Akane was not listening] a pig. [smiles]

Ryoga: [blinks] Hey that's right.

Kasumi: Come inside, dinner is ready!

Nabiki: <There must be a way I could profit from all of this>

[Everybody enters the dojo, except Ranma and Akane who are still fighting]

Ranma: Akane, wait! Oww! [a mallet hits his head]

Akane: Son-in-law! Son-in-law! Why don't you marry Shampoo this instant!
BAKA!

Ranma: Don't be stupid, I don't want to marry that amazon bimbo.

Shampoo: [jumping with her bike up the fence] Who are you calling bimbo?

Akane: Whom are you calling stupid?

Ranma: [Walks inside] Ahh! Nevermind!

Akane: [following Ranma] BAKA!

Shampoo: [follows suit] Che!


End of Chapter 1
----------------

CC  welcome
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Thanks to

Hunter Kid
Ronny Hedin
Jeff Shelton
&
Rumiko Takahashi