Subject: Re: Chaos [fanfic]
From: "Andrew M. Petalik" <wolf@sbm.org>
Date: 8/29/1997, 5:25 PM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

Resent-Date: Fri, 29 Aug 1997 16:08:01 -0400
From: SensuiShin@aol.com
Date: Fri, 29 Aug 1997 17:00:31 -0400 (EDT)
To: fanfic@fanfic.com
Subject: Re: Chaos [fanfic]
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X-Mailing-List: <fanfic@fanfic.com> archive/latest/42858
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Sorry for the trouble. I'm typing a txt version now. I type kind slow though
so it probably won't be done till mon or tue. Again, sorry.
Here... I converted it to text for you:

**********************************************************************
Author's Begining Notes: Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh ! What was I 
thinking when I wrote this?! This fanfic serves no purpose whatsoever 
and is just plain stupid !!!!!!  This fanfic has characters from every 
entertainment medium possible ( but mostly from anime) so don't be 
surprised by anyone who pops up. This fanfic is riddled with bad 
jokes, so if you have a sense of humor, this fanfic isn't for you. 
Almost all the characters in this fic are out of their usual context, 
so please don't be offended if you see something impossible like a 
Ranma character kicking a Dragonball Z character's ass!!  You have 
been warned. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK !!!!!!!!!
Last Updated: 8/29/97
WARNING: This fic contains subliminal messages that will make you rape 
cats. Don't read between the lines !
**********************************************************************



CHAOS, THE GRAND DADDY OF ALL FANFICS


Part One: It Begins ! (This Is Your Last Chance To Bail Out !!) 


 As the scene opens, we see Kuwabara facing off against Toguro Ani.


Kuwabara: This is the end Ani ! Rei-ken !! [ Kuw charges at Ani with 
his Rei-ken extended in front of him]

Ani: You stupid rectal oriface ! Eat this !! [ Ani's hand becomes a 
very sharp spike as he rapidly extends his arm and impales the now 
dead Kuwabara.]

Kuwabara: Gurgle.... urk..... [ As Kuw's dead carcass falls to the 
floor, the ground beneath him explodes in a cloud of rubble as razor 
sharp spikes protrude from the ground, skewering the lifeless body. 
Ani laughs as he retracks the spikes back through the ground. ]

Ani: Hmph, that was easy !

Kuwabara: Cut ! Cut! [ Gets up and wipes the fake blood off his 
clothes. ] What the hell's going on here ?! I'm supposed to win ! Let 
me see that script. [ Looks over the script ] Who the hell wrote this 
Maurice ? Where's the writer ?!!!?

Maurice: Don't ask questions Kuw-baby. I'm the  director and I say 
we're gonna follow the script whether you like it or not !!!!! 

Ani: Damn right !!! [camera man laughs in the background.] What the 
hell's so funny ?! I'll shiskabob your camera toting ass !! [camera 
man acks as dozens of spikes destroy him along with the camera]

Maurice: G...god damn you ! W..what the hell did ya do that for ? That 
camera's coming out of you pay check !!! Somebody get rid of camera 
man's carcass !!!

Ani: Grumble, grumble. Sulk, sulk.

Kuwabara: Where's the writer ?!! I want to discuss this script !!

Maurice: Ok, ok, he's in his trailer out back. Everybody take five. 
Kuwabara, Ani, you two come with me. And bring that damned script ! 
[under his breath] Goddamn, tempermental actors ! Always complainin'  
Why I oughta ..... [the three of them exit to go to the writer's 
trailer]

Ani: [whispers to Kuwabara] If they change the script because of your 
whining, they'll never find your remains.

Kuwabara: [whispers back] Oh pplleeaassee don't hurt me ! I don't 
wanna die yet ! I'm still a virgin ! [Ani barely stifles a chuckle] 
It's not funny ! I need nookie !!!!

Maurice: You're pathetic Kuwabara, Not to mention you whisper as loud 
as you talk ! Anyway, we're here...... [his eyes get wide as he looks 
at the trailer. It is rocking back and forth with biziarre noises 
coming from inside]

Female voice: [from inside the trailer] It's too big and it looks hard 
as a rock. It'll hurt !!!

Male voice: [from inside the trailer] But it will feel good if you sit 
on it. just calm down and do it.

Female voice: Ok...... [a momment of silence, the male grunts] Mmmm, 
it does feel nice J-chan. I could stay like this forever. 
Mmmmmm........ [Ani, Kuwabara, and Maurice all get 3 sweat drops each]

Male voice: [in pain] It's.... too tight....... can't stand it anymore 
! G....get up dammit !!!

Female voice: [angry] Don't yell at me !! [SMACK] I'm leaving ! [a 
voluptuous woman storms out of the trailer door and starts to walk 
away]

Joel: [comes running to the door with a big hand print on his face] 
Lisa, come back !!!

Lisa: [turns around] No ! Find someone else to help you test your new 
recliner !!!! [Lisa runs off. Ani, Kuw, and Maurice all fall over as 
they realize what was really going on in the den of iniquity better 
known as the writer's trailer]

Joel: [looking at the twitching bodies before him] What the hell's 
wrong with you guys. Hey, do you guys want to help try out my new 
Reclino-master 3000 reclinig chair, with optional heating pad, 
vibrating pillow, and sterofonic headphones? The make-up girl, Lisa 
was helping me out but we both tried to sit on it at the same time, 
and it isn't big enough for two people. 

Maurice: [getting up] No thanks. Uhhh, oh yeah! These two clods are 
arguing over the script again! 

Kuwabara: Yeah! I'm supposed to win! [acks and hides behind Joel as 
Ani advances on him trying to impale him on a large sword blade] Don't 
hurt me! I'm to much of a virgin to die! 

Joel: [smacks Kuw. in the head]  Shut-up! the script stays as it is! 
[Ani laughs triumphantly]

Ani: Too bad virgin-boy, you lose!

Kuwabara: Don't make fun of my virginity! 

Ani & Maurice: HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa!

Joel: Enough! Get back to the set and start filming! I'll be there in 
a second. 

[10 minutes later]

Kuwabara: This is the end Ani ...........[the scene proceeds exactly 
the same way it did last time]

Maurice: Hey Joel, I gotta get ready for my scene so ...[he looks to 
the writer's chair and finds Joel sitting there with Miz Mistal on his 
lap. The two of them are necking and groping each other. Maurice gets 
a sweat drop as he notices Fujisawa in the background boozin' it up 
with a bottle of Night Train .]

 Fujisawa: [hic] Goddamn writer  [hic].. stole my woman! [hic] but 
you'll never [hic] leave me will you baby? [Fujisawa caresses the 
bottle of Nightrain and takes another swig] I [hic] need a smoke... 

Maurice: < I gotta find myself a new line of work, or at least some 
new co-workers> [Maurice goes off to get ready. The last thing we see 
before the scene fades to black is Joel and Miz making mad, passionate 
love and Fujisawa guzzling his Night Train ^_^] 

End Part One.


Part Two: Pimps and hippies and Ufo�s, oh my !

    As the scene opens, we see a dark skinned warrior walking towards 
the east. He is wearing some black jeans with a black tanktop and 
black shoes. The warroir also has the kanji character for death 
tattooed on his forehead. Togoru Ani is traveling with him.

Sekken: Ani ! Are you sure you know where we're going ?!!!!!

Ani: No, not anymore !! My map was ruined in the fight with Kuwabara. 
The bastard had the nerve to bleed on it. The ink ran ! It's a total 
mess !!!

Sekken: But how will we find the place where they're keeping my 
beloved ?

Ani: Don't worry Sekken, we'll get her back. But shouldn't you be more 
worried about that psycho girl who's chasing you around ? What's her 
name again ? Tsunami ! That's it !

Sekken: Don't mention that name. That woman's a nut ! Then again you 
can't really call her a woman. She's only 9 yrs old .

Ani: [stops dead in his tracks] Start explainin' !!!!

Sekken: I'll try, but I'm not sure of the whole story myself. You see, 
this girl named Sasami took a fall and split her wig. This magician-
tree or something like that bonded with the girl's carcass. The 
magician tree's name was Tsunami. Now, when Sasami grows up, she'll 
look like Tsunami did before she became a tree. Something happened 
that made Sasami age really quickly so now she looks like a twenty 
year old and calls herself Tsunami.

Ani: That still dosen't explain why she's after you !

Sekken: We met in a bar, leave it at that. Now let's get movin' !!  

    As the two companions move on, a shadowy figure follows at a safe 
distance. But she ducks behind a bush as .............

Sekken: Look Ani, here comes somebody. Maybe we can ask directions.
[Sekken and Ani step to the side of the road as a tacky lavender 
Cadillac with a leapord skin top pulls up beside them.]

Ani: What the hell is that thing ?! [Sekken shrugs]

    The back window of the Cadillac rolls down and an obnoxious 
character dressed in the attire of a 1970's pimp sticks his head out 
the window. 

Pimp-Daddy J-chan: You guys need a lift ? [various female voices can 
be heard from inside the Cadi] Quiet girls !! Like I said, you guys 
need a lift ?

Ani: [rapidly becoming disgusted by Pimp-Daddy's appearance] Not in 
that monstrousity ! Do you know where the Shrine of Otemba is ?

Pimp-Daddy J-chan: Can't say that I do. But one of my girls might 
know. Hold on.

    To Ani's disgust and Sekken's suprise the Cadi's leapord skin top 
folds back. Yes, it's the worlds only convertable Cadi. [Ani begins to 
vomit] Inside we see Miz and Shayla-Shayla dressed like 1960's 
hippe's, complete with face-paint no less. 

Moonchild-Miz: Shrine of Otemba ???? Hmmm, sounds familiar, but I 
can't remember cause I just dropped acid. Somebody kill that chicken 
!! I want extra crispy for din-din tonite !

Sunflower-Shayla: Love, peace and gratuitous sex man ! Hey, give me 
back my bong !!!!! [Sekken gets a sweat drop as Ani continues to 
vomit.]

Pimp-Daddy J-chan: Hey man, watch where you're puking ! Don't get that 
$#!t on my ride. Anyway, the girls are too high to be of any help, but 
they're in the right frame of mind for a little gratuitous sex !!!

Moonchild-Miz: Get the chicken !!

Sunflower-Shayla: ...............................

Pimp-Daddy J-chan: Whaddyasay ? [Ani answers his question by impaling 
the car on dozens of spikes. Pimp-Daddy and the girls jump to safety, 
but the Cadi blows up] My ride !!! There was a thousand pounds of 
China White in the trunk !!! You sonovabitch !!!!

Ani: What are you gonna do about it ?

Pimp-Daddy J-chan: [takes off his wide brim pimp hat and his leapord 
skin cloak] I'm gonna kick the $#!t outta your stupid @$$ !!! Girls, 
assume the position ! [Moonchild and Sunflower both kneel in front of 
Pimp-Daddy and begin to unzip his pants. Both Ani and Sekken fall 
over] Not that one !!!! The fighting position !!!!

Moonchild-Miz: Oh, that position. After we kick their asses, can we 
kill the chicken ? [As she talks, the ring on her finger begins to 
glow. The headband that Sunflower is wearing begins to glow too. Both 
girls take up positions next to Pimp-Daddy; Moonchild on the right, 
Sunflower on the left.]

Ani: So you wanna rumble do ya ? Fine ! Take this !!!! [Ani yells as 
his arm rapidly extends toward Pimp-Daddy. Pimp-Daddy backflips away ( 
while wearing platform shoes no less) and lashes out with his Pimp-
cane. Ani's hand is severed.]

Pimp-Daddy J-chan: My cane has a sword inside you @$$hole !!! [As 
Pimp-Daddy talks he pulls the sword from his cane. The blade of the 
sword glows blue with ki-energy] My Pimp-sword can cut through 
anything. Still wanna fight ?

Ani: Sure do. Cause your pimp-sword don�t mean shit to someone who can 
heal any wound ! [As he taunts Pimp-Daddy, the veins from Ani�s arm 
and the veins from his severed hand reach out to each other and 
connect. A momment later, Ani�s wound is healed. Still wanna rumble?

Pimp-Daddy J-chan: I ain�t scared of you ! Get him girls !! [Sunflower 
screams with rage as a fireball shoots from the headband she is 
wearing]

Ani: Whoa ! [dodges a blast of pressurized water that Moonchild shot 
at him] I had no idea that pimps and drug addicts could be so strong ! 
Sekken , some help would be nice !!!

Sekken: [glowing blue with ki] .........

Ani: I don�t believe this [ dodges a sword swipe and a fireball] I�m 
getting my ass kicked and he�s spacing out !!!! [ Ani dodges another 
sword swipe as his right arm becomes a very long sword blade] Alright, 
you wanna sword fight, we�ll sword fight !!! But call off your drug 
addict bimboes !!!

Pimp-Daddy J-chan: Girls, hold your fire. I�m gonna kill this @$$hole 
myself !

    Just as Pimp-Daddy and Ani are about to throttle each other, a UFO 
swoops down, teleports Pimp-Daddy and the girls aboard, and flies off 
leaving Ani and Sekken staring at the sky.

Ani + Sekken: ............

Shampoo: [standing in as director] Cut ! Stop ! Halt !
 
Joel: [dressed as Pimp-Daddy and exiting fake saucer] What !? Why�d 
you stop !? Everything was going perfect.

Shampoo: Perfect !?! Shampoo no understand. What going on ?! Script no 
make sense ! This movie is all crazy !! Pimps !? Hippies !? Wandering 
warriors !? Alien abductions !? Shampoo quit !! Find someone else to 
stand in for stupid movie !!!

Joel/Pimp-Daddy: Shampoo wait !!! What if I told you that you get 
married to Ranma in the movie ! Would you stay then ?

Shampoo: Shampoo really get married to Ranma in movie ? Tell truth 
now. 

Joel: OK, I lied. You do..... [can�t continue sentense because a 
bonbori is rammed down his throat] Swamhpuu waif ah minit. Efrybody 
take fife ! [pulls bonbori out of his mouth] Shampoo wait!

Shampoo: Shampoo no want work for pervert  that write stupid movies 
and dress like pimp. Can�t change Shampoo�s mind, no matter what you 
say.

Joel: Oh yeah ?! If you don�t work for me I�ll call Mousse !!

Shampoo: [now groveling at Joel�s feet] No ! Anything but that ! No 
call Mousse ! Shampoo work for you ! No need to call ex-husband ! 
Shampoo be good girl from now on !! Please, no call Mousse !!!

Joel: Ok, ok. I won�t call him. But tell me one thing Shampoo. Why did 
you and Mousse break up anyway ?

Shampoo: Mousse too .......... �energetic�. Shampoo no like abortions 
! Big needle is no fun ! No call Mousse ! [Shampoo goes running off  
into the sunset all the while screaming in fright] Shampoo hate 
abortion !!!!!!


Joel: Great ! Now we need another stand-in director. Let�s see..... 
Yuusuke you�re up !!

Yuusuke: Cool. This should be fun.

Joel: Don�t turn this into a fight fest. Just follow the script. Oh, 
and cue Akane. Her big scene is coming up.
Stage Manager: Uh...... That could be a problem. Her and Ayeka went 
into her dressing room an hour ago and we haven�t heard from them 
since.

Joel: ...............

Yuusuke: Don�t worry, I�ll have them ready on time.

Joel: ................

Yuusuke: Joel ? Are you ok ?

Joel: ................

    Two hours later, the movie finally gets back under way.

Ani: What the hell just happened here Sekken ?

Sekken: Beats the hell outta me. But we won though.

Ani: No thanks to you. Why�d you just stand there like that ?

Sekken: My martial arts skills are very limited. I know some basic 
kung-fu and kendo, but that�s it. The one special technique I do know 
 takes fifteen mins. to charge up. But it's a really powerful 
technique!!

Ani: <How do I always wind up in these situations?> Anyway, let�s get 
going. We still have to find the Shrine of Otemba.

Sekken: Sounds good to me, But where do we go from here ? [Ani shrugs]

    The two companions decide to head west. They keep walking until 
they come upon a circle of chattering people. In the middle of the 
circle are three people. The first is a large mountain of muscle. He 
is wearing boxing shorts and boxing gloves. There are scars all over 
his body. An attractive brown skin woman with blonde hair and fangs is 
cuddled next to him. She is wearing a skin tight leather body suit and 
wielding a large bullwhip. Lastly there is a fat guy with a Don King 
style haircut. He is dressed in a tacky paisely suit.

Fight Dr. Paisely: Isn�t anyone brave enough to fight my champ ? 
There�s ten thousand yen in it for you if you win. If you 
lose...............

Muhamed-Evander-Ali-Joel-Tyson: Yeah ! Ain�t none of ya brave enough 
ta fight me ?! [people continue to converse, but no one steps forward. 
Suddenly, a young boy with spikey black hair flips into the circle. He 
is wearing a dark blue boy�s school uniform. The top of the uniform is 
unbuttoned to reveal a tank top underneath.]

Boy: I�ll fight you. [the girls in the crowd start to chatter. ]

Girl #1: He�s soooo cute !

Girl #�s 2-5: .............. [They all pass out blushing]

Muhamed-Evander-Ali-Joel-Tyson: Ha ! Ya got guts kid. I�m gonna send 
ya home in a toothpaste tube !!!!

S+M Mihoshi: Joel-Tyson-Chan, if you beat him I�ll give you a spanking 
! [she cracks her whip]

Joel-Tyson: Do you promise to spank me hard ? [S+M Mihoshi nods and 
cracks her whip again. Ali-Joel-Tyson begins to drool] Yosh ! Let�s 
get this over with so I can get my spanking !! Eat this..... Blazing 
Fireball Punch !!! [Joel-Tyson swings as his gloves glow red with ki-
energy. The boy sidesteps the swing and Joel-Tyson�s punch hits the 
ground, causing a large explosion of ki-flames]

Boy: ...........[stands there with a cocky look on his face]

Girl# 6: He�s so sexy !!

Fight Dr. Paisely: Hurry up and kick the kid�s ass !!!

Sekken: This ought to be a good fight. Let�s see what happens before 
we go.

Ani: That kid dosen�t stand a chance.

Joel-Tyson: Stand still ya little shit ! [Joel-Tyson throws a barrage 
of punches that the boy just dodges] Eat this..... Burning Nuclear 
Explosion Uppercutt ! [Joel-Tyson swings again, but the boy ducks 
under his punch and kicks him in the chest. Girls #�s 7-20 cheer]

S+M Mihoshi: Joel-Tyson -Chan ! You�d better pound him or I won�t 
spank you !

Joel-Tyson: Yaaah...... Inferno Whirlwind Punch ! [Joel-Tyson punches 
the ground and a whirlwind of fire speeds from his glove toward the 
boy. The boy flips to the side and shakes his head.]

Boy: Is that the best you�ve got ? That was pathetic !! [Joel-Tyson 
yells with rage and charges at the boy. The boy sidesteps as Joel-
Tyson swings and, using leverage, grabs Joel-Tyson by the arm and 
flips him.]

Joel-Tyson: [getting up] That does it ! I want my spanking ! Eat this, 
my ultimate technique, Super Blazing Inferno Sweltering Death Heat 
Punch, with Optional Suntan Lotion !!!! [Joel-Tyson swings at the boy 
as his whole body becomes surrounded by ki-flames. Just as the punch 
is about to connect, a UFO swoops down, teleports Muhamed-Evander-Ali-
Joel-Tyson, Fight DR. Paisely, and S+M Mihoshi aboard, and then flies 
away. The boy is left standing in the middle of the circle, while 
Sekken and Ani fall over]

    [ insert eerie X-files theme music here]

Sekken: [getting up] That�s the second abduction today ! This is 
getting crazy !! And where is that music coming from !?

    [end X-files music here, as we see a  little man dressed in black 
beat a hasty retreat]  

Ani: You said it ! It just dosen�t get much weirder than this ! And 
who was that strange guy in black ? [Sekken shrugs. At that momment  
Sasami/ Tsunami dashes from behind a tree, bowls Ani over, and glomps 
onto Sekken]

Sasmi/Tsunami: Oh Sekkensama, how could you leave me behind like that 
? You know how much I love you. [Sasami/Tsunami tightens her glomp, 
effectively cutting off Sekken's air supply]

Sekken: Tsunami.......... *gasp*.......... let go........ *cough, 
wheeze, sputter*........ I can�t .......... *urk*...........

Ani: [looking down at the unconscious Sekken] Looks like he passed 
out.

Sasami/Tsunami: [continuing to glomp] Oh Sekkensama, I love..... 
[notices the boy that Joel-Tyson was fighting] .....you. Who is that ? 
[gets heart shaped eyes and stops glomping Sekken]
Boy: Who, me ? My name�s Ryo.

Sasami/Tsunami: You�re pretty cute. [starts moving towards Ryo] I 
think I�m falling in love all over again.

Ryo: Join the crowd. You�re not the only girl that�s in love with me. 
[Ryo gestures to the crowd of girls behind him. When he gestures, half 
of them swoon and pass out.]

Ani: You�re pretty smooth with the girls aren�t you kid ? 

Ryo: What can I say.......

Girl# 21: I love you Ryo !!!!!

Ryo: I know baby. Just calm down. [Girl# 21 does so immediatly. Ani 
shakes his head and chuckles]

Sekken: [gasping for air] Thanks Ryo........, but now Tsunami......... 
will be after........ you.

Ryo: I�m used to it by now. For some reason, all women seem to fall in 
love with me.

Ani: That�s cool kid, real cool. Oh, you wouldn�t happen to know the 
way to The Shrine Of Otemba would you ?

Ryo: Me, no. But one of them might. [turns to the crowd of girls] 
Okay, here�s the deal ! If one of you can tell me how to get to The 
Shrine Of Otemba, I�ll give you a kiss. [all of their hands immediatly 
shoot up]

Girl# 5: Pick me Ryo !

Girl# 12: No, pick me !!

Girl# 16: No ! I know ! Here let me tell you.

[Ryo begins to look around and finally picks Girl# 18]

Girl# 19: [pouting] Oh ! She�s so lucky !

Girl# 1: No fair !

Girl# 18: The Shrine Of Otemba is located in Nerima. Nerima is toward 
the south.

Ryo: Thanks. How did you know where it was ?

Girl# 18: I just read that sign over there. [Girl# 18 points as Ani 
and Sekken fall over]

Ryo: Well, here�s my part of the bargin. [Ryo takes Girl# 18 by the 
shoulders and plants one on her cheek]

Girl# 18: Meeeeeellooow meeeeeellooow ! [Girl# 18 goes back to join 
the crowd of girls, all of whom give her a dirty look]

Sekken: Thanks for the help kid.

Ryo: No problem. Hey, you guys mind if I tag along ? Today�s been 
kinda slow. Only 21 girls have told me that they love me. Usually, by 
this time of day, 40 girls have told me they love me, and 60 more are 
just following me around with starry-eyed looks on thier faces.

Sekken: [getting sweat drop] I don�t know. We�ll be getting into a few 
scraps before the day is out. Can you fight ?

Ryo: Sure I can fight. I�m a blackbelt in judo. And if I get in over 
my head, the girls here can handle the rest. Right girls ?

Girls #�s 1-21+ Tsunami: Right ! [Ani and Sekken look over and see the 
crowd of girls armed with knives, swords, machine guns, bazookas, 
anti-aircraft missles, phasers, and photon torpedoes. Ani and Sekken 
get sweat drops as the screen fades to black]

Yuusuke: Annnd cut ! Great job everybody ! That scene was great !

Joel: [asuming the role of  director for a moment] Ok everybody, 
that�s it for now; we�ll pick up again after lunch ! [Joel exits the 
set and heads toward his trailer out back. As he enters we see Catilin 
Fairchild, from the hit wildstrom comic �Gen-13', sitting entirely 
nude on his couch.] Ah, Fairchild. Just what the doctor ordered ! [As 
Joel and Fairchild begin their hanky-panky, the scene switches outside 
where we see Maurice leading an attractive young lady toward the 
trailer. The girl has short-cut, brown hair and stunning blue eyes. 
She is wearing a white tank-top and baggy blue jeans.]

Maurice: It�s right this way Cierra. I�m sure Joel will be glad to see 
you.

Cierra: And why wouldn�t he be glad to see his girlfriend ?

Maurice: < Uh-oh !> Ummm, it was just a figure of speech ! It�s not 
like he�s up to anything. Heh-heh. [ Maurice begins to sweat visibly]

Cierra: [giving Maurice a strange look] Yeah, whatever. Thanks for 
showing me the way, but you�d better get going. We need our privacy, 
if you know what I mean.......

Maurice: Yeah, I know what you mean. < I�d better get out of here 
before the sparks start to fly !> [Maurice beats a hasty retreat as 
Cierra uses her key (The one she weaseled out of Maurice) to unlock 
the door and enter the trailer]

Joel: [moaning loudy] Oh Fairchild, you�re the best I�ve had all day 
!!!!

Fairchild: ooooohhhhhh !

Cierra: [hammerspaces a Gundam f91 mecha] What the hell do you think 
you�re doing ?!!!!!!! [Cierra proceeds to blow Joel to hell and back] 
I�m supposed to be your girlfriend ! And what do you mean �the best 
you�ve had all day� ? How many more have there been ? What new depths 
of deprevity have you sunken into !?!

Joel: * Erk !* [Fairchild grabs her disguarded clothing and hightails 
it outta there while Cierra is busy blasting Joel.] * Gasp !, Sputter 
!* [Cierra continues to blast Joel for another 45 minutes as she vents 
all of her aggression]

Cierra: That�ll teach you ! I�m the only girl for you !

Joel: [now bandaged up and breathing by way of an artificial 
resporator] x_x

Cierra: Poor baby. I think I may have overdone it. It�s all your fault 
though; you know how easily I get pissed. [plants a loving kiss on 
Joel�s cheek and then punches him in the nose] Baka !!

Joel: oooogh ! < At least she didn�t go overboard like last time ( Use 
your imagination ^_^ ).>

End Part Two.

**********************************************************************
Aurtor�s End Notes: Yosh ! So ends parts one and two ! If you stuck 
with it this long, you might as well stay for the rest. In case you 
couldn�t tell, This fanfic was written by none other than Chinaboy. 
Also in case you couldn�t tell: I�m a complete loon !!! *_* 
  I warned you in advance that this was a stupid fanfic. If you didn't 
heed my warning, and then hated it after reading it, that's your own 
fault ! Pay attention the next time I tell you something ! 
For those of you who enjoyed the fic, but didn't know who some of the 
characters were:

Joel: Me !
Maurice: A friend of mine
Kuwabara: he's from Yuu-Yuu Hakusho
Toguro Ani: also from Yuu-Yuu Hakusho
Miz Mistal: from El-Hazard
Shayla-Shayla: also from El-Hazard
Yuusuke: from Yuu-Yuu Hakusho
Ranma: I shouldn't even be typing this line, so I'll stop now !
Shampoo: Same as above
Mousse: Same as above
Cierra: my real life girlfriend
Mihoshi: Tenchi Muyo
Sasami: Tenchi Muyo
Tsunami: Tenchi Muyo
Catilin Fairchild: Gen 13 (comic book)
  Any other characters you don't recognize were made up for this fic ! 
Oh yeah!! For those of you who may have noticed 'otenba' was 
deliberatly misspelled as 'otemba'. Otenba means tomboy. I hope no one 
was offended at how you favorite character(s) may have been portrayed 
in this story. It's all in good fun, and besides; I warpped a few of 
my favorites too! For those that are even reading this, I promise to 
try and make the fic a little more serious in the next two parts. 
You'll notice that I said I'd *try*.........

   Special Thanks To:

Bakayaro: for getting me into anime and  kicking my ass about 
finishing this part of the fic,  Check out his page at geocities !
M. Daniels: for getting me hooked on fanfics!!
Cierra Monroe: for not throttling me because of how I portrayed you in 
this fic (it's all true though ! ^_^), and for being there when I 
needed you
My McDonald's Mighty Max Happy Meal Toy: it helps me conscentrait !
and lastly, My Friends Cat: for not calling the aspca !

   Please send all questions, comments, complaints, peanuts, popcorn, 
and candy to: SensuiShin@aol.com
 That's all for now, parts 3 and 4 are on the way ! Till then, Be 
afraid, Be Very Afraid !!!!!   

--
  ___________
 / Here lies:\   "I'm on seriously screwed up individual"
|   Andrew    |  "but I could be worse... I could be normal."
|             |
|   I think   |                    Andrew Petalik
| he's hungry |  
|             |  "Lemony fresh" - Taz after reading a Ranma lemon