Subject: fanfic
         U.Y. fanfic, "Papa"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: it is my assumption that the readers of this
fanfic are familiar with not only the Urusei Yatsura series
as a whole, but also specifically with one of the television
episodes in particular. In the US this episode can be found
on vol 7 of the tape series distributed by AnimEigo inc.
Oddly enough, this tape DOES seem to be in almost all of the
video rental outlets that have any significant amount of 
anime available. (video outlets in my geographic area are
notoriously haphazard in their anime selection) It is my 
belief that the viewing of this tape is not necessary for
the ENJOYMENT of this fanfic. I am however, certain that the
viewing of this episode (or the reading of the equivalent
manga, if there is one) IS necessary if you are to 
understand the story. This story takes place sometime 
after the aforementioned episode.

please send c&c and flames to plepant@nyx.net

This story is written by a fan, for the enjoyment of fans.
All characters and situations within are based on material
by Rumiko Takahashi. This story is not to be sold or used 
for profit in any manner. 

             The Little Woodsman humbly offers,
             
                           "Papa"
             a Urusei Yatsura fanfic in one part

     Classes were over for the day, but Ataru Moroboshi was
not relaxing.  Instead he was pelting down the halls of 
Tomobiki High while Megane and the rest of Lum's fan club 
gave chase, waving brooms and other cleaning supplies in
threat. "MOROBOSHI!", yelled the erstwhile leader of his 
pursuers. "We helped you pass that math exam, now pay us what 
you PROMISED!"
     Those students who remained in Tomobiki's halls at this
hour, cleaning or putting in their time for special interest 
clubs or school projects were well-used to the hijinks of 
Ataru and those who kept company with him regularly. They 
merely moved to the side of the halls as the unlucky Moroboshi
sped past, the girls moving farther over than was perhaps,
absolutely necessary to avoid collisions.
     Ataru put on an extra burst of speed as he rounded the 
corner of the hall where the science classrooms were. Ducking
into one of the chem labs, he held the door closed and pressed
his ear to it, trying to quiet his breathing as he listened for
sounds of his pursuers. Satisfied that they weren't immediately
outside the door, Ataru opened it a crack and pressed his eye 
to the gap. What he saw was not encouraging. Megane & co, as 
well used to Ataru's ways as the other students of Tomobiki,
had not sped through the hall and blindly down the stairs as he 
had hoped. Instead, they were now gathered at the end of the
hall, hotly debating which lab to storm first. As Ataru was
beginning to think he would have to chance another mad dash 
through the building, an ear-piercing cry of *EEK! HENTAI!* 
sounded from around the corner, immediately followed by the 
sound of a loud slap. Megane & co immediately turned and
rushed towards the source of the noise, assuming (with due 
cause) that Ataru HAD to be the source of the screamer's
consternation. Ataru stood up straight, his gaze fixed on 
the corner around which his pursuers had vanished. Though 
relieved, he was somewhat perplexed. After all, who besides
he in all of Tomobiki High inspired such reactions from 
females? 
     As Ataru remained standing at the door with his 
attention fixed on the corner that Megane & co. had 
disappeared around, a hand fell on his shoulder. 
"Moroboshi," an even mellow voice came from behind him.
"What did you do to upset your friends so this time?"
     "Oh," replied Ataru, his attention still fixed on the
corner that his pursuers had vanished around. "I promised 
that if they would help me pass the big math exam, I would 
get them some pictures of Lum sleeping." The unkempt boy 
finally relaxed his intent scrutiny of the hallway. "But 
every time I tried to open the closet door Ten would wake
up and scorch me, so I couldn't deliver," he finished, 
finally turning to look at his questioner. "Ulp," he said
as his gaze took in an immaculately groomed figure in 
spotless white clothes. "M-Mendo, what are you doing 
here?"
     "I came to this laboratory to mix up some special 
polishing compound for my katana," Mendo replied in his 
usual level tone, unsheathing the weapon in question under 
the nose of a sweating Ataru, who was making frantic 
"Ah, ahm" noises as he backed against the doorframe. "See 
how it gleams, Moroboshi? It is far too fine a weapon to be 
used on the likes of you. BUT," Mendo's voice finally rose 
in anger, "SINCE IT IS WHAT I HAVE TO HAND!" the fury in his
eyes matching his voice as he drew the sword back for
a fatal swing.
     Ataru took advantage of the space provided by Mendo 
pulling back the katana and made a break for it. And so his 
mad dash down the halls resumed, now with a different, more 
lethal pursuer.

     The afternoon sun shone down on the grounds of Tomobiki 
High, so that the immaculate lawn and green trees made an 
idyllic setting. If you could ignore the screams and crashes
emenating from inside the building, that is. A beautiful girl 
with green hair and horns, wearing a school uniform descended 
from the warm blue sky towards a small group of students. 
     "Hello Odayaka," the green-haired beauty addressed the 
girl she knew best. "Have you seen Darl..." her words were cut
off by a particularly loud crash from the third floor of the
building. "Never mind," the oni said, smiling at her friend as
she began to rise back into the air. "I've found him." 
     

     Inside the school, Ataru was becoming desperate. Mendo
was much more physically fit than his previous pursuers had 
been. This combined with the fact that he hadn't had a chance
to get his breath back after the first chase made it difficult
for him to maintain his lead. Up ahead, Ataru saw the door to
lecture room three standing open. Knowing that the room had an
exit on the other side, and that it was crowded with too many
desks, Ataru sped through the enrance, in hopes that the 
clutter would slow down his pursuer. Slamming the door he had
come through behind him, he leapt over the clutter of desks 
and ran out the opposite door pulling it shut behind him as 
well.

     Mendou saw his quarry enter the classroom, taking a 
fraction of a second to slam the door behind him. Only 
Moroboshi would expect such pathetic obstacles to slow down
one who was bent on righteous vengance. Mendou skidded to 
a halt and yanked the door open, prepared to dash after the
vile creature he was chasing. He was not prepared, however,
for the hundreds of white objects that flew at him through 
the doorway. His senses were obscured and panic began to 
rise in him as he was assailed by a seemingly endless 
flurry of white that flew directly at his face. He swung 
his katana frantically, but it was like trying to cut a 
raincloud. Eventually, the white objects ceased their 
attack on the young man and drifted down the hall, 
separating and leaving by a multitude of different
routes. The heir to the Mendou family fortune lowered 
his sword and gazed in bewilderment at the departing
....butterflies?

     Ataru stopped at the top of the school's northeast 
stairwell. Somehow, he seemed to have lost Mendou completely
after leading him through the lecture hall, but Ataru knew 
that he wasn't out of the woods yet. The rich kid still had 
to be around somewhere, after Ataru's blood and waving that 
sword of his around. Why did the school faculty let him carry
that thing anyway? Ataru snorted to himself. Maybe if he had 
gotten really lucky Mendou had tripped on the way through the
lecture hall and cut his own head off. Ataru sighed and shook
his head at his own wishful thinking. Mendou might be a 
complete fool, but a klutz he wasn't. Even if Mendou were out
of the picture, Ataru still had Megane and his goon squad
to contend with. Getting out of the school without a beating
or a maiming was going to take all of his talent. Ataru 
looked thoughtfully out the open window next to him. There 
was that tree right next to the window, and if he left by 
that route he was almost certain to lose his pursuers. Still,
those branches looked awfully thin to bear his weight. Better
to try and sneak down the stairwell and out the door at it's
bottom. He was just about to begin his descent when he was
interrupted by a cry of "Darling!"
     "Lum-Chan!" Ataru said, for once glad to see his erstwhile
fiancee floating towards him through the hall. The sight of her
had inspired a plan in his devious mind. "When was the last 
time I took you out for tea, Lum?"
     The oni girl halted in midair, slightly puzzled by her 
darling earth boy's unusual reaction to her presence. "You've
never taken me out for tea," mild reproach showed through her
words. "You know that."
     "Then it's past time that I did, don't you think? Lum,"
he said stepping forward to take her hands between his own "do
you remember that little cafe by the park? It would be so 
romantic to sit together under those willow trees by the cafe
entrance. Why don't you fly us there, right NOW?"
     "OH DARLING!" Lum exclaimed, joy radiating from her smile.
     *All right!* thought Ataru. *I DO get to leave out the 
window, and all it'll cost me is the price of a couple of cups
of tea!* Glee at the success of his plan, however, was short-
lived, as Chibi's voice cut into his thoughts.
     "There he is!" The diminutive Lum fan was pointing at
Ataru from the foot of the stairs. He and his three compatriots
began to charge up the stairs, yelling. "Photos of Lum sleeping
for getting you through that exam was the deal now PAY UP!"
     "MOROBOSHI!" Ataru turned to see that Mendou had finally
caught up and was now charging towards him, katana raised high.
"FOR USING LUM IN SUCH A DESPICABLE MANNER YOU MUST DIE!!"
     With pursuers closing in from both his left and right 
sides, Ataru looked forward, only to see a sight more fearful
yet. Lum's body cracled with electricity, but the arcs leaping
from her hands were nothing compared to the fury blazing from 
her eyes. Ataru backed up, barely catching himself as he started
to topple out of the open window behind him. A quick glance 
over his shoulder confirmed that the ground was as far away
as ever. His pursuers from either side had dropped their pace
to a slow walk. Certain that they had him trapped, they were
relishing closing in for the kill.
     "So," Lum said, raising her arms above her head and
entwining her fingers together in a gesture that Ataru found
all too familiar. "You won't go for walks with me in the park."
Her voice rose in both pitch and volume. "You won't eat my
cooking." Her voice rose higher still. "But you will trade
pictures of me for test answers!?!" Ataru's eyes were the 
size of saucers and he was leaned backwards almost halfway out
the window. He had never seen Lum build up SO much electricity
before discharging it. Her voice had now risen to a shrill
scream as she brought her hands down, levelling her extended
index fingers at his chest. "DARLING, I *HATE* YOU!!!"
     As the electricity arced towards him, Ataru flopped 
backwards through the window and the glass slammed down.
Striking the nonconductive glass, Lum's lightning bolt 
reflected off at odd angles, neatly catching Megane & co on
one side, and Mendou on the other. Lum looked on in 
consternation as the teenage boys lit up like x-rays and 
contorted into seemingly impossible positions.

     From his vantage point tangled in the branches of the
tree, Ataru looked at the incandescent glow, and listened 
with some satisfaction to the screams of his classmates.
*Serves them right* he thought. They were always so happy
to see Lum zap him that he had no sympathy when they got a
taste of what it felt like. Still, he couldn't stay to enjoy
their lesson in pain. His own position was too precarious.
*Odd* he thought as he rapidly climbed downwards. That window
had slammed down at precisely the right moment. And he could
have sworn that he felt something PULL him out of the window.
Oh well, he'd worry about it sometime later, after he had 
reached the relative safety of home. 
*************************************************************

     Ataru trudged the last few yards to his house, his 
bookbag held against his back in that odd, over-the-shoulder
way that he had. (No, not his real bookbag, the fake one that
he kept wrapped in plastic and stashed in the bush around the
corner for days like this when he had to leave school quickly
and didn't want his parents to know that he wasn't bringing
his homework home. Hey, this wasn't the first time he'd had 
to do this.) He sighed wearily. Those all-over-the school 
chases had really begun to take it out of him lately. 
Shuffling up the last few steps to the front step he almost
tripped on an unfamiliar object that had been left in front
of the house. He picked up the brown paper sack and peered
at it's contents curiously. Now why would anyone leave their
groceries on his front doorstep? As he examined this latest
puzzle of the day the front door opened and his mother 
emerged. One glance at her folded arms and pursed lips told
him that he was in greater trouble than usual.
     "Well, I see you found your way home at least," his 
mother said tersely. "But I know you've forgotten to get 
the things I asked you to pick up for the special dinner I
was going to make for your father tomorrow, since you left
the envelope with the list AND the money lying on the 
kitchen counter this morning." To Ataru's perspective his
mother suddenly seemed to fill the entire skyline and be 
wreathed with flames. "You DO remember that Father's day
is tomorrow, and that it only comes once a year, and that
your father puts up with more from you than..." her words
trailed off and her appearance returned to normal as she
took notice of the package in her son's arms. Stepping
forward she took it from him and examined it's contents.
"Chicken, garlic, green onions...everyting's here." She
rummaged in the bottom of the sack and pulled out a small
brightly wrapped box, then looked up so that her gaze met
her son's. "You remembered everything, and even bought him
a gift--all with your own money." She shifted the bag into
the crook of her left arm and stepped forward to embrace
her son with her right, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Oh Ataru," she murmured. "I'm so glad you were born."
Ataru remained standing dumbfounded for as his mother 
turned and re-entered the house, and for some time after.

*********************************************************
     Ataru had his eyes mostly closed and was pinching
the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger
as he entered his room. *You think I would get used to
all this weirdness eventually* he thought as he tossed
his erzatz bookbag onto the table.
     "So, you're home." Ataru turned to see his alien fiancee
standing next to the closet which had become her personal
space in recent weeks. Her tone of voice was flat and her 
gaze cold. She had been waiting for him. Being able to fly had
it's advantages. "I thought maybe you could help me make up
my mind," she continued in the same icy tones. "Should I
just incinerate you now, or drag you back home and feed you to
something really awful, like my *father* or *Rei*?" 
     Ataru had backed up to the table and had his hands put out
in front of him as he stammered "L-Lum, I can explain."   His
mind worked furiously as he tried desperately to make up an
excuse for the day's events. Lum usually calmed down after a
short while. He'd never had to deal with her anger on a single
subject once they'd been separated for a short time, and he had
assumed that today would be the same.
     "I think really," the oni went on in the same frigid  
manner, "that incinerating you now is the best thing." 
"After all," she said as she raised one hand in an almost 
careless manner, "I wouldn't want to listen to your rotten 
excuses all the way back to my planet."
     Ataru was now convinced that the end had come. He closed
his eyes waiting for the inevitable final ZZARK! When the 
lethal zap didn't come, he slowly opened one eye, then the
other.
     Lum's gaze had shifted slightly. He turned his head to see
what had captured her attention. 
     On the table, next to his fake bookbag was a teddy bear. A
plush green teddy bear with horns. Tied around it's neck with a
red ribbon was a folded card. 
     Lum's arm had dropped, and her expression had softened
slightly. She drifted over to the table, giving Ataru a sidelong,
wary glance as she drew even with him. Something about that look
gave him a worse feeling in the pit of his stomach than the 
threat of death had. *She expects me to hurt her again* he 
thought. Why did that sicken him so? 
     Lum picked up the teddy bear, continuing to give Ataru that
cautious glance. She opened the card with one hand, and lowered
her eyes to read it. From the angle he was at, Ataru could not
see what was written on the card, but apparently whatever it said
affected Lum deeply. As she read, her expression changed to 
sadness. She bit her lower lip, and tears stood out in her eyes.
Finally, she lowered the card and looked up at the boy she had
been pursuing for so long. Finally the tears in her eyes burst
forth as she flung herself on him, wrapping him in her arms and
saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll try not to judge you so 
harshly from now on."
     Rather bewildered, Ataru put his arms around her. Maybe she
wasn't so bad after all.
****************************************************************
     Late that night, Ataru was lying on his futon in the middle
of the room, snoring as lustily as always. Apart from his snores,
the room was perfectly still. Atop the table, a tiny head peeked
out from around the side of a coffee mug. The head was then
followed by a small, but perfectly formed feminine body. The 
tiny creature stood no more than a handspan high. Everything 
about her was purest white, her skin, her hair and the gauzy 
tunic she wore. Delicate antennae waved gently on her forehead,
and gossamer white butterfly wings fluttered gently on her back.
A soft white glow seemed to emenate from her, adding to the 
ethereal quality of her features. She walked softly to the edge
of the table, and fluttered to the floor. With many a backward
look at the sleeping boy, she crossed the room to stand by the
closet. Glancing once more at Ataru to make sure he was fast
asleep, she put her hands to the tiny gap between the closet
door and it's jamb pushing it open a mere centimeter. She 
froze and an expression of alarm crossed her face as Ten, 
floating some three feet off the ground, stirred and spoke 
in his sleep. The beautiful pixie waited until she was 
certain that the diminutive alien was not waking, and then
squeezed through the gap in the door. Inside the closet, she
gazed fondly at the alien girl, fast asleep with the green
teddy bear snuggled up under her chin. Making her way softly
across the closet floor, the little pixie jumped up on Lum's
shoulder, and leaned over to whisper in the alien girl's ear
at some length. The tiny creature then stared fondly at the
oni for a while, before planting a soft kiss on her cheek and
tiptoeing out of the closet. Once she had closed the closet door,
the delicate creature walked softly over to where Ataru slept.
A flutter of her wings took her into the air, to land on the
sleeping boy's chest. Dropping into a cross-legged position, she
rested her left elbow on her knee, and her chin in her left hand,
while her right hand stroked his chest gently. She smiled, 
somewhat sadly, and shook her head with her chin still resting 
on her palm. "You really are a handful, aren't you?" she asked, 
her eyes resting on Ataru's face. She shifted gracefully out of 
her sitting position to lie on her side. "I love you," she 
murmured in her sweet little voice as her eyes slowly closed 
and her head came to rest on her arms.
"Papa."