Reading a certain text lately, and this horror came to me...

THE BOOK OF BELLDANDY
(disclaimer)

1.  And it came to pass, that in the land of Nippon was a man named 
Keiichi, of the seed of Morisato.
2.  Keiichi was of short stature, and women did not favor him, nor did 
they flock to his side.
3.  But Keiichi was a godly man, who loved the Lord and kept His 
commandments.
4.  He dwelt in a dormitory for men at Nekomi Tech, verily even a 
dormitory where women were not permitted.  And there did he do the 
bidding of his sempais,
5.  Who said unto him, "Keiichi, you wilt watch the dormitory while we 
are about our business, even unto taking messages on the telephone, yea, 
and you shall not leave until our return."
6.  And Keiichi kept faithful watch, but anon he grew faint with hunger, 
for his sempais had not provided him with food or drink, nor any 
sustenance. 
7.  Keiichi said unto himself, "Why should I go hungry?  For I have the 
telephone to call for take-out, yea, even food to still the gnawing of my 
belly."
8.  But as the Lord had provided, the first take-out place was closed, 
and likewise the second, and even unto the third were the take-out places 
closed.
9.  Keiichi grew wroth, and smote the telephone keys randomly.
10.  And a voice came upon the line, and it spoke unto him, "Thou hast 
come into contact with the Goddess Helper Office.  If it pleaseth thee, 
hold fast until an operator is sent to assist thee."


	You get the idea...


SKJAM!