Well, my fanzine, MOONSHINE PRESENTS, came up real short on page count this
time, so I'm writing stuff to pad it out... (if you got artwork you'd like
in a fanzine, lemme know quick! ^_^;)
... among which are several Compatibility Tests for anime fans who want to
start a relationship with select anime characters.
Since test messages are frowned upon, and I haven't recieved any posts from
the FFML since before I re-posted Wilderness' betas, I'd post one as a
teaser to order the fanzine.
Here y'are...
Redneck
MARITAL PROSPECT COMPATIBILITY TEST:
NENE ROMANOVA
Please answer A, B, C, or D to the following questions. Be honest. Scoring is listed at the end of the test.
______________________________________
(1) When a heavy thrash song plays on the radio, your reaction is to:
(a) turn off the radio
(b) change the station to something a little more, like, -now-
(c) rock out to the tune
(d) throw the radio into a wall, smashing it to bits, complaining about the rotten commercialized crap they pollute the airwaves with these days
(2) When confronted by a boomer, your preferred reaction is to:
(a) put on a hardsuit and render the boomer into its component elements
(b) put on a hardsuit and try to blend into the woodwork while somebody else fights it
(c) put on a hardsuit and run away screaming in fright
(d) just run away, forget the stupid hardsuit
(3) To you, the word 'policeman' means
(a) magnificent guardian of justice and light
(b) the force of law and order
(c) the guys in the rearview mirror flashing their lights
(d) worthless no-talent no-brained civil servants with a license to screw up your life
(4) Your favorite snack is:
(a) potato chips
(b) chocolate cake
(c) both
(d) Beer, and lots of it
(5) Your favorite computer game is:
(a) CyberQuake III The Secret Levels, blood guts and gore
(b) Virtual Victor IV, hentai for the discerning slut
(c) Macigirls 2030, the cutie puzzle game
(d) Netsurfer 8.0, the net browser that put Netscrape in its grave
(6) Your idea of fun is:
(a) a night out with your friends
(b) a night becoming one with your home terminal
(c) a night wreaking mindless destruction on anything you happen to hate
(d) a night making the naked pretzel until 4 AM
(7) Your dream mode of transportation is:
(a) a happy fuzzy pony
(b) a motor scooter
(c) a supercharged turbocycle
(d) Teleportation
(8) Your favorite color is:
(a) pink
(b) blue
(c) red
(d) ORANGE
(9) You have a choice of two of three items for dinner- steamed broccoli, seasoned meatloaf and cheescake. You cannot choose just one, and you cannot choose all three. What do you choose?
(a) Broccoli and meatloaf
(b) Broccoli and cheesecake
(c) Meatloaf and cheesecake
(d) Cheescake and threaten the cook with violent bodily harm until he makes me a burger
(10) What did you think of this test?
(a) Yawn. Indifferent.
(b) It's cute.
(c) What were you smoking?
(d) You little fatassed fanboy twerp, are you making FUN of me?
Turn the page to see how you did...
COMPATIBILITY TEST:
NENE ROMANOVA
SCORING
(1) a=0, b = 2, c = 5, d = 10
(2) a = 10, b = 5, c = 3, d = 0
(3) a = 2, b = 5, c = 0, d = 10
(4) a = 2, b= 3, c =5, d=10
(5) a = 10, b = 0 and shame on you, c = 2, d = 5
(6) a = 2, b = 5, c = 10, d = 0 and shame on you again
(7) a = 0, b = 5, c = 10, d = 2
(8) a = 5, b = 3, c = 10, d = 0
(9) a = 0, b = 2, c = 5, d = 10
(10) a =0, b = 5, c = 2, d = 10
RANKING
0 - 1 = This is impossible. If you got a number in this range, your math skills must be worse than you (or anyone else) thought. If you can't even count on your fingers, don't count on wowing the Goddess of Neurotopia.
2 - 16 = Forget it, Nene wouldn't want to be near you. You're incompatible in most respects, and you'd have better luck dating a sexaroid, although with some of those answers you'd probably have trouble with her too.
17 - 30 = You're trying, you're working your way towards Nene's attitude, but really any attempt at a relationship would end in heartbreak. You're just a little out of phase with her, like a guitar string tuned a third of a step flat so that when you hit an F chord the sound runs straight into your jaw and down your spine like an armadillo on a chalkboard, doesn't that really HURT?
31 - 40 = You might have some rough spots, but the two of you just might be able to work them out. Good luck!
41 - 49 = You're an excellent match for Nene. Next you'll be saying you're cute, have an annual income in the six figures American, enjoy hacking high security networks, and spend your free time helping a merc group carry on a personal crusade against Boomers.
50 = Wow! Do you have a twin brother for Linna to date?
51 - 100 = Sorry, you're, well, just a bit overqualified for Nene... on the other hand, Priss is looking for an SO. No, really. She's been really lonely, y'know those rumors about her and Sylia are totally false. Look, there she is, why don't you go ask her... go on.... trust us... ^_^
Kris Overstreet, will write for food... | "FOOLISH CANINE! I AM NOT
http://www.txdirect.net/users/redneck | -YOUR- FRIEND!"
c/o White Lightning Productions | --- Two Stupid Dogs
http://www.jurai.net/~redneck/wlp/ | "Friendly fire isn't."
Webmaster for Antarctic Press | --- ancient Army proverb
http://www.antarctic-press.com/ | ***QUESTION EVERYTHING***