Ranma 1/2: Siblings
Episode 9

All Ranma 1/2 characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi.  Viz owns the US
rights, and I'm using them without permission.  Don't sue me, I have no
money.

***

"This is dumb," Andrew griped.  "I feel like an invalid."  Andrew was in a
wheelchair, being pushed by Akane at an amazing clip.  Ranma ran ahead of
them, carrying both his and Andrew's bookbags.  In other words, it was a
more or less normal Monday morning.

"You ARE an invalid," Akane reminded him has they rounded a corner, the
wheelchair making skid marks on the ground.  They zoomed through the gate,
just in time to see a a huge crowd of boys attack a girl.  Ranma dropped
the bookbags and prepared to jump to the girl's defense, but Akane put her
hand on his arm and stopped him.  "Watch, I think it's Kaori."

Ranma sighed as he watched Kaori demolish the boys.  "Don't tell me Kuno's
been hitting on her too."  He chuckled.  "I better warn bro."  He turned to
Andrew and explained what was happening to him.

"And they think it'd work?" Andrew demanded indignantly.  "What kind of
idiots are they?"

"Idiots who listen to Kuno," Ranma told him.  Andrew started to snap an
reply, but Kaori had finished the fight.  "Speaking of whom..."

Kuno strode confidently over to Kaori.  "Hail, mighty Kaori Hidaka.  I,
Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinken High, challenge you.  If you
are victorious, I shall allow you to date with me!"

"Who'd want to date a jerk like you?"  Kaori demanded.  Kuno swung his
bokken at her, and she ducked.  "RADASHII KEN!"  She swung her fist at
Kuno, who flew through the air, crashing though the third story windows. 
Kaori dusted off her hands.  "Pervert."

Andrew rolled up to Kaori.  "Nice punch," he said offhandedly.  "I assume
that's what it's supposed to look like."

"Andrew!" Kaori cried, "You're back!"  She gave him a hug that was just
short of a glomp.

"You noticed," he said, wincing as she squeezed his ribs a little too
tightly.  "So, will you go out with me?" he asked.  "Or do I have to start
training?" He indicated the pile of boys, most of whom were awake and
watching the proceedings intently.

Kaori smiled and patted him on the cheek.  "Of course I will.  Friday?" she
asked, and Andrew nodded.  "See you in class!"  She called as she ran off
into the school.

Andrew grinned after her, then smirked over at the pile of boys, most of
whom were giving him dark looks.  "And that, gentlemen, is how it's done." 
Akane came up and rolled him away, quivering with laughter.

"Showoff," she scolded half-heartedly.

***

Andrew sighed as he rolled himself home.  *Damnit, couldn't those two stay
out of trouble for one day?*  He rounded the corner to the Tendo dojo, and
broke out into a grin as he saw a familiar form leaning by the gate. 
"Tarou!"

The young man grinned back at him.  Over the past few weeks, the two had
become good friends.  It was a tribute to that friendship that Ranma and
Tarou could remain civil to each other even when Andrew wasn't around. 
"Still playing the cripple, I see."

"Feh," Andrew sighed, disgusted.  "Stupid family won't let me out of the
wheelchair.  How the hell am I supposed to go on a date this weekend if I
can't even walk?"

"Date?  You mean that Kaori girl agreed to go out with you?" Tarou smirked.
 "And here I thought she had taste," he joked.

Andrew looked sheepish. "Yeah, well, she wouldn't say yes or no until I
made it out of the hospital."  He suddenly glared up at Tarou, anxious to
change the subject.  "So where the hell have you been?  I haven't seen you
for days."

"I've been learning to cook," Tarou said, embarrassed.  Andrew looked at
him suspiciously.

"Learning to cook what?" he demanded.

"Okonomiyaki,"  Tarou admitted.  Andrew started to laugh, and Tarou glared
at him.  "What's so damn funny?"

"You and Ukyo," Andrew chortled, out of breath.  "Mental image."  He
laughed a bit more.  "Cute couple."

"It's not like that!" Tarou insisted defensively, then flushed as Andrew
continued snickering.  "Well, maybe it is."  That sent Andrew into a whole
new round of laughter, which Tarou soon joined.  Andrew was the first to
stop, as a sobering thought came to him.

"Aren't you afraid about her discovering your name?" he asked, worried.

Tarou snorted.  "She knew.  I don't know whether to thank Ranma or punch
him."

"Punch.  It's always more satisfying.  She doesn't care?"

"Well, she agrees it's bad, but it's not a big deal to her," Tarou said, as
a little smile appeared on his face.

Andrew brought up another topic, one which he thought might be hard for
Tarou.  "How is she taking the news on Ranma and Akane?  I didn't see her
at the brawl."

Instead of disappearing, the smile on Tarou's face grew a little sad.  "She
took it pretty hard, but I think she knew how Ranma felt for a while.  She
just refused to believe it, but she's OK now.  So far, the only people who
haven't admitted it are Ranma and Akane."  Tarou used the oppotunity to
change the subject again.  "How's cat-girl taking it?"

Andrew shook his head in dismay.  "Oh man, you won't believe this..."  He
turned the wheelchair and entered the dojo, Tarou at his side.

***

By Tuesday, Andrew was out of the chair for short periods.  By Wednesday,
he was walking to school.  By the time Thursday came around, he was
training again, although much less seriously than he had all those weeks
ago.  He was recuperating, after all.

Andrew sat at the side of the dojo, watching Mousse and Ranma-chan spar. 
He groaned as Mousse threw a brace of shuriken at Ranma-chan.  "Mousse, you
idiot, no bladed weapons," he yelled, stopping the match.  Mousse looked
embarassed.  "Let's try something else.  Drop all your weapons."

Mousse looked shocked.  "ALL of them?"  Ranma-chan was making negatory
motions to Andrew behind Mousse's back.  Andrew ignored her and nodded. 
Mousse shrugged and started to drop weapons in a corner of the dojo. 
Ranma-chan groaned in misery.

"'Drew, I hope you did your homework," she said.  "'Cuz we're gonna be here
all night."  Ranma-chan pointed to Mousse, who already had a pile of
weapons waist-high and showed no signs of slowing down.  Andrew looked at
Mousse in dismay.  He went to his room and came back with his futon and
pillow.  He set them up and laid out on them.

"Mousse, wake me when you're done," he said, and promptly fell asleep.

Andrew awoke to a bleary eyed Mousse shaking his shoulder.  He rolled over
and looked at the pile of weapons.  He closed his eyes and looked at them
again, then suddenly shot to his feet.  "Good god, Mousse,
that's...incredible!"

Form one side of the dojo's wall to the other, there stood a chest high
mound of weapons.  Andrew walked from one side to the other, noting
katanas, naginatas, other assorted pole arms, a giant spatula that looked
like it was Ukyo's, three of Cologne's staves, a whole pile of Shampoo's
bonbori.  In one pile, there was even one of Akane's mallets.  Surounding
all this were hordes of other weaponry, most of which Andrew didn't
recognize, or if he did, couldn't put a name to.  

Andrew glanced over at Mousse, who was walking oddly beside him.  Every
time Mousse came up off the ground, he would hop a little.  It was kind of
like watching the early astronauts on the moon.  "What's with you?" he
asked.

Mousse pushed his glasses up, and grinned sheepishly.  "I feel so...light."
 He chuckled nervously.  "You try walking around for 10 years with all that
strapped to your body and see how you feel without it."  He tried to take
another step, and ended up leaping into the ceiling.  "See what I mean?" he
said, rubbing the top of his head.  "I bet if I make a good try I could
just jump right into orbit without Shampoo hitting me at all."  He stopped,
and looked over at Andrew suspiciously.  "Why are you two doing this?"

Andrew shrugged, then grinned.  "Ancient technique passed down three
thousand years Amazon history," he said, mimicing Shampoo's speech pattern.
 "Fix up old girlfriend with other guy technique."  He laughed at the
disgusted look on Mousse's face, and went to wake up Ranma-chan.  "Hey,
bro, wake up!" he yelled, kicking her lightly.  As she struggled into
wakefullness, he turned back to Mousse.  "First thing, we have to remove
every blunt weapon from this pile."  Looking at the pile, he thought, *This
is going to be a long night.*

***

"Akane!"  Akane woke from her own slumber to hear Nabiki pounding on her
door.  She glanced at her alarm.  6:59.  *How does she do that?* she
wondered.  *Exactly one minute.*

"I'm coming," she called back, and pulled on her robe.  "What's the hurry?"
she yawned at Nabiki as she openned the door.

Nabiki grabbed her arm and dragged her down the stairs.  "You have to see
this!"  She pulled the girl into the dojo.  Nodoka and Kasumi stood there,
their hands over their faces, trying to stiffle a giggle.  Akane pushed
them aside and looked at what they were staring at.  She covered her mouth
to prevent herself from breaking into giggles herself.  "Don't they look
cute?" Nabiki said.

There, on a futon, lay Ranma-chan, sound asleep.  Her feet were under a
curled up Andrew-wolf, that snapped and whimpered softly in his sleep.  Her
arm was curled around a sleeping Mousse-duck.  They were surrounded by
pieces of broken water balloons.  Akane had to admit, it was the cutest
thing she had ever seen.  

Nabiki pulled out a camera and started to take pictures.  Akane frowned at
her.  "I thought you stopped that."  Hurt, Nabiki looked at her, obviously
insulted.

"I'm reformed Akane, not dead."  She took a few more pictures, finishing
the roll, and put her camera in pocket.  "Besides, I'd never forgive myself
if I didn't get a picture of that for my album."

"You think we should wake them?"  Kasumi asked Nodoka.

"We had better," Nodoka replied.  "Dear would not take well to this sight,
heartwarming as it is."

Akane got a mischievous look on her face.  "Kasumi, is the bath warmed up
yet?"

"Why, yes, it should be, why do you ask?"  Her eyes widened as
comprehension dawned on her, and soon the four women were lost in a giggle
fit.  "Akane, that's awful!"

"It's perfect!" she declared, and ran to get a bucket.  She filled it up
with warm water from the bath, and returned to the dojo, where she doused
the three sleepers.  The arrangement altered, so that Ranma was now holding
a naked Mousse in his arms, their feet planted firmly in the back of a
naked Andrew.

Andrew was the first to waken.  He openned his eyes, and saw the four
giggling women at the same time he noticed his nakedness.  He yelped, and
dove for his clothing, putting them on in a flash.  Mousse and Ranma were
next.  Mousse openned his eyes and looked blearily at Ranma's face. 
"Shampoo?"  Ranma yelled in horror upon realizing Mousse was naked, and
booted Mousse away form himself, sending Mousse flying into his own robes,
which he quickly put on.  

The three boys glared at each other, then looked at the four women who were
laughing up a storm at their expense.  "Nice family, Ranma," Mousse said.

Ranma looked over at Mousse slyly.  "Hey, you still have some of those
water balloons from practice?"  Mousse grinned and pulled out a handful. 
Andrew and Ranma walked over to him, each taking a couple for themselves. 
"Get 'em?" he asked Andrew.

The women's laughter began to falter as they realized what the young men
were holding.  Andrew nodded to Ranma.  "Get them!"  They cried, and the
two young men proceeded to pelt the women with the water balloons, Mousse
providing ammo.  The women shrieked and attempted to get away, but each was
soaked thoroughly before the men were through.  They fled into the house,
the young men chasing after.

A few minutes later, Genma and Soun came down the stairs, woken up by the
racket.  They were greeted by the sight of the Tendo daughters and Nodoka
soaked to the bone, while Ranma, Andrew and Mousse sat on the couch
discussing battle plans.  The women and men looked at the two middle-aged
men a little guiltily.  As the two men watched, every time a pair of the
others locked gazes, they would start to snicker.

Genma and Soun exchanged a confused glance.  "Saotome, old friend, I've
learned somtimes it's best not to ask."

"Without a doubt, Tendo, without a doubt."

***

Mousse entered the Nekohanten from the front, followed by Ranma and Andrew.
 "Shampoo!" he roared.  "I challenge you for the right to your hand in
marriage!"  The various patrons of the restaurant looked up from their
meals for a moment and went back to eating.  This was nothing new for this
joint.

Shampoo came out of the kitchen in the back with a couple of orders. 
"Stupid Mousse, Shampoo no can play now."  She took the meals to the
customers, and wished them a good meal.  "Shampoo beat you up later."

Mousse slumped, but Ranma elbowed him.  "Hey Mousse, you hear that, she
just forfeited.  I guess you wont have to fight her after all."  He shot an
amused glance over at Andrew as Shampoo stiffened.

Andrew grinned back at him.  "Yeah, I guess she's finally admitted she's
too weak to beat you Mou-mph!"  Mousse's hand covered his mouth,
forestalling any further speech.  The myopic man put his face into
Andrew's.

"Are trying to get me killed?" he hissed.  "It's going to be hard enough
without her being angry."  Mousse turned back to Shampoo, but saw her
standing in front of him, her battle aura flaring about her.  She glared
daggers at Mousse.

"Stupid Mousse want fight Shampoo, Shampoo fight stupid Mousse."  She
pulled her bonbori out and prepared to hit him, but a gnarled staff
appeared between her and Mousse.

"Great-grandaughter, control youself," Cologne said sharply.  She turned at
glared at Mousse.  "So, you're finally going to challenge her.  Good, once
you lose you will have no claim on Shampoo at all."  

Mousse paled at that, but stood firm.  "I will not lose.  I will defeat
Shampoo and make her mine!"

Cologne looked him up and down, then nodded.  "Fine.  Come, we shall take
this outside."  The elder balanced on her staff and pogoed out to the alley
behind the store, the teens following.  In the alley, the combatants took
up positions facing each other.  Shampoo went into her standard battle
stance, while Mousse simply stood relaxed.  "Defeat only by knockout or
surrender.  No water attacks allowed."  Mousse stiffened a little, and
turned accusingly to Andrew.

"It was worth a try," Andrew said defensively.  "One balloon and it would
have been an easy victory.  But one more rule.  No outside interference,"
he said, glaring at Cologne, who glared right back.

"Enough chatter," Cologne scolded.  "Begin!"

Shampoo charged Mousse, her bonbori blurring through the air and crashing
into the ground as Mousse jumped over her.   Mousse sent out a chain that
ensnared Shampoo's weapons and attempted to pull the weapons away, but she
held firm, knocking Mouuse off balance.  Mousse stumbled, right into a
powerful kick that sent him flying into a wall.  Mousse slid off, and shook
his head.  "I fight on," he said, and pulled a long pole arm out of his
robes.  Shampoo gaped in shock.  Both ends were shod with metal, but on one
end was mounted a wooden duck.  Mousse grinned at Shampoo.  "Remember this?
 You made one just like it for me."  

He swung the weapon down at Shampoo who blocked it with her bonbori.  On
the front of the duck, a small hole openned, and several eggs popped out,
which exploded on Shampoo.  When the smoke cleared, Shampoo stood dazed,
her bonbori nothing more than the hafts.  "Of course, I modified it a
little," Mousse said offhandedly as he flung out a horde of chains,
trapping Shampoo.

Shampoo struggled, trying to break free of the chains as Mousse walked over
to her.  "Do you yield?"  Mousse asked.  Shampoo closed her eyes and
continued struggling.

"Shampoo never yield.  Shampoo break free and beat Mousse!" She struggled
some more, but felt something wet strike her face.  She stopped and openned
her eyes, looking up at Mousse who was kneeling over her.  Tears streamed
from his face.  "Why stupid Mousse cry?  He too weak to beat Shampoo?"

"I'm not sad because of that, my love," Mousse said softly.  "I'm crying
because of what I'm about to do."  He pulled a small black club from his
robes.  "Forgive me Shampoo, it's the only way," he whispered as he brought
the club down on her head, knocking her out.  He pulled the chains off her,
and held her in his arms as he weeped.  After a moment, he turned to
Cologne.  "Respected Elder, I have defeated Shampoo.  My claim upon her
hand is valid."

Cologne nodded, her face neutral.  "Your claim is valid."

Andrew spoke up.  *Time to finish this.*  "Mousse, I forfeit my claim to
Shampoo's hand to you."  Mousse nodded, and turned to Ranma.

"Shampoo's yours, pal.  Keep her happy," he said, and grinned at Mousse. 
"Just watch those bonbori."  Cologne hopped over to her
great-granddaughter, and activated a couple pressure points.

"Wake up, great-granddaughter.  Meet your husband."  Shampoo's eyes slowly
openned, and focused on Mousse.

"Mousse be Shampoo's husband?" she asked him, her voice a whisper. 
"Aiyah."  She reached up and kissed him deeply.  Mousse's face turned a
brighter and brighter red as the kiss continued.  Shampoo released him, and
scowled up at her husband.  "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid
Mousse," she growled at him happily, punching him in the ribs.  "Why it
take you so long to beat Shampoo?  Shampoo was getting afraid she might
have to marry Ranma."

"WHAT?!" Ranma yelled.  He staggered back and fell to his behind.  "You
mean...all this time...you never wanted to marry me?"  Andrew snickered as
his brother was stunned by the thought.

Shampoo stood to her feet and walked over to Ranma, arm in arm with an
almost catatonic Mousse.  "Shampoo want marry Ranma at start, but she soon
realize Ranma big jerk.  Violent pervert girl's jerk.  Mousse much better
man for Shampoo, but he too STUPID," she punched Mousse in the ribs, "to
beat Shampoo.  Shampoo and great-grandmother decide to use Ranma to make
Mousse jealous."  This brought Mousse out of his stunned state.  He grinned
and swept up Shampoo, placing her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. 
"Mousse!" she cried.

"Well, finally, you're mine, Shampoo."  He strode over to the back of the
Nekohanten and booted the door, sending it crashing off its hinges.   He
disappeared up the stairs, Shampoo yelling and laughing as she beat on his
back.

Andrew looked over at Ranma, and laughed at his still-stunned brother.  He
picked him up and put him over his shoulder in much the same carry Mousse
had carried Shampoo in.  "Well, I better get you home.  Maybe Akane can get
you out of this."  He turned to Cologne.  "Respected Elder," he said in
parting, and walked away.  Trying to ignore the high pitched giggles and
shrieks coming from the second floor window.  *Good luck, Mousse, you'll
need it.*