Gary Kleppe wrote:

On Tue, 19 Aug 1997 23:34:42 -0500, Keener <otakunxs@bellsouth.net>
wrote:

	First of all, thanks for the time you spent reading and critiquing, I'm
afraid that this and another post was all the nibbles I got. <sigh> MUST
work harder! MUST write better! MUST learn to SPELLCHECK!!!

<snip>

doing. She's already destroyed the house three times with just the one,
the woman has no control."

The

	Not really a matter of capatalization, but of knowing when to start a
new sentance. I remember one of my prereaders telling me that I had
possibly the worst tendency to do this of anyone she had ever read for.
A problem of EPIC proprotions I think she said, or maybe that was me.

      "Listen little princess, I'll have you know I've been doing this a good
millenium before you were even a gleam in your mother's eye. I have

millennium

	Really? My computer spell checker picked that one up... Heh, not that I
rely on that thing of course <bigsweats>
 

bowl. "Point Ayeka." she interrupted into one of Mihoshi's police
stories, something about chasing Cabbits down holes and eating mushrooms
to get bigger, just what she needed, thought the first class detective,
MORE Mihoshi.

Oh dear, that WOULD be a problem, wouldn't it? (Pay no attention, just
trying out my Mihoshi imitation here. :))

	More breast, less brain, ^_-

      Ryoko's normally pale features flared under the red of her face as she
gritted her teeth. "Having reached puberty does NOT make one old.
Besides, I told you what I need was my other Gem. If you want me to help
defend your highness' highney, I need my Gems."

I think it's "hiney", unless she's making a pun.

	Bingo! 

burying for all times the man made satellite. Strangely enough, the
space telescope had NEVER given clearer images of the moon. Sighing to

What's strange about that? :-)

	Stranger still if Washu decided to rebuild the thing and they got Voyer
scope pictures inside of the Jurian Emporer's bedroom. 
 

      "Where have you been? The Sol systems been attacked by these freaks,

system's

you can see what they did to the Moon. Just when we needed some kind of
dimensional whatsit and you're off promoting your stupid book."

She has a book?!?

	I'm working on a tie in, mayhaps even a fic, ^_-
 

      "Well, you see, it's partly my fault. Think back to a time when the
universe was younger, before Kagato, before even you. Think back to a
little girl, a super genius and exceptionally cute." Ryoko sighed as she
used the power in both her gems to lift the cube from its resting-place.
Washu crawled under and began surveying the devastation, a holographic
computer pad in hand. "Now think what happened when she accidentally
breaks open her hybrid, techn-organic Ant Farm."

D'OH!!!!!

	Oh come ON! You KNEW that was coming, it couldn't have gone any other
way, could it?
	

Not bad at all, very amusing. 

	Not bad and Very Amusing, huh? Good lord how those phrases can taste
good on a starved palate. ^_-

It seems very balanced in terms of
Ryoko/Ayeka, which is commendable given the author's known pro-Ryoko
disposition. (R 1/2 authors take note!!)

	<sigh> I STILL wanna post something Ayeka bashing, but I keep coming
back to that sweet and strange scene that I posted earlier when I was
trying to write a Tenchi story. How can I be feeling sorry for her?
<grumble><grumble>
 

Now, has anyone done Tenchi/Who? "How dare that Davros steal the credit
from a genius like me?!?" :-)

	Of course, with both Washu (and ME making sure the Tenchi power levels
are done right) and Wyrm (making sure the Paradigm and Gallaferian know
how goes right) in the same story, Revenge's End, well, that's just the
tip of the iceburg, I assure you.
 
	Thanks again!