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      I'm not back on the FFML yet due to ISP problems.

Episode 1 - No Need For Fantasies

     "Combing the snakes in his head,
      Reading a book in his bed,
      Getting ready for the night to begin,
      Waiting for daylight to end.

      In this court of law,
      This court of common pleas,
      The crimes that you committed
      You claim were only a dream.

      Everyone has the same dreams
      On different days of the week.
      We are the watchdogs of your mind;
      We are the dream police."
        -- "The Dream Police", David Byrne


(Note: This series of stories is tentatively set at an undeter mined
point during the Tenchi TV continuity. However, there are a few
plot-critical references to OAV#7, "The Night Before the Carnival"
(which isn't part of the TV continuity), and the Tenchi Soundfile
Video (which might or might not be, I don't know)). 


"Jeez, will they ever lay off?" groaned Tenchi as he sat down wearily
on his bed, yawned, and began to undress. It seemed lately that his
houseguests were giving him no rest and even less privacy. Just this
afternoon Washuu had insisted on trying to extract something called an
"inverse-astral post-coital emission sample," which somehow entailed
exactly the same thing as the last dozen or so "samples" Washuu had
tried to get from him. He'd escaped again, but barely. He might not be
so lucky next time. Well, starting tomorrow, it would be someone
*else's* job to fetch Washuu at meal times. He'd been quite adamant
with his dad about that. 

His only regret was a twinge of curiosity about the costumes. After
apparently becoming bored with the nurse's outfit, Washuu had tried a
string of others: schoolteacher, O.L., airline stew ardess ("coffee,
tea, or FULL INTERCOURSE?"), and a few Tenchi preferred not to
remember. It would have been interesting to see what she'd come up
with next, but finding out definitely wasn't worth the risk.

Ryoko was, in her own way, even worse. At least he only really needed
to worry about Washuu when he visited her lab. Ryoko could turn up
*anywhere*. Especially when he was bathing, or using the toilet, or
undressing... Tenchi quickly glanced around the room and sighed with
relief on not seeing Ryoko's head poking out of the ceiling, the
floor, or one of the walls. That morning she'd popped up ("O-hayo,
Tenchi!") while he'd been urinating, result ing in him having to clean
both his pants and the bathroom floor.

And whenever Ryoko appeared, Aeka was sure to turn up momen tarily,
with the usual apocalyptic results. At least she didn't sneak up on
him and grab him. She was much too shy and demure, too well-mannered
and proper, to do that. Well-mannered and proper, at least, until
Ryoko made her angry. Then her tongue turned acid, and the gentle
princess' violence matched that of the space pirate she hated so much.

Well, it's not *all* bad, Tenchi thought, kicking off his pants.
They're all kawaii in their own ways. The prospect of romantic
involvement with any one of them was appealing, if they'd just give
him room to breathe, stop fighting over him, and let him proceed at
his own pace. Ryoko, Aeka, or Mihoshi, definitely. Kiyone was
appealing since she *wasn't* (or didn't appear to be) interested in
him. Even Washuu would be OK if she didn't treat him like a lab rat.
Mostly Ryoko and Aeka, though. Not necessar ily in that order. And not
necessarily *not* in that order.

He wished Ryoko wouldn't scare him quite so much.

He wished Aeka wouldn't seem quite so unreachable.

He wished that the feelings they professed to have for him actually
did exist.

He wished they'd stop fighting and hurting each other because of him.

*Don't be a BAKA, Tenchi. None of those will ever happen.*

With a heavy sigh, Tenchi grabbed a box of tissues and began to
masturbate, letting his mind drift...

Tenchi stands naked as Kiyone yanks his arms roughly behind him and
handcuffs him. Meanwhile, Mihoshi bends down in front of him,
squeezing and pulling on his penis. "As an officer of the Galaxy
Police, I must check to see if you are using this to transport drugs,
weapons, or other substances illegal in this sector."

Kiyone groans, exasperated. "Mihoshi, you *know* you can't check
properly unless the suspect's penis is erect." 

"Well, how do we make it become erect?" 

Kiyone face-faults. "Weren't you paying attention when they explained
this at the Academy? Oh, never mind. Use visual stimu lation." 

Mihoshi blinks. "What?" 

"Strip and play with yourself!" 

Mihoshi quickly sheds her clothes, tossing the various pieces of her
uniform in random directions. Reclining directly in front of Tenchi,
she cups her breasts in her hands and kneads them slowly, massaging
her rather impressive bust while her eyes remain fixed on Tenchi's
cock. Seeing it begin to stiffen, she licks her lips seductively and
moves one hand down between her legs. Mihoshi moans softly as she rubs
her clit. With her other hand she begins tweaking her hard nipple
while continuing to squeeze her breast. "Oohhhh! Ohhhh! Ohhhhh! I
think Ohhhh!! that he's becoming Ohhhh!!! erect now, Kiyone...."

Kiyone bends down and looks at Tenchi's cock skeptically, then shakes
her head. "Regulations specify a rigidity factor of at least 95%.
Looks like I'll have to help you out with this..." Moving with
graceful precision, Kiyone removes her uniform, carefully folding each
article of clothing, and placing them in a neat pile. Then she gets
down on all fours and buries her face in Mihoshi's crotch while
placing her own directly above Mihoshi's head. Kiyone arches her back
and gasps as she feels her partner's mouth begin to eat out her pussy,
then returns the favor, still careful to give Tenchi a clear view of
her tongue lapping at Mihoshi's blond-thatched cunt. Mihoshi writhes
and moans. For several minutes their mutual cunnilingus (or is that
Kiyonelingus?) fills the air with soft cooing, loud slurping, and a
thick scent of female sexual fluids. Looking up again, Kiyone eyes
Tenchi's penis and grins.

It's incredibly hard.

"OK, he's erect enough now," she announces. Reluctantly she and
Mihoshi disentangle themselves, then move over to kneel on either side
of Tenchi. Carefully, they run their fingers over his cock and balls.

"Yeah, something's definitely in there," decides Kiyone. "We'll have
to do a more thorough inspection to be sure, though." At that, Mihoshi
grips his cock firmly and begins to stroke, while Kiyone massages his
balls. After a few moments, they switch, then switch back, then switch
again. 

"Oooh! Look what's coming out!"  exclaims Mihoshi. A drop of thick,
pearly liquid has appeared on the tip of Tenchi's penis. Kiyone leans
forward and licks the fluid away, then takes the glans in her mouth
for just a moment. Withdrawing, she briefly contemplates the taste.
Then her face becomes a stern mask of anger.

"Just as I suspected! Do you know what the penalty is for smug gling
contraband sperm into the Solar system?" She licks the traces of it
from her fingers, then turns to Mihoshi. "We'll have to confiscate
this semen as evidence." 

"But we don't have anything to put it in." 

"Standard operating procedure calls for oral extraction and
containment in these cases." 

"Uhhh... what?" 

"Suck him off and spit the cum out when we get back to the ship!" 

"Oh. OK, Kiyone..." Together they force Tenchi onto the ground. Then
Mihoshi crawls between his legs and runs the tip of her tongue all
around the rim of his glans. Her lips encircle his cock firmly as it
slides into her mouth. Tenchi gasps as Mihoshi begins sucking with
eager abandon, and Kiyone straddles his face.

Engrossed in his fantasy, Tenchi didn't hear the soft knock at his
door. "Tenchi-sama, I thought you'd like some tea," said Aeka as she
slid the door open.

Tenchi lay naked on his bed, eyes shut, jacking his stiff penis in his
hand.

Aeka blushed deep pink, then scarlet, then purple. "Tenchi- sama...!"
she gasped under her breath, unable to tear her eyes away. Slowly she
set the cup of steaming tea down on Tenchi's desk and continued to
watch, mesmerized.

"Wow, look at him go!" said Ryoko softly. Aeka cringed and looked to
her left where the hated voice had come from. Ryoko's cyan-tressed
head protruded through the door. With a rush Ryoko swooped through the
door towards Tenchi. Desperately Aeka grabbed for her and managed to
drag her out of the room by her hair. Quickly and quietly she shut the
door as Tenchi continued, obliv ious to their intrusion...

"I think we'll start your punishment early..." Kiyone's legs squeeze
like a vise around Tenchi's head. "Lick my pussy, crimi nal!" she
demands. Tenchi complies, inexpertly applying his tongue and lips to
her clit and labia. Kiyone's crotch muffles his groan as Mihoshi
deep-throats him. She giggles as his pubic hair tickles her nose.
Kiyone tightens her legs even harder. Mihoshi continues to
enthusiastically suck Tenchi's cock. He can't hold back much longer.
Suddenly Kiyone starts gasping and pushing her crotch roughly against
his head. Mihoshi gives his cock one last extra-hard suck. Tenchi
nearly blacks out as he spews his cum into her mouth. Mihoshi doesn't
stop blowing him, though, her head continuing to bob, her warm lips
still sliding up and down his cock, until Tenchi's load is spent.
Mihoshi begins licking the cum from his knob, giggles, and gulps.
Kiyone stiffens and stops in mid-moan.

"Mihoshi, you *didn't*..." 

"Oops..." 

"YOU SWALLOWED THE EVIDENCE!!" 

"Sorry...."

Meanwhile, Aeka had dragged Ryoko outside to have a private argument.
She had no intention of embarrassing herself in front of the other
girls. Stopping in a clearing, Aeka let go of Ryoko's hair and opened
her mouth to speak.

But Ryoko spoke first. "So, is that the first time you've seen it?"
she asked with a conspiratorial wink.

"S-s-seen what?" stammered Aeka, looking away and twiddling her
fingers.

"*I've* seen it before. Lots of times. Just this morning, as a matter
of fact," mused Ryoko dreamily. "I wonder what he was fantasizing
about us doing..."

"What do you mean, 'us'?" demanded Aeka shrilly. "Tenchi-sama wouldn't
be interested in a bimbo demon-woman like you!"

"Better me than a flat-chested frigid princess I could name," growled
Ryoko, thrusting her chest in Aeka's direction. "I hear they're doing
wonders with implants these days, though."

"More than a handful is a tongue-sprainer... uh, I mean, don't change
the subject! I won't have you spying on Tenchi-sama!"

"You went in first."

"That's not the point! It's not right to intrude on Tenchi-sama when
he's... he's..."

"Masturbating?" finished Ryoko. "Jacking off? Beating his meat?
Dreaming of having intense passionate sex all night long with his true
love the space pirate Ryoko whom he insatiably lusts after?"

"No! I mean, yes! I mean..."

"You know, I meant what I said that time -- about letting you go
first. Care to take me up on it?"

Aeka blushed again. "N-n-no, it's not right. Tenchi-sama and I aren't
ready for that, yet. There are... Juraian customs and ceremonies to be
seen to, and we're much too young, and..."

"ARGHHH!!! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?!?!" snarled Ryoko. "You don't need all
that! At least, *I* don't. What's wrong with wanting to sleep in the
arms of the man you love? Next you'll be saying he has to undergo some
kind of 'Jurai Royal Family Bridegroom Train ing', or something." Aeka
gulped, cringed, and looked away for a moment. When she turned back,
Ryoko had moved much, much closer. 

"Is it that you're afraid of doing it with a man?" Ryoko asked, her
voice low and sultry. She gently brought her hand to rest on Aeka's
thigh, while her lips moved past Aeka's face to whisper in her ear.
"Is *that* the kind of girl you are, little princess?" Aeka shivered
as a wild ripple of fear and... something else... ran through her,
then backed up nervous and sweating as Ryoko laughed. She paused to
gather up her resolve, then glared and pointed an accusing finger at
Ryoko. 

"If you *really* loved Tenchi, you'd be willing to wait until the time
was right."

"And if *you* loved Tenchi, you wouldn't want to leave him alone with
just his hand." 

"Slut!" 

"Pricktease!"

Tenchi sneezed and shot his load into the wad of tissue and rested for
a moment before getting up and depositing it in the waste basket. He
felt just a little embarrassed at the thoughts he had just been
having, but only for a moment. Just so long as he could keep a
straight face next time he ran into Kiyone or Mihoshi. As he went back
to his bed, his ear caught the sound of a distant explosion. 

Dreading what he'd find, Tenchi looked out the window. As ex pected,
bright flashes of red and blue lit the forest at irregu lar intervals,
each followed by a faint boom or crash a few seconds later. "They're
at it *again*! Don't they ever stop?"

With an exasperated shake of his head, Tenchi picked up the cup of tea
on his desk, sat down in the chair, and began to sip. Then he paused
and frowned for a moment. "How did this get here?" he wondered out
loud. "Oh, well, it doesn't matter." 

A very bright red flash came from the woods, followed by a loud
"BOOM!" and what sounded like a tree falling. Several bursts of blue
glare and cracks like thunder answered in rapid succession. Glancing
over his shoulder at the window for a moment, he turned back to his
desk and picked up a daruma doll.

"Might as well do this now, while I'm thinking about it." 

He put a CD into the stereo. The sound of Namie Amuro's "Don't Wanna
Cry" in the foreground masked the distant explosions from the woods
just a little. Then he opened a bottle of black paint, picked up a
brush, and patiently filled in one of the eyes of the doll. When it
was done, he set it back on his desk, next to a stack of videotapes
and some course catalogs for various univer sities. 

Shiga Polytechnic, since he'd always liked the area around Lake Biwa.
Tokyo Metropolitan, just for the heck of it. And the Nekomi Institute
of Technology. He'd heard they had an interesting car club.

He finished the tea, turned out the light, and lay down to sleep. As
he drifted off, the sounds of battle continued unabated.

Tenchi wondered which one he'd dream of this time.

Or which *ones*. It was usually that way.


Preview of Next Episode: No Need For Breakfast

The birds outside sang to greet the warm sun as its rays streamed down
through the window above Tenchi's bed. But even as the dawn shed a
friendly glow, a sinister shadow lurked and watched. With swift,
predatory grace the dark menacing shape drew nearer. Unsuspecting,
Tenchi slept on. The hunter rose, preparing to strike, and gazed down
at him with hungry yellow eyes.


Hassheen!