Hmm. This sorta combines a few things I was working on- 
Much thanks to Rose Argent for sending this song to YSML. 
"This song" is _Face to Face_ by Souxsie and the Banshees- the last track
on the Batman Returns CD, I believe.
Also, Kristin- read till the end, and then you know that you must write
more _A Crack on the Wall_... ne? Tho after Akira's Bday...

A Last Touch: By Monica Shin

I sigh as I look at myself in the foggy bathroom mirror. I'm still wet from
my shower, but why should I bother grabbing a towel? It's almost time...
and yet I can't help remembering back.

[Face to face
        my lovely foe]

"Subaru-kun... what would Hokuto-chan say if she saw you like this?"
Glaring back at him with hatred in my eyes, I had tried not to flinch as he
came near me-

[Mouth to mouth
        raining heaven's blows]

Like the last time, he had grabbed my hand. 
Knowing that they bore the marks of his hunt, he smiled up at me and put
his lips on the center of the invisible stamp...

[Hand on heart
        tic tac toe]

I tore myself away quickly, but both he and I felt that moment of
hesitation. That moment when my inner self had rebelled against the truth.

[Under the stars
        naked as we flow]

For a timeless second, I had looked at him as I had done so long ago. Not
as Sakurazukamori, but as Seishirou-san... no, not even that- as my love. 
My soul laid bare...

[Cheek to cheek
        the bitter sweet]

But I pulled away- in shame, in fear, only to have him capture my chin in
his grasp. Moving close to me, he put his lips almost against my ear. 
Warm breath against my skin...

[Commit your crime in your deadly time]

"Don't tell me you still feel something toward me, Subaru-kun..."
His touch was so live, so real. So unlike the dreams that haunt my nights...
"Toward your beloved sister's murderer?" 

[Commit your crime in your deadly time]

"Don't tell me this is still what you want..."
His lips brushed my ear for only a moment. 
Only a second in an infinity of instants, it burned at the shields
protecting my fragile heart.

[It's too divine
        I want to bend]

His gentle laughter was too caring, too sweet. What right did he have to
sound so...
Why couldn't I pull away...

[I want this bliss but something says I must resist]

Closing my eyes as his lips move toward mine, I leaned against him. 
Weak flesh, weak heart, weak mind...

[Another life
        another time]

I could hear myself as a naive child, speaking a truth that had shattered
once it met reality. 
/"I was afraid Seishirou-san would hate me... All the time I was crying out
of fear... I was in love with Seishirou-san..."/

[We're Siamese twins writhing intertwined]

Remembered what came next. Remembered though I didn't want to remember...
/"It seems the time has come to settle our bet..."/

[Face to face
        no telling lies]

Opening eyes that had closed in surrender, I forced myself away from that
illusion. 
Still eye to eye, I let myself see.

[The masks they slide to reveal a new disguise]

I let myself see all of it for just an instant before I hid it from myself,
from him.
An answer. 
So simple, and yet somehow, it had never occurred to me, truly. Except in
my darkest nightmares, I had always known I had a task...

[You never can win
        it's the state I'm in]

He smiled at me again with a bit of calculated puzzlement in his eyes.
Perhaps he had thought that I was about to play... 
I smiled back at him in a quiet way, and saw the puzzlement turn into a
reality.

[This danger thrills and my conflict kills]

My smile deepened as I turned from him deliberately, presenting my back to
him in careless disregard of an enemy.

[They say follow your heart
        follow it through]

Seeing the one I remembered from my younger days appear in the guise of a
somewhat flustered Seishirou-san, my smile slipped for a moment.

[But how can you
        when you're split in two?]

Only a moment... only a moment to remember my own younger self, about to be
destroyed by what I must do.

[And you'll never know]

I calmed my heart, my mind. Only one thing had been holding me back- only
one thing, truly. I knew that he had to die, that he had to be stopped. But
I couldn't condone murder, couldn't let myself become him...
Couldn't let myself become Sakurazukamori and betray everything I had once
held as dear as my own life.

[You'll never know]

I turned back to face him, one last time. Knowing he couldn't see...  He
had underestimated me, perhaps... 
No. 
He had not. He had not underestimated the Subaru that had existed a mere
hour ago.

[One more kiss
        before we die]

Walking up to him, close enough so that he must be suppressing the urge to
strike out against one too near, I let my hand caress his cheek as I
lightly touched my lips to his.

[Face to face
        and dream of flying]

Soaring in my heart at the promise kept, I pulled back. 
Once... I had done it once of my own will, of my own love. No more regrets.

[Who are you?
        who am I?]

"Sakurazukamori. It is time to finish this."
"Subaru-kun... in such a hurry to die?"

[Wind in wings
        two angels falling]

I smiled at him one last time, before I reached deep into myself. 
A kiss of love. A kiss of death. 
I unleashed it, my secret, and saw the shock in his eyes as he felt his
shields crack at the touch of one mere shikigami.

[To die like this
        with a last kiss]

"Seishirou-san. You should be more careful of who you let so close to your
defenses."
A final nail in my old life.
He gazed up at me, and his lips curled in a smile. 
"At last you are worthy of the burden, Subaru-kun..."

[It's falsehood's flame
        it's a crying shame]

Kneeling at his side, I laughed. Then, reaching over, I wiped the flecks of
blood from his mouth.
He gazed at me for a brief time, and told me a final thing. A final gift to
his enemy and successor.
"I never loved you."

[Face to face
        the passions breathe]

Looking down at him, I nodded.
"I know."
I leaned over and gave him another kiss to finish it.
As I saw the light fade from his eyes, I answered in my own way.
"I never loved you either."

[I hate to stay but then I hate to leave]

I laugh at myself, at this monster I see in the mirror. The monster created
because I know I can exterminate it...
I still myself as I feel the tugging- the bindings to the cherry tree that
is now my master. To that thing which has bestowed upon me a new identity,
a new life. 
Death-Giver. Assassin. 
A new life from death... but it will never reach me. 
Never.

[And you'll never know]

Finally, I can. 
I must- now. 
Before it gets too strong for me to break, this already ever-present
connection... 
I look at my ceremonial knife- clean, pure. A sad thing to use for such a
purpose, but it has a feeling of rightness to it. 
It should be used to purify such a thing as me.
"Seishirou-san... did you even guess, what I would do after?"
Could he have known why I was able to do what I had done?

[You'll never know . . .]

As the knife cuts down my arm, I feel the sharp pain of life. Hot blood
drains into the sink below, and I let myself lean against the wall even more. 
Darkness is falling, and I smile again.
Slipping away into eternity, I can't be sad. One way or another, I couldn't
survive in this world.
It's numb... almost dreamlike...
But there is no light for me.
"Did you even guess my last words to you were a lie?"

---Finis---

-----
Monica/Akira-chan/Heero/Hayama/Naga/Kircheis no Miko- Proud TABBE! Member
monica@pipeline.com - http://www.pipeline.com/~monica/- DOWN UNTIL SEPT 1
Loves- CLAMP, LoGH, MB, RKen, Z/B, Gundam, EVA, KoDoCha, RoV, Subby, Seig
"Tell Annerose-sama that Sieg kept his promise..." - Kircheis-sama
"Watashi no Andre?" Oscar Francois de Jarjeyes