>From There to Here
by George Masologites
guilds@mail.serve.com [Hunter Kid]
http://www.serve.com/guilds/ranma/
(c) 08/15/1997  All Rights Reserved

Introduction

There's a fair number of these Revengefics going around, so I thought I'd
add mine to the pile. ;)  By the way, 'Jei' is pronounced simply 'jee' and
means 'lucky' in Chinese, and yes, that is my Chinese name.

[Insert legal jargon here.]

>From There to Here
A Ranma 1/2 Revengefic...
...in a single chapter!  (Quite an accomplishment for me.)

[Atlanta, Georgia.]

    The night was a pleasant one.  Not too hot, and not too cold, with a
soft, pleasant breeze blowing through the velvety darkness and a beautiful
banner of stars overhead that one could lose oneself in, pretending to live
their dreams.
    Quite a magnificent effect.
    Of course, there's always those ungrateful folks who just refuse to
enjoy pleasant nights like this one, and from the sound of typing coming
from inside a mid-sized house, it was a safe bet to say that someone was
wasting a perfectly beautiful night glued to the monitor.
    Sure enough, in front of a large desktop computer sat a young man
busily pounding on the keys.  He was a fairly ordinary looking Chinese - or
at least partially Chinese - boy, perhaps 14 or 15 years of age, with a
short mop of brown-black hair that hung down near his eyes and dark brown
eyes shaped like almonds.  He didn't appear to be particularly muscular,
but had a certain appearance of wiry strength about him, and he was dressed
in what appeared to be workout clothing - or lack or it.  He was wearing a
pair of dark grey sweat pants and soft black Chinese slippers; the only
other visible article of clothing he wore was a wood beaded wristlet.
While hardly handsome, he wasn't overly bad to look at, either.
    The young man had an intense look of concentration on his face as he
keyed in text, watching it appear on the screen with a satisfied grin.  He
looked fairly relaxed as he glanced over to the printer, waiting for it to
start printing.
    However, as he had heard numerous times before, being relaxed and
off-guard simply invited trouble.  Unfortunately for him, he never heeded
these warnings, and therefore  couldn't restrain a little goggling as
someone stepped out of his chimney, tripped over his stereo system, and
landed with a grunt on the floor.
    The fellow who had just exited the chimney stood up, and brushed
himself off with an irritated look on his face.  He was dressed in an
unusual manner - a sleeveless, travel-stained yellow jerkin and dark green
trousers, bound up tightly at the calves with yellow cord.  Also of note
was a yellow-and-black bandanna that was wrapped tightly around his head.
    "Erm..."  The young man who was sitting in front of the computer groped
about for coherent speech.  "H-hi," he managed, cocking his head curiously
at the new arrival.  He was -sure- he knew this man from someplace, but he
couldn't quite place it...
    The bandanna-wearing fellow only scowled at him, showing a pair of
canine fangs.  Something clicked in the other boy's head, and his eyes
opened a little wider.  "Ryo-" he paused, hesitating.  No, he thought to
himself.  It can't be Ryoga.  He's just an anime character, after all.
"Er..." he stammered instead, looking confused.  "Who are you?"
    The bandannaed young man pulled himself up with some resemblance of
dignity.  "Hibiki Ryoga," he stated shortly.  "And I believe you are
familiar with me," he added, growling ominously.
    "H-Hibiki Ryoga?"  The young man almost fell out of his chair.  Sure,
he had kind of suspected it, but...  "Hah!"  He sat back up, snorting
derisively.  "Ryoga's just an anime character.  How gullible do you think I
am?"  He poked a finger at the bandannaed boy's chest.  "Is this another
one of Andrew's idiot jokes?  I warned him..."
    "Trust me," Ryoga rumbled, scowling, "you really don't want to start
something with me."  He raised his hand, a glowing sphere radiating
ominously from it.
    "Urk..."  The other boy tried to grasp the words.  "You mean you really
-are- Ryoga?"
    Ryoga snorted.  "Yes, for the last time.  Now, care to tell me your
name, kid?"
    The other young man couldn't help but flinch at this, wishing to
himself that he'd never made up 'Hunter Kid' as his Internet handle.
"Geo-" he started to say, but then stopped himself.  If this -was- really
Ryoga, it would make more sense to give his oriental name.  "...Tsang Jei,"
he finished, a little awkwardly.  It suddenly occured to him that Ryoga was
speaking English, but he squelched the thought with a minor frown.
    The young man in front of the computer, Jei, looked about curiously as
he heard the sound of footsteps coming from the hallway.  "Who's there?"
He demanded, annoyed.
    "Ryoga!"  A slightly irritated voice was calling out.  Jei looked
thoughful; he was sure he had heard that voice before.  A figure entered...
    ...pretty, fairly tall, and with a long mane of nut-brown hair, and a
spatula strapped to her back.
    "N-no way," Jei muttered.  "Ukyou?"  He asked hesitantly.  Suddenly his
gaze grew for surprised to very...fixed.  Fixed on Ukyou's chest, anyway.
    Ukyou glowered darkly at him.  "And what do you think -you're- staring
at?"  She asked, with a gaze that said hurtful things would soon befall him
if he didn't tear his eyes away from her chest.
    "Ranma doesn't know how good he's got it," Jei was babbling, a
ridiculously happy - and envious - look on his slender-boned face.  A clunk
on the head with a large spatula brought him back to reality, though he
still was looking at Ukyou with a mixture of awe and undisguised lust.
    Ukyou looked extremely annoyed.  "That's what we're here to see you
about, Jei," she began.  "You've stated on numerous occasions that me and
Ryoga here are your favorite two characters, right?"
    Jei nodded, trying to retain a semblance of his own dignity and failing
rather miserably.  "H-hai," he stuttered.
    Ukyou took on a menacing look.  "Then how come I never get Ran-chan,
huh?"  She demanded with a grip on the spatula that told Jei he was
probably in for another smack to the head.
    "Yeah," Ryoga added.  "And how come I never end up with Akane?"
    Jei coughed.  "Er..."  He managed to find his voice just before Ukyou
would have smashed him.  "Well, I think that you two are perfect together,
so why waste either of you on Ranma or Akane?"
    "Don't say that about Ran-chan," Ukyou growled, fuming slightly.
    "Or Akane," Ryoga added in, his hand flexing in a way that spoke of
much pain that could very well be on its way.
    "It's the truth!"  Jei protested, folding his arms across his chest.
"Ukyou, you love Ranma, and he treats you like dirt!  Ryoga, you always are
really nice to Akane, but she doesn't love you in -that- way..."  he
trailed off nervously, noticing that Ryoga was about to clobber him.
    To his infinite gratefulness, Ukyou stopped Ryoga before he struck.  
    "So..."  Ukyou said, smiling nastily.  "What're you printing there?"
She began to walk over to the printer, and Jei hurriedly imposed himself in
front of her.
    "Ah..."  Jei chuckled in a high, nervous voice.  It was a very
unconvincing chuckle.  "N-nothing," he stammered, a hand behind his head.
"Certainly not lemon fics or anything!"
    "Of course not."  Ukyou smiled in what could only be considered a very
evil manner.  "Anyway, that's not the main reason we're here."
    Jei looked relieved.  "It isn't?"
    "No."  Ukyou motioned to Ryoga, a gesture which Jei either didn't
notice or wasn't bright enough to take note of.  "We came here to help you
out, actually."
    "Help me?"  Jei looked suspicious.  "How?"
    "Silly," Ukyou pinched his cheek, which he rubbed irritatedly.  "You
fanfic authors always write those stupid self-insertion fics, so we're here
to return the favor.  What was yours called?"  She clicked with the mouse a
few times.  "Oh yeah, it was 'Experiences,' wasn't it?"
    "Erm...h-hai."
    "You haven't released this, I guess?"
    Jei shrugged.  "It's not finished."
    "Fairly cliche, too," Ukyou noted, reading the short two pages over
with a searching eye.  "You even gave yourself the Nyanniichuan curse.  How
typical."
    "Hey," Jei stated blandly, "that was to help the plotline along."
    Ukyou smiled suggestively at him.  "Oh?  Are you -sure- about that,
now?"  She poked him in the ribs.  "Wouldn't it interest you to be a girl?
Just to see what it's like?"
    Jei seemed to wither under her stare, but managed a firm voice,
nonetheless.  "Of course not!"  He replied indignantly and just a little
too quickly.  
    "Yes, of course not," Ukyou teased him, smirking.  "How about what you
said on the Ranma mailing list?"
    Jei grimaced.  "Er...well, okay, I guess I would be a -little-
curious...but still, I wouldn't want to be cursed for real.  That was just
a plot device."
    "Oh?"  Ukyou winked at him.  "Are you positive?  I noticed you gaping
at me earlier.  Wouldn't it be nice to have a female body of your very -own-?"
    Jei was once again staring at her chest.  "Hehehe..."  he snickered
nervously, entranced by the beautiful sight before him.  "For you, Ukyou,"
he proclaimed dramatically, "I'd do -anything-!"  He gave a slightly
psychotic cackle as he latched onto Ukyou's chest, giggling inanely all the
while.
    Ukyou didn't protest, much to his surprise, and instead motioned to
Ryoga, who made a brief motion with his hands, and a bucket of ice-cold
water landed on Jei.  "I'm glad you agreed," Ukyou said, smirking.  She
shoved Jei away from her chest.  "We're not allowed to do stuff like that
without your permission, you know."
    Jei appeared to be snapped back to reality.  "Er...permission?  For
what?"  Jei asked suspiciously, apparently not noticing the bucket of water.
    Ukyou rolled her eyes.  "Bonehead," she muttered in an irritated voice.
 She looked up to Jei, motioning to the chest area.  "Check yourself."
    Jei looked down at his chest.  -Her- chest.  And looked more than
slightly stunned for a second as she poked her sizable breasts
experimentally.  "Gak..."  She stammered, looking as if she was going to
faint.  "W-w-w-what did you -do-?"  She wailed, wide-eyed.  
    "Nyanniichuan," Ryoga remarked.  He grinned, patting the now shorter
Jei on the head.  "You know, you make quite a sexy woman, Tsang Jei.  I
wouldn't have guessed it from your looks as a man."
    Jei looked incapable of speech at the moment, so Ukyou cut in, showing
Jei her new reflection in the glinting silvery surface of the spatula.  Jei
looked at herself and gaped.  "Oh my God," she said in a disbelieving
voice.  "I think I'm in love with myself."
    Ukyou smiled.  "Okay, down to business.  We're here to improve your life."
    Jei tore herself back to the real world.  "Improve my life?"  She edged
nervously away from Ukyou.  "You just changed me into a woman...and you're
trying to improve my life?"
    Ryoga muttered something about revenge, and Ukyou smiled sweetly and
elbowed him, effectively shutting him up.  "Yes," Ukyou said flatly.
"Frankly, you just aren't having any luck with girls.  You haven't had a
date since...what, May?"
    Jei scowled.  "Yeah, so?  You think I'm going to have better luck
getting chicks -as- a chick?"  She pointed to her breasts, looking severely
unhappy.
    "Of course not."  Ukyou chuckled.  "Since you don't have any luck with
girls, I thought maybe you'd hit it off pretty good with a guy.  You don't
even have to do anything; just wait for them to come to you."
    The newly transformed Jei practically had steam coming out of her ears.
 "Now you just hold on a second there!"  She stated, glaring.  "I am -not-
gay."
    "You will be if you don't like boys."
    "Oh no you don't.  I know this stuff doesn't affect your mind."  She
smiled in a slightly triumphant manner.
    Ryoga jabbed a finger at her.  "Speaking of which, why do you always
insist on giving me the Nyanniichuan curse in your stupid fanfics?"
    Jei chuckled nervously.  "I don't suppose you'd believe it's because I
think you'd be sexy as a woman?"
    Ryoga gave a laugh that practically dripped with contempt.  "The
Nyanniichuan water turns anyone into a -beautiful- female version of
themselves.  Obviously so, considering that you're...quite desirable just
now."
    Jei glared at him.  "No it doesn't.  It changes you into the girl who
drowned there."
    The fanged boy smirked.  "Give it a rest.  I know that was just a plot
device you used in that 'Ryoga 1/2' story to make it more 'interesting.'"
He paused, frowning.  "What's the deal pairing me up with that Ryako chick,
anyway?"
    "I didn't 'pair you up with her,'" Jei retorted indignantly.  "She's
just training you.  I'm surprised your thick head can even understand
magic, let alone use it."  She was looking increasingly annoyed.  "And for
turning me into a girl, I'm going to write about a hundred different
self-insertion lemon yaoi darkfics, all centering around you and onna-Ranma
making out together.  And, of course, I get Uky..."  He trailed off,
looking nervously at the figure behind him, who was towering with fury.
    "You get -who-?"  Ukyou fumed.  "What in the world makes you think I
want a litle jackass hentai like you, anyway?"
    "Denial," Jei smirked, dodging a blow from her huge spatula nimbly,
making a face at her.  "You mean you don't want this beautiful woman's body
I've been endowed with?"  She laughed a bit, easily evading the furious
spatula blows.
    Ukyou finally stopped attacking, panting hard.  "H-how did you dodge
those?"
    Jei grinned.  "Oh, that's easy.  I just took Don Wang's advice and made
it so you kind of stink at fighting."  She laughed, making a mental note to
thank Don.  "Besides, I haven't been in training for seven years for
nothing, you know.  Ow!"  
    Ryoga snorted, pulling his umbrella from where it had smashed into
Jei's somewhat thick skull.  "You need to train more, then, kid," he noted,
smirking dryly.
    Jei rubbed his head.  "Anyway, I thought you idiots were here to make
my life better.  So far you've managed to change my gender, and insult my
fanfiction."
    Ukyou gave a mirthful grin.  "Speaking of which, you don't seem
particularly distraught at your curse.  Shouldn't you be wailing about how
'fate is cruel' and stuff?"
    "Nah."  Jei grinned broadly, revealing fangs not unlike Ryoga's.
"Actually, it's kind of cool.  Haven't you ever wondered what it would be
like to be a -man-, Ukyou?"
    Ukyou scowled.  "Of course not," she denied vehemently.
    "Oh.  Too bad, because I wrote a fanfic where you turn into a man..."
    Ukyou fumed.
    "...you're in love with Ryoga..."
    Ukyou charged.
    "...and you don't fight with a spatula!"
    Ukyou smashed Jei over the head with the battle spatula, sending the
smaller girl down for the count.  "Hmph!"  Ukyou snorted, watching Jei
clamber back to her feet noisily.
    "That hurt!"  Jei declared, and suddenly put on a cute, unconvincing
little show of girlishness.  "Ukyou, how could you hit a defenseless little
girl like that?  How cruel!"
    Ryoga poked Jei's breasts experimentally.  "Little girl, eh?"  He
mused.  "I think not."  Jei growled and slammed his head into the ground.
    "Hentai," she grunted sourly.
    Ukyou burst out laughing.  "You're one to talk, Jei," she taunted.
    "Why you..."
    Ukyou motioned to Ryoga, shrugging.  "C'mon, Ryoga, our work here is
done.  Ta ta, Jei-chan!"  
    Jei shouted angrily, charging, but it was too late.  Ukyou and Ryoga
faded out into the their home dimension.
    "We've certainly made your life more exciting," Ukyou commented before
she faded away, mixing with Ryoga's half-cheerful, "Jya ne!"
    
[Orlando, Florida.]
    
    Doug Hoffman finished going over his email, shaking his head in utter
amazement.  His idiot friend from Georgia, Jei, was ranting about how
someone had given him a Jusenkyo curse.
    Did he honestly expect people to believe something stupid like that?
    He curiously downloaded the .gif file that came with it, revealing an
extremely attractive girl that was dressed in what appeared to be Jei's
clothes...nah.  Can't be, Doug told himself.  The guy's just got a new
girlfriend, that's all.
    And then the phone rang.
    Doug answered it.  "Hoffmans' residence," he intoned in a bored voice.
    "Yo, Doug," came a rough-edged female voice from the other end.  Sort
of scratchy, but definitely female.  To high of pitch to be male.  
    "Don't believe I know you..."  Doug left it hanging.  He didn't have a
girlfriend, after all...
    "Oh, believe me, you do!"  The girl's voice said cheerfully.  "It's me,
your old friend, Jei."
    There was sound of water being poured, and a very familiar voice came
into Doug's ear via the phone.  "See?"  It was Jei, alright.  Doug would
have recognized that mirth-filled voice anywhere.  "Told you so."  He could
almost see Jei smirking.
    "Wh-wh-wha..."  Doug couldn't manage anything coherent at the moment.
    "Did you get my email?"  Jei asked, laughing from the other end of the
phone line.  "My girl half is sexy as hell, isn't it?"
    
    Several hours later, Doug's little sister approached him about the
picture of the girl on the computer.
    "Oh, it's nothing much," Doug replied easily.  "It's just Jei.  You
remember him?  He's a girl now."

[Atlanta, Georgia.  Walton High School.]

    Andrew Peltier frowned, looking over at his friend, Jei.  Jei didn't
normally get worked up over many things, and he had adamantly refused -
with a look of horror on his face - to go through a little rainstorm to get
to Andrew's truck!
    "C'mon, man, a little rain's not going to kill you," Andrew muttered in
an irate tone.
    "I said no."
    "Why?  You going to melt?"
    Jei favored him with a withering stare.
    Andrew had had enough.  He snorted angrily and shoved Jei out the front
door of the school, into the rain.  "See?  It's not so bad..."  His voice
trailed off as he looked at Jei's now quite wet white tee shirt.  "Erk!"
    Jei's shirt was wet, and when it got wet, it was fairly see-through.
And only one thing came to Andrew's immediate notice:  Jei had breasts.  
    So Andrew did that thing people tend to do when presented with really
strange situations.
    He fainted.

[The Ranmaverse]

    Ukyou shrugged.  "Well, the guy *did* always want a more exciting life."
    Ryoga only grunted in response, and took a large bite out of his
okonomiyaki.  "Good stuff," he commented.

END

Heh heh...hoped you liked it.  I was bored, so I thought I'd write
something funny like this.  How would I *really* react to being changed
into a girl?

Honestly, I have no idea.  It's not something I care to think about, but
with fanfiction, you always get to use your weird ideas first, ne?

C&C is appreciated, and should be directed to guilds@mail.serve.com [Hunter
Kid].  If you flame me, I'm going to take the flame and shove it up
y...never mind.  No flames, though, but comments are welcomed.

That means you. :)

Zai jian!

Hunter Kid
http://www.serve.com/guilds/ranma/
guilds@mail.serve.com