Just a bit of a continuation of a it of spam-fic I wrote about a month
ago. It's ecause the real thing is on T.V.
 Will I continue it....I hope not.

Awww heck.....
 I'll even include part 1 just to be mean (or charitable - you decide.)
REMEMBER!!!!!!

 THIS is a SPAM-FIC.!!!!!
 And the world around these people is libel to change depending on my
mood, the time of day and if I feel like writing....

I never intended to write more than a silly teaser so please don't look
for to much continuity.....or spelling or grammar. And, if I DO keep
writing I may change or delete
the roles of the dramatis personi.

This thing is just so I keep writing even though I don't really feel like
writing anything "REAL"

 Special thanks for and to Lara Bartram 
for her comments on part one and of course "her" chapter in this
adventure.

                       Neil

                        
****************
From: "Robyn, Duke of Amber" <yu120475@yorku.ca>
Subject: Fanfic idea....I don't want it but somebody might....
X-Mailing-List: <fanfic@fanfic.com> archive/latest/39917


This is just a setup for an idea I had. I don't want to right it (I don't
think) but her'es an interesting idea when people think about crossovers
and movies.



Somewhere in Japan.
 Cars with big fins are the norm women wear gloves (mostly) and
unfortunately racoon skin coats and roadsters are the rage....

 Everything seems grainy and black and white but then through the magic of
authorship it comes into focus.

 (Is that Queen we hear faintly in the background???)

 The scene: an airplane at night (two propellers on the wings supported by
a small nylon string that can almost not be seen)

Chunks of flaming garbage as if tossed by giant hands streak by.
 one hits the wing and the plane begins to burn. 
 
 "I'm sorry" the stewardess says, "but we have to abandon the plane.
 The piolots will hold on as long as we can to get youy all to safety." 
 She begins to hand out parachutes to the passengers who hurl themselves
out of the slowly sinking craft. Some unfortunates are hit by flaming
rocks which fall from above.
 Finally there is only the stewardess and two passenges left. The pilots
will still try to bring their aircraft down. 
 Unfortunatly thre are only 2 'chutes left.
 
 One of the passengers speaks. "Well you guys better get goin."
 "What about you?" The other passenger asks. She is an attractive young
woman -if you like them in compact dark haired athletic packages. Her long
dark hair compliments her eyes nicely and she wears just a touch of
makeup.
 She wears a conservitive grey jacket and skirt and clutches at a small
purse.
 "Ah, I don't need one of those things." her companion replies in a
slightly boating mannner.

 The stewardess taking advantage of this converstion leaps with the other
parachute.

"And what are you going to do?" The girl askes scornfully,
 "Jump out just before the plane hits the ground?"

 "I'm a Martial Artist." he replies as if this is an answer.

 "Oh, so what? You're going to beat the pilots up and THEN crash?"
 
 He sighs. Obviously offering to stay is not going to work.
 He grabbs the bulky parachute away from the girl and begins to put it on.

 "Oh I see." she snarles "You plan on beating ME up and bailing out. Well,
Buster (a tiny joke) you've got another thing coming!"
 "I'm a Martial Artist too!"
 She plants her feet firmly on the floor of the aircraft and is about to
strike when things shift unexpectedly.
The girl (Young woman really) stumbles and falls towards he man who has
just tightened the final strap of the parachute.
 He catches her in his arms and leaps into oblivion. 

"Trust me" 

As the two clear the aircraft it is struck by another falling object and
bursts into a consuming flame.

In the darknes floating above the Earth can be heard an outgaged scream
 
 "Stop grabing me you pervert!"


                        Republic pictures and Takahashi studios
                              present:

                   Flash Saotome
               
             Starring Ranma Saotome as Ranma "Flash" Saotome
             Akane Tendo as Akane "Stop calling me Dale!" Arden
               Dr,Tofu as "Mad Scientist" Dr. Tofu.
               Kasumi Tendo as his lovely assistant.
              Nabiki Tendo as Nabiki, Princess of Mongo.
              Mousse as Mouuse leader of the Duckmen..er Hawkmen.
              Shampoo as Shampoo, Amazon and leader of the forest people. 
              Kodachi Kuno as Kodach, Other Princess of Mongo (the not
              nice one which can't be converted over to good even if she
              sees a proffit.
              Kuno Tatewaki as the Prince of Mongo, sutor to both Akane
                and the pig-tailed Amazon Ranma has enslaved.
                Happosai as"Happi the pantyless" Ruler and chief pervert
                  of Mongo.
                   (cast subject to change without notice.)
                       
End of part one.....and a new and od writng session.



 Act 2.

Note: Thoughts are either hiding in rackets "()" or have quotation
marks....but you should be able to figgure things out.

 
The lighting has changed from the sepiead lack and whites to muted
colours......Mr. Turner would still love to get his hands on it and ruin
it however....
 Things are faint and indistinct but resolve into a forest.

There is moonlight (or at least spots covered with blue gels) an
occasional fire-ball is scratched into the film when we see the sky.




 After much punching and kicking the two people hang in the straps of the
parachute.
 The Boy is looking smug. the Girl.. well, steamed.

 "See I tole ya. I know how to do stuff like this." he boasts.

 "Let me guess. You've done it a million times before?" 

 "Well actually no. but it seems pretty simple."

 "So do you." The Girl snaps.

 "Hey, quit squirmin'. You might fall."

 "Quit gropeing me and I'll stay still."

 The couple is silent untill they land in a group of trees.

 "Nice going you dope....right in the trees."

 "Oh...like I could help it..it is night...or hadn't you noticed."

 "Just shut up and get me down."

 "I figure I should tell you my name."

 "I suppose if you must. At least I'll know one when I complane about you
gropeing me to the police..."
 
 "I saved your life." The Boy says sullenly, then grins. "I'm Ranma -but
you can call me Flash."

"Charmed. The Girl replies in a dry tone. "I'm Akane. Now get me out of
this."

 Ranma gingerly lowers himself out of the harness and with some effort
manages to get down the tree.

 "O.K. now jump." He reaches out his arms.

 "Jump?"

 "Ya...I'll catch ya."

 "I don't think so. Heck. I don't even think that if a bonehead like you
COULD catch me (which I doubt.) you can't even see me."

 "Sure I can." He lied.  

 Akane let go of the 'chute straps and fell through several branches of
the large pine before hitting Ranma. He stumbled and sprawled over with
the girl on top of him. 
 For a moment they lay in the needles looking into each others' eyes.

"Ranma's got beautiful grey eyes" Akane thought.

 "She must have been chewing mint gum." He thought and wonderd if he had
the courage to kiss her.

 "Why hello." A man's voice broke their solitude.
 
 "You seem to have had some trouble." 

 The entangled pair fought quickly to free themselves from each other and
stood guiltily apart as a figure came out from the trees.

 From what they could see he was a well-built man of medeum build whose
round glasses glimmerd with what little moonlight there was."

"I'm Dr. Tofu." He said pleasantly extending his hand.

 "Hiya Doc." Ranma said. "I've heard of you. I was on the way here to see
you actually."

 "You must be...."

 "Yup." Ranma said. "My pop was supposd to cable you about things."

 "Err...yes," Tofu said. "I just didn't expect you to...um... drop in."
 
 He and Ranma laughed at this. 

 "So who's your friend?" Said the Doctor peering at Akane.

 Akane had watched the two men greeting each other with a certain
disquiet. She found the Doctor was attractive an a strong and quiet way
and although she had just met him... well he was nice....nicer than that
Ranma guy....wait a minute....

 "Ranma." She said.

 "Yea?"

 "You're Ranma Saotome." 

 "Last time I looked." he said cockily.

 "Im your fiance you idiot." She said and passed out.

                                ************

 ".....So, your father and Akane's father engaged you to be married and
you have never actually met."

 "Uh. Ya....I guess that's pretty much it."

 Ranma and the Doctor sayt at a small tale in a laboratory which seemed to
be carved out of a vast cave. Strange inventions whizzed, popped and made
girgling noises and flached with electricity.
 The Doctors' assistant - a Miss Kasumi, darted to and fro dusting here
and polishing there. Ranma got the feeling that maye she was more than his
assistant but tactfully (for once) didn't ask.

 She had just come down the iron staircase which led to the house above.

 "Akane's asleep." She said. "The poor dear was just wiped out from her
busy day."

 Tofu nodded sagely. 

 "With all this crazyness an the end of the world and stuff our Dads
decided it was time we actually met." Ranma continued his story.
"I was 'posta see you first and then fly to New York....er um Tokyo, ta
meet her."

 "You were coming here to see my invention?" Tofu asked excitedly.

 "Na, I don't no nothin about that. I'm a martial artist remember?
 I got this problem see? An my dad... well he thin's you coud do
something."

 "What is is it?" Tofu asked with intrest.

 "Ya got any cold water?" Ranma asked.

 "I could get some." Tofu said.

 "Well spash me and then tell me what ya think."

 Kasumi, ever the helpful assistant had heard this and directed a blast
from a convinient seltzer bottle at Ranma.
Her eyes widend.

"Oh my!" Kasumi said.

 Tofu stared at Ranma.
 "I can see that the Honeymoon would be interesting." He said lenses
flashing.

                                 ****


Ranma trudged up the stairs. Dr. Tofu had mentioned (well, actually 
boasted the luxuriant bath he had created with the wonders of Science.
 (in the background we can all hear Dr. Magnus Pike shouting "Science!"
After finding a bewildering number of rooms Ranma finally found the
correct one -or maybe not.
 It turned out that instead of a bath the room contained a large
pine-floored practice room -and Akane!.

 "Uh...hi." Ranma said hesitantly.

"Hello." she said brightly. "Have you come to practice too?"

 "Actually I ..."

 "You know." Akane interrupted nothing like a good old fashioned workout
to clear the mind and purify the body."
 Giving a sharp cry she brought her hand doen on a pile of boards set on
top of two blocks. The oards shatered and she let out whoosh of air.
"..And that was his stupid melon head." she muttered under her breath.

"Excuse me?" Ranma asked.

"Nothing." Akane replied.
 "So." she asked "Would you like to spar a little."

"Actually, I was just looking for the ....ah..o.k." The look in Akane's
eyes was happy and for some perverse reason he wanted to keep it that way.
(Who knows why I'dd want to keep a bosssy chick like that happy...oh
well.)
 The two Martial Artist's battled for some time and Ranma found Akane was
right -he did feel more relaxed.

 "Ahh now I feel relaxed..well almost. Hey!" She
said noticing for the first time the figure before her was quite damp. 
 "You're all wet!"
"Tell me about it." Ranma muttered and then in an unhead voice.. but then
look who's talking."

"Come on." Akane said grabbing Ranma by the hand.

 Caught off-ballance Ranma could do nothing but stumble after.
 
 "Where are we goin?"

 "To get you out of those wet things." She replied. "And give you a good
hot bath to take away the chill."
 After beginning to speak she had noticed that Ranma was shaking.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Ranma protested.

"Ah, what's the matter, afraid of a little water." Akane giggled.
 "After all we are both......There." She opened a hitherto unnoticed door
and displayed the large western style bathroom.

"Now," she said." Let me get you out of those wet things before you catch
your death."

" Somehow I think it's too late for that."  Ranma muttered. "I think
you're making a big mistake... now if you'd just let me...."

 "Of course." Akane said."You can get undressed by yourself."

She unbelted her practice gi and headed for the large shower.

 Ranma turned away.

Soon the room was filled with hot moist air which clouded and obscured
vision. 
Ranma thught about one of the motto's mounted on plaques in the laboratory
below. They were quotes of famous researchers and although he really had
no time for science he had to agree with this particulair quote.

"Hey," Akane's voice echoed musically in the room."You had better hurry
up. I don't know how much hot water Dr. Tofu has and we don't want to
waste it."

"I'm fine right here.." Ranma said.

"Nonsence." akane chided. "I'll bet you are all swearty from the workout."

"Well a little." Ranma admitted.

"Well get your butt over here." Akane laughed.

"Alright...but remember...I didn't want to." 
Ranma sighed and began to undo the fastenings on the ornate Chinese
shirt.
  
 "Mabe the world...or at least me really will be saved by steam." Ranma
thought stepping into the shower behind the girl.

Ranma scrubbed himself vigorously deliberately ignoring the form in front
of him. (Which was harder (more difficult) than he thought it would be,
Especially since that form was humming a cheery tuneless little song.

 "Hey." Akane said. "Can you do me a favor and wash my back?'

 She handed back a soapy loofa and Ranma's world took on a tight controled
focus that only martial artists can achieve.

 "That felt good." Akane said after a while. Her voice was totaly empy of
any of the previous tesnsion now.
 "O.k." She said. "Now give that to me and turn around. Your turn."

 Wordlessly Ranma did just that. Ranma had considered olting ut due to the
moisture on the floor was concerned about slipping. Instead Ranma hoped
for the best although realizing the best was probably pretty bad.
 
 Akane turned and faced... well,  a surprise. The red hair of the slim
girl was replaced by darker hair. The slim back of the young girl she
expected was replaced my the broader more musculair appearing back and
lower than that.... She looked quickly up again.
 
 "What are YOU doing here!!!??"

 Ranma turned his head slightly and resoutely looked Akane in the eyes.

 "You know the problem I was going to see the doctor about?" He asked.

 "You mean he treats people for being perverts??" Akane's voice grew
louder.
 
"No...well I don't think so. But...Um, you know that red-haired girl?"

 "Yes, and where is she..What have you done with her?"

 "Um...I'm her...she's me..that's my problem."

 "And you came in the shower with me?" 

 "I didn't want to. You made me."  Ranma was still trying to do four
things at once now. He was trying to move out of the shower without
turning. He was furtively reaching for towels he didn't remember seeing.
 He was concentrating on Akane's eyes....and maybe her shoulders...
 And, he was trying to make this all sound logical and reasonable.

 "I never made anyone do anything." Akane was like a pressure cooker now
and all the reasonable tone Ranma was using did was stoke the fires.
  "I come in here to clean off and find a pervert trying to get his hands
all over me...and not just any pervert mind you... but one who was
actually in the shower staring at me."   

Ranma finally noticed that his failure to maintain eye contact was not
entirely his fault. He couldn't make eye contact because Akane wasn't
looking at his eyes."

 "Actually." He said, his voice beginnging to fill with irritation. "That 
description might fit somebody else better than me."

 "Just what do you mean mister? Who else is here but me and you."

"Exactly." Ranma couldn't help it, his voice was filled with smugness as
he actually found a towel and began to quickly wrap it about his waist.

 "I was lookin' at yer eyes....I'm not really sure where you were lookin'"

 "WHY YOU STUPID....!!!!!!"
 
Akane's fist caught Ranma unaware. He hadn't fastened the towel yet and it
fluttered like him - helplessly to the floor.

 Kasumi drawn by the disturbance flung the door open.

 Before her Ranma lay spread-eagled next to one of her best towels.

 Akane stood in the shower staring at her handywork a flush upon her face.

 The floor was just soaked! 

 "Oh my." Kasumi murmered and wondered where she had left the mop.


 NEXT EPISODE:::: THE ROCKET!

 ___________________________________________________________________________
     Nene   Nene    Nene    Nene    Nene    Nene    Nene    Nene    Nene   
                    I met a Lady in the Meads,
                    Full beautiful, a faery's child,
                    Her hair was long, her foot was light
                    And her eyes were wild.
                                            J.Keats
  ________________________________________________________________________    
           Agent Of Chaos. Robyn, Duke of Amber. Unicorn Knight
 ****************************************************************************