Here's a preliminary, incomplete draft of episode 4 of Nibun no 
Senshi Sailormoon. I should have the rest finished by later today. 
C&C is always welcome. Flames will be responded with an eloquent "Yo 
momma".

Ranma 1/2 property of...ah, hell, you know this already. Same 
bullshit applies for Sailormoon.

Nibun no Senshi Sailormoon

Episode 4: My Enemy, My Ally, My Curse

   The Sailor Senshi blinked at the piglet with the crescent moon on 
its forehead. The pig looked up at them.
   Artemis stepped forward, cautiously, peering at the creature. 
"Charon? How..."
   Charon once again spoke in his eerily quite, emotionless voice. 
"My mistress determined that Shin Sailormoon needed an advisor, and 
sent me."
   Luna shook her head. "That's not what he meant and you know it. 
The last time we saw you, one of the..." at this point, Luna 
shuddered... "One of our ancient enemies had just slashed your belly 
open and spilled your entrails."
   "And I was with you when the spark left your eyes," Artemis said. 
"You were very, very dead."
   "I got better," the pig replied. 
   Everyone facefaulted.
   "Seriously," Charon continued, "My body was destroyed, as you 
describe, in our civil war. But my soul was rescued at the last 
possible moment."
   The Senshi looked at the animals, confused. "Civil war? What's 
this about?" Minako asked.
   Luna sighed. "We'll explain it later. We have to, at any rate."
   "So your soul was saved...what about this piglet?" Artemis asked.
   "I can't be much use to Shin Sailormoon as a disembodied soul," 
Charon explained. "I had to...borrow a host body."
   Ranma's eyes widened in terror. "Not..."
   Charon cleared his throat, perfectly aware of the host's memories 
and desires. "Yes, Tendou Akane's pet piglet. That makes it more 
convenient, since I can stay here where you live."
   Ranma frowned. Charon stepped closer, and hissed where only she 
could hear, "Ryouga's fine. We'll talk about it later." Ranma visibly 
relaxed at this point.
   Ami frowned. "So, Charon is the Silver Millenium reading from 
earlier?"
   Charon nodded. "That would be me."
   Makoto frowned. "I thought Ami's computer said you merged with 
some friend of Ranko's..."
   Charon sweated. "I...ahhh...I sensed dark energy. I was 
investigating." This seemed to be accepted by the girls. Charon was 
about to begin speaking again when...
   "Ranma-kun, are you out there? ...Ara! We have guests! Welcome!"
   Ranma sweated. Kasumi stepped out onto the veranda to welcome the 
visitors. Ranma knew she had to do something quickly..."Kasumi, these 
girls have come to inquire about taking classes here at the dojo."
   "Oh! I'll go get Fa--"
   "I can handle it, Kasumi. No need to bother Tendou-san."
   Kasumi frowned. "I don't know, Ranma-kun..."
   Ranma smirked. "Hey, I gotta start sometime. I'm s'posed to take 
over the dojo someday, right?" <Please let Kasumi take the hint...>
   Kasumi pondered for a moment, then nodded. "Alright, Ranma-kun. 
I'll mention it to Father, and he'll ask you about how it went later, 
alright?"
   Ranma grinned. "Arigatou, Kasumi!" He turned to the girls. "Girls, 
follow me...the dojo's over here..." The four girls, two cats, and 
piglet followed her into the dojo.
   Kasumi blinked. Two cats? And Ranma didn't go crazy? And P-chan 
was following them..."Something strange is going on around here," she 
decided.
   
   Somewhere in the bowels of Hell, Satan shouted to his demon 
servants for a few more blankets, his teeth chattering as he shrugged 
deeper into his three overcoats.

   In the dojo, Ranma slumped against the wall, sighing. The other 
Senshi were glancing at her strangely. "Ranko? Who was that girl?" 
Minako asked.
   "That's Kasumi, Tendou-san's oldest daughter. She takes care of 
the house."
   "So, why did she keep calling you Ranma-kun?"
   Ranma shrugged. "That's just Kasumi for you."
   From the house, they heard the distinct shout of "Akane-chan! 
Could you come downstairs for a minute?"
   Ranma winced. The other Senshi raised eyebrows.
   "Anyway," Luna said, "We have a very big problem on our hands."
   "Oh, hello Ukyou-chan! Ranma-kun's with some students in the dojo, 
and will probably return shortly. Won't you come in and have some tea?
"
   Ranma bigsweated. "Please, Luna, continue..."
   "Our enemy," Luna said, casting nervous glances at everyone in the 
dojo, "Is an ancient one. They are members of the same race as 
Artemis, Charon, and myself, from the same planet..."
   "Kodachi-chan! I'm sorry, Ranma-kun isn't available at the moment..
."
   Ranma's eyes dilated down to pinpoints. Everyone cringed at the 
maniacal laughter which rang out across the complex.
   "...the cat we saw today is Apollo. He is a Fil."
   "A Fil?"
   Artemis nodded, picking up the tale. "Our homeworld is Mau, and 
that is also the name of the race of beings which Luna, Charon, and I 
come from. However, the second largest continent of Mau is Fil, where 
Apollo and his kind come from."
   "Long ago," Charon said, "Long before the Mau began to serve the 
Moon Kingdom, there was a great civil war between the Fil, who are 
very evil, very cruel beings, and the Mau. The Mau eventually won, 
forcing the entire Fil civilization off-planet in a cryostatic 
transport vessel."
   "Hello Shampoo-chan! Ranma-kun is out in the dojo..."
   Ranma's left eye began to twitch.
   Suddenly, one wall of the dojo caved in. "NIHAO!" rang a cute 
voice with a heavy Chinese accent. A girl with a lot of purple hair 
promptly attached herself to Ranma, who began to spasm violently. 
"Ranma! You happy see Shampoo! Take Shampoo date now!" She looked up, 
and frowned. "Ranma, who they?"
   "Uhhh..."
   "They not more fiancee? Ranma belong Shampoo, ugly Japanese girls! 
You no can have!"
   The Senshi were blinking in confusion, and some were more than a 
bit upset at what Shampoo had just called them. Artemis was looking 
around confusedly, while Luna sighed, a large bead of sweat rolling 
down the back of her head. 
   Now, one thing about stress, is that it has a habit of altering 
behavior patterns. With the stress of having to pretend to be a girl, 
and being a Sailor Senshi, combined with everyday stress, and now the 
matter of what could end up as an ugly conflict between the other 
Senshi and Shampoo, probably dragging the rest of Nerima into the mix 
in the process...
   Ranma snapped. She grabbed Shampoo's shoulders and forced her away.
 "Ranma...?" Shampoo asked. 
  "Get..." Ranma shoved Shampoo toward the hole she'd made in the 
wall. "Off..." She heaved the Amazon off the ground by the arms. "Of..
." She brought her foot back. "ME!" she finished, punting the Chinese 
girl across the yard, scoring a direct hit. With a splash, Shampoo 
fell into the pond, emerging as a rather annoyed cat. "Nyao," Shampoo-
neko told Ranma, and charged her.
   Seeing a cat without a crescent moon, Ranma began to freak out. 
Luna sweated, and rushed to intercept the purple-white cat. With a 
soft thud, the two cats collided, and Luna knocked the Amazon cat 
across the yard. Landing on her feet, Luna prepared to strike again.
   The Senshi were all staring at the spectacle with wide eyes. "What 
the HELL was that all about?" Makoto wondered.
   Kasumi's voice was cheerful as she entered through the side door 
of the dojo and said, "Ranma-kun! I brought a kettle of hot water for 
when you get through, alright?"
   The wrestling cats made their way back to the dojo entrance, and 
managed to roll right into Ranma. The sight of Shampoo-neko caused 
Ranma to freak out, and she stumbled backwards, tripping over a 
slightly warped floorboard and sprawling onto her butt...
   ...right into the kettle of hot water, which tipped over on her 
head.
   "Oh SHIT," she, now he, groaned. The Senshi and Artemis collapsed. 


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"Zankoku na Tenshi no you ni, shounen yo shinwa ni nare....."

The Eternal Lost Lurker
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