Slayers 1/2!
By Christina Rose
Part Two
The Crossover!
Well, last time, in case you've forgotten (Read part one, bakas!), our
lovely sorceress supreme was cast into another world through the magic of a
silver, ruby-studded bracelet she had recieved as a reward for saving two
helpless merchants. One second, Zel was saying something about casting a
detection spell on it first, the next, she was falling and landed on a
bamboo pole sticking out of a small spring. She nearly lost her balance,
but being the wonderful genius sorceress she is, she cast Ray Wing before
she fell. (Aww..) The Jusenkyo Guide (tm) noticed her then and shouted to
her to please come down before she got hurt. ^^ Then the guide offered her
a map and a nice meal before she left, and tried cooking pork with supper.
Lina poured an expiramental kettle of hot water on the ultra-kawaii
unconcious black piglet (Instant concious naked Ryouga!!!)
Lina: PERVERT!!! DIGGER BOLT!!!
Ryouga: No, it's not what it-
Lina: DAMU BRAS!!! Die, hentai! BALUS ROD!!!
Ryouga: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Meanwhile, Zel, Gourry, and Amelia ponder what to do with the bracelet.
They tried finding the two merchants who unloaded it off on them, but to no
avail. Finally, it was decided that they would risk the bracelet to rescue
their fearless leader. But first, a good meal!
Zelgadis: Please, people, Lina could be in serious danger right now! How
can you eat at a time like this?!
Gourry: Mhew, mve wheed hoofd for ourf fomashf! *Gulp* I don't want to be
hungry later on, either.
Zel: Fat chance of that happening...
Amelia: We haven't even had dessert yet! I'm hardly full!
Zel: (He is dangerously close to his bursting point now.)Grr...
Barmaid: (Coming over to the table) And what would you like for dessert?
Amelia: I'll have this, and this, and oh definitely this... Oh! Give me
three of that one! And this one, and this...
Gourry: I'll just have two of dessert #3, five of dessert #4, and four of
dessert #8! (As the barmaid closes her open jaw and tries to write
everything down, Zel finally gets fed up.)
Zel: I'm going on ahead. Take your time finishing. (He grabs the bracelet
and disappears in a flash of light. The two remaining Slayers glance at
where the bracelet has fallen to the table with a clatter, shrug, and
continue eating. Meanwhile, Zel has landed on the same pole as Lina did.
The guide is nowhere in sight, and Zel casually leaps down to earth and
takes a second to study the landscape around him. It's Jusenkyo, and if you
need a description, go find one somewhere else! I'm tired of describing
it!)
Zel: Hmm... strange place... I wonder where Lina went? She can't have gone
far... Guess I have to wait for the others now... (Calls out
expiramentally) LINA!! LIIINAAAAA!! (None of his calls are answered. He
looks around, spots the guide watering his flower bed.)
Zel: Excuse me, good sir...
Guide: Oh! Welcome to Jusenkyo Training Ground of Cursed Spring! You fall
in Chimaeraniichuan, I see, don't worry, hot water change you back to real
form!
Zel: Chimaeraniichuan?
Guide: Spring of Drowned Chimaera. You did fall in, no?
Zel: No, I didn't. I -am- a chimaera.
Guide: Aiyaa! Oh well, then you no need worry then! ^^ You should be
careful, very bad you fall in spring!
Zel: Hmm.. so if I fall in one of these... I turn into what drowned there?
Guide: That right! Hot water change you back to regular form, too.
Zel: Say, there wouldn't happen to be a Spring of Drowned Human Man around
here...?
Guide: Oh yes, very tragic story-
Gourry/Amelia: YAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! (They both fall from the invisible portal
in the sky, neither can land on the pole Zel and Lina took advantage of.)
Zel: *gasp* Amelia! DIEM WING!! (Amelia is caught in the protective
floating bubble and carried over to safety. Gourry, on the other hand...)
Amelia: Zelgadis-san! You saved me!
Zel: *cough* well, not really, I...
Gourry: Aw, man, I'm all wet! (Gourry is looking... strange. Where he was
once robust, now the armor and plating hangs loosely on him. His face is,
well, leaner... almost, feminine...) Hmm, I feel weird for some reason...
Guide: Aiyaa! You fall in Nyanniichuan!
Zel/Gourry/Amelia: WHAT?!?!
Guide: Very tragic story of girl who drown in spring eight-hundred year
ago! Now whoever fall in spring, take body of young girl! Tragic, no?
Gourry: Young girl?! No... It can't be... (Looking down, dreading what he
knows he's gonna find) AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!! I'm,
I'm... I'M A GIRL!! NOO!!!
Amelia: And what's wrong with being a girl?!
Zel: The irony's so thick you can cut it with a knife...
Guide: You get here same way as violent sorcerer-girl, no?
Amelia: Lina-san! Do you know where she is? (Gourry-chan is just standing
in the spring, still in shock.)
Guide: Violent sorcerer-girl left with no-sense-direction boy! I not know
where they go.
Zel: *sigh...*
Amelia: I still can't believe you saved me, Zel-san!
Zel: Well, I, er, uh... Gourry, come on! We don't have all day! Excuse me,
sir, would you please show us where the Spring of Drowned Man is? Hurry up
and get this over with...
Guide: Well, um, that is say, heheh, um, I forget which one!
No-sense-direction boy ask same thing! I no can find now! I get old, forget
which spring do what...
Zel: Then did Lina fall into a spring?
Guide: No, no, she float to ground just fine. I sorry for you and friend,
my daugher Plum know, but she on vacation now! Very tragic, no?
Zel: Yeah... so what general direction were they headed?
Guide: They go that way. I would give you meal before you go, but...
Amelia: Meal?! Who? Where?
Guide: But sorceress-girl eat up everything in pantry! It amazing how much
she eat!
Gourry-chan: Ain't it though...
Zel: (Unable to resist) You're the one to talk, Gourry, it's amazing you
can eat so much and still keep that girlish figure! You're probably even
more, gifted..
Gourry-chan: Shaddup!! That isn't funny!!
Zel: Well, _I_ think it is... (He can't contain his snickers anymore. He
bursts out laughing.)
Gourry: (Watching Zel's uncharacteristic burst of laughter with despair)
I'm... a GIRL!! I'm gonna be stuck as a girl forever! Waaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
(Outburst of tears a la Sailor Moon)
Amelia: Zel-san, you made her cry! You shouldn't pick on a girl like that!
Zel: Yeah, you're right... Though I haven't had a good laugh for almost a
year now! Sorry, Gourry!
Gourry-chan: Waaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *sniff, sniff* You're just saying
that...
Zel: Oh for crying out loud! (Yanks Gourry-chan out of the water and dumps
thermos water over his head. Instant guy.)
Gourry-kun: I'm, I'm... I'M A MAN AGAIN!!!!! Happy day!
Zel: *sigh...* Gourry...
Amelia: You're not a man forever, Gourry-san. Just until cold water
splashes you again. Then you turn into a girl!
Gourry: Why was that again?
Guide: You fall in Nyanniichuan, Spring of Drowned Girl, there very tragic
story of girl who drown there eight-hundred year ago...
*******************
Now, we join everyone's favorite ultra-destructive sorceress Lina and
everyone's favorite yellow-clad lost boy Ryouga, in their journey already
in progress...
Lina: And that's how I ended up here. I can't figure out how to get back,
either!
Ryouga: Well, I know a woman who might be able to help, but I'm warning you
right now...
Lina: What?
Ryouga; I have... problems... getting where I want to go...
Lina: Oh, you get lost a lot.
Ryouga: Bingo. But we can still get there in a couple weeks...
Lina: I hope so! I'll wait if I have to. But this better not mean we're not
getting many good meals!
Ryouga: Don't worry, I can catch us some food. I'm a survival expert, I've
had to live on nuts and berries more than once...
Lina: Nuts and berries?! Are you crazy?! I'll starve!
Ryouga: *sigh* (looks depressed)
Lina: Oh, come on now, I'm not that annoying! What's wrong?
Ryouga: Nah, you don't want to know...
Lina: What? Come on, tell me!
Ryouga: Well, it's just a pickle I'm in, I'm in love with this girl, but I
sleep in her bed as her pet pig and if she ever found out, she would hate
me forever!
Lina: I can see how that's a problem... (Imagines herself as Ryouga's girl,
finding out a guy disguised as a pig has been sleeping in her bed at night,
and decides she would probably fry Ryouga with a few fireballs and forgive
him later.) Just tell her the truth, otherwise you'll never have a chance
with her!
Ryouga: I know that, but it's hard to get up the guts to tell her...
Lina: Would you rather her find out by accident?
Ryouga: No... but I've been trying to find the naaniichuan spring that
could cure me before I have to tell her. I can't just jump into random
springs, what if I fall into the Spring of Drowned Bacteria or something
like that? (Hey, it _could_ happen!)
Lina: You just don't have any guts, that's your problem. You might do real
well in a fight, but you're spineless when it comes to women!
Ryouga: Yeah...
Lina: You're too depressed, too! You need to lighten up some! I know what
this needs!
We switch scenes to a small Chinese restaurant in a small amazon village.
There, Lina proceeds to order two of everything on the menu.
Lina: And some noodles for Ryouga, too!
Ryouga: (Eyes bugging out at the pile of teriyaki, noodles, and other
various Chinese foodstuffs sitting in front of Lina) How often do you eat?
Lina: It's been two hours since I had a good meal! I'm hungry!
Ryouga: (Being the nice, tactful guy he is, he chooses to refrain from
smart remarks. Or maybe it's because she had hit him with a few dozen
fireballs earlier that day...?) Well, I'm kinda hungry too, haven't had a
decent bite to eat in days!
Lina: This is MY food! You can't have it! (sucks up an entire bowl of
noodles) *Gulp*
Ryouga: (Bug-eyed) Oh well, might as well as long as she's buying... Hey!
How are you going to pay for all this?
Lina: Wifh hmofey, fshufif! (Finishes her fourth rice bowl) *Gulp* I've got
plenty of money! See? (Tosses her bag of gold coins to Ryouga for
inspection. Ryouga's eyes bug out even more.)
Ryouga: Gold?! Forget it, I'm not even asking...
Lina: Eh? What, is gold worthless here? How much would a meal like this go
for in gold?
Ryouga: You could buy the store with this much gold! You could probably get
free meals for a year with one of these coins!
Lina: Great, I can get some more for the road, then! *Slurp*
Ryouga: Well, that would help... (He eats his noodles with considerably
more grace than our lovely sorceress is showing.)
Waiter: <Here is your bill. Will you be paying by cash or check?>
Ryouga: <Uh, we no have cash, you take gold?> (Hands the waiter a coin)
Waiter: Aiyaa!! <This is real gold!> (Takes an expiramental look) <Would
you like anything else?>
Ryouga: Well, Lina? What else are you gonna take with you?
Lina: Okay, I want this, this, two of these...(She points to the pictures
beside the entree list as she's talking. The waiter, understanding, writes
them down as she's talking. She's also holding up fingers for the amount of
each dish she wants to have to go. Finally, we see Lina and Ryouga leaving
the restaurant, Ryouga laden with bags of Chinese takeout that were too
many to all fit in his backpack. Lina walks beside him carrying one bag.
It's dark now, and they are entering a forest.)
Ryouga: Can't you... carry... a few more bags?
Lina: I'm just fifteen, you can't expect me to be able to -lift- all those!
Ryouga: But... I'm sixteen, and-
Lina: Walk more, talk less. Come on, hurry up, you can walk a little
faster.
Ryouga: Alright, alright.. I'm going, I'm going!
Lina: So who is it you're taking me to?
Ryouga: Well, there's this old woman I know, she and I aren't that close,
but I'm sure she'd help you.
Lina: Really?
Ryouga: She's kind of the local magic authority, and I haven't met anyone
yet who can match her knowledge of the arcane. She might know something,
and if she doesn't, well, at least I tried, right?
Lina: Better than wandering around aimlessly... (She realizes who she's
saying this to.) Hehe..
Ryouga: Very funny. That's it, I'm setting up camp. (He drops his multitude
of Chinese takeout bags and takes the camping supplies out of his backpack.
As Lina sits back and watches, he puts up a tent and sets one sleeping bag
inside, the other outside.)
Lina: You're a chivalrous little guy, aren't you?
Ryouga: I couldn't sleep in the same tent as a girl! I-
Lina: Whatever, as long as I have a nice, dry place to sleep, I couldn't
care less where _you_ stay. Are you sure? It's okay, I don't mind, really!
Ryouga: No, I'll just stay up for a while, if that's okay with you.
Lina: Sure, if you want to... *Yawn* I'm going to bed, walking around all
day in the hot sun wipes you out! And carrying all that takeout didn't
help... (Even though Ryouga carried almost all of it, except for the one
token bag Lina carried.) Just don't wander off while I'm asleep, okay?
Ryouga: Yeah, yeah... Goodnight, Lina-san.
Lina: Goodnight, Ryouga! (She crawls into the tent and curls up in her
sleeping bag. She falls asleep almost instantly. Ryouga sits up on a nearby
rock and leans back, enjoying the view of the stars.)
Ryouga: Lina was right, though, I'm gonna have to tell her sooner or
later... Akane... Telling her is the only way I'll ever have a chance at
something better than being her pet...(A resolution forms inside him.) I'm
not going to let Ranma get in my way this time! I'm going to tell her I
love her, and he can't stop me! (He notices the clouds overhead obscuring
his view of the stars.) It's going to rain soon... I'll have to sleep
inside the tent tonight. *Sigh* Lina-san'll get over it. (He crawls into
the tent, dragging his sleeping bag behind him. Careful not to disturb
Lina, he falls asleep against the side wall. Lina continues to sleep
obliviously; she doesn't care.)
****************
The next morning, Gourry, Zel, and Amelia get up out of their sleeping bags
to a beautiful sunrise. The beauty of it is somewhat marred by the constant
whining of the two less intelligent Slayers.)
Amelia: I'm hungry! I want breakfast!
Gourry: *Yawn* Why'd we have to get up at dawn?! I'm too tired...
Zel: Look, why don't we go ahead and leave? Standing here gets us nowhere!
We have to find Lina, remember?
Gourry: Hai, hai...
Zel: What we need is a plan on how to look for her. This world is huge,
according to this map, and we can't travel the whole thing.
Amelia: Well, the guide gave us that copy of the guest book, if we wanted
to look up this.. 'No-sense-direction boy' for ourselves...
Zel: Yes, that -would- be a good place to start. But, according to this
map, his house is hundreds of kilometers away on a set of nearby islands...
Gourry: So we can head in that general direction... Maybe we'll luck out
and meet him on the way!
Zel: Well, a good idea in theory... but there has to be a reason that man
calls him 'No-sense-direction boy.'
Amelia: Maybe because he has no sense of direction?
Zel: Very good. He and Lina could be anywhere by now, we have no way of...
wait a minute!
Amelia: What?
Zel: Why didn't I think of that yesterday? I can cast a detection spell,
and maybe enchant a rock or something to home in on her current location.
Then, we can use that as a compass!
Amelia: Good thinking, Zelgadis-san! And while you use your Shamanist magic
to do that, I'll just have myself a bite to eat for breakfast! (Walks
happily over to the bag with their extra food in it. Between Gourry and
her, Zel know's he'll starve if he doesn't do something.)
Zel: Wait! You can't just pig out!
Amelia: Why not?!
Zel: Um.. because, uh, we might not be able to get any more food for a
while, so we should save what we have! Yeah, that's it!
Amelia: Oh.. okay...
Gourry: Sure!
Zel leaves their clearing and finds another nice clearing not far away. He
draws a magic circle in the dirt, and places a few leaves over it. He puts
a large black stone in the center of the circle. Chanting, he infuses the
stone with earth magic. The best he can do, though, is to fix it up to home
in on extremely powerful sources of magic, can't be many of those in this
world, right? When he attempts to use it, it glows to the west, and to the
southeast. He ignores the glow to the west, since that is where Jusenkyo
is. The other glow has to be Lina! He returns to the campsite, where Gourry
and Amelia have both fallen asleep again.
Zel: (Shaking them both gently) WAKE UP YOU BAKAS!!!!!!!
Amelia: AHHH!!
Gourry: WAAHHH!!! I'm up, I'm up!!
Amelia: Did you find her?
Zel: Southeast. Let's go!
Amelia: Right!
Gourry: *Snore...*
Zel: *Sigh...* This is gonna be a -long- trip...
******************
Now Lina is waking up, to the smell of fried rice. She sees Ryouga outside,
heating up some of the takeout over an open fire. She notices the slept-in
bedroll in the tent lying against the tent wall.
Lina: Changed your mind, huh?
Ryouga: It was going to rain... Your breakfast's almost ready.
Lina: Thanks! Why didn't you wake me up?
Ryouga: Didn't really need to, did I? You were dead as a brick anyway.(He
grins.)
Lina: Anyway, I see we're having, what'd you call it, Chinese, for
breakfast. What a surprise!
Ryouga: I hope you're hungry, 'cuz I don't want to carry all that food the
whole way! Help yourself!
Lina: Don't mind if I do! (Pops a wonton in her mouth and sighs
contentedly) This is the life... Just me, nature, and lots of Chinese
takeout!
Ryouga: Heh, yup...
Little do they know a gang of trademark bandits have been following them
since last night at the restaurant. The thieves have only now managed to
catch up with them, given Ryouga's horrible lack of direction.
Leader: (To the other thieves) Now remember, don't underestimate them, they
managed to get us lost four times yesterday! They probably know they're
being tracked and they're trying to throw us off, so we must strike while
they are still off guard, before they can wander off again!
Other thieves: Hai!
Leader: Let's go!
(Lina and Ryouga are suddenly surrounded by about 12-18 bandits looking
for gold. Ryouga looks around frantically, Lina just glances at them
cooly.)
Lina: What do you want?
Leader: Give us your precious metals, little girl, before you get hurt!
Ryouga: What?! How dare you threaten her like that! I oughta-
Lina: Take it easy, Ryouga, I can take care of these losers with one spell
shot. FIRE...
Bandits: Attack! (They all attack at once, converging on the two innocent
travelers in a wave.)
Lina: BALL!!!! (All of the thieves are blown back by the blast, and Ryouga
finds himself surrounded by human-sized lumps of ash with blinking eyes.
The ash lumps run away in a hurry.)
Ryouga: Good job, Lina-san! I could've taken them, though...
Lina: Oh, really? I'll let you handle the next batch, then.
Ryouga: Next batch?
Lina: They were obviously after my gold, and if these guys heard about a
couple of filthy rich teenage travelers going around China, I'll bet lots
of other groups know, too.
Ryouga: Oh yeah...
Lina: Me and my big stomach! What a price to pay for takeout! Oh well, now
these guys'll spread the word that there's a sorceress going around killing
innocent bandits. You take the bad with the good, I guess...heh... just
like in my world!
Ryouga: You do stuff like this in your world?
Lina: All the time! I'm known as Lina the Bandit Killer... God, I hate that
name! (Ryouga snickers.) Hey, pig-boy, I wouldn't laugh if I were you!
(Ryouga's face grows dark at the familiar insult.)
Ryouga: Don't call me that! If there's one thing I can't stand, it's when
people make fun of my curse!
Lina: Chill out, Ryouga, I didn't mean it. Anyway, I'm a sword-for-hire in
my world, living a life of adventure!
Ryouga: Sounds fun! I'll have to visit there sometime! If you can find a
way to get there, I mean...
Lina: Yeah, you'd like it. More dragons than this place has.. but I have to
get back there first. I wonder if my friends came after me? I told the
guide to give them a map if they came.. but...
Ryouga: Yeah, no telling if they'd ever find us. (They laugh at this.) Hey,
is that..?(He notices some figures in the distance)
Lina: Yup... Like I said, you'll have to deal with a few of those...
Ryouga: Okay, since you can obviously handle yourself in a fight, we can
just take turns.
Lina: Sounds good to me! These guys are yours.
Ryouga: Thanks! (Salutes and goes to meet the next group.)
Thief: H-how did you see us?!
Ryouga: Are you kidding me? Anyone with a little knowledge of nature sounds
could hear you guys coming a mile away! I'll give you people one chance to
run away before you get injured.
Thief 2: How dare you insult the Serpent Gang like that! You will be
punished!
Lina: (From sidelines) The Serpent Gang?! What kind of stupid name is that?
Ryouga: (Meanwhile...) Bakusaitenketsu! *BOOM* You asked for it! Take this!
And this! (No mere gang of thieves is a match for Ryouga Hibiki! They soon
flee the battle, most covered in bruises and lesions.)
Lina: Niiice! (Gives him a big hand)
Ryouga: Really, it was nothing! (He grins wide and scratches the back of
his head modestly.)
Lina: You're handy in a fight, I'll give you that! I'll tell you what, you
can have the next batch of bandits, too!
Ryouga: Um, thanks, I guess... Anyway, let's pack up before something else
happens. (He packs up the camping supplies, then packs the takeout on top
of that. What won't fit in his pack, he just carries. Once again, Lina
takes one of the lightest bags, to show she's helping. Ryouga realizes
complaining won't help him, so he keeps his mouth shut. Wow, he catches on
quick!)
******************
End of Part Two
******************
Thank you, all the people who have sent me encouragement for this story!
It's my first real attempt at fanfiction, and I really like hearing your
comments! Send them to cristina@netdoor.com ! Stay tuned for Part Three:
Lina in Nerima! For all of those who anticipate a Lina/Ranma Clash of the
Egos, you won't be disappointed! Note: I assume Ryouga, for the sake of the
story, knows at least rudimentary Chinese from all his traveling around
China. Be prepared for even more mayhem next episode!