Ranma 1/2: 4 Stories of porn 3!
"Damn voices, they always want me to kill the nicest people -
aka Ranma's jug-band Christmas!"
By Scott "The how did I get rooster cheese in the cracks of my toes?" Baker
[[[WARNING]]] [DARK/PARODY is the worse case scenario! But we don't have a DARK/PARODY scenario!] "Please pray for the safety of Satan and his minions on board Air Force one....."
--What has gone before?--
Well, haven't we been busy? Ranma has been fed the Tendos and the rest of the Saotomes... Whose next? Lets find out. But first! Take the plax scratch test...don't worry I won't look... see that film? That's Akari!
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Chapter 3/Story 3
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Ranma and Akane sat down next to a tree at Lunch. "So...what are we having today?" He asked impatiently. "Leftovers" she said while setting a little place for him. "Great!" He exclaimed. Akane settled in and started to Write down some things.
"Whadda ya writing?" Ranma asked noticing the small notepad that Akane was writing on. "Grocery list." She said simply, turning her head to greet the eye of Ranma. "Oh?" He asked in wonder. "Let me see." he said grabbing it up. He peered at it in puzzlement. "Why does this say: Shampoo, Ukyo, Kodachi, Konatsu, Mousse, Hinako, Tatawaki, Gosunkugi, Satsuke, Cologne, Herb, Mint, Lime, Sentarou, Mikado, Azusa, Tsubasa, and the little girl plum?" He asked in puzzlement. "Oh.. guests.." she said with a crooked smile. "Oh? Then how about Link and Pink?" He asked. "Why sure..I almost forgot." She said with a sheepishly grim smile. (How do you have a sheepish grim smile?)...
"Kill everyone." a voice said. Ranma turned around. "What Akane?" He asked. She shook her head. "Didn't say a word." Ranma just grinned, and got back to his food.
"KILL EVERYONE!" A voice yelled, blazing in Ranma's ears.
"I HEARD THAT!" Ranma yelled. Akane just looked at him strangely.
"..and he thinks I'm acting weird." Akane thought as she added names to her list.
Ranma stood up, he looked puzzled. He began to walk in circles. Then faster, and faster...
"Ranma! What are you doing?" Akane asked. "Chasing my tail! Wadda ya think!" He exclaimed.
"Kill everyone...kill everyone...." A voice commanded in his head. "MUST CHASE TAIL!" He exclaimed. A small crowd gathered by them.
"What is he doing?" A few people asked. "He's chasing his tail." Akane said, like it happens all the time.
"Oh..ok.." Everyone said and got back to there food. Akane just shook her head.
Ranma suddenly stopped. A silly little smile formed. "Must kill everyone." he said, laughing hysterically. "MUST KILL EVERYONE!" He yelled. He raced towards the school.
"Ranma! What are you doing?!" Akane yelled. Ranma just kept going. Then he stopped...right in front of the school.
"Hmm." He said. "How does she do that hammer thing again?" He asked himself. He placed his hands in "Hammerspace", and pulled out an AK-47. "Hahaha! Score!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.
"OH MY GOD! He's got a gun!" a few people yelled. Ranma started to mow down people. He didn't really care who.. "Must spill the blood of the non-believers!" he yelled, as he continued the carnage.
Akane frantically wrote more names to her "Grocery list".
"Damn..easier that I thought." she mumbled. She smiled happily.
"Please..please don't kill me!" Gosunkugi pleaded for his life. "Must spill the blood of the non-believers!" Ranma yelled to him. "Please..please! I'll believe in whatever you want." Gosunkugi yelled as he cried in fright.
"You must believe in the powers of Flowbee!" Ranma yelled. "I do!" Gosunkugi yelled trying to swarm his way into the guy with the guns heart. "Oh...you do?" Ranma asked. "Yeah, sure." Gosunkugi said, feeling relieved.
Ranma turned away, as to think. Ranma turned back, and had a crazy look. "New belief!" He yelled. "What, what is it?!" Gosunkugi yelled.
"DEATH!" Ranma yelled as he fired a few rounds into Gosunkugi. Ranma laughed hysterically, as his fired a few more rounds just for good measure.
Akane scratched Gosunkugi's name out, and smiled.
"Damn this is fun!" Ranma yelled, smiling. He started up the second floor. Killing people at random, and also wounding people too. "I'll get back to them." He said, as he quickly rushed up the stairs.
"Saotome! You infidel!" A voice said behind him. Ranma quickly turned to see Kuno, trying to be cool.
"Heh. Bang bang bang!" Ranma yelled. Kuno just stood there.. not really paying attention to the VERY LARGE GUN in Ranma's hands.
"So...you are trying to kill everyone, eh?" Kuno quizzically asked, he stood there, his bokken in hands.
"Yeah..so" Ranma said, he prepared to fire a few rounds into Kuno.
Kuno shook his head. "You will not be getting me!" Kuno yelled and started to run away.
"Loser." Ranma said simply. He shot a few quick rounds into Kuno's thick skull. Ranma was enjoying this so much. He didn't seem notice Hinako behind himself.
"Saotome-" Hinako was cut off by Ranma aiming a gun at her. "AHH!" She yelled, as she saw the barrel came closer to her.
"So.. you just gonna stand there?" Ranma yelled. It wasn't any fun this way. Hinako got a smug smile on her face. "Yes...yes I am." She said in an overly cute tone.
"Well..killing is killing." He said with a large smile. He blew her 15 feet in the air. "YES A NEW RECORD!" He yelled. A few people clapped behind him, admiring his work...he opened fire on them too.
Ranma cleared a few more floors. "Hey.. where did everyone go?" He asked. "I'm not done yet!" he yelled to the bare halls. He saw one more person entering the halls, he smiled.
"Well, well Ranma!" Akane yelled, as she came closer to him, her notepad now filled. "Looks like you've been having fun!" Akane exclaimed, a smile on her face.
They both laughed silly.
"Ahh...well..my work is not done yet." Ranma said, a smile plastered on his face.
"What do you mean, Ranma?" Akane asked puzzled.
Ranma opened fire on Akane.. Ahh.. the pain... ahh the torture... ahh cool.
"See what I mean!" Ranma yelled, laughing hysterically at the sight.
Ranma was jolted awake. He blinked his eyes a few times. "What in the?" He thought to himself.
"Saotome! No sleeping in class!" Hinako yelled to him. An eraser plastered on Ranma's face.
"Why you bit-" Ranma yelled reaching for an invisible object...he noticed nothing was there. He sat down quietly and smiled. "Why you better give me some work! To stay awake!" Ranma yelled..trying to cover his tracks. Hinako just shook her head and got back to teaching, "Not class... Gacy was a clown..."
Akane giggled as they walked home. "So, what was your dream about, I heard my name." Akane said with a small blush. "Oh..it was nice dream about you." He said, grinning slightly. Ranma looked down at Akane's hands.
"Wadda ya got there?" He asked her.. noticing a small object in her hands. "Grocery list." She said simply. Ranma nodded... he couldn't wait to get home to eat.
-End 3-
Doink! Yes sir! Hi-ho Mcman!
Scott Baker
iNSANiTY Software
http://www.insanitysoft.com
|If you think I'm crazy then your god d*mn right!| - Chris Randell;
Sister Machine gun.