Sorry to send this as an attachment, but my mailing program is acting up and
I have been editing this fanfic using Microsoft Word.

I realize I just sent this to some of you (newbie list plus a few others)
but I just did my first revision (thanks T.H.) and I feel that it is 
reasonably postable.  Any C&C is of course greatly appreciated.

Here you go, my second fanfic.  

Now I need another idea for after I finish revising this one.  Help!

Ben Williamson