Chapter 4: Running Interference

   Mousse sighed guiltily as he unrolled a futon on the roof of the 
Ucchan. "I can't believe I did that...but..."
   Mousse had been privy to the conversation between Cologne and 
Shampoo earlier at the Nekohanten, as he'd been in his cage at that 
time. When he got free, and got some hot water, he left. He didn't 
announce his departure, and he didn't think the wrinkled old bitch 
would care anymore anyway. He just had to get out of there.
   He'd barely left the restaurant when he found himself the victim 
of a drive-by splashing. The duck trudged out of the soaked robes, 
and staggered down the street.
   A short while later, he noticed Shampoo enter the Ucchan, and 
managed to hide himself well enough to listen in. As they finished 
making their plans, the duck trudged inside...
   
   "Mousse? What you do here?" Shampoo asked the bespectacled duck.
   "Quack."
   "I think he wants hot water, sugar," Ukyou said, producing a 
kettle and pouring some over the duck, who immediately rose to man 
height, and somehow produced a set of robes to cover himself.
   "Thank you, Kuonji Ukyou," Mousse said, turning to the okonomiyaki 
chef and bowing.
   As Mousse bowed, a haze began to issue from his sleeves.
   "Aiyah...Shampoo so sleepy all of sudden..."
   "Me too, hon," Ukyou said, yawning loudly. "Think...I'll take...a 
little nap..." 
   Within seconds, both girls were soundly snoring on the floor of 
the okonomiyaki-ya.
   Mousse bowed his head, and sighed. "Forgive me, ladies," he said, 
removing a very well concealed set of noseplugs and gasping slightly 
from holding his breath. "I don't want to see either of you harmed in 
a foolish quest to stop the old hag, and I for one don't care if 
Ranma does marry a man."
   Mousse turned, and walked out of the restaurant, then leapt to its 
roof and began setting up camp.
  
   Now, he lay atop the roof of Ukyou's shop, unobserved by all. His 
new mission in life, he decided, was to prevent Shampoo and Ukyou 
from intervening in Cologne's affairs at all costs.

   **********

   "Mmmm....Ryo-chan...."
   "Ranma, my love..."
   Ukyou gasped in horror at the spectacle before her. Ranma lay nude 
upon a satin bed, scarlet hair untied and flowing in a pool beneath 
her, as Ryouga slowly lowered himself onto her. Their lips met in a 
long and passionate kiss, as they began to...

   "NOOO!!!" Ukyou screamed as she bolted up from the floor. 
Immediately many joints in her body told her to go to hell.
   Stumbling over to a chair, rubbing at her throbbing temples, she 
noticed Shampoo, curled in a catlike position on the floor, fast 
asleep. "Th...hell?" she mumbled groggily. She glanced through the 
shop curtains. Somehow, someone had closed and locked up her store. 
Ignoring the protests of her joints, she made her way to the cash 
register, and looked inside. She heaved a sigh of relief--nothing was 
missing. Sitting down heavily on a stool, she wondered how her shop 
had gotten locked, and how she and Shampoo could have fallen asleep 
like that. She looked through the curtains...it was twilight out, 
with a few stars twinkling. She growled in frustration.
   "Dammit! Shampoo! Oi, Shampoo!" She trudged over and nudged the 
sleeping Chinese girl. Shampoo moaned quietly, and rolled over.
   Uttering noises of disgust and annoyance, Ukyou lifted the Amazon 
from the floor and plopped her in a chair. "Wake UP, you bouncy 
purple hairball!"
   Slowly, groggily, Shampoo blinked herself awake. "Aiyah...what 
Ukyou making many noise for? Shampoo head hung over."
   "You ditz, we've been asleep all day! It's night now! The old 
crone has a major head start on us!"
   "Aiyah..." Shampoo became slightly more sober at that, looking out 
the window. Then her eyes widened. "Aiyah...is Ryouga..."
   Ukyou whirled, and saw the lost boy. Immediately she dashed for 
the door and opened it.
   Ryouga looked blearier than usual, and a whole lot sadder. 
"Ryouga! Get your ass in here, buster!"
   Ryouga looked at the source of the voice. "Ukyou? You seen Ran...
"
   Ukyou grabbed Ryouga by the arm and dragged him into the 
restaurant, slamming the door.

   "What's going on?" Ryouga asked. He blinked in confusion. Ukyou 
and Shampoo looked awfully pissed off.
   "Ryouga no leave here. We keep under watch, make sure you no do 
stupid thing."
   "She's right, sugar. You might as well get used to us, cause we're 
not lettin' you go anywhere."
   Ryouga blinked. "No...no, I gotta...gotta find Ranma."
   Ukyou and Shampoo exchanged a glance, and then scowled. "You ain't 
goin' nowhere near Ranchan, lost boy," Ryouga informed him.
   "She right, pig. You stay away Ranma. Ranma no is yours."
   Ryouga blinked in confusion. He was very angry at hearing them say 
that...why? His head was so cloudy...
   All he knew was that he wanted to see Ranma. He wasn't going to 
let anything stop him.
   "I'm sorry," he said, standing. Ukyou clutched her spatula, and 
Shampoo armed herself with bonbori. Ryouga stared at their weapons, 
shrugged, and walked to the doorway.
   "Hey! You get back here, ya jackass!"
   Ryouga ignored the enraged chef, and with a cry of "Bakusai 
Tenketsu!", reduced the entrance of the Ucchan to splinters. Hoisting 
his backpack, he trudged out into the encroaching darkness.
   "Gotta...find Ranma...."

   Mousse heard all this from above, and grinned. "So, the old hag's 
got to him already. This could be fun to watch." And with that, he 
drifted off into peaceful slumber.

   "Aiyah...what we do now, Ukyou?"
   "Only one thing we can do, Shampoo," Ukyou said. "We gotta warn 
Ranchan." 
   "You no think great-grandmother get to Ranma already too?"
   Ukyou sighed. "I hope not." The two girls bolted out into the 
night, headed for the Tendou dojo.

   **********

   Cologne looked up from the table she was polishing and blinked at 
the window. Outside, she saw a haggard-looking Ryouga stumble past. 
Throwing down her towel, she hopped to the doorway and leaned out. 
"Son-in-law! Where are you going?"
   Ryouga looked up blearily. "Hi granny. I'm...trying to find the 
Tendou dojo. So I can see Ranma."
   Cologne blinked. "See Ranma you say?" The boy nodded. "What for?"
   "Gotta...tell her something."
   Cologne blinked twice. "The meeting at the park went that well?"
   Ryouga sighed. "I was late. She was gone."
   Cologne's eyes widened, but only for a second. "Okay, go that way..
." she said, pointing.
   Ryouga nodded, and stumbled off in the opposite direction. Cologne 
considered correcting him, then with a sigh, hopped back into the 
Nekohanten. She bounded into the kitchen, and perched on the counter. 
"This is strange," she mused. "If he never encountered Ranma, then 
how could he possibly know who he's supposed to be looking for? It's 
not supposed to work like that..."
   Frowning, she pulled out a small scroll, and read over the careful 
Chinese writing on it. "I clearly remember giving Ryouga very vague 
instructions..." Tracing the scroll, she found a passage which made 
her raise one ancient eyebrow. "Interesting...so that's it..."
   Chuckling, she moved over to the other side of the kitchen, and 
picked up a small leather pouch. It clacked as she opened it and 
removed a few small objects. "Now," she thought, "I just need to find 
a way to overcome that cursed directional problem of son-in-law's..." 
She squeezed one of the small objects between her fingers, and it 
cracked. "Luckily, I have a plentiful supply of these," she thought 
as she picked the shell away from the small nut and began grinding it 
into a powder.


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--The Eternal Lost Lurker--
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