Subject: [AMS] [UY] "AA Oni!" (4/5)
From: "Henry J. Cobb" <hcobb@slip.net>
Date: 7/27/1997, 12:48 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

[AMS] [UY] "AA Oni!" (4/5)
Chapter Four: "Burning Hearts on the Road."
By Henry J. Cobb
$Id: aa_oni4.txt,v 1.6 1997/07/27 05:42:35 hcobb Exp $

The AMS characters and situations are the creation of Kosuke Fujishima.
The UY characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi.
No infringement of their copyrights is intended.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

My name is Keiichi Morisato.  I go to Nekomi Tech, where I study automotive
engineering.  I'm a perfectly ordinary guy, a little short and frankly
scrawny, but somehow I've wound up living at this strange temple with two
beautiful 16-year old girls.  One of them is an Oni, the other a goddess,
but they're both aliens.

"Look, here's the problem Keiichi!"  Benten pointed to the engine mounting
we were working on.

"Yeah, that looks to be off by about two millimeters, think we'll have to
reweld it?"  I ran my hands along the engine.

"Maybe, but what if we add spacers here and here?"  Benten pointed to where
the engine was already bolted down.

"What about the vibrations?"  I asked.

"I think it'll be OK, but we'll have to ask Lum."

I didn't really mind anymore that the club had dropped the entire drag-race
motorcycle project in my lap.  Between Lum's mathematical genius and Benten's
mechanical aptitude, we were moving along a lot faster than those idiots
ever could.  And now with Megumi helping, we would finish with plenty of
time to spare.

"You two seem to be having fun."

At the sound of my sister's voice, I suddenly realised how close Benten and
I were, sitting there looking into each other's faces.  I backed off a foot
and turned to my sister.  "Megumi, you're back!"

"I got that mesh hose you needed bro."

"Oh, yeah that's good, now let's see, uh."

"Lum,"  Benten called out and I followed her gaze to where Lum was standing
at the door. "We'll need to move things around a bit on the bike.  Can you
redo the equations?"

"Sure Benten, does it have to be now, t'cha?"  Lum gestured at her apron. "I'm
making a cake, t'cha."

"Naw, it can wait."  Benten got up and then held a hand for me.  "Come on
Keiichi, if we're having tea, we'd best wash up."

"Uh, I can wait until you're done."  I sweated.

"OK."  Benten headed into the temple.

"Lum, can you show me your recipe?"  Megumi asked.

"Certainly Megumi, t'cha."  Lum and Megumi walked towards the kitchen.

Megumi didn't use to be interested in cooking or fashion.  She used to be a
simple fast-food junkie gear-head like me, but then Lum showed up and acted
totally feminine while being totally confident in her field.

As I sat there alone with my thoughts, a giant "swan-style" training toilet
came down for a landing in the yard.  I walked up and looked around it,
trying to figure out how it flew.

The hatch on the top of it opened and a kid of four or so flew out.  He wore
tiger-striped shorts, an aviators cap and a tiger-striped scarf.  He took
off the cap, revealing blue eyes, green hair and a single horn at the top of
his head.  He looked around and then asked me.  "Hey you, is this Benten's
temple?"

"Uh, yes.  Say, are you related to Lum?"

"Naturally, I'm her cousin, Jariten."

"I'm Keiichi Morisato, nice to meet you."

"Ten!"  Lum stood at the doorway.

"Lum!"  he flew over to her, but much clumsier and slower than Lum
flew.

"Darling, this is my cousin Ten, t'cha."

"Darling!"  Ten sputtered.  "This idiot is your Darling?"  Ten flew around
me a few times.  "What is your interest in Lum?"

"Well, uh."

"Darling and I are engaged to be married, t'cha!"

"What!"  Ten took a deep breath and spewed fire over me.

"Ouch!"  I held up my arms to protect my face.

"Ten!"

"What's this racket?  Oh, hi Ten."  Benten stood next to Lum, wrapped in a
towel, her wet hair hanging down.

"Benten!"  Ten flew to Benten, a little faster than he had to Lum.

As Benten raised her arms to grab him, her towel slipped away from her right
breast.

I stood and stared and in the distance I heard a sound like a pair of
binoculars breaking on the ground.

Benten shifted Ten to her left arm and used her right hand to adjust her
towel.

"Darling!"

"Uh, yes Lum?"  I carefully shifted my gaze over to Lum.

"Darling, the bathtub is free now, t'cha?"

"Uh yes, thanks."

"Bro, what happened to you?"  Megumi was now at the door, in one of Lum's
aprons.

"Never mind, I just need a bath."

After my bath, I found Megumi, Ten and Benten gathered around the living
room table.

"So Ten, when did you get here?"  Megumi asked the alien who was snuggled in
her lap.

"Oh, I just flew in."

"Was it a long trip?"  She asked.

"Uh, what's up?"  I quickly intervened.

"Oh Bro, Lum will have tea ready in just a moment."  Megumi looked up as I
sat down.

"Ten, do you have something to say to Keiichi?"  Benten asked sternly.

"I'm sorry I toasted you Keiichi."

"Oh, that's OK, nothing's broken."

"I'd best go help Lum."  Megumi got up and walked into the kitchen.

Megumi and Lum returned with tea and Lum's cake.

"I hope you like it, it's my interpretation of a local recipe, a jalapeno
upside down cake, t'cha!"  Lum placed her masterpiece on the table.  "Ten, did
you apologize to Darling?"

"Yes I did."  Ten reached for the first piece.

The taste made my eyes water.  I could see little red and green specks that
must have been chunks of peppers throughout the cake.

Ten looked up from his piece.  "Lum, this taste, it's so light and
delicate!"

"Ten, you really like it, t'cha?"

I choked.

"Darling are you OK?"

I quickly chugged some tea to wash the taste out of my mouth.  "I'm fine,
this is great.  You've outdone yourself Lum."

"Darling, you've got some frosting on the side of your mouth.  To the
right, no your right Darling, t'cha."

"How can you make my cousin do this?  When she's a, when she's a..."  Ten
flew off sobbing.

I turned to Megumi, afraid of her reaction at seeing one of the aliens fly,
but she was carefully looking the other way.

"Bro, do you need some help with the motorcycle?"

"I'll help too."  Benten volunteered.

"Darling, I'm sorry about this, t'cha."

"It's OK Lum."  I held her hand for a moment.  "Why don't you go see about
Ten?"

Benten had just finished explaining the problem with the mounting to Megumi
when Tamiya and Otaki walked up with a large box and another motorcycle
frame.

"Morisato, we have something that will double the engine power like magic!"
Tamiya announced as he set the box down.

"It's a twin engine, right?"  I guessed, hoping it wasn't so.

"That's our Morisato!"

"Guys, a twin engine won't help the performance that much and it hurts the
handling."  I tried to talk my way out of it.

"Morisato!  We are drag racing heros!  We do whatever it takes, even if it
only improves our chances of winning by one percent, right?"  Tamiya shook
me as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Uh, OK, we'll try it."

"Are you guys still arguing about engines?"

Tamiya dropped me to turn to face Aoshima.  "Aoshima, here we have a
motor club and you go form a racing club!"

"I don't see the problem," Aoshima replied, "We race, you argue about
motors."

"Why are you here Aoshima?"  I asked, wiping my hands clean.

"Why, I've come to see the girl who will be mine.  Ah, Lum, you are radiant
as the morning star.  A goddess who has descended to show herself to this
unworthy mortal."

Lum had come out onto the porch.

"I know that there is nothing I can do to add to your radiance, but let me
make this feeble attempt.  Take these roses so that you might be even more
beautiful at my victory tomorrow.  Ah, to stand one moment at your side I
would gladly sink in the deep seas or be torn to pieces."

How about electrocution?, I thought.  Didn't she zap you good enough at the
beach?

"Why thank you, I think, t'cha?"

"Until tomorrow, then.  Parting is such sweet sorrow.  I won't let you back
out of the bet Tamiya."  Aoshima bowed to Lum and walked off.

"What was that about a bet, Tamiya?"  Benten started to finger her chain.

"Uh, I leave everything to you Morisato.  See you at the racetrack
tomorrow."  Tamiya and Otaki quickly left.

Benten turned to her friend.  "Lum, you'd best redo the equations quickly,
they've left a twin engine."

"Twin engine, t'cha?"

"This."  I opened the box.

Lum placed the roses to the side.  "Oh, they've got two engine units stuck
together.  Darling, how do they coordinate the two units, t'cha?"

I explained the principle and showed how the engine would be mounted in the
new frame.

Lum sketched out the frame and started to work out the dynamics.

"Is Ten OK?"  I asked her.

"Yes, Darling, I showed him how to use the TV, t'cha."  Lum went back to her
formulas.

"I'm going to get some more tea, anybody else want some?"  Megumi asked.

Benten and I agreed and Lum nodded.

Ten flew out.  "Say Keiichi, do you have any more videos like this?"

I blushed at the title of the tape he held out.  It seemed to be an all-girl
show.

"That's MY tape!"  Benten snatched it away from him.  "What gives you the
right to go through my things?"

"It was left in the VCR."

"Oops!  Sorry about that!"  Benten walked back to her room.

"OK, just put a subframe inside the main frame here and it should take the
power of the twin engine."  Lum looked up.  "Darling, where did everybody
go, t'cha?  And Ten, don't fly around like that, it makes Darling nervous."

Ten landed in Lum's arms just before Megumi came out with the tea.

Megumi, Benten and I set to work on assembling the bike.

Lum brought out some curry rice cakes, but my hands were too dirty and so
she held up one so I could eat it.  I noticed Ten watching us from the
doorway.

That evening I sat and looked at the completed motorcycle.  We had done it.
I just knew that this bike was a winner.

Ten walked out onto the porch and dropped onto the step.

"You look bored."  I suggested.

"Yeah, Benten's got a new type lock on her door, all of your magazines are
about motorcycles and now Megumi's napping so I can't watch TV."

"Sorry.  But other than that, what do you think of Earth?"

"It's nice enough, but I wouldn't want to live here.  Keiichi..."

"Yes?"

"What do you think of my cousin?"

"At first I didn't know what to think.  Lum drops in, says she's about to
invade and then that we're engaged.  But now..."

"Yes?"  Ten looked at me.

"Now I think that it's all a fantastic dream.  I'm sure I'm just about to
wake up.  But, as long as it lasts, I'm happy."

The next morning at the golden hammer festival, the sempai were all smiles
again.  "Neat!"  "Morisato, excellent, wonderful!"

"So, you've managed to put it together."  Aoshima knelt to get a better look
at the motorcycle.  "No way is this homebrew unit is going to beat us.  Lum,
I'll see you at our clubhouse after our victory."

"I'm sorry, but I'm having a victory celebration with Darling after the
match, t'cha."

"Didn't they tell you?"  Aoshima looked at the two sempai.  "You're joining
our club after we win this afternoon."

"They do not speak for me."  Lum's voice was cold, but not as cold as her
eyes.  "However, I'm willing to shake on it, to avoid unpleasantness,
t'cha?"

Aoshima took Lum's hand in both of his.  When will he ever learn?

"ZZZAAACK!"  Lum dropped Aoshima's lifeless hand.

I turned to Megumi.  I expected her to panic at the sight of the alien
powers, but she simply looked down on Aoshima with contempt.

Aoshima lay there and smoldered on the asphalt of the parking lot we were
using.  I thought that maybe his heart had given out, but then he stirred.
"W-w-what a woman."  He pulled himself up to unsteady feet.  "I'll see you
after our victory Lum."

I was in the first match, against another school.  I gunned it at the light,
curious about the full power of the twin engine.

The bike jumped up into a wheelie.  I let go of the gas and struggled to
keep it from flipping over.  The shear weight of the twin engine came to my
rescue and I managed to keep it within the marked lane, but the other bike
had pulled ahead.

Carefully I applied power and shot forwards, just edging out by a few feet.

Megumi came with the pace cycle to tow me back to the pit.  "What happened
there Bro?  Showing off?"

"No, I don't understand it."

Back at the pit, Lum jumped forwards to hug me.  "Darling, that was super!
You did it to show off for me, t'cha?"

"No, it's very strange.  Lum, could you calculate how much power this
engine has?"

"Sure thing Darling."  Lum took out her notebook, pencil and
calculator and worked out about the number I expected.  "Darling, is
something wrong, t'cha?"

"No, it just feels like it's got four times that power."

I looked over the bike, but could only find one thing out of place, the
carburetor was set to extra lean.  I reached up to adjust it.

"Keiichi, don't touch that dial!"  Benten grabbed my hand in hers.

"huh?"

"That's a lucky setting.  As the goddess of victory, I guarantee its
effectiveness."

"Sure, OK, I guess."

"Keiichi!"

"Yes Otaki?"

"You're up next."

"Ok."

In the next match, I gently nudged on the throttle and still jumped ahead of
the other bike, putting in a record time.

Aoshima's club also advanced, but their time was a full second behind mine.

I looked up the stands and saw the men in black suits.  What was the point?
In this crowd they stuck out like sore thumbs as they took careful notes.

As the match progressed, both teams from Nekomi Tech advanced.  It looked
like the final match would be between us.  That suited me.  I wanted to pay
Aoshima back for playing with Lum like that.

I worked on control.  My bike had plenty of power to spare and ran strangely
smoothly.

In the final match, I didn't even look at Aoshima's picked driver.  I
concentrated on keeping my magical steed under control.  I beat my own time
once again.

Lum threw herself in my arms and wrapped hers around me.  I just felt
hollow.  I hadn't won, the victory had been handed me.

"Darling, you were magnificent, t'cha!"

The judges approached, with grim expressions.  "Can we examine your
motorcycle, please?"

"Uh, sure."  I backed up a step.

Benten threw a sharp glare at Ten, but he just shrugged.

After a few minutes the judges stood up.  "Yes, all seems to be in order
here.  This is simply one of the best built machines I've seen in a long
time."

"The credit is all Lum's."  I placed her back on the ground.  "She designed
the bike, the rest of us just put it together."

"It's a honour to meet you young lady."

After the awards ceremony, Benten waved me away from the bike.  "You and Lum
go see the festival.  Megumi and I will put everything away."

"Oh, no I couldn't..."

"Did Lum make the victory today?"

"Yes, no question about it."

"And Lum, what do you want?"  Benten asked her.

"I want to see the festival with Darling, t'cha!"

"Then it's settled."

"Yeah, I guess so."  I took Lum's hand in mine and she carried Ten in her
other arm.

Lum stopped in front of a jewelry vendor.

"You'd like that ring, wouldn't you?"  I asked.

She nodded and blushed.

"Sure, you deserve it."  I reached for my wallet and discovered it wasn't
there.  "Sorry, I guess I left my money in my jacket."

"That's OK Darling, it's the thought that counts, t'cha."

"You can't even do something as simple as that for a girl!"  Ten sputtered
and flew into the air.  "I really do hate you!"

I held my arms in front of my face, but he just flew off.

"Ten, you come back here this instant!"  Lum ran off after him.

Back at the temple, Benten was very carefully draining the tank of the
race bike.  She looked up as I approached.  "Thank goodness those judges
didn't think to run a mass-spectrograph over this stuff, not that I saw any
restrictions on fuel in the rules."

"Is that stuff dangerous?"  I asked.

"Naw, the odds were 99 percent that it wouldn't explode.  It was pretty
scary when you about to flip it though, what with all those people in the
blast radius."

"S-sorry about that."

"Cheer up Keiichi.  After all, you've got to take some chances with the
goddess of luck, or why's life worth living?"

	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb
    And so Kamisami's replacement is...