There is a mild spoiler or two below for those who haven't seen beyond
the first few episodes.
At 04:58 PM 7/25/97 -0700, Captain Jack wrote:
Comments are welcome and encouraged.
well as always, I have to comment on all Eva fics...except Sailor Moon
crossovers. I vomit at that horrid series and it should never be
combined with as great a series as that of Neon Genesis.
I respectifully disagree; SM is more conventional, but is nonetheless
a great series, and is just about as intense as EVA, at least at series
endings (definately true for the 1st series, and I've heard this is
true for the 3rd). You should give it a chance, at least through
the Naru-chan/Nephrito (sp?) arc in the middle of the first series.
And anyway, Kotono probably wouldn't have gotten the Misato role
if not for her protrayal of Usagi in SM.
I'm doing this
as I read, so if I miss something, please tell me. and of course
comments on comments are welcome :)
"Of course, stupid Shinji," said Asuka from across the room as
Grammar? maybe say: Well of course Shinji. Are you stupid?
Asuka's tag line for Shinji is "Anta baka?" Anta -> rough female word
for you, baka -> stupid/idiot, can be fairly strong in Japanese. It's
generally rendered as "Are you stupid?", and it is what she'd likely
use at the point in the storyline in which this fic seems to be placed.
"Asuka split it into parts. The military weapons were able to
hold off the Angel's other segments long enough for us to defeat
them one at a time." While the actual combat hadn't gone as well as
the slightly edited version he gave to Kensuke, it still had gone
well. This battle didn't even involve any N2 mines.
Which angel is this? or are you creating a new one?
A new one, and the author hasn't seen or is ignoring episode #14.
He didn't quite understand what caused the second
impact, but he did know that this lecture was wrong.
Grammar: maybe say: ...but he did know everything the teacher taught
about it was wrong.
But that wouldn't be true; the *effects* are not in dispute: axil
tilt, flooding, and (although the foreground dialog only addressed
it tangentially) only one season (in Japan at least): summer. Not to
mention terrible human suffering and as many as half the people on
earth perishing.
"We have reason to believe that this Angel can separate into
three parts. So, be careful." Maya concluded her portion of the
briefing, and stepped back from the podium.
Have Misato give the entire briefing. She's the one who usually does
it. The debriefing usually is the one which more people speak.
Maya wouldn't; Ritsuko might join in, especially for technical/Angel
details. I can't remember if Makato (the male "bridge bunny" ^_^ with
glasses) gave pilot briefings, but he also would be up on technical
issues.
Shinji fired next, the rounds of his rifle bouncing off the Angel's AT
field.I hope those aren't "bullets." I believe the rifles use laser
pulses for ammo. Not too important, but it maybe something to remember
I seriously doubt that---the rounds are clearly shown to have a long
flight time, and GAINAX draws lasers as moving much faster. Given
NERV/JSDF positron beam weapon technology, it's unlikely they'd use
something as inefficient and low impact as a laser.
I think the rifles may be firing caseless ammo.
Without an AT field in the way, the knife was easily able
to cut into the Angel. The joint exploded in a shower of green blood,
and the Angel broke into three parts.
BTW: the prog knife can cut through an AT field. (episode 12)
First an EVA has to do its thing with its AT field; if that's not
done, or not done well enough, the prog knife won't cut through it
(episode <that would be telling> :-).
"Tell us about your great victory, Oh Captain Eva!" Touji said
as he mock bowed to Shinji.
sounds more like something Kensuke would say.
No, Touji would likely say that; Kensuke was more respectful....
Now for my own comment---I think this story needs a little more---perhaps
the dream sequence needs to be a little clearer in point, or something.
- Harold