On Fri, 18 Jul 1997, KOUMA RYODACHI wrote:

   Chapter 2: Strength in Numbers

   Telling Ranma about it might work. Shampoo shook her head. That 
was a stupid idea. When Cologne got her hooks into Ranma, it wouldn't 
matter if he knew about it or not. Shampoo knew what the old woman 
was truly capable of, and it scared her. If she said she was going to 
turn Ranma into a Niichieju, she was damned well probably going to 
succeed. 

At least temporarily.

   Shampoo needed help. Allies. Strength in numbers.
   Slowing her run, she realized she had neared Ucchan's Okonomiyaki. 
"Well, this good enough place to start. Spatula girl care about Ranma.
 She be willing to help, if believe Shampoo."

A big "if".

   "TWO!?" Ryouga shouted. "I thought you only had one..."
   Cologne chuckled dryly. "No, there are two. Unfortunately, only 

She's very lucky Ryouga's so gullible...

   Ryouga realized that Cologne's voice was sounding a lot more 
interesting to him, and his eyelids felt a little heavy. But he 
didn't let it bother him. He continued to listen.

Drugs in the ramen?

   "I can't afford to let Shampoo be my heir. But my other 
granddaughter--she's perfect. The only problem is, she's too perfect. 
Finding a husband suited to her isn't an easy task."
   Cologne bore her eyes into Ryouga's. "You, boy, are the only man I 
know of who comes anywhere near granddaughter's level of skill. So, 

Flatterer!

   "Back up here, sugar. What's the old ghoul got cookin'?" 
   "Great-grandmother choose new heir. Strongest heir. And pick 
husband for heir."
   "Yeah? So?"
   "She choose Ranma as heir."
   Ukyou blinked. "She..." Ukyou laughed. "Shampoo, your granny's 
lost it."

Why?  Ranma is a wonderful heir.  Okay, so his being part male is a 
little tricky...

   Ukyou frowned. "You mean to tell me, that you think Cologne can 
somehow get Ranchan to agree to being her heir, and marrying some guy?
"

As she started thinking about cross-dressing again and rushing over to 
the Nekohanten to apply for the job...

   Shampoo nodded. "Shampoo think if great-grandmother want it happen,
 it happen." She frowned. "But Shampoo fight it until Shampoo die. 
Wretched old woman already destroy Shampoo life. Shampoo no let her 
destroy more people life."

awww...

   Ukyou nodded, then frowned. "When we stop the old woman, you won't 
be chasing after Ranchan anymore will you?"
   Shampoo shook her head. "Shampoo no is Amazon anymore. No have 
place to call home, no have anything but what she wearing now. 
Shampoo no can ask Ranma to marry her when she have nothing to offer 
him."

Except her skills.  And he can get almost as good from rassen-frassen 
Spatula Girl, worse luck.

   Ukyou thought about it. "I think I know who you're talking about. 
It'd have to be either Tarou or Ryouga, right?"
   Shampoo nodded. "That right. And Tarou...he not likely to fall for 
any trick of great-grandmother, if she even find him. He too nasty."

	In more senses than one.  Even Cologne wouldn't stick poor 
Ranma-chan with that guy. 

   Ukyou's eyes widened. "But Ryouga's very gullible, and easy to 
manipulate."
   "Aiyah! Must be Ryouga then!"
   "Shampoo, we gotta find both Ranma and Ryouga and warn them."

Good plan, but a little too late.

   Ryouga nodded. "I think so." He frowned. "But...but what if she...
what if she doesn't want to have anything to do with me?"

After all, I turn into a pig.

   "She will. She'll like you. It'll be perfect."
   "Perfect..."
   "You'll have a wife who loves you, a family to call your own, the 
respect of an entire village."
   "Love....family...village..."

Does sound good.

   "So, son-in-law, are you with me or against me?"
   Ryouga's eyes became intense. "I'll do it. I will gladly marry 
your granddaughter."
   Cologne cackled. "Good boy."

Sorry, Ryouga, she's kinda spoken for...


SKJAM!