And a call was sent out onto the land...

I need prereaders. For the moment, it's specifically for one story, that
I just completed the 1st chapter and _really_ want feedback on before I 
send it to the FFML, but if the prereaders want, they can preread all 
my stories.

What's the story about? I sent a teaser on it about a week and a half
ago. It was called One Hundred Percent Woman, for those who remember.
I valued the feedback I got from that teaser, and now it's at a 
completed stage for prereading.


Anyway, here's another teaser for those who can't remember the first.
I tossed up just making up a scene, but decided that a true scene from
the fic would give people a better idea of what to expect:

+++++++++++

A chaotic, anarchic, roiling mass of humanity crashed like angry waves
against the counter of the school cafeteria. Seemingly random arms, and, in
some cases, legs, rose from the group of boys, who were each trying their
best to get food before the cafeteria ran out of meals. Screams rose from
the packed crowd; it was hard to tell whether the screams were of pain, or
of comraderic, joking delight.

This place was a madhouse.

And does that make me mad, for coming here? Ukyou wondered as he stared at
the shuffling horde of boys who were, through liberal use of elbows and
knees to non-fatal areas(stomach, heads, and groins), showing their
displeasure to each other at the cramped cafeteria food line.

"Last chance for soup bread!" The cafeteria worker cocked his arm, before
he cast the plastic packaged prize, a sandwich, into the air, aiming for
the middle of the hungry pack before him.

Ukyou turned. This was pointless, he'd heard of clan wars that were less
bloody than the lineup to get food around here. He could cook his own food,
he decided as he started to walk to the exit. There was an okonomiyaki
recipe he had been trying to perfect, he needed to practice on that. It
would serve well for lunch; far better, no doubt, than food created enmasse
by uncaring cafeteria cooks. There was nothing here he wanted.

"Ranma! How dare you steal my bread yet again!" a voice bellowed from
somewhere within the rowdy jumble of humanity behind Ukyou.

Ukyou froze. Mid-step. Which is far harder to do than some may think. He
stayed there for a second or two, one foot raised slightly onto the balls,
the other unsupported, half-way through coming down for the next step. His
eyes were wide, deer-caught-in-the-headlights wide, and his lips were
whitening from the way he was gnashing them together. Then, his eyes
narrowed. He completed his step, settling both feet flat to the floor.

The chef turned around smoothly, before he squinted for a few seconds at the
centre of the commotion. He slowly, calmly tapped the shoulder of a nearby
boy. The student turned, annoyed at the interruption to his view of the
brewing fight.

"Excuse me, what would the name be of that ponytailed boy?" Ukyou asked
politely, calmly.

"Him? Ranma." The boy was abrupt, he wanted to turn his attention back to
the commotion.

"And his family name?" The faintest quaver marred an otherwise dead-calm
voice.

The boy sighed. "Saotome, okay? If you want to play 20 questions, why don't
you do it with him?"

"Thank you." The slightest shink of metal rasping against a leather clasp,
as a giant spatula was drawn from its back-holster. "I will."

+++++++++++

(There was no mistake in use of gender pronouns in the above scene, BTW,
and it's one of the things I'll want opinions from the prereaders about.)

The premise? (All thanks to Merideth for sparking this idea) Simple as this:

What if Ukyou had gone to Ranma and Ryouga's boys school, instead of the
one Tsubasa was at, therefore remeeting Ranma long before Akane comes along?

And that's it. No huge rearranging of curses, like I normally do, that one
change is enough to give me quite a divergent story, I assure you.
Current estimate is 3 chapters to completion.

Anyway, like I said, I'd like some volunteers to preread, the sooner the
better. I've never really tried prereaders before, but this is a special
fic to me, and I want it to be all that it can be. I don't mind cruel 
prereaders, as long, of course, that you're being constructively cruel.

Zen's gonna kill me when he sees the 1st chapter. Oh, he might think he 
won't, but once he has read it, he'll kill me, trust me on that.

************  
Mark Doherty  -  mdoherty@mailbox.uq.edu.au
My fanfics and the Weekly FFML Synopses Lists are at:
http://www.uq.edu.au/~zzhdoher

"Kawaii must die."