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>From  <711788@ican.net>

                     Adrian Wong presents:
                                
      Not Quite Star-Crossed : The Tale of Ukyou and Ranma
          A Ranma 1 / 2 and Romeo and Juliet Crossover

All characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and some others that I don't know of.
This story copyright by Adrian Wong, 1997.

All C&C (not flames) will be welcomed :)

C A S T:

Clan Saotome includes:

Nodoka and Genma - Nodoka is a little bit harsher yet more modern at the same time, and
Genma is a lecher as well as the scum that he is in the manga.  They live in a much bigger house
with a luxurious dojo since they are rich.

Ranma - Have never been away from home since Genma couldn't con him (and the family
fortune) away from Nodoka.  A lot more sensitive and less bullish than the original Ranma.  A
student at some all-boys school in Nerima.

Kodachi - Ranma's cousin.  A vicious girl who hates the Kuonjis with a passion.  A student at
Furinkan High.

Tofu - A servant of the family who has practically watched Ranma grew up.


Clan Kuonji includes:

Mr. and Mrs. Kuonji - Concerned parents.  Loves Ukyou very much.  Indicated to be rich as
well.

Ukyou - Still quite boyish, but doesn't cross-dress since she hadn't been through what the
manga Ukyou had been through.  Had recently been dumped by a handsome boy called Konatsu
and was feeling moody and depressed.  A student at Furinkan High.

Kurumi - Ukyou's cousin, very much like the OVA Kurumi but not quite as strong.  Also, she is
more interested in boys than food.  A student at Furinkan High.

Others:

Shampoo - Ukyou's best friend, a flirtatious Amazon fighter as in the manga.

Sister Hinako - The one who Ukyou always turns to for advice.

Akane Tendo - Engaged to Ranma by their clans.  Very much like the manga Akane.  A student
at Furinkan High.

Soun Tendo - Akane's father who pushed her to marry Ranma.

Tatewaki - Narrator at the beginning and the end.  A student at Furinkan High.

Principal - The principal of Furinkan High.

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P A R T    2

[Shows a luxurious indoor swimming pool of a five-star hotel.  Sitting at a table somewhere
beside the swimming pool was Nodoka, wearing a pair of sun-glasses and a stylistic, black
evening grown.  Together with her around the table Soun, who was in a business suit, and a
pretty looking, short haired girl in a frilly yellow dress.]
 
Soun [in a pleading tone]: Come now, Nodoka-san.  What is holding you back?  Saotome-kun
and I had waited years for this union between our children to be formalized.

Akane [mutters to herself sullenly]: I hate boys.  They all know that I absolutely HATE boys. 
Not that they care of course . . . 

Nodoka [smiling politely to Soun as she obliviously ignores Akane]: What I've said before for an
entire year: my son is still very much a stranger to the fairer sex.  If you would be patient enough
to wait another year or so, I'm sure he shall be ready to carry out his duties to his clan by then.

Akane [looks disgusted]: Great!  Not only is he a boy, but a complete square of a boy at that.

Soun [obliviously ignoring her as he speaks to Nodoka ]: Younger than him are happy fathers
made.

Nodoka [her smile leaves her eyes as she stared meaningfully at Soun]: And high-school drop-outs are those so early made.

[Soun laughs with embarrassment as Akane nodded in agreement.]

Nodoka: But, this night at my husband's humble dojo, we shall hold a grand masquerade party to
celebrate the coming of spring. [turns to Akane with a mysterious smile] Handsome, virile
fighters of every martial arts clan in Nerima are invited.  Think you would be interested, Akane-chan?

Akane [with exasperation]: Auntie!  I told you, I don't like boys-

Nodoka [cutting her off with an appreciative smile and a clap]: You clan has indeed succeeded
in grooming you into a proper, virginal, traditional girl, Akane-chan.  Now I'm sure that my only
son will be well taken care of once the engagement is formalized!

[Akane groaned to herself as Soun joined Nodoka in praising her about her "virginal qualities". ]
      
[Cuts to the inside of an ice-cream parlour, where Ukyou and Kurumi are having milkshake
together at a corner table.]

Ukyou [after sipping her milkshake from a straw]: I can't believe that I would have let you drag
me here. 

Kurumi [as she drools over a cute looking waiter that is currently serving another table.]: Stop
sulking, cousin.  Doesn't this place offer a MUCH better view than what that run-down little
park has got?

[Ukyou simply looks moodily out the glass window.  Kurumi sees this out of the corner of her
eyes and turns back to her.] 

Kurumi: Really, cousin.  Who is it that you love?

Ukyou [turning back to her]: Really, cousin.  I do love a boy.

Kurumi: Anyone at our school?

Ukyou: Not really.  But you've seen him hanging out  with me, though.

Kurumi: I don't think I've seen you hanging out with anyone MALE before.

Ukyou [looking slightly peeved]: Hint: high ponytail, heavy bangs parting in the middle-

Kurumi: Oh, Herb!  That gorgeous Chinese exchange student at Seisyun High.  No wonder it
doesn't work out: he decided to leave you to go back to his so-called "kingdom" back in China
to inherit his throne, didn't he?

[She takes a sip from her milkshake.]

Ukyou [sighing]: Guess again.  More hints: dark hair, red ninja outfit-

[Ukyou was rudely interrupt as she has to duck below the shot of chocolate milkshake that
Kurumi had abruptly spat out.]
 
Kurumi [coughing a bit]: You've been <cough, cough> brooding all this <cough> time over that
. . . that . . . transvestite ninja?!

Ukyou [looks insulted]: Hey, give him some credit!  Konatsu's still a real man on the physical
side, you know.  Besides, he has become REALLY cute once I've rescued him from his
perverted step-mother and sisters, and he gets that waiter job and starts dressing in men's
clothing.
 
Kurumi [looks skeptical]: Un-hun . . . so what causes the breakup? 

Ukyou: He . . . he wants to be a priest.

Kurumi [looking surprised]: I have always thought that he would be kind of show-biz oriented,
with him singing out his past sorrows in that flawless voice of his all the time.  But if he has
become as handsome as you said he has become, will he STILL choose to be a celibate priest?

Ukyou [sighing]: He will, and in doing so, condemns us to forever being "just friends".

Kurumi: Tell you what, cousin: just forget about  him.

Ukyou [sulking]: Do that and I'll forget how to think as well!

Kurumi: Cousin Ukyou!  Open your eyes and look around [gestures to a group of muscle-bound
teens walking by the glass window].  Check out some other studs!

[Ukyou looked disgusted as she "checks out" some of those so called "studs".]

Kurumi [looking incredulously at her expression to those rippling muscles.]: Why Ukyou!  Are
you mad?!  How could you like Konatsu and not those . . . MEN?!

Ukyou [exasperated]: I don't want just ANY man!  I want KONATSU!  All the others are
nothing but lewd, bullish, inconsiderate, insensitive, ugly animals who call themselves- [notices
the cute waiter passing by and waves him over] Hey, sugar!  Can I have the bill?

 [Kurumi blinks as Ukyou pays the waiter with a feminine, cute smile.  Just then, the television
in the ice-cream parlour shows an interesting commercial.]

Flamboyant Looking Announcer [speaking from the TV screen]: Alright Nerima!  The night has
come for the 108 th annual spring masquerade party to take place at the Saotome Dojo.  All . . .
well, all but one martial arts clans of Nerima are welcome to participate in this WILD,
FABULOUS night of non-stop entertainment . . .

[As the announcer rants on, Kurumi laid a hand on Ukyou's shoulder.]

Kurumi [in excited voice]: A gathering of ALL the martial arts clans in the area . . . do you know
what that means, cousin?

Ukyou: What?  

Kurumi: It means that the ninja of the century, the one of whom you loves so, will surely be at
the party as well!

Ukyou: You're not thinking of going to that party are you?  I don't think I can face him  . . . yet.

Kurumi: Oh, but you must!  For this is the party where ALL the cutest martial arts guys of
Nerima is going to show - [notices that Ukyou is already walking out of the parlour] Ukyou!

[Kurumi immediately catches up with her.]

Ukyou [turning to her]: I told you: I'm NOT interes-

Kurumi [cuts her off with a smug look on her eyes]: Go there, and with unbiased eyes compare
his face to some that I shall show, you I'll show your prince to be . . . a FROG.    

Ukyou [smirking]: You're on, girl.  No such sight to be shown, but I can still rejoice in splendour
of my own.

Kurumi [giggling]: You've studied too hard for that Shakespearian poetry contest. 

[With that, the girls left the scene as they laughed and giggled together.]

[Cuts to the exterior of the grand, traditional looking Saotome household with Genma looking
out a window, then abruptly SOOMED in on his ravenous mouth.]

Genma [yelling]: RANNMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
 
[Pans back a bit to show Genma, now in nothing but an open bathrobe and a pair of boxers,
looking disgusted as he frantically looked out the window.  He then quickly turns around, runs
through the hallway, and ran quickly into the dinning room.] 

Genma [yelling as he ran]: Ranma!  RANMA!  RANNMMMAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Several serving women let out timid little screams, and Genma looks down and quickly
crutched  up the bathrobe together with his hands, grad that most of the servants are now at the
dojo setting things up for the party.  He keeps looking around the room with frantic turns of his
head, looking for his son.  A servant in his twenties steps into the room, catching his eyes.]

Genma: Tofu!

Tofu [slightly startled by Genma's neurotic state as he walks over]: Is everything alright, master?

Genma: Not quite!  Where is my son?!  Get him to me!

Tofu: Well, actually, I don't really know-

Genma [cuts him off with impatience]: Then FIND him for me!   RANMAA!!!!!

[With that, he runs off  to some other parts of the house, fling open doors as he does so.  Tofu
sighed, and goes off in search of Ranma as well.]

Tofu: Ranma-kun!!

[Cuts to an underwater shot of Ranma pushing his shoulder-length hair out of his view with one
hand as he curiously observed a particularly large koi swimming lazily in front of his  face.]

[Cuts to Genma, how holding a microphone in his hand as he stood on top of the house's roof.]

Genma:RANMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~~

[Cuts back to Ranma, who pulls his head out of the swimming pool-sized koi pound in the
garden as he hears his father's voice even through the water.]

[Cuts back to inside the living room, where Tofu is still running around, looking for him.]

Tofu (yelling): Ranma-kun!!!!

[A dripping wet Ranma suddenly appears right behind him.]

Ranma (looking casual): I'm here, Tofu.  What's the matter?

[Before Tofu could have answered him, Genma suddenly rushes into the room.  And together,
the two men drags the startled Ranma up to Genma's room.  Once they have gotten inside,
Genma suddenly pushes Tofu out the door. ]

Genma: Wait outside, Tofu.  Us father and son have to talk in secret!

[He slams and door shut on Tofu's face, turns around, and sees Ranma glaring at his rudeness. 
He gasps, and immediately opens the door again, revealing the still startled Tofu.]

Genma [grabbing Tofu's arm and dragging him inside]: Tofu!  Come back again! [pushing Tofu
in front of him as he smiles uneasily at Ranma] My son would treasure your opinion in this
anyhow, heheheheh . . .

[Ranma rolls his eyes at his father's neurotic state as Tofu simply looks confused.]

Genma [flings his bathrobe at Tofu without even looking as he studies Ranma
appreciatively]:Ah, anyway . . .Tofu, don't you think that my son has grown up to be quite
MANLY?

[Tofu takes in the slight lack of height, the agile, slender built, the delicate chin, the large eyes,
the lack of facial hair . . . so on, so on . . . and replies.]

Tofu: He's the manliest teenage boy that I know of.

Ranma (rubs the back of his head with a slightly arrogant but shy expression on his face): Heh . .
.

Genma (as he pours himself a glass of brandy from the bar and drowns it): Why, I was your
<gulp> father very much around this age <gulp, gulp>.

[Ranma turns to him and blinks.]

Tofu [as he speculates Genma's completely bald head and bloated figure]: And it certainly
shows . . . 

Genma [burping a bit]: Arrg!  Tonight is going to be YOUR night, boy! 

[Picking up a Furinkan High yearbook laying on a desk, he opens it and flips it around for
Ranma to see.  On the page was the student profile of the girl's kempo club captain of Furinkan
High, who is of course, Akane.]

Genma: Look at this!  Your beauteous fiancee by birth now seeks you for her  <drawls
lecherously as he shoves the picture in Ranma's face.> LOVE.  

[Ranma looks at the picture and blinks.]

Tofu [cutting in]: A stunning girl, Ranma-kun.  Why, she's such a beauty that- 

Genma [cutting in]: Mortal words fail to describe this virginal orchid in her first flower of youth. 
 
Tofu : Yes, she's this unearthly angel descending from the heavens for-

Genma [cutting in]: YOUR love, lucky boy!  This night she shall come to our dojo for our grand
party, during which you can look upon the figure of young Akane and finds . . . innocence there 
[closing the book and begins walking toward a full-length mirror as servant carrying parts of a
costume appears and starts putting them on him.] a virtuous child, an untouched virgin at her
most precious, waiting to be claimed, slender arms shivering at the lightest touch, ample bosoms
<skips 100 words to prevent this from turning into a lemon fic as he continues to exaggerate
Akane's assets in hopes of arousing Ranma's interest> and so one shall become two [wearing a
panda suit over his body, he turns back to Ranma and grins greedily at him] after two becoming
one!  Then you shall share, all that her clan has, by making our clan . . . no less!  He-heh . . .

[Ranma simply looks up at him and blinks, as if not buying a word that he says. Turning away in
disgust, Genma has his servants put on the panda-mask for him.] 

Tofu [turning to Ranma]: That may be, boy.  A man's greatness is related to the magnificence of
his woman. 

[Ranma chuckles a bit at  hearing that, then turns to study  his father as he begins to go through
some standard panda imitation.  Ranma sweated as his father grabs a ball and starts rolling on
his back.   Noticing Ranma's gaze on him, the man turns panda holds up a sign.]

Genma-panda: [ Speak briefly, will you look to young Akane's love?]

Ranma [shrugging with a smirk]: I'll see if she catches my eyes or not, or if I can get to like her
as a girlfriend.  But I can't promising anything from such a vague description of her . . . a
description given by YOU at that . . .

[The panda's ears actually stooped (don't ask me how) at hearing that.  Just then, another servant
comes into the room.]

Servant: Master, the guests are arriving.

Genma-panda: Growf! [Go!  I'll follow you!]

[With that, Genma and the servants (excluding Tofu) all matches out of the room.  Before
Genma leaves, however, he/it flings a sigh at Ranma, which he narrowly catches.  Ranma reads
the sign.]

Genma-panda [As he/it slams the door shut]: Growf!! [Just remember about your HONOUR for
tonight!]

[Sighing annoyance, Ranma tossed the sign away.  Just then, Tofu speaks up.]

Tofu [smiling as he patted Ranma on the shoulder]: Loosen up, my boy.  This might be fun party
after all.

[With that, he leaves the scene.  Ranma shakes his head, and turns to look outside the window.
At the front lawn, fireworks are being set off, drawing bright coloured lines onto the darkening
sky . ]

KA-BOOM!!!!!!

                         End Part 2    
                                
>From Adrian Wong  <711788@ican.net>
July 23, 1997.