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                     Adrian Wong presents:
                                
      Not Quite Star-Crossed : The Tale of Ukyou and Ranma
            A Ranma « and Romeo and Juliet Crossover

All characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi and some others that I don't know of.
This story copyright by Adrian Wong, 1997.

C A S T:

Clan Saotome includes:

Nodoka and Genma - Nodoka is a little bit harsher yet more modern at the same time, and
Genma is a lecher as well as the scum that he is in the manga.  They live in a much bigger house
with a luxurious dojo since they are rich.

Ranma - Have never been away from home since Genma couldn't con him (and the family
fortune) away from Nodoka.  A lot more sensitive and less bullish than the original Ranma.  A
student at some all-boys school in Nerima.

Kodachi - Ranma's cousin.  A vicious girl who hates the Kuonjis with a passion.  A student at
Furinkan High.

Tofu - A servant of the family who has practically watched Ranma grew up.


Clan Kuonji includes:

Mr. and Mrs. Kuonji - Concerned parents.  Loves Ukyou very much.  Indicated to be rich as
well.

Ukyou - Still quite boyish, but doesn't cross-dress since she hadn't been through what the
manga Ukyou had been through.  Had recently been dumped by a handsome boy called Konatsu
and was feeling moody and depressed.  A student at Furinkan High.

Kurumi - Ukyou's cousin, very much like the OVA Kurumi but not quite as strong.  Also, she is
more interested in boys than food.  A student at Furinkan High.

Others:

Shampoo - Ukyou's best friend, a flirtatious Amazon fighter as in the manga.

Sister Hinako - The one who Ukyou always turns to for advice.

Akane Tendo - Engaged to Ranma by their clans.  Very much like the manga Akane.  A student
at Furinkan High.

Soun Tendo - Akane's father who pushed her to marry Ranma.

Tatewaki - Narrator at the beginning and the end.  A student at Furinkan High.

Principal - The principal of Furinkan High.

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P A R T    I

[A hallway in Furinkan High, right after the classes have ended.  All the students are chattering,
joking, laughing loudly as they pile out of their classrooms.  Everything appears normal enough
for a high-school scene.  Yet if one looks closer, he/she would have found that most of the
students are actually divided into two groups, each cooly ignoring the members of the other as
they head in opposite directions to exit the hallway.  Leaning against a window stands a tall
young man, whose soliloquy starts off the play at he stares at the potentially unnerving scene
with melancholic eyes . . . and a raised Japanese fan in his hand.  Dramatic music could be heard
in the background.]

Tatewaki: Two Households, both alike in dignity,
[Shows close up shots of the towering front gates of the Saotome Dojo and the Kuonji Dojo
respectively.] 

     In fair Nerima where we laid our scene.
[Pans back to show all of Nerima, with the Saotome Dojo and The Kuonji Dojo each at an
opposite end of the ward.] 
     
     From ancient grudge,
[Shows a medieval scene in which a poor Saotome man (not Genma) and a poor Kuonji man
(not Ukyou's dad) engaging their son and daughter at a tender age.  Once the Saotome man (not
Genma) gets the dowry, a yatai,  he immediately runs off carrying his young son on it and left the
teary Kuonji daughter (not Ukyou) behind.  After a rapid series of scenes showing the passing of
years, the now adult  Kuonji daughter (not Ukyou)  has grown up to be a spatula carrying
woman-warrior.  She goes to the Saotome household at night, finds the Saotome man (not
Genma),  and fries him like an okonomiyaki.  After she leaves the scene, the Saotome household
wakes up to see the fried up Saotome man (not Genma) on the ground.  The teary Mrs. Saotome
(not Nodoka) immediately orders her son (not Ranma) to avenge his father, an order which he
obeys.  From then on, the official feud between the families begins.]

     Breaks into new mutiny.
[Shows that while the two households increases in size and power as generations passed by, so
does the grudge between them, as other households that are linked to either of them by marriage
get into the conflict as well.]

     Where civil blood,
[Shows the historic battles between the fighters of both sides on the battle field.]

     Makes civil hands unclean.
[Shows the modern day battles between the fighters of both sides at the school yard.]

[Cuts back to Tatewaki.  Looking at the two opposing groups of students with disdain, he turns
around and leaps out of the window like a ninja . . . only to land through the fragile roof the girls
changing room right underneath him.  Cries of "hentai" and "baka", combined with the sounds
of baseball bats being used against human skull, could be heard from outside the room.]
           
[Pans back to the Furinkan School yard.  The *Kuonji girls*, a cute girl with a repeatedly
braided ribbon tied around spiky hair and two other plain looking girls,  are looking toward the
changing room, where the sounds of violence and pain are coming from.]

K-Girl 1 : Got to admit, that poetry spouting retard DO know how to spice up the tedious
atmosphere of this school. 

K-Girl 2 : The victim of bad genes from the Saotome side, where NOTHING good ever comes
out of . . .

K-Girl 1 : Saotome . . . what a loser of a clan.

Kurumi [looking unnerved due to her peers' blind hatred] : Before you two keep on insulting
them, just remember that the quarrel is between the heads of our clans ONLY.

K-Girl 1 & 2 [both laughing]: Who cares?  It's so much fun to make fun of those losers!
  
Kurumi [sighed in resignation, then suddenly realizing that she had forgotten about her school
bag] : Oh, my schoolbag! Be back in a second. [She runs back toward the school building.]

K-Girl 2 [as she waved her hand dismissively] : We'll wait. 

[Just then, two Saotome girls came into the scene.   They walked over to the Kuonji girls in
threatening steps.]

S-Girl 1 [looking evil]: So, is it just me, or did I hear somebody mouthing off about the Saotome
clan?

K-Girl 1 [looking smug]: Unless you have inherited the brain deterioration from one of the
Saotome's sub-clans, I believe that it was *I* that you heard.

[K-Girl 2 giggled at hearing that]

S-Girl 1 [looked angry as she whipped out a knife]: You'll pay for that remark, she-dog!

K-Girl 1 [looked evil as she took a somewhat amateurish  stance]: Make my day,
she-SAOTOME (pronounced with scorn)!

[With that, they fought.  S-Girl 1 swiped at K-Girl 1 with the knife and missed.  As she was
recoiling, K-Girl 1 shot out at her with a kick that sliced a cut on her dress.  A close up of K-Girl
1's outstretched foot showed a *sharp blade* sticking out from the toe of the shoe.   Meanwhile,
S-Girl 2 took out a baseball bat and advanced upon K-Girl 2, who whipped out a length of chain
to counter attack.  Suddenly a blur darts between the fighting girls, skilfully pushing them off
each other.  The blur then lands in a stance in front of all four of them.] 

Kurumi [a look of righteousness on her face as she made silly poses]: The schoolyard is a place
for recreation.  To use it for gang fight will not be tolerated!  For that matter, bring illegal
weapons into the school area is . . .   

[As she ranted on, the Saotome girls glared daggers at her, but didn't say anything since she was
obviously much better than the two of them combined.  The Kuonji girls just looked slightly
peeved.]

K-Girl 1:  Hey, sis.  Keep this goodie-two-shoes act up and somebody will probably say to you-

[Suddenly, pierces  of Black Rose petals drifted by, cutting her off]

Mysterious, beautiful voice: Hmph, if it isn't another girl who have watched too much
Sailormoon.

[Everybody turns to a tall girl, who is leaning against a tree some distance behind them all.  Her
back is to them, but the high ponytail, braided to one side, immediately gave away her identity.
A slow, eerie music could be heard.]

K-Girl 2 [hissing]: Kodachi!

Kurumi [protesting]: Hey! I'm just trying to make peace here!

Kodachi [now turning over a bit to look at Kurumi, exposing her beautiful profile as she spoke
up in contempt]: Peace? I hate the word. As much as I hate roaches . . . Kuonjis . . . and YOU.

[With that, Kodachi rapidly swings around and flings a hoop at Kurumi, who leapt over it.  The
sailing hoop sliced a tree in half and dropped to the ground, it razor edge glinting under the
sunlight.  The Kuonji girls, as well as the Saotome girls, immediately backed away: they knew
that it isn't healthy for non-martial artists to be to close to the "Gymnastic Weapon Master"
when she is fighting.  Kodachi takes out her ribbon and whipped it repeatedly at Kurumi, who
dodges with much more difficulty this time.]

Kodachi [laughing with abandonment as her ribbon slashed back and forth like a whip]:
Hohohohohohohohoho!!  Take this, Kuonji minx!!!!

Kurumi [getting fed up]: That's it!  Two can play at this game!

[She reaches behind and pulled off the repeatedly braided ribbon around her head and whips it at
Kodachi, who narrowly dodged.  The two girls continue to fight, hair-ribbon against gymnastic
ribbon.]

Kurumi [looking mad as she lashed out with her ribbon]: You prototype of a bad girl!

Kodachi [looking equally mad as her ribbon formed a vortex]: You dim-wit airhead created for
an uninspired OVA!  

[Cuts to a Hawaii-style room, where a man in a Hawaii-style get-up is watching this through the
monitor.  He is the Princ. . . ciple of Furinkan High.  As he watched, an explosive ball used by
Kodachi hit the side of the school building.  The explosion started a fire as students fee from the
school building in horror..] 

Principle [roaring in anger]: NO!  There goes my Hawaii Vacation budget! 

[He dials the phone on his table.]

[Cuts to a luxurious limo with the Kuonji logo racing toward Furinkan High.  In the master's
seats sat Mr.  and Mrs. Kuonji.  The man was listening to a walkie-talkie with an angry
expression.  After a while, he threw down the walkie-talkie with a loud grunt. The limo stopped
right outside of Furinkan High, right beside another limo with the Saotome logo on it.  Saotome
Genma came out of the limo, and shot a dirty look at Mr. Kuonji as he stepped into the
schoolyard.]

Mr. Kuonji [glares at the Saotome as he angrily reached for his giant spatula]: Give me my
spatula!

[His hand was stopped by that of Mrs. Kuonji.]

Mrs. Kuonji [chiding him with a seriousness expression]: You will NOT raise a hand to start
another fight.

[Cuts to the partially demolished school yard, where Kurumi and Kodachi had each wrapped
their ribbon against the other's neck, and are both trying to "out-strangle" the other as they pulls
in opposite directions.  The wall behind them was bursting in flame, creating a dramatic
background for the combatants.]

Kurumi/Kodachi: GRRRRRR!!!!!!!

[Just then, the Principal, now flanked by the entire staff, matched up to the two as the staff
surrounded them.  The girls blinked at seeing them.]

Principal [roaring through a microphone]: DROP YOUR WEAPONS NOW!  BOTH OF YOU!!

[The two girls reluctantly obliged.  Meanwhile, the staffs begin to put out the fire on the exterior
wall of the school building with hoses. Standing some distance away, Mr. Saotome and Mr.
Kuonji were glaring daggers at each other.]

[Cuts to the Hawaii-style Principal's office, in which the Principal is glaring (from beneath his
sunglasses) at the two standing girls from behind his desk.  Mr. Kuonji is standing beside the
sheepish looking Kurumi while Genma is standing beside the peevish looking Kodachi.]

Principal: Three schoolyard fights . . . three schoolyard fights in A MONTH!! [slams a fist onto
his table] Three times this month has this stupid feud between your clans bring property damage
to the school. [glares psychotically at all of them] If EVER do I see the fighters of your clans
fighting at MY school yard again [whips out a pair of shears], their HAIR will pay the price.  IS
THAT CLEAR?!

Kurumi/Kodachi :  Yes, sir.   
  
[Cuts to inside the Kuonji limo that is now moving on a street.  Mr. Kuonji, Mrs. Kuonji, and
Kurumi are sitting together in an uncomfortable silence.  Finally, Mrs. Kuonji speaks up in a
worried voice.]

Mrs. Kuonji: Where is Ukyou?  Didn't you see her at school?

[Kurumi was about to reply, but Mrs. Kuonji cuts her off.]

Mrs. Kuonji: Oh!  How glad I am that she wasn't at this fight!

Kurumi: She has a last period spare, Auntie.  That's why she had left earlier than all the rest of
us.  My poor, lovesick cousin . . .  probably brooding at  the Nerima park again, no doubt.

Mr. Kuonji [sighing]: My poor little girl . . . it has been weeks already, and still she isn't over
that boy yet.      

Mrs. Kuonji [looking teary]: Locking herself inside her own private kitchen where she eats and
sleep as soon as she gets home, practising her okonomiyaki skills all through the night, without
even once allowing us get her out of her depression . . .

Kurumi [sighed]: If only cousin Ukyou can stop centring her life around that mystery boy whose
name she hadn't even tell ME about for all this time . . .     

[At this point, the car stopped right in front of the Nerima park.  On a thick branch of a towering
tree sits a girl facing away from them.   Her rich, long hair is floating in the wind, glistering
under the late afternoon sun as it blushes against the spatula strapped to her back.  In her hands ,
she holds a pen and an English notebook, on which she was writing down something.]

Ukyou: Why then 
     O'brawling love, O' loving hate,  
     O' anything of nothing first create.
     Heavy lightness, serious vanity,
     Mishaps and chaos of well seaming forms.
     Feather of lead-

[Turning her head around slightly, she took a moody look down at the Kuonji limo, then turned
her attention back to her poetry homework.  The Kuonji parents looked disappointed as Kurumi
looked slightly peeved.  Meanwhile, a loving couple passed by from below the tree, and even
though her parents couldn't see her face, they could see her tensing up on impulse.]

Mr. Kuonji [sighing to himself as he looked meaningfully at Kurumi]: I guess us old bones really
couldn't be much help in solving a teenage girl's boyfriend problems.

Kurumi [as she stepped off the car]: So will you two please go home first and let us have our girl
talk.

[She then leans over to the limo window and smiled reassuringly at the Kuonjis.]

Kurumi: Don't worry, by the time I'm done with her, she'll be back to her old, carefree self.

[The Kuonji parents look pleased to hear that.  Mr. Kuonji turns to his still somewhat worried
wife.]

Mr. Kuonji: Come, madam.  Away we go.

[With a signal to the driver, the Kuonji parents leaves the scene in their limo.  Kurumi ran up to
the tree and propelled herself up to the tree branch that Ukyou was sitting on.]

Kurumi [smiling down at her]: Good morning, cousin.

Ukyou [turning to her with a bored look as she gestured to the sun]: Does THIS look like the
morning's sunrise?

Kurumi [shrugging with a smirk]: Just trying to see if you can still tell a sunrise from a sunset,
being in your own self-imposed depression.

Ukyou [sighs, then changes the subject]: Is it my parents that sent you here?

Kurumi: It is.

[Turning away from Kurumi, Ukyou grabs her notebook and pens and leapt off the tree branch to
land lightly on the ground below her.  Kurumi quickly follows her.]

Kurumi [running after Ukyou]: Cousin!  That's rude

Ukyou [keeps striding on without slowing down]: Don't take it personally, sugar.  A girl is
BOUND to be somewhat hostile after finding out the true, bitter nature of love.

[Kurumi leaps over Ukyou and lands facing her]

Kurumi [innocently]: Cousin, then you're finding out the wrong truth!  Love is supposed to be
sweet, not bitter.

Ukyou [clapping her hands on Kurumi's shoulders and speaks with much frustration as she stares
into her eyes]: Only when you still HAVE the love can you feel it's sweetness, Kurumi-chan.  As
it leaves you, that same love kills off all that sweet joy that it had granted in the past, forever
replacing it . . . with bitter pain.

Kurumi: Will that same love that grants you all that pleasure brings pain to you as well?  It just
doesn't make sense.

Ukyou: Nothing makes sense in this world, little cousin.  You'll find out soon enough.  

[With that, she propels herself upward and away from Kurumi.]

Kurumi [clearly startled]: Cousin!

Ukyou [ignoring her as she leaps away from tree-branch to tree-branch]: Later, Kurumi-chan!

Kurumi [begins to chase after her as she pouted]: Cousin Ukyou!  If you leave me now just like
that, you do me wrong!

                           End Part 1