Subject: Re: [FFML] [FFML] [FF] [VGAi] Starting Over Again . . . .
From: jeffwong@li.net (OneShot)
Date: 7/21/1997, 2:49 PM
To: miyaka@juno.com (Miyaka Yuuki)
CC: fanfic@fanfic.com
Reply-to:
jeffwong@li.net

On Sat, 19 Jul 1997 16:58:41 EDT, you wrote:

I'm not that great of a C&Cer, but I'll try my best. I'll jus' comment on what I
thought and felt as I read the story.

Video Girl Ai:
Starting Over Again . . . . 

I like the title. It seems appropriate for a VGAI title...

	After Ai came along, Moemi had noticed that her time with
Motenuchi-kun was becoming less and less.  Moemi didn't like that.  After
all, Motenuchi-kun was her best friend, and besides, she had so many
problems dealing with Niimai-kun lately.  

After readin' that line, you got me wonderin' what kinda problems. Of course, I
assumed it was the same as throughout the series...

	The problems in her love life had started a little over a week
ago, and had only gone downhill from there.  It began with Niimai-kun
telling her that he wasn't sure how he felt about her . . . . 

	"Moemi-chan?  There's something we need to discuss . . . ." 

Oh oh, the words no one in love wants to hear...that and 'I think we need a
little talk' ;)

Takashi's voice trailed off, but his expression seemed grim to Moemi. 

Typical of Takashi...

She steeled herself.  They had been having difficulties lately, but
nothing that they couldn't overcome.  He probably had some problem that
wasn't really related to her to talk about.

I'm not too sure about this last sentence. It seem a bit odd, as if it doesn't
sound right...I'm not implyin' on what it meant, but on how it was worded.

	"Of course, Niimai-kun.  What is it?"  She sat in his house, her
hands folded demurely on her lap.  It was wonderful just being near him. 
But sometimes, just sometimes, she wished for a little more.  She wished
that he would hold her, would kiss her.  She wished he would treat her
more like a girlfriend.  No matter, though.  She would do everything in
her power to make sure that he loved her.  
	"How do I say this to you?"  The words were muttered; she could
barely hear them.  But all the same, she had a bad feeling about this. 
And that feeling was only compounded when she saw the look on his face. 
It was pale, sad.  "Moemi-chan, I've been looking at my feelings again. 
I . . . I don't know what to tell you."
	She didn't need him to continue.  She had been half-expecting
this for some time, unable to quite believe it but at the same time
knowing it was true.  "You don't love me, do you?"  It was a whisper,
barely spoken, barely believed.  But it was said, nonetheless.

I really liked that last line, especially that barely spoken, barely believed.
Great usage of words :)

	"Moemi . . . ."  The name trailed off, and she noticed that he
didn't place the endearment at the end of it.  That hurt.  "I's nothing
to do with you.  You're a sweet, very wonderful girl.  I'm just not
attracted to anyone right now.  It would be a disservice  to you to
continue this relationship under such conditions.  What more can I say?"
	She nodded once, and stood.  In utter silence, she gathered up
her belongings and left the house, walking for a long time before she
headed for home.

It would have been nice to elaborate on exactly what she was feelin' before
headin' home...

	That had started it.  She wanted to at least remain friends. 

Started what? The downhill problems? I had to read that twice before I
understood it...

They had all been friends once upon a time.  Before Ai had come, and
before Motenuchi-kun had started ignoring her.  Before her fiasco with

Ignoring who Ai or Moemi ;)

Niimai.  But she didn't know if she could remain friends.  It was so hard
even passing him in the street.  
	And then, one day, he called her.  It was out of the blue.  She
had not expected to hear from him again, much less so soon.  But when she
answered her phone, there was his voice, talking quietly and calmly about
how he would like to see her, to see how she was doing. 
	She answered as he had expected.  She would be delighted for him
to visit.  She set the time for the next day, and then she left her
house, going on a walk.  She couldn't explain why she had chosen to allow
him to visit.  Perhaps it was the fact that she still loved him so very
much, or the fact that she had wanted to remain friends so badly.  All
she knew was that he was coming over for lunch the very next day, and she
already was scared silly.

Those two paragraphs confused me quite a bit. For some reason I thought it was
Motenuchi-kun that called. You might wanna mention jus' once that it was Niimai
callin', jus to keep people like me from becomin' confused :)


	The next morning, she went to the market, buying all sorts of
foodstuffs to prepare.  Only Niimai-k . . .  Only Niimai's favourites

Huh? Why would Moemi be makin' Moutenuchi Niimai's favorite meal? That was what
I was thinkin' when I read it. I had to go back a few paragraphs before I
realized it had been Niimai on the phone instead of moutenuchi...

were to go in the meal.  And when she got home, she cooked for two hours.
Finally, when lunch was ready, she went to her bedroom, preparing
herself as she had prepared the food.  She wore the blouse that Niimai
had complimented her on, and the skirt that he said matched her eyes. 
She brushed her hair into its best style, put on a little makeup so that
she looked her best.  She used minimal and quiet jewelry.  It suited her
personality.

I liked those last two lines, nicely worded :)

	When she finally looked in the mirror, only moments before he
arrived, she found a very beautiful woman staring back at her.  For a
brief, terrifying moment she felt like breaking that mirror.  She hated
herself, hated the way she looked.  But at the same time, she prayed that

I'm really not too sure why she hated the way she looked...

he would like it.   Finally, closing her eyes, she took a deep breath,
then jumped as she heard the doorbell ring.  
	She ran to answer the bell, not wanting to keep him waiting.  It
didn't seem to matter.  He seemed as cool as ever walking in, and only
her sensibilities kept her from screaming.  He touched her shoulder, then
moved to the table, saying nothing.  She nodded, going to the kitchen to
serve him, then sitting herself.  The two of them ate in silence, and it

Man, eatin' in silence...that's about as awkward a meeting as it can get, ne?

was only when the meal was gone, and all that was left was dessert that
the first words were spoken.
	"It's good to see you again, Moemi."  His voice was stilted and
formal.  It seemed as if he had no idea of what to do or say to her.  He
was not the only one, unfortunately.
	"It's good to see you as well, Niimai."  Nothing could mask the
complete sadness she felt as she spoke to him.  Her eyes said everything
to him, and he turned away, not wanting to see.
	Moemi could see immediately how painful this was for him, and she
was angry.  If it was so painful for him to come see her, why was he
here.  He didn't owe her anything, and it wouldn't have mattered anyway. 
He didn't want her back.  That was obvious in his manner.  His only
reason for coming here had been her statement that she wanted to remain
friends.
	She nodded, making small talk, trying to keep the conversation
>from dying as he packed up and left.  And when he was at the door, there
was nothing to be said.  He turned and left without a word.
	Moemi's arms folded around herself as she stared at the door,
willing him to come back, to say that he needed her in his life.  But he
didn't, and she eventually sank to the floor, tears in her eyes.

	Months had passed, and Motenuchi-kun was still very happy with
Ai.  Moemi was pleased for him, even if she wished with all her might to
have the same thing.  But she didn't love anyone other than Niimai, and
she doubted that she ever could.  She had tried for seven months to get
over him, and it was only now that it was beginning to work.  She still
saw him from time to time, and he was as kind and gentle as ever. 
Inevitably, after each time she saw him, she would pray to whatever god
was listening that she get him back, that he wake up and see what he was
missing.  But he never did.  
	Eventually, the pain she felt was down to a dull ache.  She

I liked that. A dull ache...it means that it's almost gone, but it still
remains...very good.

didn't avoid him anymore, and she was able to be friends with him.  But
she would never be fully able to get over him.  And maybe one day they
would be together again.  No one could know the future, after all.  It
might happen.
	Tears still plagued her at night, but only briefly as she thought
about him.  She nkitted scarfs and such to give to him.  And he accepted
them, more because he felt sorry for her than because he wanted or needed
them.  She knew this, but she couldn't do anything about it.  

Here's what I did. After readin' that paragraph, I looked at your username. And
since it was the name of the main female character in Fushigi Yuugi, I assumed
you were female. I know I shouldn't be assumin' anything. Anyway, having assumed
you were female, I started to wonder if this had really happened to ya...of
course, later on, you mention that somethin' along the lines of this did happen.
Jus' thought I oughtta letcha know...

	But she had started over again.  She was able to notice other
men, even if she wasn't particularly interested in them.  She was able to
see, looking back as she was, how Motenuchi-kun had looked at her, how he
had wanted a relationship with her.  She regretted the way she had
treated him, but she couldn't quite apologize.  She had begun to care
about life again.  And there was someone out there who cared about her. 
It just wasn't Niimai . . . . . 

-Miyaka

Author's Notes (2):
	I didn't honestly know how this story was going to end when I

Don't worry, I do that all the time. I start stories where I have no idea how it
would turn out...

started it.  I don't know if I have all of the titles or names correct,

I'm not gonna answer that because I have no idea about the names either.I saw
the show a while ago.

so if I have them wrong, I hope someone brings it to my attention in a
private email.  I'm drawing a little on my own experiences so that it

So my assumption back there had been right :)

will seem more realistic.  I like to think that Moemi eventually found
the person who loved her.  :)  And I like to think that she was very

You can always write a story on her findin' the right man if ya want...

happy with them.  Enjoy, and comments, critiques and flames can be
directed to: <miyaka@juno.com>.  Thanks!!!


-OneShot	
'Ranma's girls'  currently 643kbs and rising.