(Scene: The Rock of Perpetuity, a seeming mountain eternally
shrouded in mist. Lightning crashes in the background.)
(We switch to an interior view, to what appears to be an
old-fashioned Englishman's den. The walls are lined with bookcases (the
lettering on most of the books is so faint as to be unreadable), and
stuffed animal heads are near the ceiling. A merry blaze burns in the
fireplace. There are three overstuffed chairs, the middle one presently
occupied by the ancient and rather ugly wizard SKJAM! He is perusing a
book, but looks up and addresses the audience.)
SKJAM!: Good evening. Welcome to another episode of "Scott MSTys a
Fanfic." I am your host, SKJAM!
(he closes the book and sets it on a nearby end table.)
SKJAM!: Tonight, we take a break from "Onna:Red Side" and look at
Christian A Roger's (aka "Flashman") "TRIO." This is being done by
special request, and his check better clear. My guest commentators for
this chapter may be unfamiliar to some of you, but nevertheless, please
welcome Vampire Hunter Buffy!
(SKJAM! stands as a girl of about 16 enters the room. She has
shortish blonde hair and is quite pretty. She's wearing combat boots,
Levis, a t-shirt that says "Vitamin C is Nature's Sunshine...So have some
Orange Juice, Bloodsucker!" and a black leather jacket. Attached to her
person are several holsters for wooden stakes and other anti-undead
weapons.)
Buffy: Like, I'm really thrilled to be here, SKJAM! So, who's the
other guest? You said he would be really special!
SKJAM!: He certainly is. But then you already knew that.
Buffy: What?
SKJAM!: Let's have a big hand for...the Master!
(A mist creeps in along the floor, then piles up and becomes a
dark figure. It's a cadaverous individual with fangs and deformed
features, wearing black robes. Sadly for the Dr Who fans in the
audience, this is the "Master" from Buffy's show.)
Buffy: Gag me with a spoon! Like, I thought you were dead!
Master: Technically, yes, since 1387. Spirits of Darkness, but it's
good to get out of that hellmouth!
SKJAM!: Sorry, to disappoint you, but you never did make it out. I've
simply accessed your essence from before the point where Buffy destroyed
you forever.
Master: But I'm solid, which means that if I escape before you send me
back, I can...
SKJAM!: Sorry, no can do.
Buffy: (holding up cross) To your seat, vile creature!
Master: Hsss! Oh, very well. But I will triumph in the end, mark my
words.
SKJAM!: Historama! Start the show! *clap*
(A screen springs to life.)
On Sun, 20 Jul 1997, CHRISTIAN A ROGERS wrote:
Master: Curse those Christians! Them and their annoyingly potent
religion.
Hi. This is the Flashman.
SKJAM!: As in Harry Flashman, minor character in "Tom Brown's School
Days" and star of a series of novels by MacDonald Fraser? (I think that's
the right spelling.)
You are going to a place where the normal
rules of right and wrong no longer apply.
Master: Sounds like my kind of place.
A place where the light
enters but it looks all technicolory. A place known only as MY MIND.
Buffy: yah, like a boy's mind is somewhere I want to be.
Welcome and enjoy.
Master: Of my own free will?
This story will have a little of everything. That's why the main
characters are picked from my three favorite Anime. I also plan to
include several guest appearances by other well know characters. So
SKJAM!: That should probably be "known".
keep your eyes open.
Buffy: And my mouth shut? Not likely!
Send Flames, praise, ideas, and other such things to MXJK67C@Prodigy.
com.
SKJAM!: And this is what we're doing.
Legalese: All the big characters in the TRIO saga (with the exception
Master: But none of the small characters?
of most of the villains) are the properties of a lot of rich and
powerful people. (Who's that laughing?) Who would sue the pants off
me if they thought I was making a profit off this. (Which I'm not.)
So please, don't sue me. Hey, it's free advertising.
SKJAM!: Technically, these disclaimers don't protect you at all. But it
is polite to mention the creators by name, either up top or in the notes
at the end.
______________________________________________________________________
______
TRIO
How it began:
Lost Memories
The moon hung full in the sky. The figure threw several curses in
its direction because it made his stealth mission that much more
difficult with the extra light it was giving off. The figure was hit
by a sudden shaft of moonlight and was briefly illuminated before it,
no, he ducked back into the shadows.
Buffy: Like, cursing the moon is *so* mature.
Master: The full moon brings out the animal in me. AWWOOO!
Buffy: The children of the night are going to have holy water squirted
down their throat if they don't chill. (wields super-soaker)
In that short period, if one's eyes were fast enough, they would have
almost instantly noticed that the figure was not completely human.
SKJAM!: Mutant? Alien? Robot?
He was dressed in camouflage armor from head to toe. His eyes burned
with an inner molten red fire. He was covered with layers and layers
of rock hard muscle. However, he seemed to carry his weight in a way
Buffy: How are we seeing the muscle through the armor? If it's that
thin, it isn't going to protect him any.
that suggested that he was very
fast as well as strong. >
The sound of displacing air behind him, made him turn and face the
new being that suddenly appeared. This figure was not so careful
about hiding itself. It was hard to, when you entered from a portal
that gave off a glaring yellow light. The first figure growled at
the second, "Your late Warp."
SKJAM!: "You're."
"Sorry," Warp replied as she straightened her pink bodied, yellow
masked, green gloved, red caped and blue booted spandex costume.
(Don't worry folks. Those convulsions are a normal reaction.) "So,"
Master: So--glad--to--hear--it.
Buffy: At least her costume is better than his. Cammy is *so* last week.
Warp continued as she looked in the same direction the first figure
was looking, "Is that where we strike Snatcher?"
Buffy: Yes! Strike Snatcher! Put him out of our misery!
Snatcher nodded once and replied, "Yes. We move on three, you know
what to do?"
Warp laughed and said, "Of course. Though I may dress like it, I'm
not a complete fool you know."
SKJAM!: So why *does* she dress that way? To make opponents
underestimate her? Her Mom dressed her this morning? She simply has no
taste?
Snatcher grumbled, "Could have fooled me."
"Eh?"
"Never mind. One.. two... three! GO!"
Warp opened another portal and stepped through. Snatcher stood and
brought out a HUGE gun. (Think of the Proton Cannon Iron Man used in
Buffy: I like, but where'd he get it?
SKJAM!: Hammerspace, most likely.
Buffy: What's that?
SKJAM!: In anime, many characters are able to conceal their weapons in
clothing that could not possibly have room for them. Thus we posit an
extra-dimensional space where such items are stored for easy access. The
other possibility is the author simply forgot to mention the holster
until now.
Marvel Super Heroes and you'll get the basic idea.) He fired at the
gates to the research facility, unleashing the weapons purple laser
beam and naturally, a big BOOM resounded as the gate collapsed. This
brought a whole platoon of specially armored guards to the front gate.
Buffy: Uh, I've seen lasers in physics class. They don't go *BOOM*.
Master: Foolish mortal! Clearly the gates were made of explosive
material. Typical human design flaws.
They fired their weapons at Snatcher to no avail. He simply was too
fast for them to hit. They however, were easy pray for him as he
SKJAM!: (Snatcher voice) "Hail Mary, mother of God--"
Master (clapping hands to ears): Do you mind?
mercilessly shot them one after another after another. Suddenly, a
young woman's voice cried out, "HOLD IT PAL!"
"There they are," Snatcher thought, "the boss figured this out
pretty well. Let's just hope that Warp doesn't screw up."
Snatcher looked at the source of the voice and saw five figures
silhouetted against the moon. The middle figure started a whole
routine of complex arm motions as she said, "I am Sailor Moon the
champion of..... eep!"
Buffy: "eep!" What's that, and why's she the champion of it? And isn't
that outfit a bit skimpy for fighting evil?
Master: Lovely neck, though.
She and the others were cut
off as Snatcher
brought his weapon up > and with a cry of, "Yak, yak, yak," fired.
All five Senshi scattered at the blast and were sent sprawling.
"Owwwwww," Sailor Moon complained, "No fair! He's not supposed to
fire until after my speech!"
Buffy: What's a Senshi?
SKJAM!: Japanese for "Warrior" or "Soldier". Translated as "Scout" in
the DIC version.
"Quit whining Sailor Moon," Sailor Mars snapped, "Let's just get
this creep!"
"Think you can?" Snatcher said, "The name is Snatcher and there's no
way you little girls will ever beat me."
Buffy: Hah! Sexist pig!
"We'll see about that," Sailor Jupiter thundered (Sorry), "SPARKLING
WIDE PRESSURE!!!!"
Master: A most absurd phrase.
A concentrated ball of electricity formed in the green highlighted
Senshi's hand and she flung it at Snatcher with all her might.
Snatcher dodged quickly and fired again. To make a long battle short,
every time the Senshi tried to hit Snatcher, he dodged and returned
fire with his gun.
SKJAM!: By this point in the series, the girls have learned *some*
tactics. They'd try to herd him so Moon could get her "big gun" in place.
This kept on going for a while until Sailor Mercury saw a flash of
pink spandex from an open iron door. "Sailor Moon," she whispered,
"I thought I saw something over there," she pointed to the door,
"this guy might not be alone."
Sailor Moon nodded and she said to the others, "Keep this guy busy.
Mercury and I have to check something out."
"Right!" the others said.
Master: Left!
Snatcher was worried. Had they seen Warp? If they had, the plan
could be ruined. He aimed for Sailor Moon and..... suddenly his arm
was hit by a red rose and he dropped his gun. He looked up and saw
Tuxedo Kamen standing on one of the outer walls of the facility and
leaning on his cane. "Go Sailor Moon," Tux said, "the other Senshi
and I will make sure this miscreant does not bar your way."
Buffy: Ooh, he's a looker. Kinda reminds me of Angel.
Master: That traitor!
"What is it with you super hero types and corny lines?" Snatcher
quipped.
SKJAM!: You should talk.
Snatcher reached for his gun but Sailors Mars and Venus jumped
forward and......
"FIRE SOUL!"
"CRESCENT BEAM!"
The two attacks merged and they hit the gun, blowing it into a
million pieces. Snatcher leaped back, away from the explosion, then
thrust out his hand and a long chain, hidden under his armor by the
left wrist, shot out and wrapped around Tuxedo Kamen's cane. Snatcher
pulled and Tuxedo Kamen went flying forward because he had neglected
to let go of the previously mentioned cane.
Buffy: Oopsie.
Tux flipped in mid air and landed on his feet in front of Snatcher.
They both pulled on opposite ends of the chain with all their might
as they tried to disarm each other. Snatcher chuckled and said, "Now
THIS is what I call, 'the ol' ball and chain'!"
"And you call MY lines corny?" Tuxedo Kamen remarked wryly
"So sue me, I was raised on Spider-Man comics."
SKJAM!: The US ones, or the manga with art by the guy who did Crying
Freeman?
>
The other three Senshi watched the duel and wanted to help, but held
their fire for fear of hitting Cape Boy. "We've got to DO something,
" Jupiter said.
Buffy: (Barbie voice) Let's go shopping!
"Leave it to me," a new person said.
The three Senshi turned and saw a young man dressed in a red Chinese
shirt, blue silk pants and having black hair done with a short
pigtail in the back, rush into the yard, leap up into the air and
deliver a picture perfect drop kick to Snatcher's head.
Buffy: He's pretty handsome too, though his clothes are icky. And that
pigtail *has* to go.
It was a bad day to be Ranma Saotome. He had already argued with
Akane 15 times in two hours, had fought with Mousse, Ryoga and Kuno,
and to top it all off he had gone up against a perverted Wind
Elemental (Don't ask.)
Master: But I like hearing about perverted elements.
So, when he had seen the fight he decided that...
1) It was his duty as a martial artist to help stop crime when he
could.
2) He could blow off some steam by pounding this loser.
&
3) Showing up the semi-famous Sailor Senshi would make him feel
better.
Buffy: So they'd be "Sailor Scouts" in the DIC version? Do they sell
cookiers?
>
Snatcher rolled on the ground and stood. Only to be thrown a second
SKJAM!: Linking by a comma would be better here.
later by Tuxedo Kamen, as the distraction had allowed him to get a
better grip on the chain. Snatcher flipped in mid air and he scored
a perfect two point landing. He turned towards Ranma and said, "Oh,
did you make a mistake boy."
"I don't think so."
"Confident aren't you? 'Scuse me while I dump this guy."
Snatcher hit a button on the side of his armors left arm and the
chain released. The sudden end to the resistance made Tux fall
backwards as his momentum made him lose his balance. Then Snatcher
got into a fighting stance and said, "Let's dance!"
Master: I enjoy a good minuet myself.
SKJAM!: Waltzes are more my style.
Buffy: No way! Mosh pits or nothing!
Meanwhile, inside the facility....
Sailor Moon looked around nervously. "Are you sure you saw
something Mercury?" she asked, "We have to get back out there and
help Mamo-ch... the others."
Mercury giggled slightly and replied, "I'm pretty sure. Just a
little longer."
Buffy: It's been days since I've had you alone!
Then they heard a voice say, "All right egg head! This had better
be the right place."
Buffy: Egg Head? Isn't he a Batman villain?
"Yes. Yes," A nasally voice replied, "It's in there. Please, don't
kill me!"
"Awww. I won't kill you. I'm just gonna send you on a little trip.
To the top of Niagara Falls that is. Yee hee ha ha!"
The two Senshi turned the corner and saw Warp as she threw a man
that looked like a real techie type, into a yellow portal and he
disappeared with a pop. "Hold it!" Sailor Moon shouted, "You shall
pay for your cold blooded actions and your color blind fashion sense!
I am Sailor Moon the Champion of Justice!" (Insert the rest of the
speech here, I'm feeling a bit lazy tonight.)
Buffy: No fair! Heroines should always get to finish their speeches
right before gutting the bad guy.
Warp suddenly disappeared in a blink of the eye and reappeared
inside the room the scientist had led her to. She grabbed a small
device with a red ball on top off a table and said, "Now you see why
I'm called Warp. I'll just take this little baby and....."
Master: Pity. I had rather hoped it referred to your sexual
proclivities.
"SHABON SPRAY!!!"
Buffy: Huh?
SKJAM!: Bubble Spray. Mercury's basic attack.
The bubbles that Mercury fired, spread out and became a mist that
blinded Warp and so she was caught completely off guard as Sailor
Moon pulled out her scepter and fired the crescent moon shaped bolt
of energy with a cry of, "MOON PRINCESS HALATION!!!!"
Buffy: Again, huh?
SKJAM!: You got me.
The blast hit Warp right in the stomach and she screamed in pain.
Fortunately for her, Sailor Moon had known she had been a regular
human and not a Yoma, so she had lowered the power level of the
Buffy: Again,...
SKJAM!: A Yoma (or Youma, if you like) is one of the monsters from the
first season of Sailor Moon.
scepter and it had only been meant to incapacitate not disintegrate.
However, none of them, even Warp herself, were prepared for what
happened next. Three little yellow portals flew from Warps body.
The first hit Sailor Moon and she disappeared in a flash of light.
"USAGI!" Mercury yelled in shock.
SKJAM! (Before Buffy can say anything): Or "Bunny", Sailor Moon's
civilian name.
The other two portals flew out the window......
Back outside......
Snatcher and Ranma were going at it tooth and nail. Ranma hit
Snatcher with a spin kick to the side of the head and Snatcher
answered with a punch to the face. At that moment the two portals
blasted out of the building. One flew high into the night sky and
the other ran into Ranma and he also disappeared in a flash of light.
Master: That means Snatcher wins by a TKO! I love it when the bad guys
triumph!
>
"Wha...." All of the remaining participants said.
A yellow portal opened and Warp, still holding her chest, walked out
and gasped, "Got... what... we... need.... go.... now..... can... we?
"
Snatcher looked at her with concern and said to the Senshi, "Time
Buffy: Could Snatcher actually have feelings for Warp? Or is he just
worried about his ride?
> for me to go. I'll definitely want a rematch
someday. See ya!" >
He jumped into the portal with Warp and the two of them disappeared.
Mercury ran out in tears and the others quickly noticed the absence
of their Dumpling Headed friend. "Where's Sailor Moon?" Mars asked.
SKJAM!: Visting Waldo and Carmen SanDiego.
"Gone," Mercury said in a grief stricken whisper, "The woman... Warp.
Did something with one of her portals and.... Usagi.. she... she's..
.. gone."
Meanwhile......
Everyone: Back at the ranch.
The third mini portal that had unconsciously fired from Warp
traversed space and time. So the third person who would be taken
would be very different.
In the future, in a wild jungle.....
The man looked around for his opponent warily. He knew his opponent
was very crafty and could strike from anywhere. He was a man in his
late teens. He wore a black karate uniform that was an amalgamation
between his father's and his first teacher's. His opponent was the
latter.
A voice from the south said, "Gohan," and he turned.
Buffy: That means lunch, right? This kid is pretty easily distracted.
The attack came from the north. Gohan had expected this and he
blocked the incoming blow. He reached deep inside himself and called
forth his ki. His black hair turned blond and he felt his power grow.
The golden flame that represented his ki flared around him.
Master: Aah! The light! The accursed light!
His opponent also flared his ki. However, his hair did not turn
blond. That was because he had no hair. He was green skinned, with
Master: I can sympathize.
\
a black uniform and a turban and cape that gave him an "Alien of
Arabia" look. "Nice try Piccolo," Gohan said with a grin, "but I
haven't fallen for that trick since I was little."
Buffy: Piccolo?!
SKJAM!: Long story.
Piccolo also grinned and replied, "Good. Now let us see if you can
fight better than you did when you were a kid."
"OK!"
The two flew into the air and clashed. They threw punches and kicks
with a speed that no human eye could have kept up with. The best a
watcher could have hoped for was streaks representing the
participants and ripples representing where they collided. They
seemed to be equal but both of them knew better. "Show me," Piccolo
ordered, "show me more than just a small portion of what you can
do!"
Gohan shrugged and replied, "Whatever you say."
His aura flared even larger and he moved so fast, that Piccolo had
no hope of blocking. Gohan hit Piccolo with several punches to the
stomach and followed up with a snap kick to the jaw that sent Piccolo
spiraling down to the ground with a crash. Gohan lost his smug grin
and flew down to the ground. He looked in the small crater Piccolos
crash had created and he called out, "You okay? I didn't hit you
THAT hard did I?"
Piccolo shot out of the crater and hit Gohan with a strong chop to
the jaw. "Guess not," Gohan mentally noted.
Piccolo moved in and tried to chop him again but Gohan moved and
flashed out his foot into Piccolo's midsection. Then a forearm blow
sent Piccolo to the ground. Piccolo stood and wiped green blood from
his lip as he said, "First blood goes to you. You win.... again."
/Buffy: Pretty good. I'm going to have to learn some of those moves.
Gohan smiled and turned off his ki, his hair turning back to its
natural black color. He replied, "You're still awesome Piccolo, and
one of the best friends I've ever had."
Piccolo grimaced slightly and said, "Yeah, well, don't start getting
all mushy on me."
Master: What, no kissing?
Both of them turned as they sensed a tearing in the natural order of
space and time. They saw a little yellow portal appear in the sky
and before they could move, it rushed forward and hit Gohan, sending
him to points unknown. "GOHAN!" Piccolo cried out.
"I can't feel his ki anymore," Piccolo thought, "No.... my friend.
It's a good thing Goku is already dead. This would have killed him
for sure. How am I going to tell Chi-Chi?"
SKJAM!: Long-distance. Preferably from another solar system.
Back to the present, New York City USA.....
Office Carlos Molaris (Carl to his friends) was bored. He had been
on duty for 12 hours and not a single thing had happened. Not that
he was complaining, it was just that he knew this was too quiet to
last.
Suddenly, he saw three little yellow portals float in the sky and
then combine into one giant sized version that spit out three figures
and vanished. "Whoa," Carl thought, "I knew it."
Master: Too much coffee will do that to you.
He drove his patrol car over to where the three rather dazed looking
figures stood. He got out of his car and walked in front of them and
he noticed right away that none of them noticed him. They just
continued to stare ahead in a daze. He walked up to the nearest
figure, a young girl with blue eyes, and blonde hair done up in a
bizarre style of two buns with ponytails. She was dressed in a white
shirt and a knee length blue dress. (Authors note: This is her
regular school uniform and not her Senshi outfit.) Carl waved a hand
in front of her face and for a second she ignored him but then her
eyes focused and she started following his hand.
Master: Follow my hand. You are becoming sleepy, your eyelids are
growing heavy. When you awake, you will want to neck...
The other two boys also seemed to be coming out of it and when they
noticed the police officer they jumped back in surprise. Carl held
up his hands and said, "It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. Are
you three okay?"
The three of them nodded and Carl asked, "Who are you?"
SKJAM!: What is your quest?
Buffy: What is your favorite color?
Master: What's your blood type?
SKJAM!: That's not how the routine goes.
Master: Hey, what do *i* care about air-speed?
The girl said, "Tsukino, Usagi," and Carl noticed the Japanese
accent in her voice.
The first boy said with the same accent, "Saotome, Ranma."
The other boy, "Son, Gohan."
Carl continued the questioning with, "Where did you come from? Do
you have any family I can contact?"
Master: Would you like some candy?
Dead silence. All three of them looked at each other, then looked
at Officer Molaris and said together, "I don't remember."
SKJAM!: A note here. Both Ranma and Usagi are notoriously bad at
English...
TO BE CONTINUED.............
SKJAM!: And we'll be back!
SKJAM!